Chapter
Forty One
A/N So so so so sorry at the delay. Had a ridiculous January on so many levels. Finally started to get this story sorted and I had a forced absence. Sorry that it's not to everyone's cup of tea, I know how I want this story to go, but it's not getting there as I'd hoped. I will complete it, but my next story is already taking over, and it's a difficult time when I'm trying to formulate the rest of this story as another one is fighting for attention in my small mind!
I hope that you can stick with this, I will edit it, maybe rewrite parts, but I literally post as I write the chapters, so it's hard to go back and change things. Anyway. Sorry to you loyal readers once again. Promise regular updates. And then the next story very soon!
MZ
Lilah was
sat in the kitchen on Amelia’s Notting hill house looking pale. Nina stood
there staring at her trying desperately to gauge how her friend was felling.
She’d been happy when she’d flown off to Cyprus, but then she was never happier
than when was modelling. That was her prime love. She hadn’t done it for a long
time, and she’d been looking forward to the trip. But something had changed.
“You ok?”
Lilah looked
up her face a mask, “I didn’t hear you come in.”
Nina stepped
towards her, “I wasn’t quiet, you know me.” She sat in front of her, “what’s
wrong? How was Cyprus?”
She leaned
back in her chair, looking at her friend through dark expressionless eyes.
“Warm...”
She nodded,
“and the shoot?”
Lilah
nodded, “I delivered...”
“And you caught up with some old
friends?”
Lilah bit
her bottom lip, then nodded, “yes.”
At no point
did Lilah make eye contact with Nina, so she shuffled to sit in front of her,
“Lilah...what is it? What’s happened?”
She watched
as Lilah shook her head, then reached for the cold cup of tea in front of is,
drinking it without the flinch it probably deserved. And had replaced the mug
on the table before she lifted her eyes, “I did it. Four days in the heat...and
it was fine.”
“And?” Nina was on pins.
“Two nights ago, we wrapped it
up, and Leonora, do you remember her?” When Nina nodded, vaguely able to
remember the woman she’d modelled with in the past. “Well, she asked me to stay
on for a couple of nights...a little winter sun, and of course sample the nightlife;
I mean Ayia Napa is quite the place she assured me.”
Nina smiled,
“so I hear.”
“We were in this nightclub, it
was really busy, I mean considering it’s so late in the year. I didn’t drink
much...I’m not in the mood these days.”
“You’ll get your groove back.
You were so much stronger when you left...”
“I collapsed...in the toilets. I
was waiting for Leonora to finish up...thank god...”
Nina grabbed
her hand, “collapsed? Jesus Lilah what the hell is going on?”
“I’m pregnant.”
Theo watched
Sadie playing with Melody through the one way window of the room in the contact
centre. The liaison officer linked to them felt that Sadie was trustworthy and
that she should increase her role, see Melody more often and for longer...maybe
in another location. He couldn’t think about that. He knew that he’d struggle
to cope without the control over his daughter, Sadie could do anything and he
couldn’t begin to imagine what it would be like if she disappeared with Melody
to somewhere unknown. The night he’d found her with Sadie unconscious still
haunted his dreams, and he couldn’t believe that people in authority honestly
thought she was ready for more contact. Were they all mad?”
He turned to
their liaison, a woman in her fifties called Cheryl, “I can’t agree to it. I
want random drug tests first. If she passes a few then, and only then will I
think about it. After all she’s a manipulator, and being a woman, the mother
you all think she deserves specialist treatment. I mean what man would be
treated the same way?”
Cheryl
pursed her lips, “Mr Peterson, that isn’t the case, I assure you.”
“Four months ago that woman...”
he nodded in the direction of Sadie, “passed out due to drugs whilst caring for
my daughter. She has not had any rehabilitation or detox, and YOU all want her
to have MORE involvement with a vulnerable child she’s already proved she is
too selfish to look after.”
“But...”
