A Different Class - 4

Chapter 4

The next few days were very long. She had text messages from Nat, but they were few and far between and only really commented on how hectic he was. She felt quite lost, one minute they were losing themselves in a kiss, feeling almost drugged with longing for each other, the next he barely exchanged more than pleasantries. When he wasn’t around she felt so many doubts and insecurities. 

She had felt nothing but insecurity since the day she came home from school on an average Friday to see Police cars outside her house. She'd done the walk a thousand times, and when she saw the cars, she knew what had happened, not the exact details, but that it was her mother. In fact, she had realised that she'd been constantly living in fear of this moment. 

A woman had met her and explained that she had to go with her. Dazed and confused she was taken to a nearby police station until a family liaison officer arrived and explained that her mother was dead. Later she found out that a neighbour had found her dead in a chair, empty tablet bottles scattered around the room. No letter, no message, no signs of love for Rebecca, but then her mother had died inside three years earlier, leaving a six year old to try and fight her way through the world with no real support.  No, Rebecca had been alone long before she went into care. She'd fought the world alone since her father had died.

That evening she was placed into foster care, a woman with two sons who whispered nasty things about her mother when their parents were out of the room. She lasted less than a week there, needing to fight them to protect her own psyche, and she was punished heavily for it. It was the same at the next five homes. Then she ended up fighting to survive in a children’s home. She’d blanked most of that period out of her head, but she had constant terrors of being spun back into that environment. Hostile and alone. Fighting for her next meal, next drink. 

It was only now that she realised, Nate was the first person who’d elicited that sort of response in her, one of such fear and insecurity in her for years, because he was the first person in years to make her feel alive, to attack her barriers and get close to her. Until now she had surrounded herself with ‘safe’ people, those she knew would never doubt her or threaten her security or sanity. She loved her friends, but had never opened herself up for this sort of infiltration since and she was terrified.

Friday finally came, she was looking forward to a break, and Stephen her boss insisted on buying the first round of celebratory drinks after a busy but successful working week. So she found herself sat with Monica and Pat, the two office secretaries in an overpriced wine bar sharing a bottle of Chardonnay. Sadie and Tim her fellow junior executive colleagues arrived and joined them, and they all chuckled at Stephen, who seemed drunk despite it being only half past six, and was dancing with the temp who seemed equally as drunk.

“They had lunch at the same time,” Monica hissed across the table, always one to gossip she threw that branch on to the fire of speculation.

They all did a double take, leaning in just as she'd known they would.

“Do you think they’re…?” Bec was unable to finish the ludicrous suggestion. Stephen was a good looking man, if you liked greying middle aged men. He kept himself in shape and was generous with both his time and his money. Hosting an evening drink like this and footing the bill was all too typical. But that generosity could be misconstrued by a more naive person. Like the temp.

She shrugged, “I do all the allowances….”

“Go on!” Tim was almost in Monica's lap in excitement. He was almost as big a gossip as the two receptionists.

“Well let’s just say the last three weeks he’s had receipts for eleven different hotel rooms. I called one because I needed a VAT number……the room was vacated by seven pm, the day he checked in.”

They all sat open mouthed, all five of them loved Stephen’s wife, of all the senior partner's wives, she was clearly the nicest. Elegant, gracious and so friendly. It was ridiculous a thought to imagine that this young dizzy blond was a better option than her, then there was their three children.

“The grass is always greener! He's not getting any younger...” Tim muttered and they all nodded in agreement. "I mean look at Paul McCartney! Fleeced for millions...always an agenda!"

They then sat in silence contemplating those thoughts, only stealing the occasional glance at the ‘odd’ couple dancing.

Bec had little in common with her colleagues, and really kept her self to herself in work, but she’d been on an assignment with Sadie a year ago where they spent a week in Paris together. They were completely different people but they had some sort of connection since.  So she was chatting amicably with the other woman when she changed the topic completely.

“Where you going after this?” she asked Bec.

She shrugged a reply, “I’m heading home for a night in front of the TV after this disgrace ends…" she gestured to the boss and the temp, "then I may go out tomorrow, not sure yet? You?”

“I was thinking of turning this into a night out, some of my friends are in a pub across the river….do you fancy it?” 

