Nothing Left to Lose - Part Four

Chapter Four

                “Hey!” Her mother was again pruning her roses when Heidi strode up the driveway and into the garden. “How was the beach?”

Heidi nodded, “beautiful. I loved it. Definitely washed the London cobwebs away!”

Her mother smiled, “good. You did look a little stressed. You feeling better now?”

Smiling, she lowered herself to the nearby bench and smiled at her mother, “it’s a busy time of the year! Being away has been like a break; I’m just praying that it doesn’t all fall apart without me,”

                “All the more reason why you should’ve waited and come out when it was more convenient!” She laughed at her daughter’s expression, “ah, it was Lucas that couldn’t wait that long, hey? Well, I won’t say it hasn’t been a wonderful surprise!”

Heidi groaned at the realisation that her brother still hadn’t called her back. Concern? Nah, he just wanted to something to happen that would appease his guilt...and as usual she’d stepped into that role.

Instead of breaking her mother’s rose tilted bubble, she merely nodded, “you know what he’s like!”

Barbara smiled, “I know that he probably talked you into coming here, that he couldn’t disrupt his ‘busy’ life, but expected you to!”

When Heidi shrugged she offered, “I know he bosses me around...”

Shaking her head her mother disagreed, “he bullies you Heidi, he always has. I know he’s been indulged a lot when he was young, so ultimately it’s my and your father’s fault, but you need to stand up to him more Heidi, you really do.”

She nodded, “he is a rather controlling influence it must be said! But I did want to come and see you, and I am happy that you’ve found Cesare.”

                “You don’t think it’s too soon?”

Heidi shrugged, before she left London she had thought it was DEFINITELY too soon, but meeting Cesare, hearing him speak, they were perfect for each other, they were going in to this with eyes open. How could she resent her mother happiness? Companionship? She knew that her father would be happy, knowing that someone loved her and cared for her.

                “No. I don’t. I think he’s perfect for you.”

Her mother smiled genuinely, then started to gush as she explained the plans for the forthcoming evening with the two Greek men.

Her mother had told her that the almost ironically named Aphrodite Palais was a new plush hotel that had become the talk of the island. Themed in the manner of a Greek paradise, the place was dedicated to the beautiful, perfect woman who according to legend appeared one day out of the surf not far from the resort they were in. Her son was Eros, the God of Love, and as they walked into the reception, Heidi was agog; the whole place was like an opulent romantic dream. Walls billowed with fabrics in red, white and gold, leather sofa’s adorned the lounge, heavy ornate gold tables and glass cabinets gave the room an ethereal feel. It was a romantic place, somewhere that made her think of love, and happiness and passion.

Heidi loved it.

Until she spotted Cosmo stood at the bar with Cesare, his face animated by a hearty laugh, she felt the combination of lust, and disappointment hit her like a sledge hammer. This evening was going to be extremely difficult. Maybe she should leave? Plead a headache, an illness; get away from the temptation of that man. She feared being in his company because he made her feel a way she wasn’t used to, and she had a feeling he was taking pleasure from goading her, from watching how far he could push her. And she was terrified of making a fool of herself.

She looked down at her mother’s beaming face and knew she couldn’t do it to her. So she took a deep breath and headed into the bustling reception.

As she approached she spotted Cosmo turn and admire her as she led her mother through the maze of chairs and tables to the two men. She’d dressed in another of her own creations, a strappy floral dress fitted to the waist, then flowing down to just above her knees, it was modelled on a 1950’s beach dress, and the co-ordinated scarf at her neck, large dark shades and scooped up hair only added to the look.

Cosmo had sensed her arrive, he’d known the very second that Heidi had stepped into the room. But Cesare was talking and he couldn’t turn and gawp until the older man did the same. When he looked up, he’d never seen anything as transcendent as the vision of Heidi sashaying her hips as she glided through the lounge towards them. She was unlike anyone he’d ever met before; he had a history of leggy blondes with slim supermodel figures, even before he married Eleni, who was of the same ilk. But here was this dark, curvaceous, quirky girl making him question his marriage vows.  Today she was even more beautiful than the last time he’d seen her on the beach, shy and off guard. Now, dressed like Hepburn, but with the figure of Monroe and the confidence of them both combined... the effect was devastating.

Cesare reached for Barbara and pulled her into a hug, which left him with Heidi. He exhaled TOO loudly in wonder, and said, “Roman Holiday was one of my favourite films!”

For a moment Heidi wondered if she’d misheard his comment, but when she looked at him, she could see him staring at her in a wondrous way, she couldn’t help but beam at his perception, at him picking up on the vibe of her appearance, and then there was the appreciative glance which managed to not seem inappropriate or pervy even though it really was both.

Was there anything negative about this man? She almost wondered aloud, before his subconscious gave her the kick up the arse she needed with a resounding...His wife! She immediately reined in her emotions and stepped a little further away from him.

Cesare chuckled as she removed her sunglasses and gave a nod of acknowledgement to both men, “I think that to compare you to Ms Hepburn is an injustice, she was beautiful, but you look radiant darling! You think so Cosmo?”

Whilst Cosmo nodded and gave her a look that compared to the previous ‘safe’ one, seemed to strip her to the bone, she tried to retain her composure, turning to Cesare she smiled politely, “Oh no, that is the greatest compliment. She was a true diva, in the original sense of the word, beautiful, successful, timeless and with THE best fashion taste of her era!”

Cesare laughed his eyes widening at her enthusiasm, “I sense we’ve hit on your passion!”

Barbara leaned closer and whispered to him, “I’m more of a Gregory Peck fan myself, but Heidi always did love the clothes and the shoes than the good looking men in those wonderful films!”

Heidi raised her eyebrows, “I swooned over Cary Grant and Rock Hudson like the best of them, but the fashions were stunning too, I just appreciate a beautiful creation. What’s wrong with that?”

                “Absolutely nothing!” Cosmo added his voice warm and very suggestive as he continued to caress her with his smooth chocolate eyes. “That is EXACTLY the Greek outlook on life! Look around,” he gestured to the room, “this whole hotel is modelled on a surreal goddess who was the most beautiful, elegant creature to grace the world.” He smiled at her again, “no, Cesare will agree, as Greeks we spend our lives appreciating beautiful creations in their many forms.”

Heidi lifted her eyes to meet his gaze and instantly regretted it; the man literally oozed sex appeal.

