After All - Part Thirty Seven

Chapter Thirty Seven

Mattie was sinking; Dylan was everywhere, around her, in her, above her below her. His lips were at hers, worrying, tasting, moving, feeling, then his tongue was challenging, duelling, teasing. She felt a hand settle on her hip, the other snaked up her body to settle so closely to her breast that her whole body throbbed in anticipation. She wanted to lean into him, let him take the weight, take control, but she couldn’t fight that doubt in her mind, the place that seemed to overpower her thoughts even in this most discerning of moments.

                “Are you sure that there are enough rooms Mr Wallace?”

The door was thrown open by a still over excited Sarah, and Mattie was able to both come to her senses and drag herself away from Dylan before Sarah followed that voice into the room. If there was any tension between her and Dylan, her friend seemed oblivious.

Dylan was flustered for a moment, and it was good for Mattie, it gave an insight into how much this she meant to him, because she was still unsure.

                “There are ten spare rooms; Matilda can take my suite...” He smiled when her eyes flicked up to his, “I’ve got two rooms! Sarah, you just get your girlies here, Matilda and I will do the rest.  Ok?”

She nodded, and then literally skipped out of the room.

Mattie looked up at Dylan, and he was staring at him, giving a shake of the head she stepped away from him, “you promised me dinner, you said we’d talk. I told you I can’t do this.”

Sighing he perched on the desk, watching her put physical distance between them, “but you keep running away. You won’t come out for dinner - I’ve asked enough, you work, you hide...”

She felt the air leave her lungs in a long sigh, “you rush me, you want this to go too fast.”

                “What is there to be fast about? The attraction between us, it’s still there, that much is obvious.”

Closing her eyes she tried to fight the nausea inside her, “what good was attraction? Where did that get us?” She stood and stared at him, “it destroyed me, because it wasn’t enough. I don’t think I can do this, I don’t think I can let go again...”

His head dropped and he was quiet for a moment, “I don’t know what you want me to say.”

                “I don’t know either, but I suppose I need to know that this is what you want, that you’ll never abandon me again, leave me when I need you.”

                “You left me.” He protested, “you chose to end things, NOT me.”

She swiped at a tear that she hated to feel escape from her eye, “you chose money, you chose success over me. I needed you, my mother was dying, I was struggling...and you left. And I couldn’t cope, and...I made bad decisions, and I never make bad decisions, I never do the wrong thing, but that’s what you made me do...”

Dylan was staring at her, “I can’t apologise any more for what happened. It’s happened, I’m not proud of how I was...but I wanted to be the man you needed. Can’t you see that?”

                “I needed a husband, I needed my man beside me, the man I loved, and you weren’t there Dylan.”

                “Are you saying you’ll never get past this? Because we keep going round and round in circles, I hate how I hurt you, I told you that. But I can’t keep defending myself, trying to justify things. How many ways can I say I’m sorry?”

When she bit her lip, unsure of what to say, he shook his head, “do you want to try? Do you want to think about something, with me?”

Mattie had to decide, the one thing he was right about was that she couldn’t keep throwing all he’d done to her back at him, she had to work out whether she could forgive him.

                “I want to...I want to try...but I’m scared.”

Her honesty floored him, “I don’t want to hurt you, I never did.”

She nodded, “I know that.”

He stepped towards her, “we’ll take it slowly. I won’t push you, I won’t force this. It’s you at your pace.”  

                “You want this...me?”

Grinning Dylan took her hands in his, his thumbs massaging the palms, “I’ve never wanted anyone as much as I want you, and I’ve never regretted anything as much as I regret letting you walk out of my life. Things aren’t easy, but how I feel about you...it’s simple. I know what I want.”

Mattie felt tears well at her eyes, “really?”

He nodded, “god yes.” Smiling he cupped her chin, brought her eyes to his, “can’t you tell? Isn’t it obvious?”

When she shook her head, he gasped, “I’ve spent months fighting the desire to kiss you, and since I did kiss you I’ve been barely able to contain myself.”

