Never Again - 19

Chapter 19 - life goes on

                “Forgive me!” He’d bombarded her with text messages since the morning after abandoning her, but now it seemed he was coming at her in person. “Talk to me!”

Jack was stood at the top of the stairs that led down to her flat, when she’d emerged with Barney in tow for his first proper walk. And she was stunned that he even thought he deserved that opportunity.

                “You abandoned me! Left me at the table...I didn’t even know where I was! Have you any idea how humiliating that was?” Erin glared at him, no he had no clue. No woman had ever left him standing; he’d never been turned down by anyone. He’d not have a wife who’d sleep around on him. No life was perfect for him. “An apology doesn’t come close! Not that one has been forthcoming! It was five days ago!”

                “I tried to text you...” his forlorn look wasn’t working.

She laughed, “you LEFT me at nine o’clock, without as much as a word, then you text me the next day! Reilly, we had a bit of fun, great sex...” She squared up to him, “but I deserve more. I don’t know who you think you are treating people like that...oh wait! You’re Jack Reilly!”

She stormed past him, not trusting herself to say anything else, she was furious with the way he’d treated her, but his nonchalant ‘poor boy’ attitude was like the light to her fuse.  He was stunned by her anger, her single mindedness, that was obvious, and Erin knew he had no counter to her argument and he watched her help Barney into the back of her car then drive away. And Jack being Jack just let her go. He’d never fought for anything in his life before, and he quite obviously wasn’t about to start now. Another reason why she was right to be so firm over this.

At some point over the following weekend Erin wondered if she’d forgive him, let him explain. Something had quite obviously spooked him, and he deserved the chance to explain. A week after his attempt at an apology, she was viewing the whole thing in a different light.

On Sunday morning she woke and went for a run, she was starting to get a social life in Manchester, but there was still a lot of time spent alone. So she had plenty of time to think. As she pounded the roads and parklands of her locality, she decided that yes, she’d call him once she got back. That was the most logical thing to do, at least give him the chance he’d requested. She’d not forgive herself if she didn’t.

Winding down her run, she called at the local corner shop and bought two fresh cheese and ham filled croissants, a meaty treat for Barney and a selection of Sunday papers. Decisions weren’t best made on an empty stomach.

Barney was ecstatic to see the treat, not so much her, and took it to his bed to devour. Erin filled the coffee machine, then showered; eventually she sat down with her breakfast and opened the paper. And she felt sick all over again.

No words could describe the sight. A full page picture of Jack, looking happy, smiling, maybe a little drunk, leaving the end of season celebration party held at an expensive hotel, and draped around his neck with a buxom blonde. What was it with men in her life and fake blondes with big tits?

This was like a trip down Memory Lane! She’d been usurped twice, both times publicly and in the most humiliating fashion. Closing the paper she was surprisingly calm, but then he’d abandoned her in a restaurant less than a week earlier, this was hardly as upsetting, and it didn’t come close to the trauma of the world knowing her husband was playing around. She ignored the voice that reminded her that this man was a million times more important than the man she married, and that he’d influenced her life more in the short time they’d been acquainted. 

She was living here in Manchester, the same city as him, and despite the fact that it was a huge place; she still worried about bumping into him again, especially if he was accompanied by the blond smiling up at her from the newspaper. But it was the end of the season and she could only hope that she didn’t bump into him, after all, he’d told her he was heading off on an exotic holiday as soon as the season ended; she just hoped that was as soon as possible.

It wasn’t that he owed her any obligation, she told Michelle later on the phone, but that he was so quick to move on. She’d obviously meant very little to him, he’d begged her to give him a chance, and yet he was happy to pull a replacement on to his arm at the first opportunity. Thankfully she’d not been photographed with him herself, that would have been the ultimate humiliation. 

                “I think you should speak to him Erin, even if it’s just to call him a bastard. He wanted to explain, you should have given him that chance.”

Erin swallowed at the criticism, she was the injured party here, he deserved no sympathy, “Michelle, I have no interest in a man who could do that to me. I’m not accepting less than the best from anyone, not after all that happened with Max. I want a man who wants me wholeheartedly. That man isn’t Jack Reilly. I’d rather be alone that accept second best again.”

Michelle was quick to reply, “I didn’t mean that you should settle for anything less. Just that he seemed a genuine guy, and not one who would up and run like that. This woman on his arm...that’s different, and you’re right it’s WAY too quick. But what I don’t want to see is you wondering what if. You are my only concern here ok?”

Erin’s protests that she wasn’t upset, that he hadn’t hurt her were as weak to Erin’s own ears as she knew they were to Michelle’s and the last thing her friend needed was to be worried about her, she had a growing baby to focus on. So she laughed and changed the subject telling her friend all about her upcoming trip.