                “Let’s eat!” he announced sensing her tension, then led the others into the dining room.

The conversation was light and easy in the opulent restaurant, but she was careful to avoid Cosmo’s open gaze as they ate, it was made easier as he was sat alongside her, until he moved an arm and brushed against her side. Fighting a shudder, she continued with her food, but suddenly needed all her energy to keep things under control; she could barely focus and keep up with the conversation. So she allowed things to pass over her, blaming her distance on the fact she was dazzled by her food. That seemed to keep her mother happy.

As the meal came to an end, she noticed her mother starting to look cosy with Cesare, and then he dropped the bombshell.

                “Why don’t you young ones go out and see the town? Barbara and I are too old, and the last thing you youngsters want is to sit around here with us old people, the night is young. You should have fun.”

Heidi opened her mouth to protest when a hand rested on her thigh and she couldn’t function. Heat and lust pummelled her body and any objection was frozen in her throat.

                “Cesare, of course, that is a great idea, Barbara, I will look after her! We can wander down to the bars, and I’ll get her home before it’s too late!”

She wanted to shout out “NO!” to her mother, but as the older couple stood, smiling, then left the table she just became more and more aware of Cosmo’s presence.

Paying the bill, he chatted to the waiter in what she felt must be Greek for a few moments, before moving to the back of her chair and pulling it out as she stood.

“Come on; let me show you what the quieter part of this island has to offer.”

He led her along the seafront to a busy bar where people spilled out on to the street drinking, singing and generally having a good time, but these weren’t tourists, most seemed local, all conversing in a multitude of languages. It was noisy as they approached the first bar, and he Cosmo gestured to the bar. She nodded, and waited outside, propped against a wall that was almost completely covered in red, scented bougainvillea. As she inhaled the heady aroma, wanting to remember the smell for the rest of her life, she spotted him emerge from the doorway carrying two bottles of beer.

Cosmo smiled, handing her a bottle of beer, then he rested his shoulder against the wall beside her. He felt like a teenage boy, full of excitement and testosterone, and he had no idea how to deal with this, with her. He should walk away, go back to the safety of the hotel, but he couldn’t. His head was filled with the sight of her long slender neck, her elegant long fingers, her shapely ankles. God he didn’t need to look at her beautifully and ample curves to feel excited. He wriggled awkwardly trying to appease the sudden tension and lack of room south of his belt, and sought out neutral conversation to get his morals to win over his treacherous libido.

Heidi sipped from the bottle nervously, still not completely comfortable alone in his company. But by the time she got to the bottom of the second bottle, they were both laughing. Cosmo was as funny and charming as he was staggeringly attractive. An enviable combination, and despite the flirtations of other women around the bar, he truly did only have time for Heidi. She was the sole object of his attention, and it was extremely arousing. She had to KEEP constantly reminding herself that he was just a charming man, he’d treat any other woman the same way, and he was married. 

                “Tell me about Lucas.”

Heidi sighed and looked up at the star filled sky, “he’s a journalist, always jetting off somewhere. He’s a nice guy, but he always gets what he wants.”

That intrigued Cosmo, “what do you mean?”

Taking a drink she thought for a moment, “he has women throwing themselves at him on a constant basis, my parents always indulged him, he is and always has been the golden child.” She looked up into Cosmo’s eyes and half smiled, his interest and the alcohol making her freer with the truth than she’s like. “Even II always do what he wants. I don’t know why.”

He shook his head slowly, trying to contain the ridiculous amount of anger he felt at anyone abusing her trust and honesty, “sounds like a charmer!”

She shrugged, “he’s cool. You’ll like him, he’s just persuasive I suppose. I mean, I am slap bang in the middle of the busiest week in my schedule for months, but I’ve ended up here checking on my mother. He’s ‘not good at these things’!”

                “Which just means that he can’t be bothered?”

She shrugged, “I just humour him!”

An uncomfortable silence passed between them, for a moment, then he offered, “I’m enjoying spending time with you, so I should maybe thank him this one time?”

She giggled at that, which was a better response than blushing profusely.

                “So,” he was looking down at her and smiling and Heidi was feeling tipsy, she needed conversation to break the tension she felt. “Tell me about your family Cosmo, it only seems fair, you’ve met my mother, heard all about my brother!”

He chuckled, “I was born in Athens, which is a VERY busy City. My father died when I was ten, my mother then moved us to Rhodes, me and my younger sister Katia. She worked as a house keeper for a rich British man. It was Edward her employer who paid for me to go to University. He is the most honest and generous man I’ve ever met.”

Heidi cocked her head to the side and stared at him for a long moment, “do you see much of your mother and sister?”

He shrugged, “Katia is only twenty, and in college in France, so if I’m ever over there we meet. My mother married Edward ten years ago, but they were both killed in a car accident five years ago.”

                “I’m SO sorry!” She gasped, her hand flying to her mouth.

Smiling softly he slugged at his drink, “don’t be, it was sad, but these things happen. She was a great mother, and Edward made her very happy. We had our greatest years with him. I took over Edward’s affairs when he died, he had a small shipping business, and to be honest it was floundering. But I struck lucky, that’s how I managed to merge with Cesare, once I’d built things up to a reasonable size.”

She took a long slow drink, still studying him, “so you basically revived a dying business and made a fortune? Is there anything you can’t do?”

He returned her look, studying her for an age, and she suddenly realised the innuendo she’d created, “there are a lot of things I SHOULDN’T do, but maybe very little I can’t do?”

She swooned, in exactly the same way she imagined a fifties’ film star would, her knees felt weak, her head cloudy, her heart raced as she thought of exactly the things she wished he would do!

He chuckled, “I love how honestly you react! I can read you like a book.”

Cosmo watched as she got even pinker in the cheeks, if that was possible. He loved her frankness, her openness. From someone who was married to a conniving attention seeker, he found the whole thing refreshing, special.

                “What do you mean?” she asked quietly.

He grinned, “I don’t mean it in a bad way. It’s just amazing seeing someone laugh, blush, gasp, frown – you don’t hide your reaction to things.” He sighed, “my life is filled with people who think before they speak or act. You are refreshing Heidi, really you are.”

                “I’m no actress you mean!” she laughed, “that’s me! I can never get away with anything.”

He reached out and tucked a stray curl behind her ear, wanting this evening to last forever, he loved her eagerness, her unique view on life, yes she was definitely different to Eleni.....he fought to push his wife from his mind, focussing once again on Heidi, “it’s a beautiful trait Heidi don’t ever change!”

