You Got It Wrong - Part Twenty Six

Chapter Twenty Six

The Marketplace was a new and fairly exclusive restaurant that had opened in town somewhere over the summer. It was a warm evening and Nina was glad when they were shown to a table on the veranda at the rear of the building. She picked up the menu, glad of something to separate her from his intent gaze.

When she finally peaked over the top, Theo was sat back in his chair grinning, “I’m not going on bended knee grovelling for your understanding if you won’t look me in the eye.”

She sighed, “I feel awkward.”

                “Not as bad as I do.”

He glanced at the menu for a moment, then looked back at her, “thanks for giving me this chance.”

She immediately pooh-poohed that idea, “don’t go all martyr and hard done hero on me. You told me you’d call that you wanted to meet up.”

She paused as the waiter approached and they both ordered, then turned back to him, “if you’re not interested leave me alone.”

Theo leaned forward, “I AM interested, but I’ve got SO much shit going on at the moment.”

She sighed, “don’t we all?”

                “Touché! I’m not proud of the way I’ve been, since I’ve met you I seem to be acting like a complete prick, but I’m not like that. I swear. I’m just struggling to manage Melody in my life full time.” As he spotted her mouth open in anger he added quickly, “I’m not saying that it’s a nuisance, I’m just saying that it’s hard. It’s taking more time than I have in the day. I’m neglecting work, everything to help get things sorted.”

                “I feel terrible now; she should be your only thought.”

He sighed, “she is, but I have no one to care for her other than her childcare...and I never wanted her to be in that full time.”

Nina could see how torn he was over it and for the first time felt a little sympathy for him, “where is she tonight?”

                “Daniel has her, he has been amazing, and she just LOVES staying at his house.”

Poor Lilah, she was hoping to make him jealous or something...she looked at him, “he hasn’t gone to the Marketing dinner thing?”

Theo shrugged, clearly having no idea what she was talking about, “poor Lilah.”

                “Lilah? What’s going on with her?” When Nina’s eyes widened he gasped, “what Daniel?”

She nodded, “seems you are not the only brother with issues.”

                “Those two? Together?”

He seemed genuinely surprised, “they spent time together at the Wootton wedding, I think he’s led Lilah to believe he’s interested.”

Theo sighed, “he’s too busy for anything, that’s what he told me, he’s hoping to be Shadow Minister in less than a year, it’s full on schedule for him, making a name for himself.”

Nina nodded, she knew how time consuming politics could be, her lonely childhood was the product of her own father’s desire to lead the country. He never made it to Prime Minister, but he did push to be a significant part of several Cabinets.

                “Well then he needs to be honest with her, she may come across as confident, strong...but she’s not. And I have a feeling your smooth talking brother may be a danger to her.”

He opened his mouth to defend his brother, but then must have spotted the look in her eyes, the challenge she was laying down, and he backed down with a smile.

                “Red or white?”

She eyed him suspiciously until he gestured to the wine list.

As the food arrived they talked, about Melody and her day care, the struggles to work around that, and fro Theo he hated how desperate that made him sound. He was struggling, but it was a great thing to worry about, every day she made him laugh, made him proud. He wasn’t about to throw Sadie’s involvement into the mix, he didn’t want to pressure Nina, or make her feel that part of this maybe her fault, for just being around.

                “So how do you intend to do this long term?” Nina asked chewing on her steak. “I mean, this isn’t going to get any easier, is it?”

He shook his head, “I’m thinking that I’m ultimately going to have a get a nanny or something, I mean I can’t cut back on work forever. And I’ve got no one else to help really.”

                “You said your mother is abroad?”

He nodded, “and desperate NOT to be a grandmother, Mansell would have been more reliable, but I couldn’t have relied on him, not really.”

                “And a nanny will be expensive?”

He shrugged, “I’m not having to pay my ex-wife half of what I used to, so that’s not too bad...but it’s trusting someone, I mean, she’s my little girl...and there are some weird people out there.”

She thought about that for a moment, how wonderful it was that he cared that much, she’d had a variety of nannies as a child, and a lot weren’t at all maternal.

                “I know what you mean.”

They ate in silence for a little while eating comfortable in the quiet that stretched between them.  Nina had a lot to think about, the man in front of her seemed to pull at her constantly, but he had so much on, he had so much to deal with between his daughter, his job and his grandfather. She wasn’t the type to do casual, hell, she’d avoided all male attention for years, when she finally got over her fear, the man who stood there before her was one who could offer her so little.

                “Penny for your thoughts?”

She looked up at his warm brown eyes, his studious gaze, and offered a half smile, “not sure they warrant a penny.” That caused a laugh and she smiled, “just thinking that a different time, a different place...then this could be different.”

