Trying Not to Love You - Part Thirty Three

Chapter Thirty Three

Her father was like a child, his excitement palpable as he planned the trip away with Eamonn. Martha was concerned, obviously he was still not a hundred percent and she prayed that he didn’t fall ill, fail in what he wanted to do, or felt that he was being a burden on the others travelling with him. But she’d primed Eamonn secretly on as much as she could, and she could do no more.

Sonny was brilliant stepping in to help out at the restaurant, that meant Martha could spend a little bit more time helping her father prepare for his trip.  On Thursday, Martha was working, Sonny had the night off, and her father was packing his bag for his trip. Lucy was supposed to be attending the Women’s Institute, but instead she came into the restaurant, just as they were about to open.

                “Oh Martha, it’s a disaster!”

She rushed over to her Aunt, “what is it?” Helping her on to the stool near the counter, she took her hand. “Are you ok?”

Lucy fanned herself a little, “it’s Nancy!” She named her cousin who lived an hour away. “She’s fallen, hurt her leg. She can barely walk...” Her eyes flashed up to Martha’s, “she’s had the doctor out and refused to go to hospital. So she’s stuck. I said I’d go see her...but there aren’t any trains...”

Her Aunt’s concern was palpable, so she poured her a brandy, “do you want me to drive you there?” She glanced around, it was a busy-ish night, Paul could probably cope for an hour without her but realistically not for the whole evening, she’d rostered the staff with the knowledge that she’d be there.

                “You can’t, you’re too busy.”

Martha was racking her brains, she wanted to help her so much, but her hands were tied with the restaurant, “let me call Sonny, I don’t know where he is.”

He answered on the second ring, “what’s up?”

She sighed, “hmm, where are you?”

                “Gym, just warming down. Do you need me? Suddenly busy?”

                “Could you drive Aunt Lucy to Hayfield? Her cousin’s ill. I’m chock-a-block here, and she’s a bit desperate.”

                “I am not desperate,” Lucy protested.

Sonny hearing that started to laugh, “can I borrow Herman?”

She smiled at Lucy, “he’ll be back at the house in fifteen minutes, once he’s showered he can take you. Do you need a hand packing?”

Lucy shook her head, “no, I’ll be fine. Will you manage without me this weekend? With your Dad being away?”

                “We’ll be fine, you HAVE to go, I can see how upset you are.”

Lucy reached out and squeezed her hand, “Martha you are a good person, you do too much for everyone. You should look after yourself a bit better. Put yourself first more often.”

Martha came around the counter to hug her aunt, “I’m lucky to have had you all those years.”

With a pff at the emotions on display, she played it down, “don’t be stupid, I loved being part of your life. Now, I’ll call you tomorrow. If she’s ok I’ll be home on Saturday, if not it may be a few days more.”

                “Do what you need to. OK?”

It was a busy night, every table was booked, and whilst a really busy night saw the tables filled twice, tonight, everyone seemed to eat, drink and spend a lot of money, not something she could complain about, but something that kept her and Paul running around like idiots.

Aunt Lucy called at nine o’clock to say she was at her cousin’s safely, and Martha was relieved, it was one thing less to worry about. There was no news from Sonny, and more importantly Herman, and she got home and went to bed before there was any sign of him. 

                “So he’s taken the bait?” Sonny rubbed his hands as Johnny nodded. The opportunity to drive away from town meant he could meet up with his friend, and ally for the first time since introducing him to Oldbury.

Grinning he leaned back in his chair, they’d come to an all night cafe and were sat opposite each other at a table in the corner, bacon, egg and chips on order.

                “He’s fuming with Gripper, reckons this has been a long time coming, and after all the stuff that’s happened at your place he’s dreading being implicated in it. Anything that can put distance between him and the idiot is a winner, so I’m climbing the ranks.”

                “You told him about the drop?”

He nodded, “told him that I had a tip off that once a week a van parks up in a lay-by near Whitmore, that the driver abandons it to slope off with his lover. And that it’s full of cash. He asked how I knew, so I told him that his lover has a rich husband who knows that revenge in the form of stealing the cash would cause him to have a greater beating than he could offer with his bare hands.”

                “Nice touch! Bet Oldbury loved that.”

He nodded, “he wants to beat my mate to it, get there earlier and get the prize.”

Sonny smiled, nodding with pleasure, “and then bingo! After the tip of to the Old Bill, I’ll be waiting a half a mile away on a motorbike, as soon as the blue lights start, disable Oldbury and bomb to me.”

Johnny nodded, “we just need to create an alibi for us, just in case, you know. Who knows if Oldbury will blab? He could squeal like a baby.”

                “Expect he will. I’ll get your cash the day before, I’ll head to London next Wednesday, get the money we’re owed, then it’s twenty four hours to show time.” When Johnny smiled, he added, “we need to do a proper talk through later. Maybe over the weekend?”

Johnny nodded, “I’m not doing much. Call me.”

