Nothing Left to Lose - Part One

Chapter One

A/N So after the writer’s block and delays, for the first time ever I am abandoning the last story. I’ve not given up on it, I’ll go back to it, but I really need to get my mojo back. This is a story that I started to post years ago on a different site (can’t remember where) but I want to revamp and finish. Hopefully that’ll free me up then to complete You Got It Wrong. So sorry to disappoint.

All comments gratefully received.

“She’s getting married!”

Heidi Mortimer wished she’d never picked up the phone, she was tempted to drop her head onto her desk and close her ears, but she couldn’t. She heard the voice, knew it was her brother’s, but couldn’t contemplate who ‘she’ was.  Holding the phone at arm’s length, she looked at it quizzically, then returned it to her ear. “What? Who?”

Lucas laughed, “mother dearest! She’s getting married. Seven months a widow, and all of a sudden she’s in love AND getting married!”

Heidi sat down abruptly, glad that she was near a comfy chair; this was all rather sudden, and horrendously bizarre. She hated that she could feel tears prickle at her eyes, her heart had broken when her father had died, and it was all still so raw that she couldn’t imagine that her mother was ready to move on already. But then what would she know? She’d barely spoken to her mother in that time, let alone visited her in the family home in Cyprus. “Really?”

She could hear Lucas breathing erratically as he paced the room, a mannerism so typically him, she could vividly imagine him pacing his riverside pad, probably stepping between some of the many women who throw themselves at him regularly. He never could resist a desperate female, and wow, did they all seem to love him. “Oh yes, really! He is apparently a Greek shipping magnate, and they are head over heels in love.”

                “Shit!” Heidi leaned back in the chair and closed her eyes, “this all sounds rather surreal.”

Lucas laughed out loud, “that little sis is an understatement...but the fact that he’s rich, successful, and means we may a little less to worry about?”

                “I suppose you’re right. It sounds selfish, but I know where you’re coming from, at least she isn’t going to end up penniless in a couple of years...so how do you know all this?”

Chuckling again he replied, “I have my spies.”

                “You heard it via Fred?” she closed her eyes letting her head hang back. Since the first day of primary school he’d been inseparable best friends with Freddie. Coincidentally both their mothers were also best friends.  Over the years Cheryl, had been the font of all knowledge when it came to their mother, all relayed via Freddie.

Lucas was spluttering and it dragged her back to the here and now, “actually Cheryl herself called me! I think she’s secretly concerned it’s too soon. We need to check up on her, don’t we?”

Heidi thought for a few moments, “does this mean I’ve got to drop everything and head to Cyprus?”

Lucas sighed, “you handle her so much better than I can do.”

                “Coward!” she replied indignantly, but she knew that her brother would be useless in this situation, so with an air of inevitability, she hung up.

It wasn’t easy to just walk away from work. Heidi had worked so hard to be who she was, chief designer for her own clothing label. It had brought her immense pride and satisfaction from day one, but two years ago, she’d been spearheaded to design a budget range of clothing for a huge supermarket chain. Everything she ever wanted. Whilst she wasn’t a household name, her clothing was, and as a designer she couldn’t be anything but happy. As each season approached she was inundated with deadlines, and she thrived on it. But typically her mother couldn’t announce this news (not that it had been announced to her formally) when she had just released the latest range. Instead here she was a month before D-day trying to organise every possible outcome of every possible situation so that she could go council her mother and her new fiancé.

Fortunately she had the best assistant in the world, Polly was awesome, she seemed to know what Heidi was thinking before Heidi did – invaluable in business. The next morning her trusted colleague was blasé at the thought of her designer boss being absent.

                “You HAVE to go Heidi, I can handle everything...you’re only ever a Blackberry message away. Honest.”

Heidi paced the room, her shoulder length dark hair masking her frown of concern, “but there are the final fittings...”

                “Which I can do!”

She looked up, “the accessories have to be approved!”

