Nothing Left to Lose - Part Four

Chapter Four

                “Hey!” Her mother was again pruning her roses when Heidi strode up the driveway and into the garden. “How was the beach?”

Heidi nodded, “beautiful. I loved it. Definitely washed the London cobwebs away!”

Her mother smiled, “good. You did look a little stressed. You feeling better now?”

Smiling, she lowered herself to the nearby bench and smiled at her mother, “it’s a busy time of the year! Being away has been like a break; I’m just praying that it doesn’t all fall apart without me,”

                “All the more reason why you should’ve waited and come out when it was more convenient!” She laughed at her daughter’s expression, “ah, it was Lucas that couldn’t wait that long, hey? Well, I won’t say it hasn’t been a wonderful surprise!”

Heidi groaned at the realisation that her brother still hadn’t called her back. Concern? Nah, he just wanted to something to happen that would appease his guilt...and as usual she’d stepped into that role.

Instead of breaking her mother’s rose tilted bubble, she merely nodded, “you know what he’s like!”

Barbara smiled, “I know that he probably talked you into coming here, that he couldn’t disrupt his ‘busy’ life, but expected you to!”

When Heidi shrugged she offered, “I know he bosses me around...”

Shaking her head her mother disagreed, “he bullies you Heidi, he always has. I know he’s been indulged a lot when he was young, so ultimately it’s my and your father’s fault, but you need to stand up to him more Heidi, you really do.”

She nodded, “he is a rather controlling influence it must be said! But I did want to come and see you, and I am happy that you’ve found Cesare.”

                “You don’t think it’s too soon?”

Heidi shrugged, before she left London she had thought it was DEFINITELY too soon, but meeting Cesare, hearing him speak, they were perfect for each other, they were going in to this with eyes open. How could she resent her mother happiness? Companionship? She knew that her father would be happy, knowing that someone loved her and cared for her.

                “No. I don’t. I think he’s perfect for you.”

Her mother smiled genuinely, then started to gush as she explained the plans for the forthcoming evening with the two Greek men.

Her mother had told her that the almost ironically named Aphrodite Palais was a new plush hotel that had become the talk of the island. Themed in the manner of a Greek paradise, the place was dedicated to the beautiful, perfect woman who according to legend appeared one day out of the surf not far from the resort they were in. Her son was Eros, the God of Love, and as they walked into the reception, Heidi was agog; the whole place was like an opulent romantic dream. Walls billowed with fabrics in red, white and gold, leather sofa’s adorned the lounge, heavy ornate gold tables and glass cabinets gave the room an ethereal feel. It was a romantic place, somewhere that made her think of love, and happiness and passion.

Heidi loved it.

Until she spotted Cosmo stood at the bar with Cesare, his face animated by a hearty laugh, she felt the combination of lust, and disappointment hit her like a sledge hammer. This evening was going to be extremely difficult. Maybe she should leave? Plead a headache, an illness; get away from the temptation of that man. She feared being in his company because he made her feel a way she wasn’t used to, and she had a feeling he was taking pleasure from goading her, from watching how far he could push her. And she was terrified of making a fool of herself.

She looked down at her mother’s beaming face and knew she couldn’t do it to her. So she took a deep breath and headed into the bustling reception.

As she approached she spotted Cosmo turn and admire her as she led her mother through the maze of chairs and tables to the two men. She’d dressed in another of her own creations, a strappy floral dress fitted to the waist, then flowing down to just above her knees, it was modelled on a 1950’s beach dress, and the co-ordinated scarf at her neck, large dark shades and scooped up hair only added to the look.

Cosmo had sensed her arrive, he’d known the very second that Heidi had stepped into the room. But Cesare was talking and he couldn’t turn and gawp until the older man did the same. When he looked up, he’d never seen anything as transcendent as the vision of Heidi sashaying her hips as she glided through the lounge towards them. She was unlike anyone he’d ever met before; he had a history of leggy blondes with slim supermodel figures, even before he married Eleni, who was of the same ilk. But here was this dark, curvaceous, quirky girl making him question his marriage vows.  Today she was even more beautiful than the last time he’d seen her on the beach, shy and off guard. Now, dressed like Hepburn, but with the figure of Monroe and the confidence of them both combined... the effect was devastating.

Cesare reached for Barbara and pulled her into a hug, which left him with Heidi. He exhaled TOO loudly in wonder, and said, “Roman Holiday was one of my favourite films!”