He sighed, a far louder sound than she expected, “it’s not going to be easy...but then nothing ever is. Can we try? Can we try and see if we can work something out? Can we play it day by day?”

                “I can’t and won’t do casual. If you don’t want something...I’m not saying serious, but stable I suppose then walk away now.”

Theo reached for her hand and held it, his thumb rubbing along her palm, “I want Nina...if that’s what you’re asking, I want more than I thought possible. But I know now that it isn’t going to be easy...I have to separate the parts of my life...I can’t mix you and Melody, or you and Mansell...I’m just not sure if we can make enough time. That I can give you all that you deserve.”

She admired his honesty as she averted his eyes, there were tears pricking and she had no idea if they were due to her sentimentality over his paternal love that he wore like a badge for all to see, or the battle that would lie ahead trying to make time, to nurture the attraction between them.

                “Do you want dessert?”

When she shook her head, Theo stood and offered her a hand, then throwing cash to cover the meal onto the table; he led her out into the night.

Like the gentleman she knew he was most of the time, he walked her home, her hand tucked into his elbow, and when she shivered with cold, he shrugged out of his jacket and draped it around her shoulders. And she didn’t flinch when his arm secured it there, holding her close to the warmth of his body, and after a few moments she was unable to move away if she’d wanted to, his smell was intoxicating, he exuded an aura that seemed to cause her to limpet at his side. It was so long since a man had held her like that, since anyone had been that close to her that she thought she’d run away, but it felt so nice to be protected, to have someone care for her.

It’s not forever, her inner conscience warned her, he’d been honest to that affect and she had to ensure she didn’t forget that, she wasn’t one for getting carried away.

At her front door, he paused, turned her in his arms and smiled at her, “you know what I want, and I’m going to try and be a gentleman, try my very best. So the ball is in your court Nina, it’s as much as I can offer. If you want...” he sighed, “well...you know where I am. Ok?”

She knew she was staring at him, but she hadn’t expected such an abrupt end to the night. Spotting her reaction, he lifted a hand to cup her cheek, “don’t think this is me copping out. It’s just got to come from you. You have to make this decision.” He smiled down at her, “ok?”

She could feel her head nodding, but it was an automatic and subtle gesture, he was about to leave, but really didn’t want him to. As he stared at her, drinking in the nuances of her face, seeing the desire there, the longing. She felt like some brazen hussy, she was as good as offering herself to him, on her doorstep...but she was uncaring.

With a regretful groan, Theo lowered his head and brushed his lips over hers. And for Nina it was as magical as it had been on the previous occasions.

His warm lips were soft yet challenging, his body, as she was pulled against him her body felt the strength of his chest, the firmness of his arms engulfing her, dwarfing her. She was almost a foot shorter than him, he towered over her, around her, and she wasn’t intimidated. She loved it. With a moan of pleasure she felt his tongue slide between her lips and she thrust hers out to duel with it. He was backing her towards the front door, and it was the hard cold wood against her shoulders that pinned her in his embrace, made her helpless against his ardour. She'd been kissed in the past, but she’d never been kissed, this man was an expert, every time he touched her she lost control.

It was a cough from the street behind, that caused them to pull apart like guilty teenagers, and Cliff her octogenarian neighbour gave them a wave and a cheeky smile.

Theo smiled at him, then slowly turned back to face her, dropping his forehead to rest on hers, “wow, usurped by a pensioner!”

She grinned, suddenly nervous, suddenly aware of what they were doing and where. “So...”

He tried to meet her eyes, but when she evaded him, he tilted her chin with a long and surprisingly delicate finger, “so...”

Taking a deep breath, Nina smiled, “so I’ll see you soon?”

He stepped away from him rather purposefully, and Nina pretended she couldn’t see the pain in his eyes at her rejection, “ok.”

                “Theo...” she wanted to explain that outside of the drugging presence of his kiss, his touch, she had cold feet, that she doubted herself and him. But he was stepping away from her retreating down the path quickly, though he was still looking at her, waiting for a sign.

                “It’s ok...” he offered, “I get it. I’ll...err...call you?”

She fell back against the still closed front door watching the man retreat, shoulders hunched, tension in every inch of his body. Her breath was rapid, her heart racing as she turned to open the door, and once again tears filled her eyes. Whether she gave him a wide berth or not, this man was under her skin and she was already smitten. And he was walking away from her. Forever? She didn’t know.

Slumped against the other side of the closed front door, she reached in her pocket and dug out her phone.

                “Don’t go.”

She stared at the two words she’d typed for what felt like ten minutes. Then with a deep breath and a swirl of anxiety in her stomach, she selected Theo’s name and pressed SEND.