He held up a
hand, “there is NOTHING you can say to change things.” He nodded to the glass,
to the tableau playing out in from of them, “so she can spend forty minutes
reading stories to Melody, so she can play doctors and nurses. When she leaves
here and jacks up on cocaine she’ll forget she was even here. I KNOW her, you
forget that. I need detox and negative drug tests. Or I’ll pull even this bit
of contact.”
His scowl
silenced the woman, he didn’t care that he seemed unreasonable; no one seemed
to be looking at the big picture, just Sadie and her doe eyes gaining pity
wherever she went. He was getting more and more angry, he needed some fresh
air.
“I’m going to wait outside.” The woman almost
looked relieved to see him leave, and he gasped at the air as he emerged into
the morning as though his life depended on it.
Sadie, he
clenched his hands into fists wanting to punch a wall. All her life, all their
married life she’d fluttered eyelashes and got what she wanted from Daddy
Dearest, from teachers, employers...and him. Now she was using the same tactics
to manipulate their daughter’s welfare. Well THIS time he was in a position of
power, and she wouldn’t win.
He glanced
at his phone and groaned, still no message from Nina, he knew that was part of
why he was so angry. She’d disappeared four days ago from his home with no
explanation, and other than an “I’ll call you soon” text, he’d heard nothing
from her. And he was getting desperate. He had no idea how important she was to
him until she disappeared. And it was painful. Especially when everything else
was a disaster.
His phone
rang and he glanced at the number, then let out a sigh at the fact it wasn’t Nina,
instead it was one of his contractors from the new site he was managing in
Harlow. He wasn’t calling for fun, there were problems and apparently only he
could deal with it. He was waiting on a carer starting work looking after
Mansell, and a little part of Melody’s day. They were still working out a
schedule where the carers linked in with both him and Daniel so that Mansell
was rarely alone. But it relied on nothing going wrong like this. Storming back
into the contact centre, he had no choice but to wait the twenty minutes that
were left of the visit.
Ninety
minutes later, Melody was asleep in her car seat, curled under a blanket and
Theo had solved the latest conundrum and the work was back on target. As he
climbed into the driver’s seat of his truck he sighed, this was no life for
Melody. And it was no life for him. Not really.
Picking up
his phone he called Nina, he’d promised her space, time. But he needed to hear
her voice.
But it cut
to answer phone.
“Nina. I’m sorry, I must sound
like a stalker...but I miss you. I wanted to hear your voice.” He paused, “I
hope things are ok. I...call me?”
He hung up
the call and tossed the phone onto the seat beside him with a groan. When did
things deteriorate so badly?
Nina looked
at Lilah. She was finally asleep. But even in slumber she looked troubled.
They’d had a tough few days, but hopefully they had turned the corner. Lilah
had been silent for a long time, not answering Nina’s questions, but now, three
days and a trip to the South of France later, she was talking. In a small chalet
just off the Med coast, they’d spent two days not doing anything. But earlier
that day she’d cornered her friend.
“This is happening. You have to deal
with it. You have to decide what you want to do.”
Lilah had
rolled her head from her resting position comatose on the sofa to stare at
Nina, “really?”
Nina
squatted beside her, “Lilah, you are almost ten weeks pregnant. In thirty
weeks, just over half a year...it’ll be here in your arms. You HAVE to wake up
to this darling, as much as I don’t want to hurt you; you have got to be
realistic. Do you want to have it? You’ve always wanted kids.”
And it was
then that she started to cry, loud racking sobs that broke Nina’s heart, “I
wanted them with someone who loved me, I wanted family, love...future. How can
I love a baby whose father...” she shook her head. “I can’t even think about
it. I can’t even verbalise it. How can I look this child in the eye, knowing
what I know? Knowing how it came to exist.” She sighed, “I hate him, that man,
I hate what happened. How can I treat a baby resulting from that well? I’ll
blame it, resent it.”
Nina sat
back on her heels, just relieved to know that Lilah had been thinking about things.
