After All - Part Fifty Five

Chapter Fifty Five

The boat powered across the azure seas, the groan of the engine the only thing that disturbed the peace and serenity. It was idyllic, and if she could have frozen a moment to savour for the rest of her days, then that was it. Dylan had hired a crew with the boat, so they could appreciate the day for what it was. And as the boat surged through the rolling water, they both lounged on the top deck, basking in the sun. The guide took them South, along the coast, and from their recliners, they sipped tropical fruit juice as they watched the coast move from one luxurious resort to another isolated beach, then they veered off further out to sea and as they finished their lunch, a small island came into view.

Their host came up to see them, explaining that the island was uninhabited, but there were three beautiful beaches, they had a small dinghy on board to take them to shore.

Half an hour later they were swimming in the perfect, warm sea, laughing at the fish that were plentiful near the shore. It was idyllic and yet more memories for them to store up for the future.

It was dark when they got back to the hotel, and the subject of her father didn’t come up until they were in bed, exhausted and well loved.

                “I don’t want to leave here.” Matilda was running her fingers over his chest, dragging her nails against his skin.

Dylan let out a slow moan, his eyes still closed, “it is heaven...but nothing lasts forever, not holidays anyway.” He grimaced at the faux pas then opened his eyes, “not you...not us. I mean here...this. After all we’re going to Chiang Mai.”

It was her turn to grimace, “can we put it off, go another time?”

Propping himself onto his elbow he towered over her, “what is it? What are you afraid of?”

She shook her head, “I’m not afraid...not really. It’s just...” She sighed, “whilst it’s just the two of us I can believe this is it, this is forever, but if you and Gareth start arguing, or my Dad says something...” She blinked away tears; all she wanted was for everyone to get on.

He chuckled, “nothing they say will be undeserved or put me off. I was wrong Matilda, I DID wrong. I get that. It’ll take years for you to trust me again, if you ever do truly, and I can’t expect them to be any easier on me.”

She shook her head, “I do trust you, I always have, that’s the problem.”

He sighed, “you always did believe in me, more than I did myself.”

She smiled sadly, “you were always doing things. If you wanted it you were single minded in getting it. I should have known when I sent you those papers that you’d rebel. It was the biggest failing double bluff of all time.”

                “You didn’t want to divorce me?”

She shook her head, “I just needed you home, holding my hand as I watched my mother die.”

Pulling her into a hug he placed his lips on her forehead and groaned, “I am SO sorry.”

Her eyes were closed when he pulled back to look at her and he thought she was closing the subject, but then she spoke, “talk to me.” Her eyes flashed open, “tell me how you’re feeling...in the future?”

He nodded, “no more misunderstandings. I get that. I WANT that.” His arms slid around her, pulling her into his body, “because I want to wake up to this...to YOU, every morning. Ok?”

As she nodded, desperate tears did fall, and Dylan took an age kissing each one of them away before devouring her in a similarly attentive way.

When they boarded a plane north to her father five days later they were no longer the high powered business couple from London, her in her bright fabrics, sun burnt nose, he with his tan and shorts...they were happy holiday makers, and a couple in love.

But as they disembarked in Chiang Mai, Dylan could sense the tension in Matilda.           

“It’s fine, you’ll see.” He took her hand and squeezed her fingers. “This is the worst thing we’ll ever have to deal with, ok?”

She wished she could share his optimism, but she didn’t. But then her father was stood in front of her beaming, the worry lines that had seemed to occupy his face gone for the moment.

                “Matilda.” As he pulled her into his arms, his lips found her forehead and he kissed her there, “I never thought I’d see you here. You look so well!” He held her at arms’ length for a moment, then his eyes flitted to behind her. She waited for the animosity, the anger but there was none. Instead he grinned.

Turning she saw Dylan smile and offer a handshake, but Jimmy Davies was having none of that, instead, he grinned then pulled his ex son in law into a bear hug, “I should want to kill you, but I haven’t seen her look so well since you left. You’re good for her...”

Dylan sighed, “I promised you Jimmy, I won’t hurt her again.”

Her father nodded, “good, I’ll take you at your word...or else.” But there was humour in his eyes as holding Matilda’s hand in a way he hadn’t since she was a kid he led her out into the hot humid day in the mountainous City.

A taxi waited, and as they piled in, her father sat proudly pointing out the sights as they meandered through the busy streets.

Dylan had booked them into a high end chain hotel, it was, her father told her, about fifteen minutes from his house. And the plan was that they’d have dinner together in the hotel, the following day, her father was planning to barbeque for them both, as well as her brother Gareth and Suni his partner. It was a more laid back chance for her to see the house, where her father was going to spend most of his life, and her brother and Dylan to meet face to face.

                “I’ll wait in the bar.” Her father announced as they entered the hotel reception. “I’ll reserve a table for an hour?”

She nodded, “brilliant. We’ll just dump our bags...”

Smiling he gave her a kiss on the cheek, “I’m on the case, the food here is amazing. Take as long as you need. I’m in no rush.”

The room they had was amazing, luxurious and huge; the view was across the city. She stood staring out when she felt Dylan approach and stand behind her, arms encircling her.

                “You ok?” His chin rested on the top of her head and he took in the same view as her.

She sighed, “yes. Just seems a little surreal on times, I mean my father lives here...and now you’re here...”

Smiling he turned Matilda in his embrace, “go shower, freshen up...I need to talk to your Dad, ok?”

                “NO...” She made to protest, but he silenced her with a kiss.

                “It’s a man thing,” he breathed against her lips once he’d ended his devour of them. “I have to speak to him; I have to make this right, when you’re not around.”

As she shook her head, scared of what could happen, he chuckled, “I thought you trusted me.”

                “I do...”

                “And you trust your Dad. We’re two mature men, having a frank discussion about a woman we both love. Ok?”