In true to form fashion, she took a step back, shocked, stunned and a little embarrassed. He could see her step back, distance herself from the effect he was having on her, he knew she was attracted to him, and the feeling was more than mutual.

                “I’m going to paddle in the sea. Want to cool down my feet. I’ll maybe you tomorrow Cosmo?”

As she turned on her rather wobbly heel, he ran after her. “Do you think I’m going to just let you walk over there on your own?”

She shrugged, “going! Don’t care.”

Laughing he jogged after her, watching as she kicked off her beautiful heeled sandals, then scooping to retrieve them from the sand. By the time she was knee deep in the water; he had his trousers rolled up and his shoes and socks off, and was wading in after her.

                “Heidi! Be careful!” He warned as he took long strides in her direction.

She was striding through the deepening yet extremely calm water trying to put some distance between them when she lost her footing. Taking a deep breath and anticipating cool water closing over her head as she fell she closed her eyes, only to feel herself being dragged in the opposite direction, to land plastered up against Cosmo’s chest, his strong arms wrapped around her.

She looked up, his elegant cheek bones and dark eyes were lit up by the moonlight and with a sigh, she sank into him. Despite the darkness, her eyes were mesmerised by his, as he studied her, the warmth, the interest, and what she knew was desire. Raw, unadulterated desire that made her body thrum with anticipation, with her own desire. She was so absorbed with her own feelings, and the affect on him, that she was completely unaware as he started to move his head down to hers.

                “Oh Heidi,” he breathed against her cheek, and the last ounce of her resolve ended there. His fingers lifted her jaw, and despite feeling it happen, she was still startled when his lips touched hers, she was overwhelmed with a multitude of sensations. His lips were warm, soft yet firm, brushing over hers, trying to tease them apart, his wet tongue flicking at her them. With a sigh, she felt her lips reciprocate, move with his, duel for dominance, then part allowing him access to her mouth, to find her tongue with his, to tease it, then he was nibbling, suckling her bottom lip, his hands pulling her closer to him.

Groaning into his mouth, she felt her heart race; her chest tight, the need to touch him was unbearable, so she dragged his shirt free of his trousers and slid her hands onto his smooth warm skin, and it was perfect.

She hadn’t felt this way in so long. She’d NEVER felt this way. At the back of her mind a small voice tried to shout out that this was wrong. He was married; to her soon to be sister-in-law, but the desire and the passion won, and her tongue invaded his mouth as her hands ran up his back.

It was his turn to moan, the pressure and manipulation of his lips increasing as his arms secured her close to him. She could feel his erection firm against her lower tummy, and the butterflies there became rollercoaster style surges as he traced kisses over her cheek, jaw, then down to her neck, a hand lowered to her buttocks, the other sliding up her ribcage to rest just below her breast.

Suddenly she pulled away; she was mid calf deep in the cool ocean, entwined around a married man. Stepping back she shook her head, “this is wrong Cosmo!”

As Cosmo watched her move away from him, he came after her, she was right, this was wrong, but he had no control over anything. He’d never felt like this, never. “I don’t know myself around you!”

                “You’re MARRIED! How final do things have to be?” She was shaking her head, muttering, “so wrong...”

He reached for her hand and tried to restrain her, “you’ve never met Eleni...if you had you’d know...”

                “Know what? That she’s the perfect woman. This isn’t her fault. You can’t blame it on her.”

Sighing he squeezed her hand, “I’m not blaming it on her, I’m just saying...things aren‘t as simple as that.”

She shook her head, lifting her chin defiantly, “is this just some great joke? Are you laughing at the plain little English girl who’s making a fool of herself? Do you get off on this?”

He shook his head, “I am not laughing at you, and you are anything but plain Heidi. You are beautiful, and I can’t control myself around you. I promise.”

Cosmo reached out for her again, but Heidi side stepped it. His words were flattering, and it was so tempting to drop everything including her conscience and morals and give in to her feelings. But he was married, he was taken. This was against everything she believed in, she’d learned that married men were taken in the most cruel of ways; she wasn’t able to open herself to hurt, not again. As if there was any doubt, she kept seeing her mother, happy for the first time in ages, this would devastate her, it could ruin everything, was there anything lower than having an affair with a married man? She’d sworn that she’d never do that to another woman. Never be part of adultery.

Shaking her hands free she turned and ran, ignoring her shoes, still sat on the sand next to hers, she headed to the road and into the first taxi she saw, without as much as a backwards glance.

Nothing Left To Lose - Part Three

Chapter Three

Heidi hated it, sitting beside a man who was turning her insides to mush, whilst at the same time reminding her that he was married to her soon to be step-sister with every conversation. Not that he was harping on about how beautiful or special his wife was, but by the very nature that Eleni’s father was at the table with them made the connection so blatantly bloody obvious, and he was obviously the doting and very proud father.

It meant that the rest of the meal was difficult, but Heidi forced herself to be social, to laugh at the inane jokes, smile at the continued affection between Cesare and her mother and manage the attraction she felt towards this handsome stranger.

She waived dessert, watching the others devour creations of cream, fruit and chocolate. She struggled to stay on the right side of a size twelve at the best of times, plus her dress was very fitted and about to become uncomfortable, it needed no real help to feel too small. Instead she sipped at her wine. Then they all had espresso.

Walking out onto the street, Cesare turned to her, “let’s all take a walk along the front. Cosmo and I are staying at a hotel the other end of the promenade. We could have a drink in the bar there, then get you ladies a taxi home?”

As Barbara nodded enthusiastically sliding her arm into the crook of his elbow, Heidi groaned. More time together, Heidi feared her fragile psyche was about to blow.

But her discord was witnessed by Cosmo who raised an eyebrow in question. But she rolled her eyes, shook her head, then headed off after the older two. Hearing him laugh, she was less than happy to feel him drop into stride beside her.

 “So tell me about your work.”

She glanced up at him and saw his interest was genuine. Shrugging, she didn’t break her stride as she offered. “I’m a designer...” when she saw his blank expression she smiled, “fashion! I create clothes, I have a budget fashion range in the biggest supermarket chain in Britain.”

Cosmo chuckled, a hearty sound, “I should have realised, that dress you are wearing is stunning!” She basked in his attention for a moment as he paused to look her up and down. “One of you own creations?”

“It is.”