Sonny’s eyes opened in a slow and languorous way, all he could smell was bacon, and coffee, and his stomach lurched in appreciation. This house constantly smelled inviting, and usually of great food. How had he lasted almost thirty years without this sense of satisfaction in his life? He lay there for a moment, listening to Martha singing along with the radio, her clear voice was cutting through the early morning quiet of the house. One of the things he loved about being at the farm was the quiet, the serenity. Everywhere else he’d lived there’d been buses, trucks and innumerable cars trundling past windows, people going to work, coming home from work, all walking past the houses he’d occupied.  Here, there was nothing...but singing.

Sighing he rolled onto his side and looked at the clock, eight. Martha had probably been up for hours, she seemed to survive on less sleep than he did. Rolling up to sitting he gave a luxurious stretch, then pulled on his cotton pyjama bottoms, despite Lucy being away, he knew Martha would be furious if he turned up for breakfast in less.

He froze in the doorway to the kitchen; Carl, Eamonn and Bill were sat together at the kitchen table with mugs of tea and bacon sandwiches, giggling like school kids. Martha was propped against the work surface arms folded shaking her head in wonder at the three of them, she was dressed already, in what he now knew were her work clothes, a sweater and an old pair of jeans.

                “Everything ok out there?”

She nodded to Sonny as the three older men looked up, “all good. Though I’m hoping you’re going to help me out with the chores whilst these three are off gallivanting!”

Their humour was temporarily replaced by guilt until she laughed and then they all realised things were fine.

                “Seriously Martha, everything is fine, other than the odd check there’s nothing to do.” Eamonn was quick to reassure her.

                “I’ve been up at the crack of dawn every morning for I don’t know how long, I can manage to check things over, feed the horses, chickens, turn out the rest. I’ll be fine.”

Sonny strode across the kitchen and poured himself a coffee, “and I’ll help her, I’ve promised you all that.”

As he sat beside the men, Martha proceeded in making him a bacon sandwich too and tried to ignore the affect his beautiful bare chest had on her...EVERY time.

                “Do you want to come to the Cash and Carry with me?” Martha asked an hour later, once the old men had disappeared, “it’s just I’ve got to pick up so much stuff for the party tonight, was hoping you’d give me a hand.”

                “I’ve got to be somewhere at midday, meeting someone. Will we be back by then?”

She nodded, “can be. Cheers.”

As they drove back from the huge warehouse with a back seat full of balloons and streamers, he turned to her, “so you’re ok if I meet you at the restaurant at five to prepare?”

Martha leaned back in the passenger seat and appreciated being driven around, “I’ll be fine, Sam and Claire,” she named two of the casual waitresses, “are coming in at five, we’ll manage.”

Turning to look at her he shook his head, “I’ll come and do my bit. Ok? I just have a few things to do...you thought about bringing Ethan up this weekend? I thought Lucy’s cousin thing, her going away, well it couldn’t have worked out better, could it?”

Avoiding his eyes, she nodded, “I’m taking tomorrow off, hoping Paul can manage things...then I’ll collect Ethan tomorrow, he’ll have a couple of days with us, but not long enough that he’ll be discovered.”

Sonny loved the look of unadulterated pleasure on her face, “I’ll call in to see Paul, help him close up. It didn’t look busy when I checked the diary yesterday.”

She smiled, placing a hand on his forearm, "thanks Carter, you are too good to me. There are half a dozen tables booked, that’s all. I’ll drive down tomorrow morning to pick him up.”

When she sighed he looked at her again, “what? What is it?”

She gave a little shrug, “Stephanie...she’s not very happy about this. She’s been such a rock to me, but now she’s not happy...and not trying to hide that.”

                “She’s had six months of caring for him, she’s going to feel a little put out at losing him, he’s a lovely kid.”

                “Bloody hell, Carter the Philosopher!”

Chuckling he pulled up at the restaurant and jumped out the Land Rover, “can’t understand why you sound SO surprised.”

After unloading the supplies, he parked the Land Rover out back and made for the station, this was his last meeting with Johnny before the coming ‘plan’, he was nervous and he wanted to rehash everything, only then might he relax and enjoy what could be a fun weekend.

Trying Not to Love You - Part Thirty Two

Chapter Thirty Two

Sonny watched her enter the farmhouse then heard the rewarding sound of the door locking behind her. Finally she starts to listen to reason, shaking his head, he followed the sound of the car engine around the back of the house and along the track to the road. They’d cut the lights, and there wasn’t much moonlight so he was glad his eyes had accustomed to the dark, probably a lot more than whoever had climbed out of the car. He had an advantage.

As he approached the car, he could recognise Johnny immediately, he was wearing a baseball cap and a black jacket, as invisible as he could be, but he’d recognise those ears anywhere, and his companion despite also being dressed head to foot in not at all suspicious black,  he couldn’t miss the physique and height of Gripper next to him. They were unbolting one of the gates, fortunately it wasn’t a busy field, though that wasn’t the point. they were doing it to cause damage, and he had to fight the surge of anger that cause.

Sonny still had the benefit of the darkness in his favour; the two buffoons were now using torches, so he could see them clearly. He just needed to ensure that there were only two of them, he wasn’t about to be jumped and rumbled by others, that would potentially be the worst thing that could happen. Circling around of the back of the car they’d abandoned at the top of the driveway, he was glad to see the vehicle empty. There was no sign of any other vehicle either.

