Nothing Left to Lose - Part Thirteen

Chapter Thirteen

A/N Sorry at this delay. Laptop crashed and took this whole chapter. Rewriting is never as good, so a bit disappointed. But hey-ho. Hope you're enjoying. This is a safe story really, but starting on the next already which is looking to be far more lively!

Reaching for her bag, Heidi took what felt like the last breath she was ever going to, and hurtled out the front door like a whirlwind down the steps until she was stopped dead by a firm broad chest half way into her descent. His scent wrapped around her like a blanket, his eyes warmed her to the core, the only response she could make to his proximity was a moan of relief and pleasure.

But that same feeling was reciprocated in his eyes, “if I had thought you had any doubt, I don’t now....” he cupped her cheek meeting her eyes with his determined gaze.

                “You thought I didn’t want to come with you?”

He gave a shrug, “it’s not been the easiest path to this point.” She tried to smile but failed, she was too nervous. “Hey! Please don’t be scared.”

                “I’m not scared...it’s just...” her words were lost as his lips met hers, and suddenly she was anything but scared. Their two previous kisses had been passionate, furious, desperate, but this one was filled with promise, and so much more. His lips touched softly, his tongue seeking hers, his hands securing her close to him.

When he finally pulled away she felt dazed, stunned.

He smiled as he looked down at her, “I feel the same way agápi mou! But we have an isolated cottage waiting, and it’ll be a shame to not make it that far.”

 She nodded, allowing him to lead her by the hand, down the stairs and out into the street. His hired top of the range saloon was parked on yellow lines, so they both slid in a quickly as possible and he hit the accelerator, heading for the suburbs, and the route out of the city.

The traffic was heavy as they pulled out of her road, and Cosmo handed her a page with directions printed neatly.

                “Will you be my navigator?”

She took the paper and studied it for a moment, “of course!”

                “So tell me about your week.”

Cosmo was finding it all so distracting, the traffic, the weather...and the aroma and vision of the woman beside him who seemed to fill the vehicle with her energy and presence. Conversation, that was safer.

Giving a quick glance to his right, he saw her watching him in wonder, “my week?”

He nodded, “yes.”

He glanced at her again and she sighed letting her head fall back to the headrest and closed her eyes, “well I’m quiet at work, for another few weeks. The calm before the next storm. So I’ve worked my fingers to the bone and managed to finish my mother’s wedding dress.”

                “Wow.” He was amazed and stunned that she’d done that much for someone who seemed to repeatedly treat her badly. Before he could say that, she carried on. “But as you know, I’m struggling on what I can wear. I’ve got a few ideas. But time is ticking on; we’re getting closer to D-day.” With a puff of air she blew the hair out of her eyes, “I am so relieved that I’m not a bridesmaid. Can you imagine me and Eleni? Standing together. Matching dresses.” She shook her head, then met his eyes as he glanced across at her.

He still couldn’t believe that Eleni had the world eating out of her hand. After all that had happened, no one could see her true colours, from child hood she’d been indulged, and despite her growing years, that wasn’t changing.  But then he himself had been guilty of that too, he’d been young, enthusiastic and was starting to reap the rewards of his hard work when he’d met Cesare, and all too soon they were talking about merging some of their businesses. But Cesare’s concern over his daughter was such an obvious battle that it was influencing the decisions they were trying to make.

Then one day they met, and immediately he seemed to be the centre of her map. She was in with the wrong crowd, dabbling with drink, drugs, and when she got arrested, it was Cosmo she’d called. Looking back he’d seen her devotion as love, and even now he cared about her. But he’d got sucked into marrying her because he felt responsible. Again he glanced at Heidi. Already his feelings for her eclipsed anything he’d ever had for Eleni, but still everyone seemed to pander to her, place her on a pedestal. And he hated it.

                “Despite what you might think, I know that you would look radiant in anything. You would cast shadow on her.”

She laughed out loud, “hardly! She’s beautiful.”

Cosmo pulled the car over to the side of the road regardless of the heavy traffic, then turned to her, his face fraught with anxiety, “you are far more beautiful than her Heidi. In every way. You eyes sparkle with zest for life, with enthusiasm, your lips are the most kissable that I have ever seen, your skin is perfect, your hair mesmerising, and your body has an effect on me that I am too gentlemanly to describe. And for all that you are delightful on the outside; you are radiant on the inside. You see the good in everyone, you sacrifice your time and effort for others, you are good.” He took a deep breath then took her hands in his, “and for all that, when you walk in the room I see or hear no one else. She has never had that effect on me. No one ever has.” He took her hand and squeezed it. “Don’t ever feel you don’t compare to her again, because it is completely the other way around. Ok?”

Heidi smiled nervously, “hmm. I’m not sure I agree. I didn’t know you felt that strongly about things!”

Finally the seriousness disappeared and his face broke into a smile, “I do, I really do. I just wish you could see yourself as I see you.”