The dress was simple in design, but was cut unusually so that instead of being straight, it hung in various pleats and was almost confusing to the eye. “The pattern on the fabric is the Tube network in London.” She added when he finally returned his gaze to hers.

Laughing he stooped to look at a small area just below one of her breasts, then touching her he exclaimed, “I knew it! Regents Park! That’s where the company apartment is....” he looked up at her with a wicked gleam in his eye, “how ironic!”

With a gulp, she tried to fight the anxiety, apprehension, “Cosmo please.”

Dropping his hand, he sighed, “you’re right, it’s wrong for me to be so flirtatious with you. I apologise!”

Ignoring the pounding of her heart, the electricity raging from her fingers touching his arm, she murmured, “good!”

The rest of the walk was in silence, and as they reached the hotel, the atmosphere could be cut with a knife. All too soon, she expressed her fatigue, and Heidi and her mother excused themselves, leaving for her villa after a single drink.

But being away from him didn’t make it any easier for Heidi, as the warm searching eyes seemed to occupy her mind every time she closed her eyes. But being awake was no easier. So she barely slept, Cosmo filled the few dreams she had, and the conflict at the way he’d made her feel, whilst being married to her soon to be step-sister!

No surprise she rose early; and thought about a day shopping with her mother...or another day at the beach. But in the kitchen she spotted a note from her mother.

                “Gone for an early walk as it’s such a beautiful day,

                  Will catch up with you at lunch time?

                                Mum X”

Her mother never ‘walked’, Heidi had a feeling that, like a teenager she’d snuck out for a night of passion with her lover. Smiling to herself she picked up her phone and called Lucas. He answered after a few rings, a muffled voice that sounded as though he was buried under a duvet.

                “Hey?” It was a croak.

                “Lucas! What’s with the hoarse voice?”

                “Heidi, you would not BELIEVE what happened! Last night...Shit! I’ve got to escape!”

Heidi was laughing, this was a typical Lucas conversation, she’d spent the last ten years pulling him out of dubious female related situations, or acting as a deterrent for the more determined acquaintance. “I can both believe and actually have a good guess at exactly what happened. Look get out of there, and call me back! I want to update you on Mum and out soon-to-be-stepdad. Ok?”

The click of the phone was his answer.

She grabbed a coffee, and then packed a bag for the beach. She may as well get a tan whilst she was at a loose end! So once again she headed for the beach. She had so much work pending, but with her book and good music on her iPod she again settled on a lounger in the sun and watched the world go by. By mid morning it was warm, so she headed into the sea again. After a short swim, she decided to stroll along the shore, knee deep in the warm sea. The beach had been quiet when she arrived, but it was filling rapidly, so she found herself passing many tourists. The sun kissed her shoulders and she needed a hand to shade her eyes from the brightness of the day. Heading back to her sun bed, she ran a hand through her hair and groaned. It was matted with salt and sand. She must look shocking.

Remembering the showers at the back of the sand, she headed there to wash the salt from her skin and hair. She was stood trying not to shudder as she let the icy cold water sluice over her face and sun kissed body, combing her hair with her fingers when she heard something that sounded like her name. Shaking her head out of the jet, she wiped the water from her face, and wrung out her hair as she searched for the source of the voice. Then she was hit with a bolt of what could only be anxiety as she spotted Cosmo, running across the sand from the road, bare-chested in just a pair of football shorts and trainers, his body sheened with perspiration, his hair hanging damp around his ears.

She felt suddenly breathless, aware of the gooseflesh covering her skin, she would blame it on the cold water that had truly doused her, but in truth it was the mixture of anticipation...and lust at seeing him that set her body on edge, as well as mortification. She was wearing a bikini...there was no hiding.

All she could do was watch as he trotted across the road to her.

                “Hey Heidi, I thought it was you!”

She loved the way he said her name, Hiii-deeee. It was almost musical.

                “Kalimera.” She offered, her knowledge of Greek extended to a good morning greeting but not much more. He grinned then inclined his head, “very good Miss Mortimer, very good.”

When he got closer he stood and smiled at her, looking her up and down for a moment, then he kicked off his trainers tossed his wallet into on shoe, then dived under the same shower head, smiling.

                “You made it look so appetising!” he offered as he spotted her wide eyed stare. Laughing he shook his head under the jet, cold water flicking off his long hair in a spray, like a rather erotic dream.

She stepped back onto the sand awkwardly, waiting for him to finish as she added, “it’s so nice in the sun. I love the sea, but the salt kills my hair.”

Shaking his head, he stepped out of the water, rivers still cascading over his body, his thin shorts clinging to his thighs, the dark hair across his chest that narrowed down to his chest was sworled into patterns by the water, droplets clung to his eyelashes. If she thought he was beautiful in a suit, dressed impeccably, like this he was staggering, the personification of desire, sexual attraction and perfection.

                “Do you run a lot?” she tried to diffuse the tension with inane conversation.

He followed her back over the sand, and took the sun bed next to him, “When we’re away from home it’s the easiest thing to do, not all the hotels have gyms.”

She nodded as she lowered herself down to the sun bed, trying to hold in her stomach as her body folded to the low seat. Uncaring, and maybe unaware Cosmo’s eyes surveyed the beach before he spotted an empty bed and jogged across the sand to drag it to a position next to her.

Heidi smiled awkwardly, she was tempted to pull on her t-shirt, but that would look ridiculous, especially when he collapsed onto the bed, stretched out next to her. She couldn’t help being aware of him, all tanned and muscular, and bloody horny. And that made her even more self conscious. She’d never been slim, and she thought of the comparison or lack of to his model wife Eleni. She glanced down at herself, she had long shapely legs, but they were her best feature by miles, her hips were wider than she’d like, and her stomach was slightly rounded, and her breasts were too large for her frame. Fortunately she had on another good bikini - decent size briefs, and a very supportive top.  

Hell he was married anyway, what impact she’d have on such a man was negligible. This was all about her, not about him.

Cosmo wished he had sunglasses, as he was so tempted to turn and stare at the woman beside him, since she’d rushed off last night; she’d been in his thoughts...the only thing in his thoughts. She sighed and he glanced over, then suddenly realised that he couldn’t look at her, not here...there was no way he could disguise his body and it’s reaction to her luscious curves, instead he leaned back against the sun bed and closed his eyes. Safe.

He was a grown man; he had to get over his teenage lust, though he couldn’t remember having such a strong reaction to a woman before...ever.