Six weeks passed, and despite a few hopeful messages from Jack, Erin stayed firm, and she knew that Jack wouldn’t keep pushing, he wasn’t used to it and his pride would rule. She had a busy summer planned herself, after her brother’s birthday party, she was flying to the south of France to stay with an old friend, and that sounded like heaven. As per usual the British summer had started as a damp squib, and she was feeling waterlogged. So as her and Barney headed to her parents, she had a genuine smile on her face for the first time in ages.

Yvonne had decorated their house in the theme of James Bond for the party, and EVERYONE wore fancy dress. Michelle had suggested she go as Ursula Andress in the Dr No Bikini, but that was about as likely as her turning up naked. She also avoided the gold jumpsuit of another Bond girl. Instead she settled for being anyone of the dozens of Bond girls from the sixties, a head band, back combed hair and a black mini dress, with the vintage shoes she’d found in a charity shop she felt perfect.

The house was packed as she entered complete with Pussy Galore and a rather handsome mature Bond, her parents. Very soon they were drinking martinis and mixing with the fifty or so people there. Finding herself on the edge of the group she smiled as her brother approached. “So how does it feel to be almost forty?”

He grimaced, “painful! And I’m two years away yet! Cheeky. No seriously, I feel great! And as usual Yvonne pulls off another amazing party!”

Erin nodded, “there was never any doubt.”

After a brief smile, Peter turned to stare at her, “how’s Manchester? Haven’t seen you smile this weekend, you looked happy when you first moved there.”

                “New places!” She offered, “You know how it is. Sometimes great, others lonely! Got Barney though, and to be honest I work with some great people.”

                “Mum hinted you’d met someone...” He threw the comment out in an awkward fashion; they didn’t do deep and meaningful conversations.

Erin sighed, “kind of did, kind of ended.” She’d become expert at hiding the pain and bitterness that the thought of Jack was still able to create.

He nodded, silent for a moment, then turned to her, “don’t let that bastard spoil your future Erin, ok? You deserve better than Max Thomas, you always did.”

Erin turned to look at her brother, he’d not shown her the slightest hint of support or love for years, those words were tantamount to ‘I love you sis’. And he was right, she deserved better than Max, she deserved better than Jack. She only feared she’d never meet a man that special.

                “Thank you!” With that she threw her arms around his neck and gave him an almighty hug. His arms tightened around her, it was an emotional moment for them both.

Erin was aware she seemed sombre, so she threw herself into things, Peter had good friends and the evening flew by. But she was tired, she’d driven through horrendous traffic to get home it was exhausting, so using Barney being alone as an excuse, she left by eleven, making the short stroll home to her parents farm on her own.

Making a cup of cocoa she looked at Barney, lounging on a sofa, looking at her through one half open eye.

                “So do you think I’ll find Mr Right?”

His half hearted tail wag wasn’t the best response, but it was all she had.

The next morning she flew to Marseille, a bustling coastal city on the South coast of France. Sandrine was a college buddy who’d travelled to London for education, but had gone immediately back to her native France to work. Her father was a self made shipping magnate, and her gaining a medical degree had been his greatest and proudest moment. She worked as a private consultant for medico-legal cases, part time; she spent the rest of her time modelling and sailing, her two great loves.

Erin had great fun relaxing in the sun, after the hectic nature of her private life the last few months she was glad to do no more than lounge on the deck of Sandrine’s boat as slipped through the gentle swell of the Med. The perfect holiday.

On the last day of her trip, Sandrine invited her back to a fashion show in a few weeks. Whilst Erin wasn’t that bothered, but she dutifully checked her diary. It was only then that she noticed red pen circling a date in her diary, a date that had passed uneventfully several weeks ago.

Jack, dropped the surfboard next to him and collapsed onto the beach, looked at the Persian Gulf laid out before him, perfect turquoise water, and fine white sand. He was going scuba diving later, he had a villa with a butler...life shouldn’t get any better than this.

He sighed, but it was no fun alone. He’d cruised some of the hotels the previous night, having dinner, a few drinks, and there was no shortage of mainly British female tourists who would have cut their right arm off to experience an evening with him on the world famous Palm. But he wasn’t interested in just anyone.

Scott and Danni were arriving the following day, they’d booked the villa next door, and whilst he looked forward to that, he also dreaded it, after all Danni wouldn’t let anything lie.

And she’d be right. It was time to admit that he missed Erin; he missed her quick wit, her enthusiasm, her joie de vivre. He’d not needed anyone before, but for the first time his life was empty without her. 

Grabbing his surfboard he headed back into the water. Surfable waves didn’t happen here very often, so he made the most of it, because when he was fighting nature, he managed to forget...for a moment.