He’d have the element of surprise over the two, this was an ambush he couldn’t lose, but it was all about the end result. He had to keep up the pretence that Johnny was both a stranger and in this situation an enemy, so she had to attack him first, that was essential. Then Sonny saw an avenue, a way to push Johnny closer to Oldbury, and Oldbury further towards the set up.

Moving away from the two he sent a text message to Martha, ‘Intruders, call the police’.

He waited a moment until the return message said, ‘on their way, you ok?’

Crouched behind the hedge he smiled, ‘yes. Following your instructions, letting the professionals deal with this.’

He was determined to bide his time, but once the gate to the filed creaked and fell to the floor, and the two burst into hushed laughter, he knew he had to act. They weren’t going to stay there forever, and who knew how long the police would be, they were as rural as this community got.

Flying from his hiding position he launched himself at Johnny who was in a half squat position, the two rolled on to the floor, with a grunt he got a punch in, but it was then he spotted the other figure starting to escape.

Jumping up from his position over the prostrate Johnny, he hissed at him, “run, police!” Then hurtled after the rather cumbersome Gripper. After a few seconds Sonny had closed on him and rugby tackled him to the floor. Ignoring the grunts and groans, he pinned the lump to the floor face down, and sat on his back just as the blue lights and sirens of the police cars appeared on the horizon. Pulling the hood of the sweater from around his captive’s head, Sonny let out a theatrical gasp.

                “Gripper! YOU! What are you doing damaging the gate?”

Gripper grunted, and at that moment Sonny called out to the police officers who had come to a stop near the abandoned car.

As two officers came across to him, he pulled Gripper to his feet, just as Martha appeared; she’d jogged across the fields wanting to help surprise the assailants.

                “GRIPPER?” She screamed trying to lash out. “YOU are the one sabotaging the farm?”

Sonny stopped her hand connecting with the restrained man, and she lashed out at him too. So instead he pulled her into his arms, “don’t rise to it, let the police deal with it, they’ve got him.”

He turned to the police officer, “there’s another one, he headed that way,” pointing across the field and three officers set off on foot with flashlights.”

                “What happened?” The remaining officer turned to them.

Martha stepped in, “we’ve had a lot of vandalism lately, so when we heard noises, Sonny ran up here and I called you guys.”

                “Can we take formal statements please?”

Sonny sighed, “can we come to the station tomorrow? Martha’s shattered.”

                “Normally we’d say no we need you tonight, but this seems fairly straight forward.”

Gripper was bundled, scowling into the back of the car, and they watched as he was driven off, and fortunately for Sonny, there was no sign of Johnny, he was long gone.

As the last of the police cars drove off, Sonny, who’d temporarily replaced the gate, the field was at least secure, threw an arm around Martha’s shoulders, “come on, we may need a cocoa before we hit the wine, it’s bloody freezing!”

Back at the house Martha sighed, “thanks for catching him, if you hadn’t been there...”

Sonny hated the guilt he felt at that, after all he’d KNOWN, this catch may have made him look heroic, but he’d planned his own accolade almost, instead he smiled, “go inside, let me do a quick recce of the rest of the place. Check there’s nothing else amiss.”

She nodded, “I’ll open the wine, like we’re ever going to drink cocoa.”

He laughed as she disappeared into the house, then pulled out his phone as he moved around the corner of the building.

Johnny answered on the second ring, “I’m away, safe. Good call. Great move tying up Gripper. Oldbury’s en route to pick me up. Call you in a couple of days.”

Sonny smiled, though he didn’t have time to answer before his friend hung up, everything was falling into place. Soon Martha would be free to spend time with Ethan, and that was more important than anything else.

Martha was sat in the lounge, the bottle of wine on the coffee table in front of her, a glass poured for him.

                “Warmer in here tonight,” she offered as he sat at the opposite end if the same sofa.

Nodding in acknowledgment as they always seemed to sit in the kitchen, he took a sip, “all fine, though I note Mickey isn’t in the feed room, does that mean that bloody animal is on your father’s bed again?”

Martha laughed, the adorable puppy got away with whatever he wanted, “probably.”

They drank quietly, and it was a while before she asked him what had happened up in the fields.

                “I realised it was Gripper, didn’t recognise the other guy, but there was no way I was letting him get away with it.”

                “Does this mean that we’re back on Scott’s radar?”

He shrugged, “we’ve got that video, it isn’t in his interest, in fact, I might go to him tomorrow, remind him of that, I mean if we hand that to the police he’ll have to squirm really hard to get out if it.”

                “So Gripper will get done for it?”

Sonny shrugged, “where Oldbury points, Gripper goes. He was involved even if it wasn’t his idea.”

Martha hated it all, the lies, the deceit and the backbiting. Sonny sighed reaching out to touch her shoulder, “it’ll be over soon, hopefully this will see Oldbury back off.”

She rolled her eyes, “like that’ll ever happen. You and him will still be rutting like stags until either one of you is six feet under or back inside.”

                “I’m not going back there. Ever.”

Looking at him over the top of her wine glass she sighed, “I hope not. You’re too good for that.”

He laughed, “I’m no angel darling.”

She didn’t answer; she just studied him for a moment. But the silence wasn’t awkward, it was tense, and made her aware of him, but she wasn’t in a rush to change anything. She was tired, and wasn’t up to the fight, not now.