                “You like it here?” he asked still keeping his eyes closed.

                “It’s so beautiful in this part of the world.”

He sighed, “I suppose I forget how lucky I am to live in this part of the Mediterranean, here and Greece...I am very lucky.”

She laughed and he turned his head to watch her as she replied, “Britain is so gloomy, all the time. Dark, damp...even the summers aren’t great.” She looked up to the sky and he loved the look of pleasure on his face, “and there’s something so liberating about the beach, the sea, the sun...”

He rolled to sit up and face her once more, “it’s a well known fact that the sun affects mood, and health, and also libido!”

She blushed, and it made him want to reach out and kiss her, he realised he didn’t need to admire her curves, her delectable body, because he was entranced by her lips, her full delicious lips, once again he checked himself, ogling her, flirting...he had to stop that. But she was temptation personified.

“It makes me happy, I know that much!” She offered quietly.

Silence once again returned and it was pleasurable now that she’d recovered from Cosmo’s hint at innuendo. She didn’t know how she felt about him flirting, especially as she found him so attractive. Was he laughing at her? Was he saying that he liked her? Heidi had never been very good with men and relationships and this was way beyond the safe zone she deliberately lived in. He was laughing at her, that was all that she could imagine, that he’d go home, call his beautiful wife and laugh at how he’d made the wondrous Eleni’s new step sister blush.

Heidi glanced across at Cosmo who was propped back on his arms, body turned up to the sun, eyes closed. There was no reason to think that he had any other motive.

A motorboat cruised across the horizon, cutting through the azure millpond sea and she craned a little to watch its course. That was true freedom, a boat and no agenda. So far from her own overly structured life. With a groan she reached for her bag and her phone. Yup, fourteen emails from work associates since she’d been on the sand. Did she deal with things now? Could they wait until she got back to her mother’s home? There was a huge launch approaching, but then Polly would call if she needed anything that desperately. Pocketing her phone, she glanced up at the movement beside her.

Cosmo had sat up; he smiled then jumped to his feet, before jogging to the back of the beach to a small kiosk. He came back in a few moments with two small bottles of cold water.

Sitting up, she took one gratefully and guzzled half of it, unaware of just how thirsty she was. But then the man opposite was giving her a dry throat, that was without the effects of the sun, the sand and the sea. But suddenly she spluttered, a single drop of condensation had run down the bottle and onto her jaw, but it wasn’t that that made had jump to her feet, but him reaching out and touching her. As his finger swept across her skin swiping at the offending drop of water, she froze; suddenly all she could see was him, all she could feel was him. The bustle of the beach had lowered to a murmur. She sat glaring at him, his dark eyes watching her intently, her body throbbing in response to the simple yet erotic touch.

                “Sorry,” he breathed not removing his finger, his eyes searching hers. She’d never felt this attracted to anyone; the electricity between them was almost palpable, her heart raced, she was almost panting with lust.  

                “Cosmo, please don’t do this.”

She couldn’t believe that something as subtle as his finger on her chin was arousing her the way it was, and she knew as she looked at him that he was feeling something similar. He looked shocked.

                “Oh Heidi,” her name was a gasp on his lips. “I am sorry, this is not proper behaviour.” His thumb and remaining fingers were now cupping her chin, holding her still. “But...”

She shook herself free, “you’re married. There are no buts.”

Sitting back on her lounger, she watched him, his face was flushed and he looked sad.

                “I apologise, this is not the behaviour of a gentleman...” he half smiled.

She reached for her bag, barely able to function, her body and mind were betraying her sensible thought, she needed to escape. Quick before she made a fool of herself. Because that was what was happening. “I think maybe I should leave, I...”

Cosmo held up his hand, “this is my fault Heidi. I will leave you to enjoy the summer day, I don’t want there to be difficulties later.”

                “Later?” she asked confused.

He smiled, “yes, your mother and my father-in-law are taking us for dinner.” He lowered his head in a gesture of goodbye, then turned away from her, but not before he added, “I look forward to seeing you then.”

As she watched him stride across the sand, his running shoes in his hand, she groaned, just what she needed, another torturous evening with that damned sexy man. 

Nothing Left to Lose - Part Two

Chapter Two

Despite sitting and talking to her mother into the early hours, Heidi still woke early the next morning, which she was glad about. After all, she was in a warm sun kissed paradise for a very short amount of time. Jumping up, she showered, then packed a bag for the beach. It was silent in the house as she made her way downstairs, and again Heidi was glad about that. She appreciated the chance to put some distance, some space between her and her mother or rather her intricate love life. Taking a bottle of water from the fridge, she called a taxi and left.

The closest beach was as long and as white as the beach of her memories. She stopped the cab as soon as she could see the sea, then strolled along the front enjoying the sights and sounds that confronted her. At a small booth she bought a grilled sandwich and a coffee, then carried on her route to the sand. She didn’t stop until she saw a perfectly positioned sun bed, just under a shade, equidistant between the road and the sea. It was still early, but already the tourists were flocking to the beach in droves. So she headed towards it, and settled to enjoy the warmth and the peace and quiet of the location, and to read her book. She was determined not to get embroiled in work today. This was her chance to relax. She pulled off her t-shirt and shorts and reclined in her new bikini. Not the most body confident, a designer working in a world of glamorous models was enough to make her conscious of her excess weight and curves. But no one knew her there, so she relaxed and lounged back.

Her phone buzzed after she’d been there an hour. She wasn’t going to check it, but when she glanced down she saw a message from Sadie her best mate.

                “Enjoying the sunshine girlfriend? Dying to hear all about your mother’s Lothario. Call me when you get chance?”

The message made her laugh, was there anyone as perfect as a best friend for knowing JUST what to say at the right time? She pocketed the phone after a quick response “Of course. Tonight, xxx”. Half of her had hoped that it was an apology from Casey; she’d spent part of the previous evening trying to explain her relationship with him to her mother. Badly. He’d stormed out and not even called or texted since. And it hadn’t really bothered her. Her mother had asked her if she loved him. No. Did her heart surge when he walked in the room? When her mother had asked that she’d looked at her in surprise, that had seen her mother’s face drop. Was it that bad?

Leaning back on the lounger she closed her eyes, she didn’t believe her heart would ever pound at the sight of a man, but she could accept there was no spark in her tryst with Casey.