For a moment Heidi wondered if she’d misheard his comment, but when she looked at him, she could see him staring at her in a wondrous way, she couldn’t help but beam at his perception, at him picking up on the vibe of her appearance, and then there was the appreciative glance which managed to not seem inappropriate or pervy even though it really was both.

Was there anything negative about this man? She almost wondered aloud, before his subconscious gave her the kick up the arse she needed with a resounding...His wife! She immediately reined in her emotions and stepped a little further away from him.

Cesare chuckled as she removed her sunglasses and gave a nod of acknowledgement to both men, “I think that to compare you to Ms Hepburn is an injustice, she was beautiful, but you look radiant darling! You think so Cosmo?”

Whilst Cosmo nodded and gave her a look that compared to the previous ‘safe’ one, seemed to strip her to the bone, she tried to retain her composure, turning to Cesare she smiled politely, “Oh no, that is the greatest compliment. She was a true diva, in the original sense of the word, beautiful, successful, timeless and with THE best fashion taste of her era!”

Cesare laughed his eyes widening at her enthusiasm, “I sense we’ve hit on your passion!”

Barbara leaned closer and whispered to him, “I’m more of a Gregory Peck fan myself, but Heidi always did love the clothes and the shoes than the good looking men in those wonderful films!”

Heidi raised her eyebrows, “I swooned over Cary Grant and Rock Hudson like the best of them, but the fashions were stunning too, I just appreciate a beautiful creation. What’s wrong with that?”

                “Absolutely nothing!” Cosmo added his voice warm and very suggestive as he continued to caress her with his smooth chocolate eyes. “That is EXACTLY the Greek outlook on life! Look around,” he gestured to the room, “this whole hotel is modelled on a surreal goddess who was the most beautiful, elegant creature to grace the world.” He smiled at her again, “no, Cesare will agree, as Greeks we spend our lives appreciating beautiful creations in their many forms.”

Heidi lifted her eyes to meet his gaze and instantly regretted it; the man literally oozed sex appeal.

                “Let’s eat!” he announced sensing her tension, then led the others into the dining room.

The conversation was light and easy in the opulent restaurant, but she was careful to avoid Cosmo’s open gaze as they ate, it was made easier as he was sat alongside her, until he moved an arm and brushed against her side. Fighting a shudder, she continued with her food, but suddenly needed all her energy to keep things under control; she could barely focus and keep up with the conversation. So she allowed things to pass over her, blaming her distance on the fact she was dazzled by her food. That seemed to keep her mother happy.

As the meal came to an end, she noticed her mother starting to look cosy with Cesare, and then he dropped the bombshell.

                “Why don’t you young ones go out and see the town? Barbara and I are too old, and the last thing you youngsters want is to sit around here with us old people, the night is young. You should have fun.”

Heidi opened her mouth to protest when a hand rested on her thigh and she couldn’t function. Heat and lust pummelled her body and any objection was frozen in her throat.

                “Cesare, of course, that is a great idea, Barbara, I will look after her! We can wander down to the bars, and I’ll get her home before it’s too late!”

She wanted to shout out “NO!” to her mother, but as the older couple stood, smiling, then left the table she just became more and more aware of Cosmo’s presence.

Paying the bill, he chatted to the waiter in what she felt must be Greek for a few moments, before moving to the back of her chair and pulling it out as she stood.

“Come on; let me show you what the quieter part of this island has to offer.”

He led her along the seafront to a busy bar where people spilled out on to the street drinking, singing and generally having a good time, but these weren’t tourists, most seemed local, all conversing in a multitude of languages. It was noisy as they approached the first bar, and he Cosmo gestured to the bar. She nodded, and waited outside, propped against a wall that was almost completely covered in red, scented bougainvillea. As she inhaled the heady aroma, wanting to remember the smell for the rest of her life, she spotted him emerge from the doorway carrying two bottles of beer.

Cosmo smiled, handing her a bottle of beer, then he rested his shoulder against the wall beside her. He felt like a teenage boy, full of excitement and testosterone, and he had no idea how to deal with this, with her. He should walk away, go back to the safety of the hotel, but he couldn’t. His head was filled with the sight of her long slender neck, her elegant long fingers, her shapely ankles. God he didn’t need to look at her beautifully and ample curves to feel excited. He wriggled awkwardly trying to appease the sudden tension and lack of room south of his belt, and sought out neutral conversation to get his morals to win over his treacherous libido.