It was music to Mattie’s ears, she wasn’t sure she’d ever be ok, ever be able to manage Dylan, he was so much more complex, vibrant and alive than she remembered, she’d always been a shadow to his limelight, and now that was even more obvious, but as he cradled her cheek in his hand, he brought his lips down to devour her, slowly, deliberately, she lost all conscious thought again.

Then he pulled his lips from hers, his breathing rapid, his eyes wide, “you’d better leave or I’ll never be able to hold on to my reserve.”

Wednesday she strolled in the hotel to the usual chaos, there were several business meetings in the restaurant and some of the conference rooms, wait staff were ferrying coffee and pastries from the kitchen on large trolleys and trays.  Mattie smiled; she loved the hubbub of the hotel when it was at its busiest. Glancing around she noted all the staff present and doing their jobs. They were a great team.

Sarah rushed past her as she headed for her office, “got a health and safety meeting with the council...I’ll be back at lunchtime, ok?”

Mattie was still nodding as she opened the door to her office.

As she fired up the computer, she noticed a small envelope on her desk, as the screen burst into life, she grabbed it and opened it quickly. Spilling out from inside came three bars of chocolate. Not just any chocolate but her favourite dark Godiva chocolate. More than three squares gave her a headache it was so rich, so strong. Her groan was almost lustful as she turned to fill her coffee machine, coffee and Godiva dark chocolate. She was about to reach heaven.

As she devoured a square she suddenly realised that she hadn’t acknowledged where it came from. But only one person knew about her love for this expensive delicacy.

Dylan.

Opening her email she sent him a brief note, “It never disappoints, Thanks.” No more was necessary.

It was several hours later that a reply flashed on her screen, “Godiva always makes me think of you...and our wedding. Dinner, tonight?”

She’d insisted on part of their wedding cake being Godiva chocolate, it was the only thing she’d really insisted on for the day, and so the top tier of it had been adorned with dozens of truffles, and throughout the day she’d stolen several. Dylan had laughed hysterically when he found the big bare patch on the back of the cake.

                “Can’t do. Have meeting with Mr Simon Gore of Gore Exports - he had a meeting here a few months ago. Anyway he wants to host a conference in November. So I probably won’t be done until seven or maybe later.”  She paused for a minute, this was the olive branch, this was him trying. “Coffee? About three on the terrace. Sorry I can’t offer more.”

Dylan was SO frustrated at yet another snub from Matilda, all he wanted was to get out of the hotel, neutralise their relationship, and get away from the staff. Instead she had suggested coffee. He was tempted to decline...be busy himself - that was no lie, but then this was exactly her point; he needed to meet her in the middle.

Rolling his eyes he sent a quick note, “Three is great. I’ll see you there.”

His plans for the girls’ weekend were running fairly smoothly. He’d have time for coffee.

Matilda was sat in the sun, her hair almost luminous in the bright rays, a pair of dark sunglasses covered her eyes, but even from this distance he could see she was studying the papers in her hands intently. She was such a beautiful woman, understated, unaware, which may have been part of the attraction. Her head was tipped forward now, her hair like a veil, but that only served to reveal her slender and elegant neck. He had the sudden urge to sink his teeth into that smooth flesh, giving himself a shake, he quickly fought to lose that thought, because if his eyes dropped down to the slope of her breasts, visible over her low shaped neckline, of the curve of her hip...

                “You ok Mr Wallace?” A voice to his left pulled him from his reverie in an instant, “can I get you anything?”

Mel, her name badge offered was a waitress he didn’t recognise, and he greeted her with a generous smile, “thank you Mel, but I’m meeting Mattie.” He nodded in his ex wife’s direction, “thank you anyway.”

Mattie looked up as he approached and his stomach lurched. Her eyes glittered over the top of her glasses, and she’d pulled her bottom lip between her teeth, she was anxious.

                “Hi.” He offered, sliding into the chair opposite her. “How’s your day?”