                “You’re not the monster you like people to think you are.”

He lifted an eyebrow as she slumped back against the cushions, lifting her feet to curl up on the sofa. Sighing he reached for them and lengthened her legs out over his thighs. Martha stretched luxuriously, then groaned when his hands didn’t leave her instep. Hot fingers that overwhelmed her senses.

                “You told your father?” She closed her eyes and he gave a dry laugh. “He needs to know. This has gone on too long.”

She sighed, still avoiding his scrutiny, her eyes tightly closed, “I didn’t intend to tell him, I don’t know when I ever would, but you made me see that I have to. But he was drunk...he’s going to the races on the weekend, it’s his first trip away.” Finally she looked at him, “I’m telling him when he gets back. He deserves this time away. He deserves that fun first. He’s had a hard time.”

Sonny nodded, “and telling him isn’t going to be easy.”

Closing her eyes again she tried to ignore the sensation of his fingers pummelling her feet, “he’ll hate me, and then himself.”

                “But he’ll love Ethan, and he’s the one that matters.” He thought for a moment, “maybe he’d be the softener?”

Opening her eyes she stared at him again, “what do you mean?”

                “Have him here...when you tell him. One night will be ok. Bring him here, Sunday, they can get to know each other, it’ll soften the blow, and one night, no one will know.”

Could she? Could she merge her two worlds so easily? Whatever happened it was going to be hell, but Sonny was right, Ethan would win her father over.

                “I’d have to get rid of Lucy for a while; I can’t put this on to her. It’s not fair, and when she has a couple of sherries she’s known for her loose lips.”

                “I think she’d be better than you think...” He laughed at her look of amazement, “ok, so the old girl is growing on me. Don’t underestimate her. She thinks the world of you...and hates Oldbury more than anyone else.”

His hands were driving her wild, his ministrations had moved to her ankle and she could barely concentrate, let alone think about Aunt Lucy. When she dropped her head back and sighed, he laughed.

And that was the moment breaker she needed.

                “I’ve got a lot to think about.”

When she managed to meet his eyes, he looked at her with the same heat, the same passion and the same desire that his hands were eliciting in her.

Giving herself a little shake, she lifted her feet from his lap, “see you in the morning?” 

Trying Not to Love You - Part Thirty One

Chapter Thirty One

Martha watched Sonny and Ethan run around the park like banshees and her heart melted all over again. Ethan immediately trusted the older man and she loved the innocence of that, in a world that judged him on his past, his behaviour, a child cut through all that and saw only the good in him. Since she’d found them curled up together she’d been barely holding things together. All her common sense and resolve was being questioned by these two males.

She’d hidden in the kitchen when she’d discovered, and it was once the coffee machine had filled and she could hear movement in the lounge that she re-entered the room. Sonny was awake, stroking Ethan’s hair, a look of wonder on his face.

                “He crawled in here about six. Said he was looking for you...”

Martha shook her head, “think I’ve lost any authority I ever had over him.” She moved across to him and stroked Ethan’s cheek. “He likes you.”

Sonny sighed, “he’s a lovely kid...too nice to be hidden away Martha.”

Groaning she left the room.

After a shower and changed into jeans and a sweater, she finally rejoined the boys to find Ethan sat up on the worktop in the kitchen directing a still half dressed Sonny to make him breakfast.

                “Apple juice is the GREEN carton!” He giggled as Sonny held up an orange one.

                “You sure? That looks like an apple to me!”

He pointed at the blatantly orange fruit that adorned the juice carton in his hand, and Ethan held a hand to his head and groaned, “Sonny!”

Laughing, Sonny scrunched his hair and finally produced the apple juice that Ethan was desperate for.

                “SO what you eating?” he asked handing him a glass.

                “Shall we all go out for breakfast? There’s a nice cafe near the park?”

Ethan nodded enthusiastically, “great!” Jumping down he ran towards his bedroom grinning.

Martha had looked at Sonny at that moment in the centre of her home, laughing with her son, and looked delicious in just his boxer shorts, but she couldn’t think like that. If they got out into the fresh air, her hormones would calm and she’d get over this.

But watching the two run around chasing a football, the squeals of excitement echoing around the cold morning, she wasn’t feeling any change. She was still seeing him in a different light, and for a snapshot, she saw how her life could be, life as a family. But it was never happening. She had to keep reminding herself of that.

A couple of hours later Sonny had to leave, he was still wearing the clothes he’d put on the previous morning, and he had to work in the restaurant. Martha had called her father several times; she was more worried about him being home without Sonny than she was about leaving Ethan. Though Stephanie loved him like her own child, she was the greatest ally.

As they waved goodbye to Sonny, she led Ethan back to the house, only to see Stephanie watching out of the window. Jogging up the steps to her house, she opened the door and found her godmother in her lounge.

                “Visitor?”

Martha nodded, trying not to beam, she’d been so happy with Sonny, away from everything bad, everything traumatic.

                “That was Sonny...Dad’s lodger. He...er...he was worried, I got a bit drunk and a bit emotional on Saturday...he wanted to check I was ok and I wasn’t answering my phone.” It was a little white lie, but Martha was a little bit surprised at the hostility she was sensing from Stephanie.

