Reasons Why - 23

Chapter 23

 

Before she opened her eyes, Chloe could hear Chris talking to her parents. It was almost like watching something unfold from above, an out of body experience, but she knew she wasn’t dead...just very, very shocked. As she tried to fight the return to consciousness, held her eyes closed, she was left wondering just where Chris Petrakis had come from, and how much of her life story he’d heard.

                “She’s waking Mrs Palmer, we won’t need an ambulance!” Chris smiled with relief, and tried to move away some of the crowd who’d loved seeing some drama in the hallway and gathered in large groups. Along with Mr Palmer the three had managed to get Chloe to a bench, and she was now lying on there looking deathly pale.

Mrs Palmer sighed, “I guess she was surprised to see you Chris!”

He’d introduced himself as they tried to catch her, stop her hitting the ground in her dead faint. He smiled at the older woman and nodded, “I knew she’d hate it if I told her I was coming!”

She nodded, “she did mention you to us, but Phil told us more than her. Seems you’ve been good for her!”

He sighed, “I love her, I just hope she’ll talk to me!”

As her parents both looked on, Chloe started to open her eyes, when they landed on Chris, fear swept over her face.

                “You ok?” he asked from a squatted position his face level with hers, when she nodded and tried to sit up, he added, “well I don’t know what response I hoped for, but I didn’t think you’d be falling at my feet, or scared of me.”

She tried to smile, but it was a watery attempt, “I need to get up.”

Chris helped her, then led her and her parents out of the public eye. Out in the street, she closed her eyes, glad of the fresh breeze to cool her scalding cheeks.

Finally she turned to her parents, “can we meet at the Emerald Square for dinner as we planned,” she glanced at Chris, “it was Owen’s favourite restaurant, we promised we’d go there together when this was over.” She turned back to her parents, “Chris and I really need to talk.”

Her father nodded, kissing her cheek before shaking Chris’s hand, “we’ll see you at seven?”

Chloe smiled and watched them disappear back to their car. Then she turned to Chris. For a moment, all words failed her. She’d dreamt about him so much, but none of the images had done him justice. He really was beautiful, he’d lost weight, his face was more gaunt than in the summer, but his eyes were warm, hopeful, and his smile lit up the gloomy street.

                “You were magnificent today Chloe. I was so proud of you.”

She took a deep breath finding it hard to deal with that. He knew everything about her. And that was what was unsettling, plus the fact that she’d not expected him here, she’d ended it, told him clearly that there was no future in this, and she stood by that. Now he was here, talking to her parents, inveigling himself into her life.  Anger duelled with her desire for him that still overwhelmed her, but today was all about self preservation, and that didn’t include Chris Petrakis, she had to stick by that.

                “You shouldn’t have come,” her offer was quiet and controlled.

                “Why wouldn’t I? I love you, I wanted to support you, I should have been here holding your hand.”

She shook her head, “no Chris, I told you it was over, that hasn’t changed.”

He looked at her stunned, “you said the distance was an issue, I’m trying to prove it isn’t it, don’t push me away again.”

Chloe half smiled, “I need to find me. Can’t you see that? I need to work out where I go next. And I need to do it alone.”

Shaking his head he reached for her hands, and Chloe had to ignore the almost violent sensations his hands caused. “That’s bullshit Chloe Palmer, the very last thing you need is to turn away from me. I KNOW you feel the same, I just don’t understand why you’re being so stubborn.”

Snatching back her hands she remained firm, “thank you for your support Chris, but I really do need to meet my folks.”

As she turned to leave Chris fought the tears of frustration that threatened to fall, he hadn’t cried since he was in his teens and his grandpa died, “Chloe, aren’t I a friend?”

Turning back slowly, she nodded, “you’ve been a great friend.”

He tried to smile, but it was too hard, “then can’t I have one evening with you? Join you and your parents for dinner? I’ve travelled a long damn way to see you...”

He was pleading and her heart tugged with pain, he was right, even though she couldn’t cope with him being around full time, he deserved that time with her family, didn’t he? It wasn’t a lot to ask. Nodding she gestured across the road, “it’s only a ten minute walk away and we’ve got a n hour, I’ll buy you a beer.”