She gave a reluctant nod, then watched as he left the room.

Dylan, despite his declarations, was nervous. He’d thought of Jimmy Davies as almost a father in the five years he’d been part of Matilda’s life, and he had no idea what the older man truly thought of him. But he also knew he couldn’t hide behind that.

Entering the bar his eyes darted around until he spotted him talking to another man in the corner, making for the bar, he ordered a whisky, it may only be lunch time, but for the first time in a long time he wanted a little Dutch courage. That’s because this is the first thing you’ve TRULY cared about since you let Matilda walk away. He hated the brutality of that revelation, but he also knew his subconscious was right, he needed this to work, it wasn’t a gamble, it wasn’t a risk, it HAD to work out. There was no room for failure.

He downed the shot of Irish whisky, before ordering a bottle of red wine, something he knew his ex father in law favoured. As he made for a table in the corner of the room, he spotted the older man moving to join him.

                “That was a man whose brother was in school with me, believe it or not,” he gestured at the man he’d been talking to. “It’s a small world, isn’t it?”

Dylan took the poignancy of that comment and nodded, “You never know who you’re going to bump into.”

                “I was worried...when I heard you’d become her boss.”

Dylan paused in his task of filling two glasses, “really? She told you?”

Jimmy nodded, “first thing she’d really told me in years. She’s been...” he paused thinking for a word for a moment, “distant. Empty. You know?”

Dylan wanted to laugh as they perfectly described how his life had been for the past six years too, but this wasn’t about him. SO he gave a nod, then carried on filling their glasses.

                “You remembered then? My love for New World red?”

Dylan swirled the Australian Shiraz around his glass and nodded, “of course. There’s very little that I’ve forgotten about Matilda and her family.”

                “We were like your family.”

Again Dylan nodded, “you were. Far more generous with affection than anyone in my life.”

Jimmy contemplated what that meant for a long moment, “that’s a sad fact.”

                “It’s not an excuse Jimmy, but I wanted to be the best for her...somewhere along the way I lost sight of the real goal, her, and got hung up on being a success.”

                “And in doing so alienated the only person who’d loved you to distraction.”

The cold harsh truth, though it wasn’t delivered maliciously, sent tears to his eyes, and proud, composed Dylan could only nod meekly. “I never meant for things to go as they did...but I was hurt, stubborn...hell Jimmy I was still a kid, too young and too immature to be all that she needed.”

                “Bullshit!” Jimmy shook his head in frustration, “you were exactly what she needed. You worshipped her, in a way that only me and her mother had before that. She had always grown up in an over loving environment...if that’s possible, she found moving out hard. But in you, she found that same security, same love that she had at home. In that she could thrive...achieve anything.”

                “But I let her down.”

The older man nodded, “when she really truly needed you. And I hated you for that. I really did. But the shell that was my daughter...we met for dinner, a couple of weeks after you came back into her world. And she was different. Or rather the same. She had a sparkle in her eye, a bounce in her step. I got Matilda back. As soon as I knew you were on the scene I knew that you had done what no one else could do. You kick started her back into life, and the moment your name left her lips...I knew that you being here couldn’t be a bad thing.”

                “You are far too gracious Jimmy, but then you always were.”

Jimmy laughed, “you think? If I’d seen you four or five years ago you wouldn’t have thought that.”

Dylan laughed, “I deserve all you throw at me...I was stupid, stubborn...”

                “You both were. Maybe I should have just bashed your heads together then, it may have never got this far.”

Dylan sighed, “maybe we both had to lose each other to realise how much we needed each other. I mean if you’d talk me a year ago I’d be sat at a table with you discussing my love of your daughter I’d have laughed out loud. I resented her, I wanted to hurt her like she’d hurt me.”

Jimmy sighed, “that’s a very...well thought out answer.”

                “You make it sound contrived...but to be honest Jimmy, if you refused to share this glass of wine with me, if you hated me, it wouldn’t change how I feel about her, and it wouldn’t change what I want for the future. When the time is right she will become my wife again, not for any reason other than she completes me. I have never stopped loving your daughter, I knew that the moment I saw her again. No one has ever felt this important to me.”

It surprised him to see Jimmy smile, but that’s what he did, “Gareth will kill me for being what he would call soft, but all I want is Matilda to be happy. Not to have to worry about her. The last time was when she was with you. If I’ve got this wrong I won’t be responsible for my actions, but whether it’s right or I’m just old and gullible, I trust you.” HE laughed, “trust you with my little girl. Don’t break her again.”

                “Thanks Jimmy, but there’s more chance of her breaking me, I assure you.”

They shook hands on that, and it was at that moment that Matilda floated into the room, ethereal in her beauty, her hair damp from the shower, plaited over one shoulder, a bright floral beach dress covering her body, her height elevated in a pair of heeled sandals.

If Dylan’s pleas to Jimmy with regard to Matilda weren’t believed, the look on his face as Matilda moved towards them was more than enough to convince him that he was deadly serious. And Jimmy’s heart surged with pleasure. 

After All - Part Fifty Four

Chapter Fifty Four

Sorry again at the huge delay, summer is proving to be more than hectic. This chapter isn't really complete, but I've posted earlier than intended where a natural break appeared. Will crack on tonight and have next part out tomorrow. 

The end is in sight!

Her protests of “what do you mean?” fell on deaf ears. Dylan absorbed her into a bear hug and was snoring in a few moments. Leaving her to stare at the ceiling. Visiting her father, that was the purpose of this trip, but suddenly it was the last thing she wanted. Her brother would pour scorn on her decisions, she knew that, and that was what she feared, he and Dylan had always had a volatile relationship. They didn’t need any added stress, not at this stage...not that Gareth was speaking out of turn really, he’d seen how devastated she’d been, he’d seen her personal hell, and there was the added fact that Dylan could do no wrong in their mother’s eyes, she knew that Gareth was envious of that. And who could blame him. He’d grown up in a well rounded normal family, and didn’t appreciate what it was to have supportive parents, Dylan having had the opposite was overwhelmed by her parents and the way they supported him, and his actions and reactions only reinforced that. It had led to a standoff with Gareth.