It was wonderful to feel the sun kissing her skin, and even more the sand running through her toes. Whenever Heidi was at home, she forgot how beautiful it was to be close to beautiful beaches and warm seas. Today, this was her time. So she once again switched off, to home, to work...and to Casey.

As lunchtime approached she strolled into the sea to cool off. The sea here was shallow for as far as she could see, and she loved the warm water flowing around her ankles and calves. She was reapplying sunscreen when she spotted her mother approaching a bar on the fringe of the sand.

Pulling an aqua coloured sarong around her waist, she strolled across the beach to meet her.

                “Cesare is coming later; he called me an hour ago.” Barbara Mortimer, the epitome of glamour, was perched on a high stool at the wooden bar in a bright kaftan and wide legged white linen trousers. She’d removed the large straw sunhat, but the dark sunshades still covered her eyes.

Heidi nodded, pulling up a seat next to her, “I’m looking forward to meeting him. I need to know if he’s good enough for you!”

Barbara laughed, “Talk about role reversal!” She had a glass of some sparkling drink in front of her and sipped it through the straw. “I always did think that I’d be planning your or Lucas’ wedding by now, rather than my own...I’m starting to doubt that either of you will ever marry now, and I’ll never have grandchildren!”

Heidi bit back the pain that this conversation always brought, blinking furiously to hide tears, she turned to her mother and smiled an elusive smile, knowing deep inside that she’d likely never marry...or have children.

A taxi took them to what Heidi could only presume was a very exclusive restaurant at a small harbour town along the coast. As they entered, her mother instantly changed, her features softening as she turned to wave. Cesare was sat at a prime table overlooking the stunning coastline and he stood as they approached. Which almost made Heidi laugh, as he was a lot shorter than she expected, but with his dark curly hair without a hint of grey and thick equally dark moustache, he looked every inch the clichéd Greek man, and his smile, which widened when he saw them made him instantly likeable, instantly friendly.

                “Ah Barbara!” He gushed reaching for her hand to kiss it elegantly. “If I didn’t know different I’d swear this was your beautiful younger sister...” he turned to kiss Heidi’s hand, before raising his eyes back to her mother, “but as it is you do not look old enough to have a daughter this age!”

Heidi chuckled, for some reason this man was loveable, his flattery genuine, she knew that from anyone else she’d have raised her eyebrows and walked away. But she could see how strong the affection was between the two.

                “So!” he started pulling seats out for them both to sit, “tell me how you are agápi mou.” My love. Barbara smiled in his attention and Heidi suddenly felt like she was in the way! She was grateful for the menu that needed perusing, anything rather than watching the two make eyes at each other. She’d been studying it for just a few seconds when she felt a presence to her right, heat flushed up her face before she’d even looked up to see who was staring at her.

Cosmo was floored, he’d joined Cesare for dinner many times, but never had he seen the woman who had attracted his eyes from the very second he stepped into the restaurant. He imagined the older woman was Barbara, Cesare’s fiancée, whilst he’d not met her, that was logical. But the other woman. He sighed, from her auburn hair piled up on her head, to her slender neck, straight nose and full lips; he could only describe her as a dream. She was wearing a dress that barely concealed the luscious curves that he instantly wanted to run his hands over. He’d never felt such a strong attraction to a woman before.

Then she looked up, she’d sensed him staring. The other couple were two besotted with each other to notice. Instead, as he wove his way between the tables towards the three, he found he was getting lost in her eyes as she studied him as brazenly as he eyeballed her. And it felt as though someone had just turned the air conditioning off.

Beautiful. If he hadn’t been, then Heidi knew she’d be able to breathe, to move, to look away. But this man mesmerised her, and he was walking straight towards her, sliding elegantly between the tables. She knew she’d never seen a man this beautiful before, he was tall but he carried the suit he wore well, he was broad, yet not huge, his skin olive, and his dark hair reached to his collar. But it was those dark eyes that entranced her, warm dark eyes that fit perfectly with his angled cheek bones and square stubble-darkened jaw.

He’d almost reached the table when Cesare spotted him and jumped up, and his eyes retained that glint as he saw her still staring, then he was engulfed in Cesare’s embrace.

The hug was prolonged and Heidi could see that Cesare was whispering into the other man’s ear, but eventually they separated, and both turned to the now very curious women.

                “Beautiful Barbara, this is my son-in-law and business partner, Cosmo Fotakis. Cosmo, this is my fiancée Barbara Mortimer, and her equally beautiful daughter Heidi! I asked him to join us for dinner as both my children are away.”

Son-in-law, Heidi couldn’t fully process that, other than to realise that the title reinforced what the ring she’d suddenly spotted on the man’s left hand had hinted at. Whilst he was beautiful, god-like, he was also married. Taken.

When her mother stood to greet the man, she got to her feet too. But it was with some reluctance that she accepted the embrace and kiss of greeting from Cosmo, and as his rough cheek brushed hers, his lips connecting with her soft skin, Heidi actually gasped as a spark of electricity ravished her body. Pulling away she met Cosmo’s eyes and saw the same stunned expression on his face. He felt it too. But before she’d processed that thought he had quickly guarded his emotions and lowered himself in to the empty chair beside her.

Heidi had never struggled for conversation, she was well educated and had seen and experienced a wide variety of situations. She enjoyed debating, and was well versed on current affairs.  But as she relaxed back into her seat, she was at a loss for words, not a feeling she was exactly used to. But she needed time to compose herself, to work out what she wanted to say, so she sat back and watched the others converse. It was so obvious that Cesare was captivated with her mother, he was continually attentive to her every whim, and she noted how Cosmo’s eyes crinkled with amusement as he watched his father-in-law, at the same time revealing perfectly straight white teeth. Was there nothing imperfect about this man?

They were well into their first course when Cosmo turned to Heidi. “Are you always this quiet?”

His voice was devoid of accent, but his pronunciation was exact, a sign that English was not his natural language, not that it wasn’t impeccable. And it was husky, sensual. She had to shake herself free of that. She wasn’t someone who dabbled with married men. She wouldn’t do that. So instead, she shrugged trying to feign a casual smile, “this has all been a bit unexpected for me!” She gestured in the direction of her mother and Cesare who were embroiled in an intimate conversation.

He nodded knowingly, “it is strange also to see my grumpy father-in-law so besotted, it’s amusing!”

She gulped awkwardly, unable to avoid the topic any longer, “so you’re married to Cesare’s daughter?”