Heidi sipped from the bottle nervously, still not completely comfortable alone in his company. But by the time she got to the bottom of the second bottle, they were both laughing. Cosmo was as funny and charming as he was staggeringly attractive. An enviable combination, and despite the flirtations of other women around the bar, he truly did only have time for Heidi. She was the sole object of his attention, and it was extremely arousing. She had to KEEP constantly reminding herself that he was just a charming man, he’d treat any other woman the same way, and he was married. 

                “Tell me about Lucas.”

Heidi sighed and looked up at the star filled sky, “he’s a journalist, always jetting off somewhere. He’s a nice guy, but he always gets what he wants.”

That intrigued Cosmo, “what do you mean?”

Taking a drink she thought for a moment, “he has women throwing themselves at him on a constant basis, my parents always indulged him, he is and always has been the golden child.” She looked up into Cosmo’s eyes and half smiled, his interest and the alcohol making her freer with the truth than she’s like. “Even II always do what he wants. I don’t know why.”

He shook his head slowly, trying to contain the ridiculous amount of anger he felt at anyone abusing her trust and honesty, “sounds like a charmer!”

She shrugged, “he’s cool. You’ll like him, he’s just persuasive I suppose. I mean, I am slap bang in the middle of the busiest week in my schedule for months, but I’ve ended up here checking on my mother. He’s ‘not good at these things’!”

                “Which just means that he can’t be bothered?”

She shrugged, “I just humour him!”

An uncomfortable silence passed between them, for a moment, then he offered, “I’m enjoying spending time with you, so I should maybe thank him this one time?”

She giggled at that, which was a better response than blushing profusely.

                “So,” he was looking down at her and smiling and Heidi was feeling tipsy, she needed conversation to break the tension she felt. “Tell me about your family Cosmo, it only seems fair, you’ve met my mother, heard all about my brother!”

He chuckled, “I was born in Athens, which is a VERY busy City. My father died when I was ten, my mother then moved us to Rhodes, me and my younger sister Katia. She worked as a house keeper for a rich British man. It was Edward her employer who paid for me to go to University. He is the most honest and generous man I’ve ever met.”

Heidi cocked her head to the side and stared at him for a long moment, “do you see much of your mother and sister?”

He shrugged, “Katia is only twenty, and in college in France, so if I’m ever over there we meet. My mother married Edward ten years ago, but they were both killed in a car accident five years ago.”

                “I’m SO sorry!” She gasped, her hand flying to her mouth.

Smiling softly he slugged at his drink, “don’t be, it was sad, but these things happen. She was a great mother, and Edward made her very happy. We had our greatest years with him. I took over Edward’s affairs when he died, he had a small shipping business, and to be honest it was floundering. But I struck lucky, that’s how I managed to merge with Cesare, once I’d built things up to a reasonable size.”

She took a long slow drink, still studying him, “so you basically revived a dying business and made a fortune? Is there anything you can’t do?”

He returned her look, studying her for an age, and she suddenly realised the innuendo she’d created, “there are a lot of things I SHOULDN’T do, but maybe very little I can’t do?”

She swooned, in exactly the same way she imagined a fifties’ film star would, her knees felt weak, her head cloudy, her heart raced as she thought of exactly the things she wished he would do!

He chuckled, “I love how honestly you react! I can read you like a book.”

Cosmo watched as she got even pinker in the cheeks, if that was possible. He loved her frankness, her openness. From someone who was married to a conniving attention seeker, he found the whole thing refreshing, special.

                “What do you mean?” she asked quietly.

He grinned, “I don’t mean it in a bad way. It’s just amazing seeing someone laugh, blush, gasp, frown – you don’t hide your reaction to things.” He sighed, “my life is filled with people who think before they speak or act. You are refreshing Heidi, really you are.”

                “I’m no actress you mean!” she laughed, “that’s me! I can never get away with anything.”

He reached out and tucked a stray curl behind her ear, wanting this evening to last forever, he loved her eagerness, her unique view on life, yes she was definitely different to Eleni.....he fought to push his wife from his mind, focussing once again on Heidi, “it’s a beautiful trait Heidi don’t ever change!”

In true to form fashion, she took a step back, shocked, stunned and a little embarrassed. He could see her step back, distance herself from the effect he was having on her, he knew she was attracted to him, and the feeling was more than mutual.