So why were they visiting him? There was no need to get them all involved. She didn’t want them to know about Dylan until she was comfortable and confident in her own way. And she was a long way from that. Now he was about to change that in typical controlling Dylan fashion.

She took a deep breath; this was his problem, not hers. Her family would be glad to see her; he could deal with the animosity. He’d forced this. That was her final thought as she succumbed to much needed sleep.

Matilda could barely lift her eyes lids, she was aware it wasn’t dark anymore, yet she was exhausted, but then she’d done more thinking than sleeping the previous night, her mind wasn’t keen to turn off. She could hear movement in the adjacent lounge, Dylan was an early riser. Glancing around the room, she spotted a shirt of his, not the one she’d virtually ripped off him the previous night, but another one. Sliding it over her naked body, she stretched, rubbed her eyes then moved into the lounge.

Dylan was hunched over his laptop talking urgently into his phone, it wasn’t a pleasant conversation, he was hissing, trying not to raise his voice, but she could hear the anger, see the tension in his shoulders. He was only wearing a pair of board shorts, which seemed ridiculous when he was engrossed in so technical and deep a conversation.

Seeing her out the corner of his eye, he looked up and gave her a smile, then ended the call abruptly.

                “David, I don’t care who authorised it, it wasn’t me. So I suggest you find out and deal with it...I am on vacation!”

As he tossed the phone on to the table beside his laptop he turned to her and pulled her close, his arms wrapping around her waist, which meant that still seated his head rested on her stomach. She placed her hands on his head, appreciating the poignancy of the moment. Eventually he gave his head a little shake and looked up at her.

                “New York?”

He nodded, pulling her astride his thighs, “yep. Some huge screw up that only I can deal with apparently!”

                “Ah.” She lowered her head to his shoulder, suddenly not able to think about time without him now that he’d thrust himself into her life.

Chuckling, a deep sound, he lifted her head, looked into her eyes, “and I told them to get over it. Wild horses or economic collapse will not drag me away from you. I will not make that mistake again, ok?”

Smiling she accepted his kiss, the warm reassurance of his lips on hers, but she couldn’t make him do that, not deep down.

                “If you have to go, then you must.” She felt emotional as she said it, but she couldn’t expect him to put everything on hold for her.

But he was shaking his head, “I employ people on HUGE salaries to deal with this shit. Someone screwed up when I was away...so they need to deal with it, if you’re in charge; you take the rough with the smooth.”

                “But...”

He placed a finger over her lips, “I haven’t had a holiday in years, I have a luxury yacht chartered for an hour’s time, and a deluxe breakfast is en route from the restaurant as we speak.”  

Again she opened her mouth and he lifted an eyebrow, “not good enough?”

She laughed, “it’s perfect...but I don’t want this to be an issue, you know, that every time something crops up you’ll be obliged to do right by me. There are other things in your life. I know that.”

                “I have to decide what’s right for ME, and for too long that was being the best...now it’s keeping the best...YOU. OK?”

How did you answer that?

Matilda did the best she could, by landing her lips on his. Devouring him with an attentiveness that made him moan. He was just loosening the buttons on her shirt...HIS shirt when the doorbell rang.  With a groan, he lifted her from his lap, then groaned again as she propped herself provocatively against the desk, far too much flesh on show as he made for the door.

Breakfast. That was what they both needed.

Sat on the veranda overlooking the cerulean sea that was millpond still, the early morning sun already warm, the aromas from breakfast...Dylan wondered if he’d ever been this content, this happy before. Matilda was sat opposite him, indecent in just his dress shirt, and his aviator sunshades which he had to admit looked better on her than on him. She was nibbling rather erotically at a strawberry and he couldn’t see her eyes, but knew they were watching him, he could see the hint of a smile of her lips.

                “What?” He put down his coffee cup.

                “Nothing...just can’t believe you’re not going to sort out your shit.”

He laughed, “and what exactly would you have said if I upped and left you here? You’d never have forgiven me so don’t try and trick me. And anyway, I’m exactly where I want to be. Ok?!” He was quiet for a moment, toying with the fruit salad in front of him, “it was the worst thing I’ve ever done...”

She looked up at that, “what?”

He sighed, “abandoning you, seeking out success at your expense.”

Sitting back in her chair she looked at him for a moment, “really?”

He nodded, “I told you that, I’ve had a long time to rue what I did, and even longer to work out exactly what the hell I was playing at. I won’t make that mistake again...”

He watched Matilda drop her head for a moment, “my father? You’ve spoken to him?”

He nodded, “he called me, seems your brother was worried that I called him.”

                “Shit. What did he say?”

He gave her an enigmatic smile, “you’ll see and hear for yourself in a couple of days.”

                “Was he awful?”

Laughing he gave his head a shake, “if he’d treated MY daughter the way I’d treated you, I’d have been nowhere near as lenient, but then your father is a gentleman of the old school variety.”

He could see she was pondering what that meant, but he wasn’t lying, he had no intention of hiding from Jimmy Davies, and he wasn’t about to hide from his role in the past. This was the new him, he just had to convince her of it. This new Dylan Wallace was feeling great to him, suddenly the disappointment, the hardship, the void in his life that his success didn’t seem to fill, it was all changed.

An hour later he was in her room helping her fill the bags that she’d brought with her, moving her into his suite. That was the minimum that had to happen, he kept insisting.

                “Come on, come on!” he was jumping from one leg to another as she cleared the bathroom shelves.

