Never Again - 9

Chapter 9 - the morning after!

                “You going to be ok on the sofa?”

Jack nodded, burying himself under the duvet, “it’s perfect! Promise.”

                “Ok.” Erin smiled, “you sure you’re not in pain.”

                “I’m fine. Now go to sleep. I’ll see you in the morning. Ok?” As if to prove the point, he closed his eyes and gave a fake snore.

But for Jack, sleep was elusive, he’d temporarily revisited his family tonight, it was the first time for a long time, he’d settled for very occasional phone calls, and very erratic visits. He thought back, he hadn’t seen his parents since some time the previous summer...His sister Sinead’s daughter, no he corrected himself, his niece Aine had her first communion, he’d returned for the farcical procession, hating every minute, then left for Florida straight afterwards.  Jack knew his mother was devastated that he didn’t stay longer. But their relationship had broken down in his teens, he sent her money, a lot of money every month, but he couldn’t imagine confiding in her, sharing his life with her, or his father again. This was all too little too late, and fro the first time in his life, he knew that he was responsible for that as much as they were.

Erin slept well, only waking at five with the sensation she’d been woken up, her heart started to race, and that almost doubled in pace when she heard the flush in the bathroom then with a gasp of relief she remembered that Jack had stayed. It had been a long time since she’d shared her life with someone. Max...why could the thought of him still hurt her?

He’d been everything to her, that was why. She’d bought into the dream of marrying him hook, line and sinker. She could remember the moment she first set eyes on him. He was an orthopaedic consultant at a hospital she worked at, and on her first day, he’d waltzed onto the ward, surrounded by his entourage to a gaggle of giggling nurses, all gushing at him. She’d looked up from the elderly lady with a repaired broken hip who was trying to help stand for the first time to set her eyes on what appeared to be a god like creature. He had thick blonde hair, eyes that seemed to be green - how rare was that? And a square jaw, defined cheek bones, and a dazzling smile. He marched up to the end of the bed and looked down at her squatting to help Mrs Eldridge get a slipper onto her swollen left foot.

                “You’re new?”

Wiping her hands, she stood and nodded extending her hand, “I’m Erin Bailey.”

                “Thomas, Max Thomas, I’m the specialist knee surgeon here...I’ve got a gentleman in bed eight I need to discuss with you.”

Erin nodded, “can I meet you there, I’ve just built Mrs Eldridge up for a walk?” she glanced at the older lady who smiled appreciatively. “There’s nothing worse than losing that adrenaline rush!”

He’d looked a little taken aback, but nodding he’d left. Over the next few months she came to realise that no one said no to Max Thomas, and for some reason he’d loved that she did. Within three months they were dating. She was whisked around London to lots of dinners, film premieres, Max really had illusions of grandeur.

But at some point she’d lost her independence, she’d become a part of him. By then they were married. She wanted a baby, that was when things came to a head, she could remember it like it was yesterday. What she hadn’t known at the time was that Max was living well beyond his means. The men’s clubs, the ski holidays, the bottle after bottle of Cristal champagne, then there was the villa in Dubai...they were all bought on credit. But worst was the gambling habit, like a drug he had apparently squandered hundreds of thousands of pounds betting in an exclusive ring at the most elite level. And she had no idea.

When the rumours of him sleeping around on day became reality, the wife of the latest woman he was sleeping with turned up at work to confront him. It led to a fight, and in the ensuing carnage, injuries, damage, bad publicity, the hospital terminated his contract.

As a distraught Erin tried to salvage anything from her life, Max disappeared overseas, destination unknown, and she was left with the debt, the bailiffs, and the money lenders’ heavies, but worse than that was the shame of seeing everything she had ripped from under her.  She didn’t even leave that home with her self respect intact.

No, she turned over and punched her pillow, she’d withdraw from this dangerous relationship, she had to.  There was no way one man was going to ruin all that she had all over again. The photo they’d looked at earlier of her with her father, part of the reason she loved it was she had no cares then. She was starting out in life, a clean slate and a passion for life. It had taken over a year to reacquaint herself with even a hint of that.

An hour later her alarm awoke her, she’d barely slept since waking and it was a wrench to drag herself to her feet. After a quick shower, she dressed for work; her hair piled up above her head, then made some coffee.

