After All - Part Forty Eight

Chapter Forty Eight

It wasn’t easy, realising you were wrong, that your world had fallen apart because of something YOU did, for years Dylan had hidden behind Matilda, blaming her for everything that had happened, he’d fuelled that hatred as he’d surged emotionlessly into huge business decisions, and that had seen him reap rewards. All the while, the real victim of everything was suffering on SO many levels. He had to find her, he had to tell her that he loved her, he had to show her that he was sorry, and more than anything, to tell her he loved her, that he wanted to listen, wanted to talk as she’d tried to make him.

Dropping his head to his desk in frustration, he only wished it was that easy. No one knew where she was. It had taken him five days to track down a number for her father...or rather after four days; he found out that Gareth Davies, her brother, worked at a bank in Chiang Mai. And he’d just hung up on his ex brother-in-law who frankly had little to say to him, and was quick to remind him of how he’d disappeared so dramatically causing chaos in his wake. A few days earlier and Dylan would have taken that bait, shouted and screamed back, justified things...but he didn’t.

                “Will you ask her to call me Gareth? If you won’t let me speak to her.”

Gareth laughed, “speak to her? Call her? I haven’t seen her in the flesh for over a year, and other than the odd emails we don’t speak that often.”

                “She said she was coming to you, taking a holiday.”

A firm denial came down the line, “she had never visited here, though I invite her every holiday. Given up asking. Do the right thing Wallace...leave her alone.”

Dylan shook his head uncaring that he couldn’t see that, “no way. I love her Gareth, and I will do ANYTHING to make her realise that. If you see her tell her that!”

He looked at the phone that he’d slammed onto the receiver, he had no plan B. Sarah hadn’t heard from Matilda, he’d begged that information out of her friend, and had had to confess his intentions to her in great detail. Telling an employee that he was in love with her boss was something he thought he’d find embarrassing, or even humiliating, but it was quite liberating.

Picking up the phone again he called Brandy, she was still in town and she was always him most reliable asset.

                “Book me a flight to Thailand ASAP.”

                “Have you found her?” Brandy asked optimistically.

                “No,” he groaned, “but I can’t sit here doing nothing. If I’m there, I at least feel I’m doing SOMETHING.”

He could hear Brandy rustling papers, “do you know that she definitely went to Thailand?”

                “No.” Dylan hated the defeated sound in his own voice. “I’ve tried contacting a few PI’s, seeing if anyone can shed some light. But no one has got back to me.”

                “Leave it with me...I’ll call you as soon as I can...start packing.”

An hour later he’d packed, it was years since he’d taken time off, a holiday of sorts. Whilst that wasn’t what this was, he had to go, he had to see her, this wasn’t a whim, a luxury, sometime away. This was necessity, he had to find her, and then take as long as was necessary to convince her that he was what she wanted, the man she needed. It could take weeks...and he was willing to let everything go to rack and ruin at work, if that was what it took.

As he closed his bag he stood up stunned. That was it. He’d been willing to let her go to make his fortune, Matilda hadn’t been enough, he’d felt he needed more...suddenly he knew that had been his biggest mistake. It HADN’T been enough, being successful, being rich hadn’t made him happy, he didn’t have fun, he didn’t run along the riverbank holding hands in the rain, he didn’t laugh at old movies, he didn’t have tickle fights in bed on a Sunday morning, or come home to a home smelling of some delicious treat, none of that happened anymore, and he slept alone. Every night.

He’d packed what he felt were essentials, a couple of pairs of shorts, t-shirts, and dare he take swimming gear? He wore a pale suit to travel; he’d always liked to be impeccably dressed on a flight, even if it was long haul, and even if he was travelling into potentially tropical weather. He still had no idea where she was, but being in Thailand, he felt he was making a step in the right direction.

Back in his office he was loading his laptop and tablet into his travel bag, when the door burst open, “call me THE best PA a man can have and I might just share this with you.” Brandy was beaming, waving a piece of paper from the doorway.

                “What is it?” When she put a hand to her ear waiting for the compliment he groaned, “you KNOW you’re the greatest, stop fishing for compliments and give me that, whatever it is or I’ll bloody sack you!”