                “So he stayed?”

Martha smiled, not wanting to deal with this now, “on the sofa, we had a lot to talk about...”

                “Hmmm.”  It was half sigh half snort.

Sighing Martha took Ethan’s hand, “him helping Dad is what’s going to get me home. He’s the answer to my prayers Steph, don’t be mad, and don’t get the wrong idea.”

A few hours later and it was supposed to be her time to leave, but Martha had loved the extended time with Ethan, and was greedy for more. So she called Sonny. Things were good at home; her father was well, happy.

So she stayed another night.

It was even harder to leave the next morning, but to Martha the end was finally in sight, things were looking up. Ethan was devastated when she dropped him to preschool, but she reassured him that she’d be home a lot more often. She just needed to speak to her father, explain that she was needed back here. Tell him about Ethan. She couldn’t risk bringing him to the farm, not yet, but she could tell her father.

It just wasn’t going to be easy.

It was mid afternoon when she finally reached to the farm courtesy of a herd of escaped goats on the track, which held the train up for over forty minutes. She was rostered to work that evening, her and Sonny were now trying to split most things between them. The house was empty, so she made for the shower, changed and then headed for the restaurants. All roads seemed to lead to that place.

Throwing open the door, she paused at the sound of laughter, looking up she saw her father and Eamonn sat at a table giggling like two children.

                “Are you two drunk? It’s four o’clock in the afternoon!”

Eamonn shrugged, “not drunk...but our lunch has become a bit more than two pints of beer!”

Rolling her eyes Martha crossed the room to her father, “are you ok?”

He nodded, “never felt so great. I worked for a few hours last night...I’m getting back to normal Martha, and it’s all due to you!”

He stood and pulled her into his arms, “you are the greatest daughter a man could ask for.”

Martha absorbed that hug and forced away the memories of his distaste at the words of Scott all those years ago. A lot had happened since then and she had to fully forgive him, it wasn’t until she told her whole sordid story to Sonny that she realised how much she resented James for telling Scott where she’d parked, without his interference she’d have got away unscathed, and not pregnant she warned herself, and her father for doubting her, for believing and caring about Scott’s bullshit.

Time had moved on, and life was what it was. She now had to make everything else right, tell her father that he was a grandfather, introduce the two men in her life.

                “On Friday we’re going to Cheltenham, for the races.”

She moved out of his father’s embrace and held him at arm’s length, “we?”

He nodded, “a couple of days, I won’t get drunk...I just need some fun Martha, you understand that, don’t you?”

What she knew was that she wouldn’t be able to go and see Ethan for a whole weekend, or that her father wouldn’t get any closer to getting back to work. He wanted fun, but what about her? Then she chastised herself, he’d had a stroke, he’d been SO ill, then he’d had to come back in a compromised way. None of it was easy for him and he’d done it all in such an uncomplaining way.

                “Of course I don’t mind.” She turned to Eamonn, “and if ANYTHING goes wrong Mr O’Malley I will hold you personally responsible. You hear me?”

Eamonn laughed then gave a mock salute, “come on Carl, let’s get back to the house and plan!”

Martha checked over the books, monitored the stock and then chatted to Tom the chef as he arrived to prepare for the evening. Everything was running smoothly. She sighed; she’d tell her father after his weekend away, let him have his fun. Then she’d start spending more time in London, it was no longer a choice, it was necessity.

Sonny had travelled two hours away to meet Johnny and discuss their plans. Now that he was well and truly ensconced in the Oldbury camp - a little quicker than they expected, so Sonny was rightly wary. Walking into a city centre pub he ordered a pint of beer then moved to a corner table, opening the newspaper he’d bought at the station, straight to the racing pages.

                “All right mate?” Johnny’s arrival pulled him from his deep concentration.

He nodded at his friend, “tell me it’s good.”

Laughing he took a swig from his own pint, “going on a job with them tonight. They want us to cause a little damage somewhere out your neck of the woods.”

Sonny’s ears pricked up, “where?”

He shrugged, “some land Oldbury’s after.”

                “Shit! That could be Carl’s place; he’s been quiet since he set the barn on fire, almost confessed to arson. If it is I’m going to have to fill you in again, you know that?”

Johnny laughed, “I let you hit me last time, remember that quirt!” But he could see the seriousness in Sonny’s eyes, “this family really got to you, hey?”

Sonny shrugged, “they’ve been good to me, they deserve better.”

                “I’m meeting that idiot Gripper at ten; we’re going for a few pints first...won’t let them get to the house till after eleven. If it’s your place you’ll be ready, yeah?”

Sonny nodded, “but not TOO ready, if this is your initiation you have to succeed.” He thought for a minute, draining his pint. “Another one?”

When Johnny nodded he moved to the bar still thinking.

                “This makes me think they’re suspicious of you, think you might know me.”

Johnny looked up surprised, “really?”

He nodded, “why else would they go after Carl’s place again after leaving it for a month or so? I think that if you don’t cause maximum damage then they’ll not accept you, and all this is a waste of time.”

Johnny thought for a moment, “so?”

                “You need to instil maximum damage with the least impact.”