There was little movement from the sofa until the aroma of the coffee had penetrated the lounge.

                “You’re like the Bisto kid!” she laughed as he entered the kitchen sniffing.  Suddenly it was all a little cramped in the small room, sharing a morning coffee, him still in pj’s was all a little intimate. So she handed him a mug and scooted past him. Finding his kit from the previous day, she folded it and left it on the table for him, then gathered together her presentation work for later in the day.

                “I’ll drop you home,” she offered, as she scribbled the last few notes on one hand out before bundling it in her bag, “I’ve got time before work, it’s early enough that the traffic won’t be heavy.”

When there was no answer, she looked up, Jack was in panic mode, eyes wide, “I’ll get a cab!”

She grinned, “It’s ok, honestly. I can drop you close! Don’t have to show me your actual house!” She mimicked his earlier suggestion.

                “Thanks, but I’ll get a cab, it’s a long way out...” he wasn’t any more relaxed.

She looked at him and suddenly it all made some sort of sense, “Really? You really are THAT worried I’ll find out where you live? What the hell do you think I’ll do?”

Jack gasped, “no...not at all...”

She laughed, “arrogant bastard! I’ve opened my home to you...unconditionally and that’s how you replay me! I won’t stalk you...if anything YOU stalk me!”  She grabbed her keys, “do what you want, just lock the door as you leave.”

Before he could respond she’d left. With a slam of the door.

Jack stared at the door, still vibrating from the power of her slam. He really was working hard to appear as a first class prick, she was right. But he’d been in torment since punching that player the previous day. He’d almost cried on her shoulder, they’d done things that couples did  - eaten together, watched a movie, hell he’d mentioned his family. This was unfamiliar territory, and he felt the floor constantly moving under his feet. He didn’t want more than fun, he knew that, especially after the Tina debacle of the last few months. But by pushing her he was losing her. He had to think what was the worst, being smothered, ruined maybe by a relationship, or an angry resentful Erin. She was hot when she was angry!

Nope, he had to be glad that he’d pissed her off, he couldn’t cope with her wanting more than the fun he was after, she had no permanent place in his life, and that was how he wanted it. It was! He assured himself.

Sliding into his tracksuit that was still warm from the radiator, he scribbled a note to Erin.

                “Sorry, I’m mentally unstable, surely you know that by now! J.R.”

No kiss, no flirting, no humour. Just a little self deprecation - the ladies loved that. With a grin, he did as she asked, shut the door behind him.

                “Prick!” She announced as she picked up the note he’d left. “Woe is me? Is that your game?” she shouted. “It doesn’t work!”

She knew that no one could hear her, that definitely he couldn’t, but it still made her feel better. She was tempting to throw a plate at the wall, to take pleasure in it smashing into a thousand pieces. Then she checked herself, she’d not felt that resentful, that destructive when Max betrayed her so badly. And they’d been married two years. No, this fly by night wasn’t going to upset her, she was bigger than this. It was moments like this that she’d mentally prepared for.

It didn’t mean she could sit and relax. So changing, she headed out for a run. Pounding the streets was surely better than sitting in her house stewing. It was a brighter evening, the first signs of summer so she was relaxed and far more composed when she got back to the basement flat. After showering, eating, she was just turning on the TV when her phone buzzed. Jack.

Options ignore, read and ignore, send abusive message back.

She took option one, deleting before she even read it, but her curiosity got the better of her.

                “Am I still enemy number one?”

It didn’t deserve a response, but she sent one anyway, “I’ve known you two weeks Reilly, you don’t even make the top fifty.”

She’d ignore anymore.

Jack didn’t like to think about his role in the silence from Erin, it had been more than a week since she’d stormed out on him after her looking after him in his hour of need. He’d not analysed his behaviour in this, just sat back and felt angry at her, for ignoring him. Not in her top fifty enemies! That barb still stung.

He looked across his modern, luxurious lounge, he had everything money could buy,  all the latest modcons, the highest resolution TV money could buy, a wall mounted 90 inch screen, his Bang Olufsen plumbed in music system, designer sofas, pictures...this home had been a refuge to him since he’d lived in the area, and it should be enough. But now he was restless, unsettled, the house seemed too big, nothing grabbed his attention.