As soon as she walked in she realised that it was a mistake. The wine bar opposite the courthouse had been a regular haunt when she’d been working, and now as she led Chris to the bar, she realised that it was full of old colleagues and acquaintances.

It was almost like a scene from an old western where the whole place silenced as she stepped up to the bar, ignoring the unwanted attention, she ordered two drinks, smiling at the bartender. Conversations restarted and she felt the tension ease from her shoulders, and then Chris’s hand settled in the small of her back. He probably didn’t realise the full implications of the situation, but he was offering support.

Glancing up at him she smiled, “I didn’t think that this place is a hangout for my old colleagues, we should’ve gone further afield.”

His eyes widened knowingly, as he reached past her to hand the barman money for the drinks, then he led her to a high bench seat at one side of the room, it wasn’t a booth at the back of the room that she’d have chosen, and as though he felt her doubt, he leaned down to whisper, “you are not hiding Chloe.”

Perched next to her,  he smiled, “so, will those bastards who questioned you be here?”

She shrugged, “maybe. David...the one who didn’t speak...he was my boyfriend at the time.” She filled him in on the part of the evening of Owen’s death that hadn’t come up in court, and Chris felt as though he was about to explode. Those two men had purposely pulled her apart in the courtroom, not just to be witnessed by the people in the courtroom, but also the whole of the profession she’d grafted with for so long. The ultimate humiliation. And here she was brazening it out, dealing with it. She thought she was weak, but she was anything but.

                “You amaze me Chloe, you are so brave.”

She scoffed as she sipped at her drink, “don’t think so!”

He let it go, “is that a spritzer? Or just water?”

She smiled awkwardly, “sparkling water! I haven’t eaten for days, if I had beer or wine I’d be falling over in a few minutes!”

                “I’d catch you!” he grinned.

Where did this playful flirting come from? She wondered. All she wanted was to run away and hide, but he wasn’t letting that happen.

All of a sudden, the same silence swept across the room, a tense pause, and they both looked up to see Max Bremmer and David Golden stood at the bar. Chris sensed her move, her flight, but he restrained her, a hand on her thigh.

                “You’re better than them, better than this, ok?”

She was shaking and he wasn’t sure if that was through fear, anger or something else. At that second both men glanced nervously around the room, and he knew that their eyes had found Chloe, though both made great effort to appear undisturbed. Simultaneously they turned back to the bar and accepted drinks from whoever served them, then they both seemed anxious unsure of how to play this out. Chris was livid.

                “Let’s go front them out Chlo, this is your day, yours and Owen’s, don’t let them dwarf you!”

She shrugged, “I honestly thought I’d care, but I don’t.” The words sounded sincere but he could see that she was anything but comfortable, and as he saw Max turn as if to make his way across to them, inevitable that he couldn’t avoid her any longer, he lifted her chin so that delicate face looked at him, then dropped his lips on to hers. When he had to face her wrath for the presumption he’d quite honestly admit he’d waited weeks for that moment, but now with her pliant in his arms, responding in kind to the kiss in a passionate yet not inappropriate manner, he wanted to savour every second.

Etiquette dictated the kiss could only last seconds, and he pulled away, but that connection was back, he couldn’t drag his eyes from hers, and could only smile as she tried to look affronted, and failed.

                “I didn’t kiss you to prove a point to you, but merely to stop those bastards coming over here, but you can’t deny what we have is special Chloe. So special.”

She ran her fingers over his cheek, keeping up the pretence for the audience, whilst glowering at him close up, “I can and I will...I can’t do this Chris. I really can’t.”

He sighed,  “there’s nothing stopping us anymore. we’re meant to be together.”

Shaking her head she dropped her hands to her lap. She couldn’t get back into this, she really couldn’t. She didn’t know herself around him, and after the amount of different sides of her own personality she’d discovered the last eighteen months, she didn’t need that complication. She needed security, safety, and time to grow. She couldn’t love Chris as he wanted, but she knew that they could never be friends.