                “What’s the rush?” she snapped.

                “The boat!”

She rolled her eyes carrying on at her own pace.

Back in his room he left the bags in the bedroom, “I’ve arranged for a woman to come and empty them, she’ll launder what needs it and hang the rest up. COME ON!”

Again rolling her eyes, she allowed him to pull her out into the corridor.

                “That’s not a boat!” Matilda announced stood staring at the huge luxury motor boat at the harbour in front of them.

He shrugged, “it’s a motorboat, admittedly it’s high spectrum...” He turned to her, “two things, firstly, a yacht, sail boat or smaller engine wouldn’t cover the distances we need to get to the delights of the coast in a day, and secondly, I can afford it...and you are MORE than worth it.”

The look that accompanied that comment warmed her to her toes. With him she felt worth it, he was openly affectionate, complimentary...honest. And as he leaned close and murmured his desire to swim with her in the most beautiful beaches, she literally melted into him. Maybe she just had to get used to living at the level he now did. That shouldn’t be difficult. Should it?

After All - Part Fifty Three

Chapter Fifty Three

Sorry at the delay AGAIN. really wanted to get this right, it's been really hard getting this right in my eyes. Hope this is how you all feel things should go. Couple more chapters to go, the next story is already infiltrating, another reason why finishing this one is so hard!

Thanks for reading, MZxxx

Dylan was amazed. She’d followed him, said what she said without realising what he’d offered her. Suddenly it all changed, he’d presumed she’d chased him knowing all that he’d put on the table, the fact that she hadn’t even looked... He’d sat at his computer earlier trying his best to think of what he could do, how he could manage to make this work, and he’d then thought of the hotel. Him taking it over had been where this had all changed, but if he gave her some sort of foothold in his company, then he could make her the owner, the hotel could be hers to run, hire, fire, profit or loss. He’d hoped that would make her happy, that she’d know that things could work out even if they didn’t decide to try again. That he was separating their work from their relationship, giving her the freedom he’d taken away. That ugly argument and her resigning was always in the back of his head.  

He’d hoped that was the white dove, the flag of surrender. But as he watched her turn towards him he could see anger on her face.

                “Were you about to buy me off? Was that what this was?”

He rolled his eyes as Matilda stared at him, “are you going to take this the wrong way too? Bloody hell woman! How many hoops do I have to jump through?”

She shrugged, “this was the gesture? I can’t fathom it. This is the price you put on us?”

He grabbed her hands and shook his head, “NO. This is me thinking of the big picture. I know that you feel vulnerable, that you’ve been looking for other jobs. But you are the hotel. It is more about you than it ever was about me. You wanted me to prove that I was serious; you wanted to know how I feel? Well this is how I feel. I honestly believe I’ve taken away your stability...again. I want you to feel safe, independent. Working for me, with me...it’s never going to work long term, not if we’re living together too.”

                “Living together?” she breathed not sure how the tone of the conversation had changed to swiftly.

He nodded, “of course...I know you don’t want to rush things, but I’m planning, I’m looking to the future.” He reached for the envelope and opened it, pulling out further papers. “You’ll take this wrong too, I’m sure. But these are prospectuses, all the housing projects, new builds, major renovations, happening between the hotel and London, they won’t be ready for several months, but I thought we could look, plan ahead.” As she made to protest he shook his head, “no. Don’t talk. Listen. I have let you do everything you want to punish me, I know I was wrong and I let you whip me as hard as I have castigated myself, I get that. But do you want to hear what I want? How I see our future?” She gave a silent nod, “I sat today and tried to think how I could prove to you that I was serious, that I want a future with you. And all I could do was think of what I wanted. And what I saw was you running the hotel, more than competently...” he smiled. “Me, occasional trips overseas, but mainly managing things from home...not a London apartment sterile, devoid of life, but a house, a home, decorated with pictures from our holidays, filled with colour and life. That’s what I want...you, a home, a life.”

He saw her gasp, take in a quick rushed breath, “really?”

He nodded, “it’s what I wanted six years ago, I was just too stubborn to admit it. You know how rubbish my life has been, if I think today about ‘home’, well it’s our little flat that patchwork quilt, the tiny kitchen, a home filled with life and love...since I met you, you made me realise what I wanted from life. You...me...a warm friendly home...nothing like my mother’s. I want kids...I told you that, and I know that I hurt you with my actions over that...but it was guilt at myself, guilt at what I’d forced on you, nothing else. I swear.”

He took a deep breath, he was throwing his heart at her feet, he could only hope it was enough. “But I know one thing; I want you more than anything else. I want to come home to you every day, I want to wake with you every morning, I want to spend my life with you, forever.”

Matilda wondered if she would pass out. She was hyperventilating as Dylan stared at her, every emotion on his face, whilst a million of her own emotions were surging through her veins. She’d craved this, his honesty, his intentions, and had no idea he’d be so frank, so brutally honest, and so open...but he made the future sound so simple. Buying houses, running the hotel. As she deliberated all that he said, tried to process it, he took her hands.

                “Don’t mistake a grand gesture for me being blasé. This,” he gestured at the documents he’d put in an envelope, “this is what I want...what I see in the future. Ok? How we get there? Well if it was up to me, I’d go to your room pack up everything and move you lock stock and barrel into MY life. But I know that you need time, I know that things aren’t that simple. But if you doubt that I’m realistic, if you doubt that I don’t want you forever...” he sighed. “Just don’t. OK?”

She felt tears well at her eyes, whatever she’d wanted from him, this was so much more, this was Dylan opening his chest, revealing his beating heart, and with it his deepest darkest vulnerability. She felt like yelling ‘SNAP’, because she’d done the same back in London and he’d walked all over her in angry stamps. But instead she stepped up to him, lifting her hand to cup his cheek, then landing her lips on his as she craned up on tip toes.