She shrugged, “ok, better now.”

He liked that and it made him smile, “so you’re meeting Gore? I spoke to him a while ago, a nice guy.”

She nodded, “he wants a conference for his international suppliers, fifty or more bedrooms, conference room, dinners...maybe even a ball type event at the end of the week.”

He nodded, “that’s amazing, a real earner.”

Nodding she gestured to the waitress who came across and took their orders, then she turned back to Dylan, “it can put us on the map...I mean a conference of this magnitude a couple of times a year...”

                “You don’t need to explain that to me! It’s brilliant.”

Their coffee arrived and he lifted the cup to take a sip watching her all the time, “you look good.”

That caused her to lift her head her cheeks flushed and he wanted to reach out and kiss her more than anything.

                “You have no idea how difficult it is to sit here and not touch you.” He said that in a hushed whisper, and the flare of her eyes, the little gasp that escaped her lips, it was all a slow torturous build up.

                “Dylan...please.”

He grinned, “it’s ok, I’m being subtle. No one knows exactly how turned on I am by just sitting with you.” She gasped again and he sighed with pleasure, “I just have to prove that I can control that desire, because I want more than sex Matilda, I want EVERYTHING.”

Those last words were the hardest thing to get out of her brain. But in order to be ready for the coming weekend, she had to work late, nose to the grindstone as well as calm Sarah who was getting more and more hysterical with a mixture of panic and excitement. Thursday afternoon as they were both about to leave for a night at home before checking into the hotel for a couple of nights, Dylan followed them into the office.

                “Here are you itineraries for the weekend, complete with dress code. Tell you girls.” With that he gave a mock bow and exited.

He’d left no stone unturned, Friday afternoon there was the trip up the Thames on the large helicopter, including a stop at Windsor for afternoon tea, then in the evening there was a cocktail evening in the boardroom. Saturday morning they had a spa session booked, then champagne tasting on the veranda, followed by a casino night, again in the board room.

Sarah’s face dropped in surprise, “this is amazing. It’ll be THE perfect weekend. Oh...my...God!” She ran out the room chasing after Dylan. Mattie’s response was to pull out her phone and text him.

                “You are amazing Dylan, thank you SO much.”

A few seconds later he replied, “Never thought I’d read those words from you, makes it ALL worthwhile,J”

Back at the flat she packed a bag, now needing a cocktail dress of two, heels and bags, it was a long time since she’d had the chance to dress up and she was looking forward to it. As she was trying to work out which heels suited, there was a knock at the door, and opening she smiled as she saw Andy with a bottle of wine.

                “Thought if I descended on you you couldn’t put off having a drink with me.”

She sighed, “sorry Andy, I have been ridiculously busy, I’ve been putting in seventy hour weeks. It’s great to see you though, how are things?”

She invited him in and watched as he studied the room slowly, “posh place.”

He said it with a scowl, and Mattie knew that he didn’t hold Dylan in very high regard.

                “I told you it’s temporary, Dylan’s just helping me out. Shall I get a bottle opener?”

Nodding he watched her as she moved across the room, “you going away?”

                “Sarah’s hen weekend.” Suddenly it was important for him to not know where that was being held, she was protective of her fledgling relationship with Dylan, she didn’t need Andy pouring scorn on it, it was fragile enough. “It’s full on. What you doing the weekend?”

He shrugged, “working tomorrow night, going to watch the football on Saturday...then lunch Sunday.”

Mattie lowered herself in to the seat opposite him, in the duration of their friendship they’d never struggled for conversation, but suddenly they seemed a million miles apart, so little in common.

Her phone bleeped and glancing at it briefly, she saw Dylan’s name, and the message, “Missing you,” on the screen, and suddenly she knew that was mutual...

I love him, she sighed as she stared at her handset, I’m in capable of choosing anything but him!  Suddenly she couldn’t wait for the weekend to be over, she wanted to tell him...to show him how she felt.