That made her laugh, and handing him the single page she smiled, “credit card used in the Prip Khan Resort, Hua Hin.”

He looked a little blank and she smiled, “it’s a coastal resort a couple of hours south of Bangkok.” Reaching in her other pocket she handed him another piece of paper. “British Airways to Bangkok from Heathrow, in four hours, with a transfer to the resort on arrival.”

                “How did you...”

She grinned, “got a contact who can tap into banking systems...completely illegal so I won’t say anything else, other than there’s a car on the way to take you to Heathrow.”

With a knowing smile she turned to leave, but him calling her name caused her to stop in her path, turning she found herself swamped by a bear hug from her boss, the first time she’d ever felt him =emotional fragility. When they pulled apart she smiled at him,” don’t screw this up, ok?”

He nodded, staring at her for a long moment, “I owe you...more than a pay rise.”

She laughed, “seeing you like this, finally going for what you believe in, it’s reward enough. Now go.”

As he reached reception a black limo was pulling up at the door, as he made for it, a voice called him and looking back he saw Sarah stood smiling, “bring her back?”

He nodded, gave a nervous smile, then rushed out to the car.

Hua Hin had seemed like a beach paradise when she arrived, and the more that Mattie explored, the more she loved it. The beaches were amazing, and she'd read a dozen books in the shade of the palm trees. She’d found an amazing and cheap restaurant serving freshly caught fish on stilts over the sea, then there were the streets filled with shops, and bars, and restaurants. There were also a lot of ex pats living there, in most places she wandered she'd struck up a conversation with a Brit or at least an English speaker who’d retired out there. Suddenly it was a little easier to fill the evenings. The days were still difficult, as were the night’s when a handsome dark man occupied her every thought, but when she was out socialising, she managed to relax.

Tonight there was a tribute band playing in a bar in town, and she’d decided to go there. A few drinks, some delicious food, then she’d be home and in bed by midnight. Her father had called and emailed her repeatedly, but she was in no rush to head up to Chiang Mai to see him, not yet, not when she was still prone to bursting into tears at every opportunity.

She’d bought so much since she’d been in Thailand, and tonight she dressed in a silk sarong, wrapping it around her body and knotting it behind her neck, her hair had been clipped up onto the top of her head since she’d arrived in the country, it was too hot to do anything else. No makeup, just a single necklace of beads, and shell covered flip-flops, she’d never felt so relaxed, London came with so much pretence, so many rules, as did her job, to be relaxed, casual, made such a difference.

The reception to the hotel was modern, marble, clean, almost sterile. Mattie smiled at the reception staff as she headed out in the direction of the town. The bar that had the band playing was a short walk. She found a table easily, near the small dance floor, and as a waiter approached she ordered a local beer and relaxed. The room got busier, and it was almost ten o’clock when two older women approached and asked to share her table. This happened most nights, and she was always grateful to meet new people.

                “So you’re here on your own?”

The two fifty year old American women were bubbly and fun, and for ten minutes had told her all about the trip they’d been planning for ten years. They were old school friends, and this was their big adventure, Japan, Malaysia, Singapore...after Thailand they were going to Cambodia and Vietnam, then home in another six weeks. But as with everyone else she met, the questions about the reasons behind her solo trip were inevitability.

                “My father lives in the North, I’m just relaxing before heading up to the mountains.”

They nodded, “sounds exciting, but a lovely looking girl like you should have a strong man to fight off the attention.” Madge, the blonde of the two nudged her then nodded in the direction of a table across the dance floor, several men sat there, they seemed to be tourists, which wasn’t uncommon and one man in particular kept glancing over.

                “I’m not interested Madge, this is a man free holiday!”

They both laughed, “we know that, don’t we Olivia?”

Olivia a glamorous brunette grinned, “both did twenty years of hellish marriage before realising there was more to life than being someone else’s servant. We’ve both been liberated since haven’t we?”

Madge nodded, “you bet. And who knew how popular us cougars could be?”

Mattie groaned, “too much information ladies, please!”