Grabbing his keys, he took his sports car, a low slung large engined car, and drove the ten miles to Scott’s home. He was always grounded when he visited him.

Scott’s wife Danielle was an angel, they’d met when Scott was THE most famous player in the country, he was what Jack would be, if Jack was English, being Irish he wasn’t quite the media dream that his best friend was. Danielle had worked at another football club, organising all the travel arrangements, living arrangements, basically mothering the players when they didn’t know how, or couldn’t be bothered to do things. Scott had played at her club for three years, and it wasn’t until he moved to join Jack at their current club, then returned to play his old team mates that he saw her again, and realised how much he missed her.

She was perfect for Scott, though Jack found it amazing that his friend had changed that much, he’d been a player, more so than anyone Jack knew within football, but with Danielle he’d settled to be a devoted husband and now father. Jack had felt awkward going to their house for a long time, but he was used to the comfortable closeness the two felt now and wasn’t threatened.

And he loved Cate and Sophie the beautiful identical twins. And they loved him.  Danielle smiled when she saw Jack on the doorstep, then stepped aside as the two rockets that were her daughters burst past her at a wobbly run. Squatting he opened his arms and the two hung around his neck like limpets. Grinning he stood an arm around of each of them, then stooped to kiss Danni’s cheek.

                “How’s you Danni?”

The younger woman smiled, “good, well as good as you can be with these two tearing around...ALL day. Scott’s in the shower, he won’t be long. Do you want a coffee?”

Jack paused from blowing raspberries alternately on the cheeks of the babies to glance at her, “love one!” Then he followed her into their family room, a huge area covering half of the ground floor of their palatial home, it was half kitchen, half dining room, but had two huge sofas flanking a TV to one side. They spent most of their time in there, and it was more than comfortable.

                “So what brings you here?” She asked as she filled a mug from the jug of the coffee machine on the work surface.

Jack lowered himself on to a sofa and let the girls crawl over him, “do I need a reason to visit?”

Danielle smiled, “yes!”

He laughed, and at that moment the kitchen door opened and Scott strolled in, his hair wet from the shower, “Reilly, what’s up?”

Jack flinched at the way he called him by his surname, the exact same name that Erin used for him. Swallowing emotions he couldn’t describe, he tried to smile, “I was bored. Thought I’d pester you.”

Any shock of behalf of the Millward’s was well disguised, and for half an hour the three adults talked as the two babies played.

                “Right. Nap time girls!” Danielle rejected Scott’s offer to help, and left the two men together.

Scott stood and took two beers from the fridge, “so what’s really up bud?”

                “I told you! I’m bored! That’s all!” When Scott’s eyes widened, Jack laughed, “ok, I’m feeling shit at the moment. Didn’t want to be alone. Do I have to say more than that?”

Scott drained a large slug of beer, then looked at Jack, “don’t know mate, we don’t do emotions and all that shit, but since you blew in the last game I’ve been worried about you.”

                “Yep,” Danni’s voice came from behind the men, “that was reckless even for you. What’s up Jack?”

Jack shrugged, “I saw red, that’s usual for me!”

                “Jack Reilly! I don’t believe that for a minute, you’re hard, but fair. Something is screwing you up, and where were you after the game? Scott called your house, your mobile...”

Jack stared at Scott, “thought we didn’t do all this shit Scott! Can’t we go to the pub?” He laughed as Danni slapped his arm, then turned to her, “did he tell you all about Tina?”

Danielle nodded, “come on Jack, she’s hardly the woman for you! What were you even thinking? You are never going to settle for a rough diamond who’s searching for fame, like her. So don’t pretend that you were. I’m only amazed that is hasn’t happened sooner...” she glanced at her husband, “and I include you in that. You were both boys who did what they wanted. You had no regard for anyone else, all you wanted was a good time. Scott is trying to grow up, though he finds it hard. You...” she pointed at Jack, “you are thirty. You should be settling down, sharing your life with someone, having kids, making a family.”

Jack groaned, family...it wasn’t a word that inspired him, he’d spent fifteen years running from his, and his lone wolf life was something he’d strived to maintain. He couldn’t change that now.