After All - Part Thirty One

Chapter Thirty One

Within a few days Mattie was back in work, despite everything she really needed to be busy. After the first night when Dylan had come home from work, she’d barely seen him. He’d taken to staying at the hotel and giving her ‘space’, not that she needed it. But she was grateful of somewhere to stay, that much was true.

Over the next three weeks the trend continued, he emailed her regularly, but their face-to-face contact was minimal. Mattie wasn’t very good with uncertainty, as the days passed she began to wonder what she’d said or done over that weekend when they were together. Had she revealed things drunk...heaven forbid that she’d been over friendly when she was sleepy and concussed. Something was driving him away and she had no idea what.

But she had other things on her mind, the golf weekend was less than ten days away, and before that her father was coming home. She was looking forward to seeing him. She still wasn’t sure whether it was Dylan reappearing or her recent attack that made her long for her father, but she was, desperately.

Dylan was back in New York for a few days so she felt extra pressure to make sure everything was perfect in the run up to the weekend.

Her phone was ringing nonstop, and she was getting more and more frustrated, with everyone and everything, then she answered with a snippy, “hello?”, only to hear her father’s voice.

                “I’m back!” And it was like heaven to her.

                “I’ll come to yours tonight, as soon as I’ve finished here.”

He sighed with please, “brilliant. Stay? I know you’re busy...”

For the best part of the last six years she’d avoided spending large portions of time with her father, partly because her mother wasn’t there, and that hurt, it really did, but also because she’d been living in a web of lies and she was unsure when she’d slip up, her father had no idea about so many things, things that had happened since her splitting from Dylan. Now that he was back, that her financial issues were easier, she felt ready to rekindle things with her father. She missed him so much.

And as she hung up she was determined to finish the day on schedule. She had a list of things she HAD to do, one for every day, and she smiled enthusiastically every time she ticked something off it. Marching up to the fourth floor she made it to the meeting with the designer in charge of the room renovations, with seconds to spare. Everything was in order, bar one of the showers, but they assured her that would be sorted first thing in the morning.

Rushing back to her office she was about to call Sarah, hand over things to her, but a she reached for her phone a cough from behind her alerted her to Dylan sat in the corner of her office.

                “You look stressed.”

She sighed, “I’m trying to get things sorted...my Dad’s home. I want to go see him, but I need to sort out SO many things. We’re still waiting on the scaffolding company to confirm when they’re setting up the gantries, then there’s been an issue with the size of the brewery order.”

As she bent her head to reach for the reams of paper she’d carried around like a shield all day, Dylan came towards her and took them from her hand, “go home, I’m back now. I’ll deal with all this.” He waved the papers to elaborate the point. “Go get a bottle of champagne from the bar, on me, then go to see Jim; I won’t expect you in before lunchtime tomorrow.”

                “But...”

He held up a hand, “no buts. Sometimes you need to switch off. You need to see your Dad, you need to step away. Ok? If I see you too early tomorrow, then I’ll sack you. You hear?”

Suitably told, she left the hotel with a skip in her step.

It was a ninety minute trip to her father’s home, since her mother had passed away her father had struggled. He still lived in the house she’d been brought up in, though on his own he rattled around like the last sweet in a jar. But as he opened the door and watched her walk down the step, she’d never been so glad to see him.

The hug that followed was longer than normal, and when they finally moved apart her father had tears in his eyes, “you ok darling?”

She gave him a beaming smile, “I am now.”

Holding her at arm’s length he stared at her for a moment, then smiled, leading her into the house.

                “So tell me about Thailand and Gareth’s new home.” She sat in a chair at the kitchen table as her father filled the kettle.

                “Well, it’s in a beautiful place,” Her brother Gareth had loved in Thailand for the last three or four years. He was now about to marry a local woman who he’d employed at the bank he worked in. He’d been in University with Sunti, whose father was a prominent political figure in his home of Thailand. In the years that followed their time in school they’d kept in touch, holidayed together, and when Sunti took on a head role in a Thai bank, he wanted a friend, and supporter running several of the branches for him. Gareth had just split up with his long term girlfriend, their mother had died, he needed something, and this job had been the best thing that happened to him. Though she had barely seen him since, he was happy, and her father got the chance to get away. Just what he needed.

As was proven by the way her father waxed lyrical about the home in the hills, the pool, the five bedrooms, the huge lounge...and the small cottage that was tucked away deep in the grounds. Perfect for him to live in.

                “So you’re going to move out there?”

Her father shrugged, “I’m not about to abandon you.”

That made her chuckle, “I’m thirty in a few months, I hardly need you putting everything on hold for me!”

                “You’re my daughter,” he handed her a mug of tea, “and I care about you...I worry about you.”

That made Mattie smile, “I’m a big girl Dad.”  Suddenly she remembered the champagne, “I forgot my new boss gave me this for tonight.”

She handed him the bottle and he lifted his eyebrows, “wow. You must be a valued employee.”

Mattie said nothing as he put it in the fridge, instead she watched him pull out a pot of casserole, “so who’s been cooking for you?”

He blushed as he placed the pot in the oven, “Mrs Owen is just concerned, that’s all.”

Mattie chuckled at that, her dad had had the adoration of the single women of a certain age in town, and constantly batted off their attention. After more small talk and a little teasing, they sat down to eat at the kitchen table that had seen so many family meals in the past.

                “So work is going well? You seem more settled than I’ve seen you in a long time.”