He lifted an eyebrow, “so you mean you leave us a treat?”

                “Almost. They’ve tried vandalism, arson, what they thinking of tonight?”

Johnny shrugged, “Gripper said they’re ‘bringing in the heavies’, make of that what you will.”

Sonny was undecided, if they damaged fences again, then the animals were at risk, the only other out houses at the farm were stone, so arson was likely to be less successful.

                “Machinery...do you think they might want to damage that?”

Johnny shrugged, “maybe I could influence that?”

Sonny nodded, “if I get Eamonn to move the best stuff to one of the barns but leave the stuff they can face losing elsewhere, then we both win?”

                “I’ll try my best, as long as you turn up within fifteen minutes you’ll limit what gets wrecked.”

Carl was as pissed as a fart, Sonny laughed as he swayed along to the radio, Lucy rolling her eyes in disgust.

                “You should turn in Carl, you don’t want Martha catching you like this, she’ll never let you go to the races if you’re this pissed.”

He laughed, “you’re right mate!” Throwing an arm around his shoulder, “she’ll bloody kill me!” As Sonny helped him in the direction of his bedroom, Carl looked up at him, “thanks Sonny, I appreciate all you do to help me here, help us.”

Sonny was humbled. Since Carl had found him intend on at least causing physical and criminal damage, he’d had a roof over his head, now a regular salary, and a feeling that he belonged somewhere for the first time in his life. As he watched the older man stumble slightly, he sighed, he loved everyone of the Mansell family.

Once the two older family members were despatched off to bed, Sonny felt the panic rising. He didn’t want to abandon the two in bed, but he feared for so many things. An hour away in a pub, the thought of Oldbury’s cronies attacking the farm was an idle threat. Now back at the house he realised the vulnerability, Carl and Lucy in bed, but then there was Martha, her car was in the yard, so she’d be walking back from the restaurant. He glanced at his watch, just after ten. She was the one at risk from anyone entering the farm, so he grabbed his coat to go join her. As he strolled up the road to the village, he was glad that Ethan didn’t live with them, Martha was right, as long as Oldbury was around then he wasn’t safe. He had to push on with this plan.

Tuesday night was never a busy night, and by just after ten the last of the diners were organising their bills and making to leave. Tom and his assistants had cleaned the kitchen and Paul had re-laid the empty tables for the morning.

                “Go home Paul, I’m sure you’ll be glad to see those kiddies tucked up in bed.”

He smiled; the younger waitresses had gone half an hour earlier, “I don’t like leaving you here alone.”

                “I’ll help her lock up.”

Both heads snapped up at the voice and Martha couldn’t hide the smile that spread across her face, she didn’t realised how much she’d missed him that afternoon.

                “Sonny! Didn’t expect you here tonight.”

He shook hands with Paul who was donning his coat, “dark night, fancied a drink, but the clientele in the pub wasn’t up to much.”

Behind the counter she reached for the vodka bottle, “the usual?”

He nodded, lowering himself on to the stool the patron side of the bar he watched her move, cashing up the till, restocking the wine fridge. The weekend had changed things between them, he understood her, respected her, and to be honest, it had only made his love for her grow. He’d never felt like he did about anyone else, he liked sex, he lusted after women and he’d had lots of encounters, usually to force away him demons, but he’d never wanted to just BE with someone before. Sitting watching her work, exchanging pleasantries, it was the greatest feeling. All he had to do was get rid of Oldbury then make her realised that he could be everything she needed.

He was so distracted that he didn’t realised the time, glancing at the clock he saw it was just before eleven, he’d intended to get her home safely, then confront Johnny and whoever else Oldbury sent to attack the farm. He was under no illusion that they were coming for the farm, the more he thought about it, the more he realised it was an initiation for his friend. Proof that Johnny was nothing to do with him.

                “Come on, it’s late. Let’s get home. I’ll come in tomorrow afternoon and clear up the rest.”

                “What’s the rush?” He shrugged, “it’s cold...you know how thin my coat is. Plus there’s a bottle of red wine at room temperature back at the farm.”

                “And that’s what sold it to me!” She beamed, and went into the office to get her coat.

As they walked back across the dark path towards the farm, Sonny could hear the revving of a car in the distance, and saw some lights on the road that linked the farm to the main road.

                “Who’s that?” Even in the dark he could make out Martha’s fear in her eyes.

                “Not sure,” they entered the yard. “Go inside Martha.”

                “If it’s someone up to no good then I want to be there.”

He shook his head, “listen to what you’re told for once in your life. If for no other reason do this for your kid, you need to think of that.”

                “Don’t start using Ethan against me!” She squared up to him.

His laughter was out of place in the situation, but he couldn’t resist, “someone should really have slapped your arse a lot more often as a kid. Now get in the house.”

Giving a scowl she made for the front door, not wanting him to see the smirk as she turned away from him. He’d not need to know the vision his chastisement brought to her mind, or the fact that it made her more than a little excited.

Must be the tension of the evening, she convinced herself.