All three laughed. As the band cranked up, Madge and Olivia dominated the dance floor, and all too soon the young male tourists were dancing with them, whooping and hollering as they dirty danced their way around the room.

Mattie ordered a final beer; she’d go back after that, plan her trip to Chiang Mai. As it was placed on the table, the man who’d been watching her earlier lowered himself into Madge’s empty chair.

                “Mind if I join you?”

She sighed, this wasn’t what she wanted, “this is my last drink then I’m leaving.”

Shrugging he gestured for the waiter and ordered a beer himself, “I can accept fifteen minutes of sensible company!” He nodded with his head in the direction of the table he’d just left and the other members of his group who were obviously intent on partying.

“They’ve been like this since we left Manchester nine months ago. Some people never grow up!”

Mattie smiled, he was young, a lot younger than her, yet she had to admit he seemed more mature than any of his friends, and he was nothing like her type if she was looking, with his blond hair, blue eyes, and very tanned and muscular. But he had a funny laugh and a dimple in his right cheek when he smiled, so she sat back and stared at him. Grinning he held out a hand, “Paul, Paul Kenton.”

Taking his hand she grinned, “Matilda, Matilda Davies.” The use of her name surprised her, she’d been Mattie for so long, but she had no reason to hide anymore, no reason to be someone else. She was Matilda, and she was proud of that, for the first time in years.

                “I was hoping to have company whilst they parole like tomcats. Again.”

She had studied him then grinned, “company I can do, but definitely no more.”

Paul was funny, he sat with her, completely understanding that she wasn’t looking for a relationship, she didn’t go into detail, other than to say the trip was time to find herself again. He didn’t question her further, and it wasn’t until then that he admitted that he’d had more than his fingers burned by a woman he’d met in Australia, two months of passion and pleasure had ended when he’d found her in bed with someone else. Whilst they’d only been together a short while, he’d began to think about changing his plans, extending his time travelling as he was, and it had hurt him more than he thought possible. He told her that the first time he cast eyes on her he could sense the same lack of interest in her eyes, the same distrust and pain.

By the time he’d updated her on what sounded like a harem of women and incidents in various countries, they looked up to see the two mentioned men disappearing out of the door with the two self professed cougars, much to his continued amusement and embarrassment.

                “I don’t know who’s the more desperate,” he laughed.

Mattie grinned, “I think the women...they were so up for ensnaring a man tonight. Can’t believe they’ve got one young enough to be their son!”

Paul laughed, “those two will teach them a thing or two, don’t worry!”

Mattie drained her bottle, “I really should get back.”

                “I’ll walk you.”

She shook her head, “I shouldn’t.” She was nervous, he was a stranger. Anything could happen.

Sensing her fear he sighed, “you’re right to be worried, but I assure you I’m a boy scout. And I won’t sleep until I know you’re home safely.”

She eyed him suspiciously for a while, “I’ve got a rape alarm and a demon right hook.”

That made him laugh, “remind me to stand on the right side of you!”

Offering her an elbow, she nodded, tucking her hand into it, then allowed him to lead her out of the bar.

It was still hot, but the humidity of the day was gone and as they walked he pointed out the hotel they were staying in along the beach, “nowhere as posh as this one!”

She smiled, “well I’m a working woman, not a student like you.”

He nodded, “woman not girl, duly noted.”

They got to the entrance to her hotel, “thanks for the escort, I wasn’t in any danger, but it’s nice to have company in the dark.”

He grinned, “glad to be at you service!” He gave a mock bow, then turned to kiss her on the cheek. “If you fancy some company tomorrow or the next few days you know where we are. Leave a message at reception.”

She grinned, “thanks Paul, you are a nice guy. If I wasn’t so screwed up over things...”

Chuckling he nodded his head, “me too.”

Then she threw her arms around him and gave him a hug, kissing his cheek. “You’ve cheered me up.”

As she turned to walk into the hotel she stopped dead in her tracks.

                “You ok?” Paul asked, noting her hesitation.

She nodded without looking at him, “the screwed up shit...that’s it.”

Paul’s eyes followed hers to the man stood scowling in the doorway. Dylan.