Silence once again washed over the car as the miles disappeared, classical music coming out of the car stereo, the lack of conversation was comfortable, both were happy in each others’ company.  As they pulled off the motorway, Heidi needed the instructions, and together they negotiated the cold wet and dark night. Once they reached the small village, the cottage was easy to find, and with a sigh of satisfaction, Cosmo pulled the car to a stop in the picture postcard courtyard. The small house had rose bushes lining the path to the door and thick green ivy climbed over most of the walls. In the darkness of the winter evening they couldn’t see much else, but instantly Heidi loved it.

Cosmo climbed out of the car, then came around to open the door for her, “come on, let’s get into the warm.”

Rooting around in his pocket he found the keys, then unlocked the wooden door. The house was in darkness, and as he flicked on the hallway light, Cosmo smiled at Heidi.

“Why don’t you find the kettle for coffee? I’ll get the bags from the car.”

It was a quaint house personified, a small lounge with thick rugs and an overstuffed sofa and an open fire was behind the first door in the hall, and the second was the staircase presumably leading upstairs. The third and furthest door opened to an open plan kitchen/dining room that was dominated by a wood burner. A little investigation in a few cupboards meant she found the kettle and some coffee and was stirring the two mugs when Cosmo followed her into the kitchen.

                “This is a lovely place, hey?”

She smiled handing him a mug, “beautiful. They’ve only got instant coffee, sorry.” He shrugged taking the mug gratefully. “It’s all a little surreal too. Being here with you.”

He sighed, “I know, those warm nights in Larnaca seem so far away!”

                “A lot has happened in the four months since.”

He reached out and tucked a stray wisp of hair behind her ear, “four months of thinking of you constantly. You blew my mind the first time I set eyes on you in that restaurant. It feels like it’s been such a long time getting the chance to be with you, like this.”

Heidi fought the feelings of anxiety she associated with being with him as she looked up into his eyes, “it’s not going to be this easy.”

Cupping her cheek, sending tingles through her body, he dropped a kiss on her forehead “we deserve this Heidi, we’ve been patient, we’ve done things right, but I really wanted to be here with you. We won’t let people destroy this. Ok.” A flicker of nerves marred her face for a moment, so he stroked her cheek with his thumb, his eyes never leaving hers. “Being here with you, it isn’t about sex. I didn’t just arrange this to get you into bed Heidi, this is what this is. We need to spend time together, get to know each other more, away from friends and family. Have the chance to work out how we can make this work.”

She sighed; she’d not expected him to be so honest, so open with his feelings. The things he was saying, from anyone else would sound contrived, exactly as though they were talking her into bed, but she didn’t feel that way about him. She knew that much.

Nodding she knew she had to relax, give this a chance, “it’s a good idea. I’m really glad I’m here, with you. I want this time too.”

Then his eyes lit with a beautiful smile, “I’m going to light this burner. If we get some heat here, then we can go out to the pub. The food is more than recommended there, dinner plus a glass of wine or two. It’ll be warm when we come back. What do you say?”

A few minutes later he came downstairs in a soft looking knitted sweater and worn jeans that moulded perfectly to his legs...and as he walked past her to retrieve his coat, she noted his arse too.

                “Come on, let’s get going.”

He held out her coat and helped her into it, then took her hand as they made their way out into the cold night.

The pub was as quaint as the rest of the village, a thatched roof, wattle and daubed walls, and more climbing gardenia and ivy adorning them. Inside a huge open fire place housed a roaring fire, and the bar consisted of mismatched sofas and chesterfield armchairs surrounding tables of various sizes. When they enquired after food, they were shown into the adjacent dining room that was lit by candlelight and far more intimidate.

As promised, they perused a menu which looked amazing, ordered hearty meals with vegetables and gravy with a bottle of red wine, then ate in a comfortable atmosphere, sipping at the wine as they murmured appreciation of the food.

Once they’d finished they rejected the thought of dessert, and moved to sit on a sofa nearer the fire, warming their feet. Cosmo had his arm along the back of the sofa, his fingers running through her hair. She rested her head back on his arm and let out a deep breath.

                “You ok?” he asked placing his glass on the table in front of them.

She turned to look at him lazily, “I’m drinking nice wine, have a full belly, and we’re nowhere near running out of conversation! I’m having a brilliant time.”

He smiled at her, “me too...” He dropped his mouth to her ear and added in a sultry whisper, “but if you keep looking at me like that I’ll break my promise to be good and devour you!”

She gasped at the arousal that comment brought, turning to look at him with wide eyes, “like what?”

                “The way I imagine you’ll look satiated on my pillow...” his smile was wicked, and her heart raced at the implications, tension like electricity bouncing between them.

                “Cosmo!” she managed in a hoarse voice.

He chuckled, a warm deep sound, “I apologise for being so honest! But I have never felt as happy, as content as I do today, here with you.”

She nodded at that, but suddenly the implications of the rest of the night lay in front of them both, and a level of anxiety rose. They both sipped their wine for a few minutes nervously, until they both burst out laughing. The tension was ridiculous.

                “Come on,” he reached for her coat, “let’s walk home.”

Wrapped up in their coats they trekked back to the cottage in the bracing winter wind.