She’d never been honest with him, not truly on so many levels. Did she change that now?

Mattie sighed, “I’ve got a new boss, Paul my old boss kind of abandoned ship.”

                “So it’s all change. How’s the new guy?” He chewed on the lamb as he watched her.

Leaning back in her seat she contemplated for a moment, then said quietly, “it’s Dylan. He bought the hotel.”

Her father couldn’t have looked anymore stunned, his jaw hung open, his eyes were wide. It took him a little while to formulate a response. “Wow. How does that work?”

She sighed, “it’s been hard, but we’ve kind of called a truce, buried the hatchet. It was all a long time ago.”

That surprised him too. “That’s not what I expected to hear.”

She laughed, “we’ve bitten lumps out of each other, I resigned once, and almost hit him a dozen times. But he has changed, he’s finally grown up.”  

Her father chewed again quite thoughtfully, and it was a while until he spoke again, “and he’s bought the hotel? Finally doing well for himself then? Always knew he would. I don’t like what happened...what it did to you, but I always liked Dylan, you know that. And whatever we think of him, he was always driven to do better, to be something.”

She sighed, “he wanted that success more than he wanted me.”

                “Some people need to prove themselves, maybe the point is why, but I digress.”

Mattie didn’t want to think about justifying Dylan’s behaviour, she wasn’t ready for that, “so yes, he’s got some sort of empire out in the States, we’re a new acquisition...he’s got homes here, New York...doing well.”

                “And that hurts?”

She rubbed at her eyes, wishing she could ease the tension that had settled in her, she hated to sound petty and jealous, “He left me in debt Dad, HUGE debt. I never told you...”

Her father reached out and laid a hand over hers, “I guessed it was something like that, you worked so hard, but you never went anywhere, never had fun...” She could see tears glazing over his eyes, “you were too proud to tell me...or him.”

She nodded, “I was, I am. I worked through it, and it was a real challenge. He never knew, but now...well he’s dealt with what’s left, so I’m living again, finally.”

                “Hence the smile.”

                “It’s a huge relief to have some financial security again, I can’t tell you how hard it’s been. I’ve had a long time to think, and a lot to think over. I have lived with guilt, about mum, you, him...the money. Kind of takes over, but it’s also easy to hide behind, you know? I was too busy hating him and resenting the rest of the world to deal with the fact that I missed my mum; I missed my husband...and never appreciated what I had left. I’ve been the worst kind of daughter Dad.”

He shook his head, “No. I’ll never agree with that. Ever. You have never let me down. You have been through so much, but you never wanted to burden me with it, I get that. I wish you’d dealt with it differently, but you had to do things your way. I get that.”

Mattie smiled, really smiled, “go to Thailand. Go live out there, have fun...you deserve it. And I promise to visit. A lot. I can now. Ok?”

He grinned, “we’ll see.”

They ate more, then her father brought out some apple crumble and custard.

                “Mrs Owen too?”

He laughed, “Mrs Price from the post office, ‘the apples are fresh from my garden’. Your mother would laugh wouldn’t she?”

                “At you being the town’s most eligible bachelor? Oh yes. It’s hilarious.”

                “This is good champagne.” Her father commented as he sipped at it.

When she looked at her he was nodding knowingly. “What?”

He shrugged, “just find it wild that it’s a gift from Dylan. Or that he’s back in your life without you killing him.”

Shaking her head vehemently she protested, “I have almost killed him several times, and he’s not in my life Dad, he’s my boss.”

Leaning back in his chair he sighed, “I’ve never been more worried about you than I have the last few years. But tonight...you’re the old Matilda again. I like that.”

She blushed it was an awkward morning and she wasn’t sure she liked what he was insinuating, “that’s nothing to do with him.”

She stared at his hand as his fingers grabbed hers, “you’re happy, relaxed...ask yourself when you last felt like that, and why.”

And wasn’t that a lot to sleep on that night. Mattie was sick of punching the pillow, of tossing and turning in her bed. When was she last truly happy. Dispute racking her brain she couldn’t come up with anything, anywhere, or anyone...other than Dylan. Until the last year of her marriage she’d been almost deliriously happy, then her world had fallen apart. He was it...he represented her becoming all that she wanted to be, prior to him she’d been shy, introspective, but with his love and attention she’d bloomed into someone confident, happy, determined, ambitious...it had all been due to him.

Climbing out of her bed, she shuffled along the corridor to her Dad’s room and opened the door.

                “I’m awake darling. You ok?”

She could see him sit up in the dark and lowered herself to the edge of his bed, “Dylan.”

He sighed, “no one will think anything if you give things another try. He was perfect for you, and I know he did wrong, HE knows he did wrong. But he was so good for you before that. Nothing in life is easy, and I can’t imagine trusting him would be easy again. But don’t let the past completely shape things. You were good together for a lot longer than it was bad.”

                “You in his fan club these days?”

He laughed, “no. Yours. Look, I have always liked him, he was like a son to me. I trusted him to look after you, and he did for a long time. I found losing him hard too. Part of me would want to slap him for hurting you, but I guarantee he’s suffered enough himself in the past. Losing you can’t have been easy. It isn’t easy dealing with the past, getting beyond things, but if you can, and if he makes you happy then I’m happy..”

                “But all that happened...”

He took her hand, “only you know if you can get past it. Only you know if it’s worth a try.”

With a smile she leaned forward to hug him, there was no one as great as your dad.