                “I’m going to paddle in the sea. Want to cool down my feet. I’ll maybe you tomorrow Cosmo?”

As she turned on her rather wobbly heel, he ran after her. “Do you think I’m going to just let you walk over there on your own?”

She shrugged, “going! Don’t care.”

Laughing he jogged after her, watching as she kicked off her beautiful heeled sandals, then scooping to retrieve them from the sand. By the time she was knee deep in the water; he had his trousers rolled up and his shoes and socks off, and was wading in after her.

                “Heidi! Be careful!” He warned as he took long strides in her direction.

She was striding through the deepening yet extremely calm water trying to put some distance between them when she lost her footing. Taking a deep breath and anticipating cool water closing over her head as she fell she closed her eyes, only to feel herself being dragged in the opposite direction, to land plastered up against Cosmo’s chest, his strong arms wrapped around her.

She looked up, his elegant cheek bones and dark eyes were lit up by the moonlight and with a sigh, she sank into him. Despite the darkness, her eyes were mesmerised by his, as he studied her, the warmth, the interest, and what she knew was desire. Raw, unadulterated desire that made her body thrum with anticipation, with her own desire. She was so absorbed with her own feelings, and the affect on him, that she was completely unaware as he started to move his head down to hers.

                “Oh Heidi,” he breathed against her cheek, and the last ounce of her resolve ended there. His fingers lifted her jaw, and despite feeling it happen, she was still startled when his lips touched hers, she was overwhelmed with a multitude of sensations. His lips were warm, soft yet firm, brushing over hers, trying to tease them apart, his wet tongue flicking at her them. With a sigh, she felt her lips reciprocate, move with his, duel for dominance, then part allowing him access to her mouth, to find her tongue with his, to tease it, then he was nibbling, suckling her bottom lip, his hands pulling her closer to him.

Groaning into his mouth, she felt her heart race; her chest tight, the need to touch him was unbearable, so she dragged his shirt free of his trousers and slid her hands onto his smooth warm skin, and it was perfect.

She hadn’t felt this way in so long. She’d NEVER felt this way. At the back of her mind a small voice tried to shout out that this was wrong. He was married; to her soon to be sister-in-law, but the desire and the passion won, and her tongue invaded his mouth as her hands ran up his back.

It was his turn to moan, the pressure and manipulation of his lips increasing as his arms secured her close to him. She could feel his erection firm against her lower tummy, and the butterflies there became rollercoaster style surges as he traced kisses over her cheek, jaw, then down to her neck, a hand lowered to her buttocks, the other sliding up her ribcage to rest just below her breast.

Suddenly she pulled away; she was mid calf deep in the cool ocean, entwined around a married man. Stepping back she shook her head, “this is wrong Cosmo!”

As Cosmo watched her move away from him, he came after her, she was right, this was wrong, but he had no control over anything. He’d never felt like this, never. “I don’t know myself around you!”

                “You’re MARRIED! How final do things have to be?” She was shaking her head, muttering, “so wrong...”

He reached for her hand and tried to restrain her, “you’ve never met Eleni...if you had you’d know...”

                “Know what? That she’s the perfect woman. This isn’t her fault. You can’t blame it on her.”

Sighing he squeezed her hand, “I’m not blaming it on her, I’m just saying...things aren‘t as simple as that.”

She shook her head, lifting her chin defiantly, “is this just some great joke? Are you laughing at the plain little English girl who’s making a fool of herself? Do you get off on this?”

He shook his head, “I am not laughing at you, and you are anything but plain Heidi. You are beautiful, and I can’t control myself around you. I promise.”

Cosmo reached out for her again, but Heidi side stepped it. His words were flattering, and it was so tempting to drop everything including her conscience and morals and give in to her feelings. But he was married, he was taken. This was against everything she believed in, she’d learned that married men were taken in the most cruel of ways; she wasn’t able to open herself to hurt, not again. As if there was any doubt, she kept seeing her mother, happy for the first time in ages, this would devastate her, it could ruin everything, was there anything lower than having an affair with a married man? She’d sworn that she’d never do that to another woman. Never be part of adultery.

Shaking her hands free she turned and ran, ignoring her shoes, still sat on the sand next to hers, she headed to the road and into the first taxi she saw, without as much as a backwards glance.