Cosmo studied her for a moment longer than necessary, then smiled an unconvincing smile, “yes, Eleni.”

She struggled to get over the disappointment that flooded through her, despite it all, she was hoping that she’d interpreted things wrongly, eventually adding, “I know so little about his family. I only found out about him yesterday, and met him an hour ago.”

 “It’s unusual, hey? For the child to have to approve the parent’s choice!” When she smiled, he leaned back in his chair, and continued, “Cesare has two children, Eleni, she’d twenty nine, and the apple of her father’s eye. And her younger brother is called Nikos. He’s twenty three and in Oxford studying Chemistry, a Masters; he has the brains of the family.”

Heidi was captivated by his attention, smiling awkwardly, she asked, “and Eleni?”

Cosmo laughed out loud, then grinned at her, “what does she do? Now I KNOW you’ve heard nothing about my wife! She’s a fulltime attraction!” When Heidi looked puzzled, he added, “She spends her life looking good, she does an occasional modelling contract, but mostly, she spends my money and shops!”

Heidi was horrified, he was married, the first man she’d felt an attraction to in years, was married, to a model...presumably an extremely beautiful woman...who had no need to work...jealous much? 

Nothing Left to Lose - Part One

Chapter One

A/N So after the writer’s block and delays, for the first time ever I am abandoning the last story. I’ve not given up on it, I’ll go back to it, but I really need to get my mojo back. This is a story that I started to post years ago on a different site (can’t remember where) but I want to revamp and finish. Hopefully that’ll free me up then to complete You Got It Wrong. So sorry to disappoint.

All comments gratefully received.

“She’s getting married!”

Heidi Mortimer wished she’d never picked up the phone, she was tempted to drop her head onto her desk and close her ears, but she couldn’t. She heard the voice, knew it was her brother’s, but couldn’t contemplate who ‘she’ was.  Holding the phone at arm’s length, she looked at it quizzically, then returned it to her ear. “What? Who?”

Lucas laughed, “mother dearest! She’s getting married. Seven months a widow, and all of a sudden she’s in love AND getting married!”

Heidi sat down abruptly, glad that she was near a comfy chair; this was all rather sudden, and horrendously bizarre. She hated that she could feel tears prickle at her eyes, her heart had broken when her father had died, and it was all still so raw that she couldn’t imagine that her mother was ready to move on already. But then what would she know? She’d barely spoken to her mother in that time, let alone visited her in the family home in Cyprus. “Really?”

She could hear Lucas breathing erratically as he paced the room, a mannerism so typically him, she could vividly imagine him pacing his riverside pad, probably stepping between some of the many women who throw themselves at him regularly. He never could resist a desperate female, and wow, did they all seem to love him. “Oh yes, really! He is apparently a Greek shipping magnate, and they are head over heels in love.”

                “Shit!” Heidi leaned back in the chair and closed her eyes, “this all sounds rather surreal.”

Lucas laughed out loud, “that little sis is an understatement...but the fact that he’s rich, successful, and means we may a little less to worry about?”

                “I suppose you’re right. It sounds selfish, but I know where you’re coming from, at least she isn’t going to end up penniless in a couple of years...so how do you know all this?”

Chuckling again he replied, “I have my spies.”

                “You heard it via Fred?” she closed her eyes letting her head hang back. Since the first day of primary school he’d been inseparable best friends with Freddie. Coincidentally both their mothers were also best friends.  Over the years Cheryl, had been the font of all knowledge when it came to their mother, all relayed via Freddie.

Lucas was spluttering and it dragged her back to the here and now, “actually Cheryl herself called me! I think she’s secretly concerned it’s too soon. We need to check up on her, don’t we?”

Heidi thought for a few moments, “does this mean I’ve got to drop everything and head to Cyprus?”

Lucas sighed, “you handle her so much better than I can do.”

                “Coward!” she replied indignantly, but she knew that her brother would be useless in this situation, so with an air of inevitability, she hung up.

It wasn’t easy to just walk away from work. Heidi had worked so hard to be who she was, chief designer for her own clothing label. It had brought her immense pride and satisfaction from day one, but two years ago, she’d been spearheaded to design a budget range of clothing for a huge supermarket chain. Everything she ever wanted. Whilst she wasn’t a household name, her clothing was, and as a designer she couldn’t be anything but happy. As each season approached she was inundated with deadlines, and she thrived on it. But typically her mother couldn’t announce this news (not that it had been announced to her formally) when she had just released the latest range. Instead here she was a month before D-day trying to organise every possible outcome of every possible situation so that she could go council her mother and her new fiancé.

Fortunately she had the best assistant in the world, Polly was awesome, she seemed to know what Heidi was thinking before Heidi did – invaluable in business. The next morning her trusted colleague was blasé at the thought of her designer boss being absent.

                “You HAVE to go Heidi, I can handle everything...you’re only ever a Blackberry message away. Honest.”

Heidi paced the room, her shoulder length dark hair masking her frown of concern, “but there are the final fittings...”

                “Which I can do!”

She looked up, “the accessories have to be approved!”

Polly laughed, “I can email you the photos, you can email me back. Anything else?”

Heidi stopped suddenly almost dramatically falling off her high heels in panic, “the factory...”

Grinning Polly patted her on the back, “I called the manager earlier and faxed over the paperwork, they’re waiting on confirmation of the quality of the fabric before they mass produce. It’s all in hand Heidi! This can literally run itself. I swear.”

Heidi flopped in to her seat behind the huge mahogany desk that filled her office. She’d bought the desk before she had the office; it was antique, previously owned by some legendary QC. She’d picked it up at an auction where she’d intended to purchase a rare Singer sewing machine. She lost the machine, but gained THE most awesome desk that she’d ever seen. Not that it was cheap or a bargain...but it made her feel successful. But today she could admit easily that it was more to do with her luck finding Polly than a wooden desk. “You’re a star. I’ve got two days to sort things, I’ll be back for the launch, I promise.”

Within seconds she was tapping into her computer finding a flight.

Unfortunately Heidi’s boyfriend was less enthusiastic. She’d met Casey at a party held by her agent six months earlier; he was a City banker, who loved working and playing hard in equal measure. She fitted snugly into the latter part, her quirky dress sense and curvy figure made her stand out amongst the crowd he associated with, and she knew that her uniqueness made him feel special. They never failed to gain attention, her with her unusual designs; him in his well cut suits. He was over six foot, blonde, and physically very fit. In fact he ticked all the boxes that most women seemed to desire in terms of attractive qualities. But for Heidi there was something missing. But then there was always something missing. She’d yet to find a man that she cared enough about, this time was no different, she had once again fallen into a relationship out of convenience rather than anything more.