They sipped their drinks in silence, it wasn’t awkward despite their differing opinions, but there was also that was unsaid.

                “We should go,” he finally offered, “we need to meet your parents.”

Chloe nodded, “good call.”

But as she stood up, he pulled her back slightly, “introduce me to David. I want to stare the bastard in the eyes and see how much of a cowardly shit he really is.”

She thought to protest, but then nodded in agreement. As with their arrival, their departure was greeted with much interest. There was music playing now, but all small talk seemed to reduce significantly.

Max and David were stood in a group near the bar, and it would have been harder for the couple to have avoided them, but Chris strode straight towards them, holding Chloe’s hand firmly.

Sensing their approach Max was the first to turn to greet them, his face was a mask of confidence, he seemed cocksure, only the layer of perspiration on his top lip betrayed his anxiety. David on the other hand looked petrified.

                “David...” Chloe stared at him wondering how the hell she’d ever found him attractive. “Max...” The older man inclined his head.

                “Chloe.”

As acknowledgments went, it belied any warmth in their relationship.

                “This is Christos Petrakis. Chris, this is Max, my former boss, and this is his colleague David.” She smiled up at Chris, “we dated for a while if you can believe that!”

Chris smiled at her in a lazy, sexy way, “I can’t! Max, David.” He shook both by the hand, then dazzled them and the group that surrounded them, “so is this a celebration?” He looked slowly from face to face of both the men, and the half a dozen associates with them, then added, “I love it here in the UK, you celebrate fucking up like no other country! I hope that murderer in court doesn’t pay you, because you REALLY made yourselves look like idiots!” There were sniggers from the rest of the group and others who could hear. Then Chris took out a fifty pound note and handed it to the barman nearest him, “another bottle of celebratory champagne for the greatest defence attorneys who make the OJ Simpson case look flawless.”

Chloe was struggling to contain her laughter, the two men were stunned, the sniggers became full blown laughs as Chris received the champagne then topped up the two glasses.

                “That’s the thing with champagne, you know what you’re getting! If it says champagne then that’s what it is...not everything in life is like that, don’t you think?”

Chloe tugged his hand, and pulled him towards the door. The last thing either of them needed was a slander case against them, but as they reached the street, she burst into laughter, the sight of Max, his mouth open, eyes wide, David with his ugly frown, and that blush of embarrassment.  The saying was right, he who laughs last...definitely laughs longest.

Her parents laughed equally as hard when Chloe paraphrased the encounter over main course. The food in this place was hearty, and great quality. Owen had great taste, and the story only complimented the meal.

                “I wish I’d been there!” Her father laughed patting Chris on the back. “That’s exactly the sort of thing Owen would’ve done, he hated Chloe’s colleagues, didn’t he?”

Chloe laughed, “Owen hated anything that didn’t fit into his plans of drinking and sport! And that included anything linked to the law!”

Her mother laughed, “that’s true.” She reached out for Chloe’s hand and squeezed it, “it’s so nice that we can finally talk about him without it hurting us all so much.”

And Chloe realised that it was.

She watched Chris with her parents, he’d instantly won them over with his charm, good manners and genuine interest in everyone. her father had never had the opportunity to talk in such depth and detail about his work as a environmental engineer. He’d retired just before Owen died, and suddenly Chloe wondered if he’d spoken to anyone about it since. How dramatically his life had changed from proud breadwinner to the retired man who’d buried his son, all in three months.

Chloe thought about the advise that John Farmer her psychiatrist had given her, that people were all shaped by life experiences. For so long she’d been dictated to, not by Owen’s death, but her own guilt  to her reaction to it, he suicide attempt, her parents had also had to deal with almost losing her after losing Owen, that’s what she hated. But as they sat there, the four of them  laughing, she realised that individually, and as a family, they’d made a huge leap forward thanks to the court case. She vowed to call John and thank him again.

                “Well, I think it’s time that we turn in!” Her mother suddenly announced. Chloe looked up quickly to see her mother’s elaborate wink. “We can leave you youngsters to the partying!”

They left in a flurry of air kisses, and suddenly it was just the two of them again.