Sadie smiled enthusiastically, but Rebecca was less keen, but she thought about the lacklustre TV listings she’d checked out earlier, and the thought of how much she deserved a night out, how it would if nothing else ease the pain of the dancing spectacle they'd all endured the last hour or two. “Actually, I could be tempted…”

She smiled knowingly, “my friends are in the Snake bar, some new wine bar near their offices. They can put our names on the door?” She looked around the room, “otherwise you’re stuck with Pat and Monica who’ll both be in bed by nine, or Tim who’ll be mincing in some gay bar about the same time…” she gestured to the dance floor, “and if 'that' is your cup of tea then you’re both sad and mad!”

Rebecca burst out laughing, “Ok, ok, ok! I’ll come!”

Within minutes they were in a cab, then bursting into the affray of a wine bar in full swing. The place was full, groups of suited men stood around chatting and glancing furtively at the elegant women, who equally stood around in small groups, drinking wine and gossipping about everything and nothing.

Bec felt a bit awkward as she waited for Sophie to emerge from the furore at the bar. This was the sort of place she hated, there was something unnerving about a room full of suits. And posh ones at that.

Sophie beckoned from the far side of the room, where a particularly rowdy bunch had gathered. She was introduced to a few people who were acquaintances of her colleague, and they chatted amicably. Champagne had appeared from somewhere, and her glass seemed eternally full.

An hour or so later she headed to the bar and got a tall glass of water, which she downed rather inelegantly and was glad for the reprieve from the fuzzy head that had started to swamp her the last half an hour. She realised that her share of the tow bottles of wine shared with her colleagues had been added to by several glasses of champagne, and she hadn't eaten since a rushed sandwich at lunchtime.

She found the ladies, and saw her pale face, and dark eyes in the mirror, the effects of working a long week had taken their toll on her face! At the bottom of her bag she discovered a half empty packet of travel wet wipes to her relief, and scrubbed her face clean. Shrugging, it was after all the best she could manage, she headed back into the bar when she froze.

“It’s always a chore darling, you know that!” She knew the voice, although it was a rather theatrical and she slowly turned to see Nate, holding court with a large group, spouting a rather animated story to an intently watching and guffawing group a few metres from where she stood. He had his back to her, but she knew it was him, blond, elegant, and so natural and comfortable in this environment. Unlike her. Was it this difference that made her feel sick? Or the fact that he was supposed to be in Paris? She shook herself slightly, they'd had one date, he hardly owed her anything, it was ridiculous to expect him to check in with her. So with a smile she made towards him.

“So what happened then?” Someone asked, they were all agog listening to the story, and Rebecca started to feel sick, stopping in her tracks.  

Nate shrugged dramatically, “he’s back where he belongs, and boy do the World and his wife know that. He’s not ever going to venture into…” Bec watched aghast as he imitated quote marks and added, “’that world’…..again!”

The sentence end was lost in the hysteria that followed the story. Her anxiety had been well placed, she knew what he was talking about, her. And for all the excuses and conversations they’d had over the last week, she felt devastated and betrayed by this man.

In small steps she began to retreat away from the group, wanting to leave the room undetected. But she backed into someone, resulting in a drink being spilt all over her and a tall man, in a pinstripe suit.

“God you oaf! Look where you’re going!” He was both rude and angry, but so was she.

Seeing red she turned to him, “I am not an oaf, I am manoeuvring around a busy bar. It’s about time you learnt some manners, you stuck up bastard!”

Nate’s jaw dropped in surprise as he spotted her, or more likely heard her, and as she made to spin on her heel to leave the room, their eyes met. There was the merest sign of apology in his eyes, but at that point she didn't care, rushing away she squeezed between people, before she burst out on to the street. The fresh air hit her like a sledge hammer, and she staggered for a moment. Fortunately there were a few cabs outside, and she dived into one and reeled off her address before slumping back against the seat, devastation overwhelming her. How could she have got him so wrong?

Rebecca ignored the constant ringing of her phone, even if it was anyone other than Nate she had no interest in talking, not at the moment. But as she was putting the key into the door to her house, a voice broke the silence of the quiet street.

“Rebecca, wait! Please!” She glanced over her shoulder and saw Nate jogging down the street towards her, but couldn’t close the door quick enough behind her to avoid him. “Rebecca, let me just talk to you please, I can explain.”