She was packing things into a holdall when the doorbell rang that night, opening the door she saw Casey impeccable as ever, scowling down at her.

                “You’re going away? Were you going to even tell me?” he burst past her into the lounge, helping himself to a glass of wine from the bottle on the side table.

She bit back her anger at his over familiarity, “sorry Casey things have crept up on me, this is all a bit last minute.”

                “That’s a reason? You leave me in the dark so that your secretary can tell me gloatingly about you going away instead?”

Heidi stopped turning to square up to him, “A – Polly ISN’T my secretary and B – there was nothing gloating or underhand about it all. You are paranoid. I’ve got a family crisis and it just so happens that my mother lives in Cyprus, hardly the other side of town. Now if you have nothing nicer to say, you can leave that wine and go, I’ll see you when I get back.”

She turned back to the sofa, and the mountain of clothes she’d shortlisted for her trip, after all it was the height of summer, and that meant glorious weather in Cyprus. She couldn’t afford to spend that much time there, but she also didn’t know how long it would take for her to get to grips with the whole situation. As she was folding some of her favourite strappy tops and sundresses, she heard the front door slam, and with a sigh she got on with her packing.

Two days later she was flying first class to Larnaca, continually working on her laptop until they landed four hours later, then she transferred to a taxi that wound down to her mother’s villa in the hills above the town. Heidi couldn’t fight the sadness in coming here. It reminded her of her Dad, this was her first visit since she’d attended his funeral seven months earlier.

Her parents had always travelled, her father had been a freelance nautical engineer, her mother his PA, organising his life. For the whole of her growing life he and her mother had taken short term contracts all over the globe. Heidi and Lucas had attended boarding school, something she’d hated, yet Lucas had loved, which just about summed up their polar opposite personalities. She’d been at the end of her University years when both parents finally retired to Cyprus. They’d visited lots, but it was never enough for her, not really, and within seven years her father was dead.

The short journey from the airport to her mother’s home passed quickly, and all too soon she was sliding out of the car and climbing up the short driveway to the beautiful villa. The pool, groomed gardens and lush sea view were the fodder of real estate brochures, but to her it was somewhere that would never be a home to her.

Barbara Mortimer was a small woman, her hair still naturally dark, her face lightly tanned from the constant sun. She was a hard worker, her father had always joked that she was the driving force behind his success, and since the death of Isaac Mortimer she had been lost. Her emails and occasional calls to Heidi had told her that. So where did this new man fit in? When had the grieving widow morphed into a lover, a fiancée?  Heidi was pondering that thought when she rounded the side of the house and recognised the familiar figure in the distance tending the award winning roses across the other side of the garden, the same roses that had been transferred to seven previous homes of the Mortimer’s.

                “Hello?” She called out.

Heidi smiled as she saw her mother freeze mid-prune as she recognised the voice of her daughter. Looking up the expressive face burst into an animated smile as she bounded across the gardens to embrace her daughter.

                “Why didn’t you tell me you were coming?” she squealed as she pulled her close after briefly holding her at arm’s length. “I could’ve picked you up, taken you for dinner....”

She reciprocated her mother’s embrace, and hugged her tightly, “I miss you Mama, we don’t see each other half as often as we should.”

                “I know,” she held Heidi and examined her closely as she continued, “I never come back to Britain darling, I know that I should visit you and Lucas more. It’s just even though we weren’t there much the last fifteen years,” she sighed, “...too many memories.”

Heidi smiled, “I know, I kind of feel the same about this place.” She looked up at the house. “I see Dad everywhere. That’s why I don’t come here more often.”

Her mother smiled, “we’ve all got our crosses to bear, hey? Look, I’ll cancel my hair appointment tomorrow now that you’re here...there’s so much we could do.”

Heidi shook her head, “don’t be silly, I can relax on the beach, I could do with some chill out time! I’ve got away from the chaos of London.”

Barbara linked arms with her daughter and led her into the house, “so what brings you out here so unexpectedly? Not that I’m not delighted to see you!”

                “I need a hug from my mother?” Heidi looked down at her.

Her mother smiled, “nothing to do with rumours of me getting engaged.”

Heidi sighed, “well there was a little mention of a Greek tycoon!”

With a pot of tea and some cakes, they sat on the veranda looking down to the azure seas of the coast in the distance. And as Barbara poured them a mug each, she smiled at Heidi.

                “It may seem quick darling, but I’m going into this with my eyes open, I promise.”

Heidi nodded, “I just wondered if this was anything to do with me and Lucas not getting out here very often.”

She shook her head, “I love you both and wish we all saw each other more, but I’m not lonely, honestly. I do miss your father every day, and Cesare understands that. He lost his wife a few years ago, she was English too, he misses her in the same way. I’m not looking to replace your father, or move on, I could never do that. We both know that we’ve had the best time with the love of our life, but we want a friend, support, companionship. That’s what we’ve got I promise. You’re in luck as he’s coming over tomorrow. He’s in Paphos on business, but has promised to come here for a day or so after that, he spends a lot of time in Greece.”

She smiled, “ah! So that explains the hair cut. Do I get a chance to vet him?”

Barbara laughed, a high pitched tinkle, “of course. But you’ll love him, I know you will. He’s wonderful!”

As she listened to her love crazed mother, she tried not to hate the stranger for attempting to fill the place of her father so quickly and without her or Lucas being informed.

They shared wine and ate a meal they made together that evening and talked about everything and nothing. It had been too long since they’d sat down together with no one else demanding their time or attention. Namely Lucas.

                “So you’ve got a new range coming out?”

Heidi nodded as she bit into a roast potato, chewing contemplatively, “autumn/winter launches in about four weeks.”

                “Oh Heidi, I’ve dragged you away from that? You should have stayed back home until you were freer.”

                “Nonsense, I pay an assistant to assure me that she can cope in my absence...I should have come sooner really. It shouldn’t have taken this to make me come see you.”

Barbara smiled, leaning back in her chair, “we’ve all held each other at arm’s length since we lost your Dad, haven’t we? Not just you, but me and Lucas too.”

Heidi moved to the fridge and got them another bottle of white wine, “so tell me about Cesare. Where did you meet?”