Trying Not to Love You - Part Thirty

A/N - Admittedly, this is far too young to be Ethan in the picture...but it's SO cute! :)

Chapter Thirty

Sonny held her, his fury and anger unending, but she was shaking, she was terrified, and for a moment he had to think of her. He’d worried she’d push him away, but she’d fallen against him as the tears fell and all he could do was hold her, tightly, the fingers of one hand buried in her hair, his lips on her forehead. If he could take away this he would, and as he held her he knew that no matter what happened to Oldbury, nothing would ever change this harsh reality.

When she calmed herself, she stepped back slightly, her eyes dropped to the floor. Sonny reached out and tilted her chin, forced Martha to look at him, “don’t ever be ashamed, don’t ever hide...you are better than that, ok?”

Sighing she moved away from him, into the kitchen. He followed and stood watching her as she pulled a bottle of red wine from the cupboard and started to open.

                “I saw him...beating someone up.”

He pricked his ears up at that, nodding, encouraging her to talk. She filled two glasses and handed him one, then they both moved back to the lounge, sitting together on the sofa.

It was a long time since Martha had revisited those days, and even more poignant was the fact that she’d never vocalised the hell that the last night with Scott had been. Calmly, almost serenely, she told him all that had happened.

She’d been excited, Scott was talking about taking her away and she’d seen a deal on the internet for a long weekend in New York. He was always busy, so she wasn’t sure he’d agree to it, but she really wanted to go...and it was cheap.

She’d called to his office, he ran a car dealership in a nearby town, but he wasn’t there, so she drove home past his father’s house. That was when she spotted his car, parked around by one of the outhouses. She knew she’d always been wary of him, there was a side to him she’d not seen, but knew was there. But to see him shirt off booting absolute lumps out of an unconscious man was more than she could cope with.

She’d escaped home before he saw her there and tried to process what she’d seen, but the more time passed the more terrified she became. Eventually she called him, he was laughing, ‘at the golf course’; life went on after almost killing someone.

He came to the farm straight from the gold course, euphoric at winning, he wanted her to go out with him, but she couldn’t face it. Her father had been sat in the lounge, Aunt Lucy was out, and she’d gone into the kitchen.

Scott had followed her, “come on, I want you to come out with me.”

She shook her head, “I’m tired. Tomorrow maybe?”

His laugh had been scary, “I’ll let it ride this time, but you’re my wife to be Martha, and if I want you out with me you’ll be there. Do you hear me?”

He’d never been aggressive with her, but then she’d only worn his engagement ring for a few weeks, and she’d always done everything he wanted up till that point.

As he bent down to kiss her, he pushed her left hand up against the recently boiled kettle, the metal scorching her skin. She gasped, snatching her hand away, and he sighed, grabbing her chin in his hand, “Oops. I’m so clumsy sometimes.” His eyes held hers, the threat obvious in his snarl   “Be ready tomorrow, seven o’clock.”

And he marched out.

Looking back she could have done many things, told her father, or his father, or even taken her injured arm to the police. Instead she called Stephanie. She went to stay with her godmother several times a year and she was more than happy to offer her a room for a little while.

Her plan was to leave, go to London, regroup then plan the rest of her life. The following morning she had as much as she could fit wedged into the ever impractical Herman and was set to leave, drive away.

But looking at her hand, to the engagement ring she knew that she couldn’t leave this all to her father. Scott turning up here for her angry...her family would be at risk. No she had to confront him, tell him, then get away.

It was late afternoon when she called him, but there was no answer, so she called a few of his usual haunts, and surprise-surprise he was at the Royal Oak. Another phone call to James revealed that he was in the bar with a couple of friends.

Hiding Herman at the back of the pub car park, she tried to control her anxiety as she walked into the building.

Scott was stood at the bar with a few friends laughing, Saturday evening and he had nothing better to do, obviously. She’d taken off the engagement ring and it was clutched in her palm as she walked across the bar towards him.

                “Can I have a word with you please Scott?”

He shrugged, “what?”

                “In private?” Whilst she wanted the public place for her own safety, she knew that dumping him in front of his friends would only anger him.

                “You can say what you want in front of the boys.”

She almost bottled it, she was so anxious, but then she looked down at the blisters on her wrist, the angry red burn, there was more to life than this. She was no one’s punch bag...and she’d seen how Scott ‘punched’.

Taking a deep breath she held out her hand, “I’ve got this for you.” When he held out his hand, she opened her fingers and let the ring fall into his palm. “I’m leaving town...this is yours.”

With an apologetic smile she made to leave, unable to believe that it had been that easy.

She hadn’t reached the door when his voice echoed around the pub, which had become busier since she’d arrived.

                “YOU are leaving ME?” His laugh was eerie and she stood static, frozen in time, her back still to him. “In front of everyone here, YOU jumped up little Martha Mansell are walking out on me? After everything I’ve done for you?” She turned slightly and saw that he’d jumped down from his bar stool and was moving through the bar theatrically.

                “Ladies and gentlemen, this whore here, this teasing slut is dumping me after all the time and effort, not to mention money that I’ve put into her. I’ve turned a blind eye to her flirting with all and sundry, I’ve ignored her spending my money without my permission...”

And so the lies rained down on her. She could have spoken out, told him that he was speaking bullshit, but she wanted to leave, to escape, that was all she wanted. Head bowed she listened to the diatribe that was Scott Oldbury’s fragile ego and despite the humiliation and shame, with every word she knew that this was over, he’d never want her back. She could escape.

