What about you? - 18

Chapter 18

Christmas Eve passed far too quickly for Kate. It was the most time she’d spent with her mother in a long time. They shopped, collected vegetables, then stood and prepared the magnificent feast that was their Christmas Dinner. Stuart was out working most of the day, but by the time they sat that night for the meal at the elaborately decorated Christmas table in the little used dining room, he was dressed ready for dinner and already tucking into the wine. She was sat next to Stuart, her mother opposite and Paula next to her, and the atmosphere was more than strained. How had she not known that this had happened? She was such a rubbish daughter. Sighing she smiled at her mother.

                “Absolutely THE best dinner ever mother! Hope there’s enough for seconds?” her eyes twinkled and she was rewarded with a blush from her mother.

Her mother laughed, but before she spoke her brother snapped more aggressively than was usual for him, “well there would be if we didn’t have to keep the leftovers for a Christmas dinner tomorrow yet again you swan in and make the world change to meet your needs.”

Kate paused in her eating, and the whole room silenced. Looking up she saw the shocked expression on her mother’s face, the frown and uncertainty on her brother’s, and lastly the feigned shock and smugness on Paula. She may well have put him up to this, but Kate had to admit she had put the family out a lot over the years.

Turning back to Stuart she felt pain at the hint of animosity in his eyes, “Stuart, you know how things have been. If something happened to Paula you’d do whatever you had to to help her get better. That’s all I’ve been doing. Trying to help him.”

                “But Paula’s my wife, so that’s obvious!”

Kate shook her head sadly, “and I was going to be his wife, if he hadn’t almost died in an accident. I’ve apologised to Mum, I know things haven’t been made any easier by me actions, but if I had my time over I’d still do the same thing. To me it’s the right thing. If you can’t cope with me being around then I really should not bother at all, because last thing Mum needs is us arguing like this.”

Stuart suddenly looked stunned, Kate knew she’d been more candid than he expected, but he deserved that, “that’d upset her more.”

                “Then we agree to disagree!”

Their mother looked devastated at the cross words, so Kate made light of it, praising her mother’s cooking, admiring the new picture of their father that hung over the fire, and generally being the perfect dinner guest.

                “I still haven’t seen your wedding photos!” Kate announced before the brandy soaked Christmas pudding made its appearance. “Have you had them from the photographer?”

For the first time all evening Paula suddenly engaged in conversation, “they’re upstairs, do you want me to get them?” When Kate nodded the younger girl disappeared with a smile on her face. Kate’s mother smiled at her, appreciating her breaking the ice, involving Paula in the evening.

It did however backfire on her. As she looked through the dozens of images she admired Paula’s dress, Stuart’s photogenic pics, her mother, the bridesmaid group, despite the fact that she was a whole head taller than the others and upsetting the balance. Then there was more distant family, friends...and then Mason. She’d almost forgotten how he looked. She couldn’t imagine him when she closed her eyes any more. But here he was smiling up from a group photo, the dark grey suit, pale blue shirt and dark tie all immaculate, and suddenly she remembered ripping them off, she’d last seen that suit tossed in a heap in the corner of his hotel room.

Gulping awkwardly, she lowered her head, hoping that her blush wasn’t as obvious as it felt. Her whole body had heated at those rather detailed memories. Committing his face, the chiselled features, soft lips, and warm eyes to memory, she flicked to the next picture hoping no one could hear the heart that hammered so violently in her chest.

As she slowly calmed down, she started to think about him more, or rather the fact that he still hadn’t returned her call. She had to thank him for making her see she had to change, this big decision to claw her life back wasn’t for him, it was for her, definitely. But the last few weeks she’d realised more and more that she wanted to see him, be with him, at least try and see if this passion that erupted between them had any longevity.

Damn him, she cursed silently to herself. This was typical him invading her Christmas, spoiling what little festive spirit she had left.  

Later that evening they exchanged gifts, Kate had no idea what to buy Paula, she didn’t oknow her, but the spa vouchers were an instant hit. Her mother she could buy presents for every day tehy’d once been so close, and even though they weren’t that way now, she still knew what to buy. Her favourite perfume, a new coat, a bag, her mother protested that she spent too much as usual, but Kate didn’t care, it went some way to appeasing the guilt that constantly surrounded her.