The kiss was furious, aggressive, demanding, all of the things it should be, and she melted into his arms. Knowing she could have quite happily died there at that moment.  But it was a discreet cough that caused them to pull apart. Matilda blushed at the waiter who stood there awkwardly smiling. They hadn’t touched their starters, so both smiled apologetically then sat to eat. But now, instead of that awkward tension, there was a different type of anxiety in the air.

Dylan in his seat stared at her, a devouring look as he picked at his food, every now and again finding something he wanted her to taste, stretching out his fork, encouraging her to share his delight. She began doing the same. Then his knees brushed hers. Her eyes snapped to his and he gave a lazy grin.

How the hell was she going to tolerate another two courses when he was setting her on fire with a quick glance or touch?

The meal was tantamount to torture, as the food arrived; Matilda managed to eat, despite the lump of anxiety wedged in her throat. The conversation was light, very neutral, comments on the freshness of the fish, the tartness of the lemon and lime sorbet or the succulence of the steak. Because the food was perfect. But all the while his eyes were seducing her, reaffirming all that he had promised verbally. Up until now she’d had the upper hand, for the first time in their relationship, but since his heart wrenching and toe curling confession, he was back in control, and she was all agog with what that meant.

                “Dance?” she was sipping champagne when Dylan’s voice penetrated her brain.

She looked up to meet his eyes and smiled, “ok.”

As he stood, he held out a hand and reached for hers, when she lifted hers to grab it, he tugged her to her feet, then into his body. His arms sliding around her spine, and she melted into him. There was music, it was distant, but enough that they could sway in time to the beat. Dylan’s chin was against her head, his heart beating loudly against her cheek. It was the most intimate moment she could ever remember experiencing, there was so much unsaid between them, so much already said. Promises made, plans discussed, though the actual details were still not sorted. And she was struggling to focus on them for his pounding heart, and her throbbing libido.

In reality Matilda knew that it was too soon to just become Dylan’s housemate, to slide into a full on relationship before they’d become acquainted to each other, they had to date, get to know each other again, but she wasn’t filled with fear over that any more, in fact she was looking forward to debating who’s room they went to when they got back to the hotel. Because in his arms, she knew that was inevitable, if the restaurant they were adjacent to hadn’t been so busy, she’d have thrown herself at him there and then.

                “Let’s go.”

His voice was a whisper at her ear, and said her body buzzing, she gave a brief nod, smiling at the fact that he could just lead her out of the hotel, there was no bill to pay, nothing to settle, he’d planned the night to perfection. Her hand felt small in his as he led her out into the humid night.

                “You do not want to know what I’m thinking now.”

For a moment she wondered if she’d misheard him, when she glanced up at his face he was staring ahead, no hint that he’d turned her to mush with one comment.  It wasn’t until he chuckled that she could break into a smile.

                “I could be awkward...”

He shook his head, “no matter what you say, you are coming back to mine, tomorrow you’ll move in to my suite.” When she made to protest, he lifted a hand to silence her. “I know, we can’t rush things...we’re on holiday. We would never have separate rooms, when we get back to London, we’ll work things out.”

                “How?”

He looked down at her sharp retort, “I told you. The homes I want you to look at...they won’t be ready for a while. Until then, you can have the apartment...I’ll spend SOME nights in the hotel, or New York...after all I have a life going on there too. We’ll work it out. I promise. When we move in together it’ll be because we’re both ready for it, and it’s the only option. OK?” He started to walk, his arm now across her shoulder, her body pulled in to him. “Anyway, London can wait, until we’ve finished this holiday.”

As he opened the door to his suite, she marvelled at the view, she’d not appreciated it fully earlier, moving towards the window she stared out at the calm sea only illuminated by the moon. She could hear Dylan moving around behind her, but she was taking the moment to relax, switch off.

His arm encircled her waist at the moment his lips appeared on the back of her neck, “you ok?”

She nodded, turning in his arms, “this is perfect isn’t it?”

Smiling he swiped his lips over hers, “YOU are perfect.”

They’d talked, they’d fought, and finally they had reached a truce, mutual ground, for the first time in a long time, they both knew what the other wanted, how they felt about each other, and that they didn’t want. As his lips lowered to his, she met him in the middle, parrying his every attack. But this was a delicious battle, and one that Matilda would relish every day of her life if she could.

Her dress seemed designed to fall from her body, just a tug at the shoulder straps divested her of it, and Dylan groaned at the sight of her reflected in the dark glass. Then he scooped her into his arms, carrying her into the bedroom they’d shared the previous night, her hands found the buttons at the front of his shirt, sliding on to his warm skin as he kicked the door shut behind them. Billowy white drapes covered the windows, but a gentle breeze caused them to flutter in a mesmerising way.

Dylan released her legs, letting her slither down his body, and both moaned as their charged bodies connected along the full length. Her lace clad breasts connected with his bare chest, her thigh snuggled between his, and Dylan loomed over her. But nothing was more equal, more perfect and more right.

Within seconds they were both naked, and Dylan surged into her, right there, stood pinned against the drapes, not even making it as far as the bed. It was fast, furious, but what they both needed, and as their pounding bodies recovered, Dylan managed the stagger to the bed, and lowering them both to the mattress, they started round two, another battle in the war they both hoped lasted a lifetime.

How many times it had happened, how many ways they’d expressed their desire for each other, she couldn’t say. But it was both exhaustive, and completing. If she’d had the slightest doubt over Dylan’s seriousness he expelled it there and then with her wrapped around him attentive to every nuance. Now...she ached, but the heat of desire was still there, the man beside her ignited her in a way no one else ever had. Her hand slid across his stomach, and resting a little too low, it elicited a groan from him. Giggling she place a kiss on his shoulder, they both needed sleep.

                “Sorry.”