Polly laughed, “I can email you the photos, you can email me back. Anything else?”

Heidi stopped suddenly almost dramatically falling off her high heels in panic, “the factory...”

Grinning Polly patted her on the back, “I called the manager earlier and faxed over the paperwork, they’re waiting on confirmation of the quality of the fabric before they mass produce. It’s all in hand Heidi! This can literally run itself. I swear.”

Heidi flopped in to her seat behind the huge mahogany desk that filled her office. She’d bought the desk before she had the office; it was antique, previously owned by some legendary QC. She’d picked it up at an auction where she’d intended to purchase a rare Singer sewing machine. She lost the machine, but gained THE most awesome desk that she’d ever seen. Not that it was cheap or a bargain...but it made her feel successful. But today she could admit easily that it was more to do with her luck finding Polly than a wooden desk. “You’re a star. I’ve got two days to sort things, I’ll be back for the launch, I promise.”

Within seconds she was tapping into her computer finding a flight.

Unfortunately Heidi’s boyfriend was less enthusiastic. She’d met Casey at a party held by her agent six months earlier; he was a City banker, who loved working and playing hard in equal measure. She fitted snugly into the latter part, her quirky dress sense and curvy figure made her stand out amongst the crowd he associated with, and she knew that her uniqueness made him feel special. They never failed to gain attention, her with her unusual designs; him in his well cut suits. He was over six foot, blonde, and physically very fit. In fact he ticked all the boxes that most women seemed to desire in terms of attractive qualities. But for Heidi there was something missing. But then there was always something missing. She’d yet to find a man that she cared enough about, this time was no different, she had once again fallen into a relationship out of convenience rather than anything more.

She was packing things into a holdall when the doorbell rang that night, opening the door she saw Casey impeccable as ever, scowling down at her.

                “You’re going away? Were you going to even tell me?” he burst past her into the lounge, helping himself to a glass of wine from the bottle on the side table.

She bit back her anger at his over familiarity, “sorry Casey things have crept up on me, this is all a bit last minute.”

                “That’s a reason? You leave me in the dark so that your secretary can tell me gloatingly about you going away instead?”

Heidi stopped turning to square up to him, “A – Polly ISN’T my secretary and B – there was nothing gloating or underhand about it all. You are paranoid. I’ve got a family crisis and it just so happens that my mother lives in Cyprus, hardly the other side of town. Now if you have nothing nicer to say, you can leave that wine and go, I’ll see you when I get back.”

She turned back to the sofa, and the mountain of clothes she’d shortlisted for her trip, after all it was the height of summer, and that meant glorious weather in Cyprus. She couldn’t afford to spend that much time there, but she also didn’t know how long it would take for her to get to grips with the whole situation. As she was folding some of her favourite strappy tops and sundresses, she heard the front door slam, and with a sigh she got on with her packing.

Two days later she was flying first class to Larnaca, continually working on her laptop until they landed four hours later, then she transferred to a taxi that wound down to her mother’s villa in the hills above the town. Heidi couldn’t fight the sadness in coming here. It reminded her of her Dad, this was her first visit since she’d attended his funeral seven months earlier.

Her parents had always travelled, her father had been a freelance nautical engineer, her mother his PA, organising his life. For the whole of her growing life he and her mother had taken short term contracts all over the globe. Heidi and Lucas had attended boarding school, something she’d hated, yet Lucas had loved, which just about summed up their polar opposite personalities. She’d been at the end of her University years when both parents finally retired to Cyprus. They’d visited lots, but it was never enough for her, not really, and within seven years her father was dead.

The short journey from the airport to her mother’s home passed quickly, and all too soon she was sliding out of the car and climbing up the short driveway to the beautiful villa. The pool, groomed gardens and lush sea view were the fodder of real estate brochures, but to her it was somewhere that would never be a home to her.