By the time they left for Midnight Mass, the four of them were much more amicable. Kate had loved her Christmas with her family despite the tension and occasional bad atmosphere, and she dreaded the next two days. Kate was still sad when she headed to her old childhood bedroom in the early hours of the morning for some sleep before the ninety minute journey to Peter’s family home.   

She was just climbing into bed when there was a gentle tap at the bedroom door, crossing the rooms he pulled open the door and smiled. There was a very morose looking Stuart.

                “Hey little bro, you ok?” She stepped back offering him into her room.

He nodded, then pulled her into a hug, “I’m sorry for earlier Kate, I DO miss you, and I think I understand what you’re going through more than Mum. I...” he looked at her intently, “It’s just there are so many times when I know you’d know the right thing to do. I always get things wrong.”

She’d never seen her brother close to tears before and it was a horrible sight. “Hey big man, what’s wrong? It can’t be that bad.”

Sighing he started to pace the room, “I took my frustrations out on you. It’s Mum...or rather Paula and Mum, they really don’t get on. I hate it when Paula’s rude to her, but she gets so upset when she’s back in our room. She doesn’t like living here, but she knew I lived here before we got married.” He paused, but she knew that he needed time to find the words.  

“She says she finds country living hard, then she’s snappy to Mum, rude. But when we’re alone she cries so much. I can’t just up and leave, she knew that when she met me...” He gave a groan, “I just knew that if you were here you’d be able to handle it.”

Dropped to sit on her bed, he looked up at her, “I mean what do I do? My mother and my wife! Whichever way I side I’m going to ostracise the other. It’s only been a couple of months and it feels like hell!”

Kate picked her way carefully through the highly emotional topic, “Mum mentioned she felt awkward, and I have thought about this a lot since I’ve been here Stu. And if Mum hadn’t said I’d have worked it out, the atmosphere is tenser than anything I’ve ever known. Mum has her own ways of doing things, but now you’ve got Paula wanting to make changed. You’re newlyweds, finding ways to get to know each other, live in harmony, yet you live with your mother who’s established and set in her ways! There’s a simple answer. You need your own place. Mum’ll be sad being on her own, I mean she’s not lived alone for thirty years. But if you give Paula her own kingdom, yet remain geographically close to Mum and the farm, then you can keep them both happy!”

He thought for a moment, “I can’t afford a place and there’s nowhere near...”

Patting his hand she grinned, “this is a farm, the one thing you have is land! Build your own home, or convert a barn. It’ll cost, but I’m sure with Mum, the farm, it can be done with those as collateral. Honestly. Look tomorrow suggest it, let the idea take root, then in the New Year I’ll help you sort things, ok?”

For the first time since she arrived he smiled, a real genuine smile, “I KNEW you’d help!”

                “And I promise to be there to help more! Ok?”

Kate had left before anyone other than her mother was up. Their hug was longer and more poignant than usual and as Kate kissed her mother’s cheek a second time, she knew she’d be back sooner than her mother imagined.

The drive across the English countryside from West to East was lengthened by the lack of major road winding through the rolling hills and picturesque villages. Any other time she’d have appreciated the view, the beauty of the route, but now, in a rush to get to her destination she didn’t. The roads were quiet, deserted, but there was a heavy frost and patches of ice, so she couldn’t take that advantage, and each bend in the road was treacherous.

A pleasant drive became traumatic, and she was never more grateful than the moment when she swung off the road into the long winding driveway that led to the Wightman house. When she’d met Peter in University the family had been big players in society being border aristocracy, a few steps away from the royal family. But the expensive to manage estate had bled the family dry, Peter’s father had taken on desperate investments to try and secure the future prior to his death, and they’d failed. So this beautiful stately house was starting to fall into disrepair. Clarissa was struggling to maintain it. But as was so typical in these situations, the house to her seemed to represent her family, her heritage, and selling up to downsize was incomprehensible.

Pulling across the front of the house, she pulled her car next to the other vehicle that sat outside. Then wrapping her coat around herself to fight the bracing cold, she jumped out and crossed the drive to the large imposing front door. Knocking she stamped up and down, trying to generate a little heat in her frozen limbs.

The door finally peeled back, and Kate almost passed out. Stood there a cocky knowing smile on his face in a soft looking v-neck fine knitted sweater, dark jeans that clung to his thighs far too well, and hair still damp from the shower, was Mason...looking edible. And Kate, after drinking in the sight of him for a moment, saw red!