He grinned, eyes still closed, “don’t ever apologise, just need a rest. Booked a boat to take you out on tomorrow.”

She groaned, “lovely as it sounds I want to spend time here...with you.”

He opened a single eye and turned to look at her, “you little nymph you! For the record, it’ll be just the two of us on the boat, so I’m sure you can have your wicked way with me.” When she grimaced he laughed, “I can assure you it isn’t a simple dinghy.”

She stretched, wriggling alongside him, “but still...”

It was his turn to silence her with a hand to her delectable buttock, “we need to make the most of our time here in paradise...as we’re flying to see your father in five days.”

After All - Part Fifty Two

Chapter Fifty Two

A/N Sorry for the delay, been battling to get this just as I wanted, hope it delivers. 

She looked amazing...but then she always did. Dylan smiled at her, his nerves suddenly evaporated. This is what he wanted to be with her, Matilda, in any way he could. She smiled and his heart lurched in pleasure, excitement.

                “You look amazing,” she breathed.

That made his eyes widen, “that’s MY line...and you do.”

She chuckled, “thanks for the compliment, but I have literally dragged this dress from the bottom of the suitcase...it’s anything but as it should be.” She brushed at the creases with her hands, until he took a hand in his.

                “Come on, let’s hit the town.”

They walked out of the hotel, turning along the street until their destination loomed over them in the distance.

                “In a resort for five minutes and you manage to find the five star restaurant.”

He chuckled, “it’s the one thing I won’t compromise on.”

Their fingers were entwined as he led her along the short walk to the restaurant, and already that feeling was driving him insane. They were met at the entrance and showed to a very private balcony, a table set for two, champagne already in a bucket of ice.

The traditionally clad waiter pulled out her chair, and Matilda was glad of the distance from Dylan, she was constantly having to remind herself that this was a date, that this was him proving how he felt to her. Throwing herself at him wouldn’t help her cause, yet that was exactly what she craved, his attention, his love.

                “I’ve ordered for us...in advance.”

Her eyes popped up to look at him; he wasn’t usually that demanding or controlling. She gave a smile, “is this you puffing out your chest in masculine pride...or proving you know what I’d like?”

He grinned, “you’ll have to wonder about that yourself.”

She watched him as he leaned back in his seat, his eyes never leaving hers, but there was still a tension between them, they never struggled for conversation, but now suddenly nothing flowed smoothly.

As their starters arrived, Matilda cared less about what the meal was, and more about the fact that the atmosphere was becoming more and more tense, their relationship was fragmenting around them. This wasn’t what she wanted, but then, she wasn’t sure what she wanted exactly. Or rather how to make this what she wanted. Suddenly Dylan was holding her at arm’s length, instead of showing her how he felt he was backing off.

A clatter caused her to look up, in time to see Dylan toss his cutlery onto his plate.

                “I can’t do this Matilda.”

She gulped, “do what?” She dreaded the response, he looked pale, sad.

He looked to the ceiling taking a few deep breaths, “this.” He looked back at her, “you want some grand gesture, you want me to prove that I love you, you want us to date, to start a fresh. And I wanted to do that...but it’s not enough. I don’t know how to be what you want. We always were friends, that was always the easy part...and now, now we can’t even talk, I don’t know how to prove anything to you.” He sighed, “I suppose I fail at the first hurdle, maybe you deserve better than me.”

She bit her lip staring at him mutely. Mattie had always felt that she was on the back foot in the relationship, Dylan had always been vivacious, the life and soul. Whilst she wasn’t a hermit or a shrinking violet by any stretch of the imagination, she’d always lived in his shadow, the quieter, more thoughtful one to his extrovert outgoing. She wasn’t used to him being defensive, defeated almost and it stunned her.

Sighing he ran a hand over his eyes, “you deserve the best...but I’m sitting here, and all I can think about is how I want to drag that dress off you and SHOW you how you make me feel...” He shook his head in frustration. “I can’t be this man of gestures, hell I can hardly muster a conversation I feel so...paralysed by how much I want you.”

Matilda felt her body throb in response, was there anything more flattering than a confession like that from a man like him, that came as close to a grand gesture as she could imagine, she’d needed a sign that he felt the way she did, that he was never going to let her down again, no one could ever guarantee that, but the fact that he could barely function for his desire for her...that was enough, wasn’t it?

She opened her mouth to speak, but shaking his head he silenced her. Reaching out to the table adjacent to them, he lifted an envelope.

                “Have this...I need some fresh air.”

With that he disappeared.

She stared at the large envelope for a moment, then the door that had closed behind him. She wanted to see what was in there, but knew that it was his gesture. His attempt to level the playing field, his way of making his feelings for her clear. But did she need that anymore?

The fact that he was so broken, so uncomfortable...had she wanted that? To reduce him to an insecure mess? To take away all his confidence in situation. She immediately knew that wasn’t right, she didn’t want to cause him any hardship, but what she had wanted, what she had needed was to see that he felt the same way that she did, that their past cock-ups had affected him as much as they had her. And the broken face on him as he’d left told her that he did and more.

With another glance at the now redundant envelope, she shook her head with a wry smile. Dropping the knife and fork that she still clutched in her hands, she jumped to her feet, then ran after him, as fast as her sandals would carry her.

He was across the foyer from him making for a large and fortunately empty terrace. The door hadn’t closed behind him when she reached for his arm, the air burning her lungs as se gulped, the run, the adrenaline were all making her breathless.

                “Dylan...wait.”