Eventually she slipped out of the door, her humiliation complete, but a door opened to a more secure future.

She’d gone home, to say goodbye to Lucy and her father, and this was the only part of the story she didn’t tell Sonny, as her father had screamed at her for humiliating him. She didn’t know he’d been in the bar, and to hear such derogatory things about his daughter turned him into a man she didn’t recognise. Running back to her car, that James had helped her store behind his father’s garage, she could barely see for tears.

As she unlocked the car door, she heard a noise behind her, and when she turned around thinking James had come to say goodbye, she came face to angry face with Scott.

She didn’t have to elaborate on the last part of the story, needless to say he beat and violated her in ways she hadn’t thought imaginable, and when he finally left her bruised, battered and bleeding, she managed to climb into the car, grateful for the darkness to hide her from other drivers. How she got to London she didn’t know, but she stopped a few miles out of town and cleaned herself as best she could. In fresh clothes, and with her hair scraped back, and some light make up, she looked beaten, but not half dead.

                “And you hadn’t seen Oldbury until that night in the pub?” Sonny was toying with the stem of his wine glass; the simple gesture didn’t hide the tension in his shoulders, the clench of his jaw.

                “Don’t make this your battle, it’s over. It was a long time ago.”

He looked to the ceiling for a moment, fighting his conflicting emotions, “I don’t want to make this about me, but that man...after everything he’d done to date I hated him, but this...” he cupped her cheek gently, “I could kill him, I really could. I swore I’d never do time again, but I’d happily kill him tomorrow, and returning to jail would be worth it.”

Martha sighed, “and you’d be just another victim of him. He’d win again.”

                “So what happens now?”

She sipped her drink, the million dollar question, “nothing.  We go back to things, I secure things for my Dad, then when he’s fit...I come back here and become a mother again. What other options are there?”

                “Running away again?”

She turned to him, “what do you want from me Sonny? First I’m away from Ethan too much, then being with him is running away.”

He sighed, “I just want to sort this for you.”

                “Back to not being your problem.”

His hand lifted to her cheek, fingers sliding gently over her skin, “is this why you pushed me away? Ethan?”

                “Partly, but things are complicated. I hadn’t had sex since that time until the other week, with you, I was scared, it was something I never thought I’d manage again.”

He sighed, memories of that night as always vivid in his mind, “and we were anything but gentle.”

Martha smiled at that, they’d not dissected what had happened between them, “that wasn’t important, I thought it would be, but it wasn’t. I wasn’t scared. And I’m just grateful for that.”

“Is that what I was to you? Someone to get you over your trauma?” She could tell he was hurt, and she hated that. But nothing had changed, they were still wrong for each other, and he was still struggling to get that. “What happened happened because we were emotionally fraught, we’d had stress beyond belief, we were both taut, pent up. I told you I regretted it, and I was wrong. I didn’t Carter, but that doesn’t mean that there’s any future in it.”

Sonny rolled his eyes, “I think you’re wrong, and to be honest Martha I’m wondering just how many excuses you’re going to come up with, and then I’m going to have to fathom out why you are STILL fighting it.”

She shrugged, “we’re friends, and I appreciate you in that role, and you feel the same. Neither of us is exactly hitting off friends in an over popular way. You are so important to me, staying with my Dad, helping me keep things going.”

                “So I’m a glorified baby sitter?”

Exasperated she shook her head, “no, we you’re someone I trust, someone I can turn to...I’ve never had that. I have too much on my plate to contemplate something more than friendship with anyone, but especially with you, I need you in other ways, can’t you see that? Then there’s the you and Scott war which I have no intention of worsening, and then there’s you. You aren’t the type to settle for this, she gestured around herself, you don’t do average or walks in the park. You are into excitement, gambling, pubs, constantly changing environment, sorry but you don’t do stable, you don’t do static...I know that much about you.”

                “You make me want to change.” He offered.

She greeted that with a smile, “no one should ever make you change. You’ll find someone who ticks all your boxes Sonny. One day.”

It didn’t make sense to him, not really, but it had been an emotionally fraught day, he wasn’t about to push things. Instead he accepted her sofa for the night, there’d be time to talk in the morning, before he went back to organise things at the restaurant. That was his priority.

Martha barely slept, she was hyper aware of Sonny on her sofa. She could hear him move, hear the odd sigh. She remembered when he’d seduced her, talking about a mere door separating them back at the farm, in this small flat it was even more difficult. But here, away from the farm, it was false, she was letting her guard down and that was wrong. She had to keep thinking of Scott, of what he could do. Then she couldn’t sleep for a whole different reason.

It was light when she woke, she barely slept in, and glancing at her alarm clock she gasped to see it was after eight. Ethan never slept that late. Pulling a cardigan over her pyjamas, she made for the lounge. She needed coffee.

The sight that greeted her caused more heartache than anything she’d ever experienced in her life. Sonny was flat out on his back, the duvet not covering all his bare chest, but that wasn’t it, she was getting used to his chest, if that was what you could call it...half on top, half beside him also under the duvet was Ethan arms wrapped around Sonny’s neck, both fast asleep.