                “Vino?” he smiled emerging from another trip out to the car in the cold. Heidi was curled up on the sofa, a soft, faded patchwork blanket folded over her feet.

She looked up at him with a bottle in each hand, “you think of everything!”

Cosmo laughed, she already loved the crinkles that formed around his eyes when it happened, “well if I had the forethought and brought it out of the car, this red wine wouldn’t be the temperature of ice!” He placed the bottle near fire to warm, then sat at Heidi’s feet, lifting them on to his lap.

Heidi had found some CD’s earlier, so soft music broke the silence of the room. And relaxing into the pillows she relaxed and closed her eyes as his hands started to massage her feet.

                “So what did you think of Nikos?” Cosmo asked after deeming the wine warm enough to consume and pouring them both a glass.

                “I was really glad he came to the meal, he’s a nice guy.” She sipped the wine then looked at him, “he’s completely not what I was expecting!”

 “I know. He’s so normal. No drama, no glamour, just a nice guy. Cesare is so disappointed that he’s academic. Well not disappointed...he just always hoped that Nikos would take on the business. That’ll never happen.”

She nodded, “he mentioned some pharmaceutical job in the Middle East...”

                “Near Dubai, a huge petrochemical plant, it’s a project into modifying fuel. He’ll end up with a Nobel Prize that man, and he’ll work harder than anyone else to get it. He’s SO motivated.”

Heidi smiled, “you like him.”

                “I have a lot of respect for him; he’s followed his goals, against the wishes and support of everyone. His life would have been easy of he’d followed the path behind his father, but no. He pushed the boundaries, worked hard. I admire that.”

She nodded, “but at least Cesare is proud of him, they’ve got a good relationship?”

Cosmo agreed, “they do now, but he’s had some rough times.”

                “Don’t we all!”

He started to massage her feet again, his thumbs running under the arch of one of them, “that sounds like a sad comment. What’s been happening?”

She shrugged, hardly able to concentrate with his hands still on her, “my mother is still self obsessed, and in fact she has taken it on herself to support Eleni of all things...because she’s devastated apparently at losing you.”

He laughed, “really? I don’t think so. She just isn’t used to things not going her way, that’s all this is.  But why is your mother so worried?”

                “I don’t know, I think she wants to keep Cesare happy. I don’t know. Even Lucas is obsessed with how wonderful she is...” she paused realising she may have said too much.

He laughed, “your silence means you’re hiding something and your brother is a womaniser...I don’t need a calculator to add the numbers Heidi. My devastated soon to be ex wife is never alone, don’t ever believe that.”

She took a few deep breaths before replying “I saw them together, I know no more, but don’t want to. But he does what he wants regardless. As you said in the summer he’s selfish...”

He was thoughtful for a few moments, “I don’t intend to influence how you feel.”

She laughed, “Cosmo,” she loved the way his name sounded, it fell off her lips and she wanted to repeat it in a mantra. “I don’t think that of course! You are one of the only people who have been honest with me. I appreciate that.”

                “I’m a married man who’s whisked you away for a weekend...” he raised an eyebrow in mock menace. “That is hardly honest and good behaviour.”

She placed a hand on her chest and fanned herself with her hand, swooning, “oh my, what will people say!”

                “So tell me about the dress dilemma,” Cosmo offered once he’d stopped laughing. He was finding it difficult to keep control of his emotions, he was so attracted to her that he wanted everything, but he knew that time, was important, they needed to get to know each other, build things up gradually, not fall into bed and hate each other the next day. A dress conversation sounded safe.

                “Well, it’s going to be cold, so I want something beautiful yet warm, but if I have anything tight I’m going to look huge next to Eleni!”

He shook his head, “don’t start that again. This is your last warning.”

She smiled, “that was not a comment of self pity, but she’s so petite...”

“Scrawny...” he counteracted.

“And beautifully elegant...”

“Cold and aloof!”

“And I’m so....busty!” she laughed.

                “Curvaceous and sexy Heidi! You cannot win this.”

Shit! Now he was looking at her curvaceous and sexy bits, the conversation had turned full circle. He really was a dog. Where were his manners?

                “So what have you decided on?” Safe. Dresses.

She paused for a moment, “long, straight and in winter colours? Green or red.”

Boom - a bolt of heat shot through him and suddenly he was having difficulty controlling his libido again, “sounds wonderful! You in red satin and fur...sounds like the perfect Christmas present.”

She laughed, “you don’t have to act interested in fashion.”

                “I am interested. I want to know everything about you, and every day until the wedding I’ll be trying to imagine you in the dress you’ve described. That’ll keep me warm for many a cold dark night.”

Heidi leaned into him slightly, relaxing more and more by the minute, “cheeky. I thought it’d be really awkward between us.”

                “There was a chance.” His one hand had somehow dropped from the back of the sofa and now lay on her bare shoulder.

Heidi could feel the pressure of his touch, the warmth of his hand, and could no longer focus on conversation. She turned to look at him at exactly the moment that he turned to her. HE was so close she could kiss him...leaning forward she parted her lips as his descended to meet them.