Dylan’s vision was fuzzy, the breath was tight in his chest, he knew he was blowing things with Matilda and he was drowning slowly and painfully. He heard a voice call his name, but he was struggling for breath. Reaching the rail at the edge of the veranda he clamped hold of it bracing his shoulders, snatching for air, and he had just regained a little composure when a hand connected with his shoulder. He could barely turn for a moment, he’d never felt this desperate. But looking at the fingers curling over his shoulder, he sighed, recognising the delicate traits of Matilda. Moving slowly he turned to look at her, she was everything he needed, her calmness, the serenity that followed her, the small lines that creased when she laughed, the long eyelashes fluttering as she stared at him, there wasn’t an inch of her that he didn’t love, didn’t miss with every inch of his body and being.

                “Dylan,” it was a breath. “Don’t run away.”

He sighed, “fresh air...” the two words were all he could manage for a moment.

                “What is it?”

Giving a non descript hug, he looked down, but her fingers lifted his chin, wouldn’t let him look away, “it hurts doesn’t it?”

That made his eyes widen, “what?”

She laughed, “I thought I wanted some sign, some change that made me realise that you were serious, that you wanted what I want. But I was wrong; whatever is in that envelope...it doesn’t matter. I suddenly realised that what I needed was this...me finally seeing that you find this as hard as I do, that this affects you as it does me. That you are as scared as me about everything.”

                “I’m terrified!” He breathed, “I don’t know what to do.”

She chuckled softly, “welcome to my world!” She took her hands in his and he could barely concentrate, but he forced himself to look at her.

                “I sat all day today wondering how I was going to make this right, and I didn’t know. I can save businesses that are fracturing money left right and centre, I can deal with financial crises, I can manage five thousand members of staff...but I can’t be what you want.” She was grinning inanely, and it was starting to concern him, “what?”

                “That’s exactly it, don’t you see?” She cupped his cheek and smiled, “you control everything, you love in a world where you hold all the answers, and suddenly you don’t know what to do here. That’s what I want, to see that you are feeling way out of your depth like me. Don’t you get that? You’ve always done what you want; I’ve always felt as though I was clinging to your shirt tails, but now, you...this.” She smiled again, “this is you feeling about me, the way I feel about you. I’m scared, I’m worried, but I want it more than anything.”

                “But...” he wasn’t ready for this, was he?

                “You are a risk taker Dylan Wallace; you calculate the odds, work out what you are prepared to lose. But this time, you either lose me...or a part of yourself...and that my darling, is REALLY what life is all about!”

Reaching onto her tiptoes she brushed her lips over hers, then spun on her heel back into the building. He was left in her wake trying to make sense of all that she said, all that he felt. But her last line summed it up properly. He’d run away six years ago because it was easier to disappear, let the divorce happen than stand and fight. He had to fight now, and more than that, show her that he wanted to fight for her.

With a sigh, unsure what the immediate future held, but for the first time uncaring, he followed her, rather rapidly back into the hotel.

Then he came to a grinding halt, Matilda was stood at the table, the envelope open in her hands and her mouth hanging wide open. Hearing him approach, she looked up at him, stunned.

                “You’re giving me the hotel?”

After All - Part Fifty One

Chapter Fifty One

When Dylan stepped back into the lounge the front door was falling closed. He was alone. Sighing he looked back at the breakfast trays laid out, he was starving. Without sitting, he demolished half of the contents, then made for the shower.

Matilda had managed to grab a croissant on her way back to her room, she rued leaving that delicious breakfast behind, but she wasn’t sure how long she’d feel like a goddess...because that’s what she’d felt as she swanned out of the villa leaving him gasping. Now, she was starving and a little frustrated. Despite her insistence that they took things slowly, for a moment, his bare chest had filled her eyes, the pressure of his obvious excitement against her pelvis and she’d wanted to back him into the bedroom and show him exactly how she felt. But that wasn’t sensible. So she’s left.

And now, she was hungry and frustrated. She laughed as she packed the straw bag that she was taking to the beach, sunscreen, her book, money and a towel, then she wrapped her still damp body up into a sarong.

On the beach she spotted a spare sun bed in the shade of a palm tree, then spread out her towel on it. She’d enjoyed a few days in the sun relaxing after a week in Bangkok, which had been more than hectic, and there was no better place to relax than the idyllic beaches on the Thai coast. She’d brought half a dozen books in the airport, and so far had read three; the current one, a thriller was absorbing, within seconds she was on the back streets of London, in the criminal underworld, and holding her breath.

The shadow casting across her warm body, blocking out the sun caused her to jump, and it was accompanied by a warm, deep chuckle. Squinting against the sun, she peered through her sunglasses to see Dylan wearing just a pair of board shorts, looking divine. She couldn’t remember seeing him look so stunning, so casual, so relaxed.

He pulled a sun bed next to her, then waved to one of the waiters who were standing discreetly around the beach area.

He ordered a coffee, then reclined next to her.

Dylan couldn’t help but keep glancing at Matilda. She was stretched out beside him in that damn attractive bikini all warm tanned flesh, and he was struggling to keep a hold on his lecherous libido. Since he’d arrived beside her other than a quick smile she’d been absorbed by her book. He didn’t know what he’d expected, but he hadn’t anticipated her practically ignoring him. He sipped at his coffee and wished he’d brought a book with him, not that he’d read a book in years. In fact it was years since he’d had nothing to do. He wasn’t someone who took time to relax. And his whole mind body were pumping, partly because things weren’t exactly clear with the beautiful woman reclined beside him, and his background worries of all that he’d left behind.

Suddenly there was movement from beside him, Matilda pulled herself to her full height and threw her book and iPod down on to the bed, then moved towards the sea, sashaying as she cut across the sand, striding straight out into the depths, of the idyllic azure sea.  With a slight glance over her shoulder, she smiled before disappearing under a wave.

Was that an invitation? The glance was if the wiggle wasn’t. With a groan of frustration he jumped to his feet he was after her within seconds, as he caught up with her a few metres out from the sand, he stood in front of her, “what was all that arse wiggling when you walked out here? One minute you’re telling me to keep my distance, to take things slowly, then you throw that in my face! I’m only human.”