Silence in this case was because she was trying to work through what was
happening in her head. That was a positive. Definitely a move forward.
“Will you go talk to someone? A
counsellor? Someone?”
She shook
her head, “not a stranger. I can’t do that.”
Nina had
groaned at that, but then took her hand, “if we go away, somewhere away from
here, somewhere different. And talk to me. We have to work out what you’re
going to do.”
Lilah looked
concerned so she added, “you can’t pretend it isn’t happening. You know that
darling?”
And it was
then the tear started to fall. It was what she needed, Nina held her, knowing
that as each tear fell they were taking another step in the right direction.
Within a few
days they were away, on the edge of the French Riviera in a small beach front
chalet, filling their days with walks on the beach, good food, and copious
amounts of herbal tea. Each day saw Lilah’s mood change. One day she wanted the
baby, it was everything she wanted, everything she’d ever wanted. The next it
was hell, her idea of permanent torture and torment, a real life reminder of
what happened. Nina could understand both sides and she knew she’d be no better
trying to make a decision over that. But
with every day, they were talking more, Lilah was opening up, and Nina knew
that was all they could hope for.
“I’ll speak to a counsellor. You’re
right Nina; I can’t keep putting you through this.”
Nina opened
her eyes, she’d fallen asleep in the sun kissed lounge, with the windows closed
against the cold winter wind, but the heating on, it was more than warm sat
there. She looked across at her friend who had been asleep directly opposite
her. Lilah was so beautiful, her long lithe body curled up with the elegance of
a cat, and her long blonde hair wafting around her shoulders, so serene in her
repose.
“Really? What brought that on?”
Lilah
smiled, “you’ve got a life, a fit man waiting patiently for you. I’m compromising
everything, being a selfish bitch.”
Nina
stretched, “you’re never that. We’re sisters really, you know that.”
Lilah
grinned, “well it’s my turn to go get dinner, I was fancying some pizza from
that shack down the road?”
Nina nodded,
“could get some more vino at the same time?”
“Amazing idea. Maybe you want
to...I don’t know...make a couple of calls, catch up on life whilst I’m gone?”
As Lilah
pulled on her jacket and woolly hat, reached for her purse, Nina looked at her phone;
she’d barely contacted Theo since leaving abruptly ten days ago. She had text
him, but not much. But then she figured he was a big boy, he had to learn to
cope without her, as she was a loyal friend.
As Lilah
left, giving a wave, Nina reached for the phone and dialled the man who’d not
been far from her thoughts the whole time they’d been away.
Margaret,
Mansell’s carer was driving Theo mad, she literally changed everything, and
suddenly the world revolved around their plans. Not that Mansell was
complaining, and not that he himself was grossly unhappy with it all. But when
he asked for things to be done, or when there were important appointments, things
that Mansell had to do, Margaret took him to the park, or to the
shops...anywhere and anything bar what they were meant to be doing. He wondered
if it was the woman pushing the boundaries, staking her place in the whole
picture, or whether this was Mansell himself causing chaos. That would be about
right, the man was starting to get the sparkle back in his eyes, and that had
to be a good sign.
Today he was
stuck across town, late for picking up his daughter, and looking likely to miss
the pharmacy where Mansell’s prescription was waiting to be picked up...in the
next forty minutes.
Melody was
most important, but his grandfather needed the meds. And he’d called Margaret
fourteen times in the last hour to see if she could collect the prescription.
But she hadn’t answered. As he grunted and kicked his truck into gear to do as
much as he could in the time he had, the phone finally started to ring.
Connecting
it through his hands free kit, he barked, “where the hell have you been? I’ve
been calling you ALL afternoon!”
Bracing
himself for the reaction of Margaret that he’d already come to expect, he half
flinched, and nothing prepared him for the voice that offered, “really? I hadn’t
noticed, and I’m in the South of France if you must know.” Then she laughed.
Theo almost
stopped the vehicle to check that the voice was real. “Nina, is that you? Where
the bloody hell have YOU been too?”