Stepping inside the hallway, she leaned her body weight against the door, but his foot slipped onto the threshold and blocked it from closing it completely. “I have nothing to say to you Nathaniel, you have nothing to explain, and I have no interest in hearing. Go back to your stuck up friends and shove your head back up your arse where it belongs! I've had enough of the Groves family to last me a life time!”

“I’m not going anywhere, I want to speak to you, I want to explain why I was laughing at my father and the things he said. But I was laughing AT him sweetheart not WITH him, honestly. I have no interest in him, I already feel more loyalty to you than him over this whole mess.”

She suddenly moved away from the door, and it swung open. “So you've told them about me then? The people you were talking to tonight. Did you tell them that you’ve been out with me socially? That you’ve kissed me?” She felt the tears well in her eyes and they started to fall as she added, “Did you tell them the promises you made to me? The way you said I made you feel?…The way you’ve made me feel?” By now she was sobbing, part distress, but also the alcohol was playing it's part.

“Becca, I meant everything I said!” 

She gulped no one had called her Becca since her mother died. Rebecca when she'd done something wrong, but Becca during the good times...though there were too few of them. “Did you tell them Nat? That you've sweet talked me, that you're waiting for that 'special moment'?" She spluttered with emotion, "…God just go, get out of here!”

As she turned away he grabbed her arm, “I was laughing at how ridiculous my father sounded on TV, I promise. I got to the bar ten minutes before I saw you. I haven’t stopped thinking about you since I left. I was going to call you but I didn’t want to stress you out, to push you. I know I’ve pushed you hounded you. I'm impatient, I want more than you can imagine, but I thought you may need some time.”

She shook her head, “Words! They mean nothing Nat!”

He pulled her into his arms and started to kiss her, firstly the tears on each cheek, then her nose, then her lips. She’d never been kissed so gently, so intently. She fought him for a few moments, but she was tired, and lonely, and he made her feel so good…..

Then she was responding, her mouth opening to allow his tongue to slide in and meet his, her tears subsided into whimpers, and after a few seconds he pulled back and looked into her eyes.

“I’m monopolising you now, and manipulating you again. Shall I go? I’ll come back tomorrow? Picnic as planned?”

How did he always say and do the right things? She looked at him forlornly, not knowing which way was up, “I think I need a hug! Please?”

He smiled, “I’ll hang around and hug you…..and that is it! Neither of us is in the right frame of mind. And if this goes any further, it will be a special moment after I've wooed you, ok?” He lifted her chin forcing her to look at him, and she nodded meekly.

Upstairs, he disappeared into the bathroom, so she changed into her pyjamas - a sleeveless t-shirt and shorts. She was brushing her hair when she heard a long slow exhale from behind her.

“You don’t want to make this easy for me, do you?” 

She smiled, “I promise I’ll be good.”

He shook his head, “damn!” 

She knew he was joking. She’d found him one of Johnny’s old t-shirts, which he’d put on in the bathroom, and as she got into bed, he took off his navy tailored suit trousers and laid them with his jacket and shirt, draped on a chair. Then he slid into the bed next to her. 

“Are you sure about this?” he asked nervously. She nodded as he opened her arms, and she curled into his chest. Nate rolled his eyes to the ceiling, this was a real test of integrity!

They must’ve slept, it was light when Bec finally opened her eyes, the first thing she saw was Nate lying face down next to her, his usually immaculate blond hair an unruly tangle an arm across his head hid his eyes, the other arm a heavy weight across her back.

“Morning…” she breathed, loving the security of his embrace, the warmth of his body.

A grumble emerged from the hair next to her, so she reached out and finger combed it over his ear, “you look terrible!”

“Thanks…." his eyes still hadn't opened. "I had two very busy days in Paris, about four hours sleep and the travel. Then I had the worst part, to try and sleep with you scantily clad draped all over me! I am completely exhausted!” He half opened on eye and then grinned.

She smiled, “is it too early for coffee?”

He shook his head, “never too early for coffee….”

“Man after my own heart.” She slipped out of the bed, pausing at the door to glance back at him spread-eagled her heart surged with longing. A man after her heart indeed!