Barbara Mortimer was a small woman, her hair still naturally dark, her face lightly tanned from the constant sun. She was a hard worker, her father had always joked that she was the driving force behind his success, and since the death of Isaac Mortimer she had been lost. Her emails and occasional calls to Heidi had told her that. So where did this new man fit in? When had the grieving widow morphed into a lover, a fiancée?  Heidi was pondering that thought when she rounded the side of the house and recognised the familiar figure in the distance tending the award winning roses across the other side of the garden, the same roses that had been transferred to seven previous homes of the Mortimer’s.

                “Hello?” She called out.

Heidi smiled as she saw her mother freeze mid-prune as she recognised the voice of her daughter. Looking up the expressive face burst into an animated smile as she bounded across the gardens to embrace her daughter.

                “Why didn’t you tell me you were coming?” she squealed as she pulled her close after briefly holding her at arm’s length. “I could’ve picked you up, taken you for dinner....”

She reciprocated her mother’s embrace, and hugged her tightly, “I miss you Mama, we don’t see each other half as often as we should.”

                “I know,” she held Heidi and examined her closely as she continued, “I never come back to Britain darling, I know that I should visit you and Lucas more. It’s just even though we weren’t there much the last fifteen years,” she sighed, “...too many memories.”

Heidi smiled, “I know, I kind of feel the same about this place.” She looked up at the house. “I see Dad everywhere. That’s why I don’t come here more often.”

Her mother smiled, “we’ve all got our crosses to bear, hey? Look, I’ll cancel my hair appointment tomorrow now that you’re here...there’s so much we could do.”

Heidi shook her head, “don’t be silly, I can relax on the beach, I could do with some chill out time! I’ve got away from the chaos of London.”

Barbara linked arms with her daughter and led her into the house, “so what brings you out here so unexpectedly? Not that I’m not delighted to see you!”

                “I need a hug from my mother?” Heidi looked down at her.

Her mother smiled, “nothing to do with rumours of me getting engaged.”

Heidi sighed, “well there was a little mention of a Greek tycoon!”

With a pot of tea and some cakes, they sat on the veranda looking down to the azure seas of the coast in the distance. And as Barbara poured them a mug each, she smiled at Heidi.

                “It may seem quick darling, but I’m going into this with my eyes open, I promise.”

Heidi nodded, “I just wondered if this was anything to do with me and Lucas not getting out here very often.”

She shook her head, “I love you both and wish we all saw each other more, but I’m not lonely, honestly. I do miss your father every day, and Cesare understands that. He lost his wife a few years ago, she was English too, he misses her in the same way. I’m not looking to replace your father, or move on, I could never do that. We both know that we’ve had the best time with the love of our life, but we want a friend, support, companionship. That’s what we’ve got I promise. You’re in luck as he’s coming over tomorrow. He’s in Paphos on business, but has promised to come here for a day or so after that, he spends a lot of time in Greece.”

She smiled, “ah! So that explains the hair cut. Do I get a chance to vet him?”

Barbara laughed, a high pitched tinkle, “of course. But you’ll love him, I know you will. He’s wonderful!”

As she listened to her love crazed mother, she tried not to hate the stranger for attempting to fill the place of her father so quickly and without her or Lucas being informed.

They shared wine and ate a meal they made together that evening and talked about everything and nothing. It had been too long since they’d sat down together with no one else demanding their time or attention. Namely Lucas.

                “So you’ve got a new range coming out?”

Heidi nodded as she bit into a roast potato, chewing contemplatively, “autumn/winter launches in about four weeks.”

                “Oh Heidi, I’ve dragged you away from that? You should have stayed back home until you were freer.”

                “Nonsense, I pay an assistant to assure me that she can cope in my absence...I should have come sooner really. It shouldn’t have taken this to make me come see you.”

Barbara smiled, leaning back in her chair, “we’ve all held each other at arm’s length since we lost your Dad, haven’t we? Not just you, but me and Lucas too.”

Heidi moved to the fridge and got them another bottle of white wine, “so tell me about Cesare. Where did you meet?”