She chuckled, leaning close to him, lips poised. He sighed, closing his eyes, lowering his lips to meet hers...but nothing happened, instead he both heard and felt a splash a few feet away and opening his eyes, he saw her feet as she disappeared like a water nymph away from him. He could only watch as she disappeared into the swell of the warm sea, arms cutting through the water in long strong strokes.  He’d walked straight into that! Rolling his eyes, he set off in hot pursuit.

They both swam seriously eating up the water as they moved along, parallel to the shore. The beach wasn’t deserted, but it wasn’t busy either, and when they finally waded into the shallows, Matilda pulled herself to her feet, wiping the salt water from her face, squeezing her hair.

                “So that was funny was it?”

He asked as he pulled himself up next to her, for a moment she was floored by how amazing he looked, water coursing off his toned body, stubble gathering on his chin, twinkle in his hooded eyes. But she wanted him to prove his love, it was so important that they took things steady, and she wasn’t about to give in to the temptation of this man. Not yet.  

                “What?” She asked innocently, and as he lifted his eyebrow, she turned with a giggle and started the stroll back through the channel. As she looked around appreciating the beauty of the view, a large hand linked into hers. The contact made her heart skip a beat, and as she looked up at him, he grinned awkwardly.

                “Is this allowed?”

She nodded, “I think so.”

She took a few steps and looked up at him, “how did the Marshall Taylor conference go?”

Dylan stopped and stared at her, “really? We are in a foreign paradise; I have told you I was wrong, professed my undying love for you...and YOU? You want to talk about work?”

She giggled, “I was worried about what I left behind.”

                “Like I told you, everyone is in your fan club, it happened without fault, and if there had been a problem, then it would have landed very firmly at my door. Ok?”

She grinned, “good!” She paused for a moment, then looked up at him again, “how long are you here for?”

He laughed, “a week, two...how long do I need?”

She pondered that for a moment deliberately, “that all depends.”

Dylan groaned he now knew this was her tactic, to frustrate him and it was working. The only solution was to create an environment where she couldn’t avoid him, and more importantly couldn’t evade the talk she so desperately wanted. He entertained her general conversation, smiled appropriately, but when they got back to the sun beds they’d left, Matilda made a great demonstration of lying down, reaching for her book. Dylan stood at the end of the bed and smiled.

                “I’ve got some work to do. I’ll pick you up at seven. Dress for dinner.”

Then with a mock bow, he disappeared.

Matilda watched him walk away and wondered what he was thinking. She wanted some sort of grand gesture, some sign that he wanted this as much as her. She’d gone easy on him earlier, he looked as devastated by everything that had happened as she did, but she needed something...a sign...a hint that he was ready to change, ready to take her on. Now as he moved away he was either fed up that things weren’t as simple as easy as they way he lived his life, or he was digesting her forced distance.

And she didn’t know which...that was half the problem.

She tried to read her book, but her mind was suddenly preoccupied, with everything else. Dylan would quite easily move her lock stock and barrel back into his bedroom, his life, and to him it was that easy. But it wasn’t for her. But what did she want?

She wanted time, she wanted talks, she wanted to be able to know exactly what he was thinking when he walked away from her. If he was about to dedicate his future to her, then she wanted to know him inside out. The man she married eight years earlier was a naive boy, the man who faced her now was just that, a confident successful man, his body had evolved, his mind was different, everything about him was new. And that was the issue; she needed to know him all over again.

And he needed to know her too. She had changed, she’d found anger, scepticism, fear...and loneliness and none of that came easily, and none of it came without changing the fundamentals of the person she was. She knew that she saw the world differently. When Dylan had swept her off her feet she’d been innocent, honest, and naive herself. Now? She was none of those things.

But you want still him!

The voice inside her made a statement, not a question, because she DID want him, she wanted him more than anything. But she had some terms that she wanted him to meet, she just had to figure out what they were, or they’d both circle around each other never making a decision or a step forward.

Dress for dinner he said. She stared at the wardrobe. She’d packed for a trip to her father, that would be casual and fun...since then she’d only added sarongs and loose fisherman pants to her wardrobe, she had nothing that maybe Dylan would deem suitable for dinner, he wasn’t one for doing things by half...she’d asked for a grand gesture, and she’d get it. He wouldn’t fail on that front.

One dress was all she had with her, so she pulled it out, and glared at it, a summery dress, strappy with a loose floaty skirt looked great...IF it hadn’t been rammed in the bottom of a suitcase for two weeks. Hanging it on the back of the bathroom door, she jumped in the shower, hoping that the steam might help iron out some of the creases. But she was warm from a day in the sun, the last thing she needed was more heat.

But moisturised, hair dried and straightened in to some semblance of a style and she felt better. The dress was serviceable, but she prayed he hadn’t planned anything TOO exotic; she would look out of place. She hadn’t warn make up for weeks, and wasn’t ready to start tonight, so she used a little mascara, that was all.

He was early. She had barely slid her feet into her sandals and there was a knock at the door.

Dylan held his breath. Everything that mattered seemed to be mounted up in the next few hours. He’d blown things repeatedly to date. Could he possibly get things right tonight? He’d spent hours on the phone and emailing Brandy, when things went wrong she was the only one he could trust, and her frantic internet searches and phone calls had made it a little easier to deal with. In the end he’d taken her advice to the letter and had booked them into the best restaurant in town, one of the lounges at the huge Hilton resort. Dinner on his veranda would have been far more in keeping with what he wanted, but he also knew there was a high chance of him either pouncing on her, or exploding...both would blow any chance he had.

Instead he was stood at her door in linen trousers and a pale blue summer shirt, hoping that the heat would ease as his decision to “dress for dinner” was looking like being a hot option.

As he knocked the door, he wondered if she was as nervous as he was.