Trying Not to Love You - Part Fourteen

Chapter Fourteen

 

                “Can you open your mouth that much?” Martha asked as she placed a sandwich on the table in front of him and grinned.

Sonny tested his jaw then gave a smile, “think I’ll survive.”

                “Coffee?”

He nodded again as he tried to lower himself to one of the chairs, and it was only then that she realised how much pain he was still in. “And pain killers?”

Sonny laughed, “coffee’s great, I can sort the rest out...I’m not a complete invalid.”

Martha eyed him from across the kitchen, “think I may remember these days in the future, never know when I may need to remind you of how nice I’ve been to you!”

Shaking his head he lifted the mug and tried a tentative sip, then grimaced, he was a long way from being fit.

He couldn’t believe how tired he was, and he’d slept most of the last two days, which was annoying, because he wanted to sort out the men who’d jumped him. He’d made one grave mistake, he’d been more than angry when she’d rejected him, then there was the encounter in the morning. He’d stormed off, not waited and allowed clarity to guide his judgement. And walked straight into the lion’s den. All he’d wanted was to see if his suspicions were correct, that Oldbury was the one behind the damage to the farm, that this was all his work, and he’d got jumped. He rarely made mistakes, and he was about to rectify that, as soon as he could breathe again.

                “What are you still doing here?”

He heard the snarl from behind, and turned to see Lucy stood there; the older woman had always treated him with scorn. She had the good grace to flinch when she saw the extent of his injuries.

                “Lucy, what a pleasure to see you. Coffee?”

She huffed, “how dare you offer ME a coffee in MY own home?”

Smiling he lowered himself gingerly into a chair at the kitchen table, “does that mean you’re making? Great, I take it black.”

Scowling again she stormed towards the kettle, “typical of someone like you...take take take!”

He laughed as she made a pot of tea, mumbling under her breath.

                “For someone who’s normally so outspoken you ain’t half muttering away. Not like you to be so quiet.”

                “You don’t want to know what I think of you, taking advantage of first Carl, he’s a soft touch, and now Martha. They may fall for your butter-wouldn’t-melt front, but I don’t!”

Sonny burst out laughing, “in my life I’ve been called many things, but never that. I’m not pretending to be anything other than I am...me. And I’m not asking for any favours. But on the other hand you are out of order. If Carl and Martha are good to me, then that’s because they are good people. Maybe I don’t deserve that, but on the other hand I’ve done nothing to offend you, so I don’t deserve your disdain.”

Lucy huffed, but despite that handed him a mug of coffee made to his specification.

Martha had been listening to the conversation from the utility room, she had come in the back way to store her muddy boots, and it was the banter between Sonny and her aunt that made her stop. He really had her number, her father could never manage the old nagger that well, she’d run rings around him for years.

Stepping into the kitchen she took in the sight, Aunt Lucy lips pursed in anger, but with a definite hint of humour in her eyes. She was enjoying sparring with Sonny. He was sat across from her, one arm stretched across the back of the adjacent chair; the other was over his ribs, guarding his pain. Subtle but it was there. As if the facial bruises weren’t enough of a reminder to the state she’d found him in.

                “So you two...getting along?”

She made for the kettle biting the inside of her cheek to stop her smile. Sonny had spotted that and was quite happy to wind up the older woman.

                “She’s all bark and no bite Lucy, aren’t you?”

As Lucy’s scowl deepened, Martha grinned, “you’re a softy really Aunty, aren’t you?”

The older woman scowled, “no. Now can you give me a lift to bingo? Mr Leighton will drop me home.”

Martha fought her smile again, “not before dinner.” She nodded towards the slow cooker in the corner of the room; the smell that filled the room was more than inviting.

Giving a nod of acquiescence, she lifted her nose in the air as Martha set about feeding them all.

Lucy left the room after eating, to get changed and Martha and Sonny burst out laughing.

                “That was so hard keeping a straight face!” he exclaimed.

Martha laughed, “I know, she was dying to laugh herself I swear.” Standing she smiled at him, “seconds?”

                “Do you mind? I’m starving suddenly.”

She lifted his bowl and refilled it, “seriously though, once you’re better you really need to start looking after yourself, I told you a few weeks back that you had to come here for food and you’ve not bothered. That ends; from now on I’m the boss, ok?”

He waved away her concern, “I’m my own boss.”

She shook her head, “Nope, guess again, breakfast and dinner, and I won’t take no for an answer.”

Sonny sat back watching her move confidently around the kitchen, he quite liked this dominant Martha.

                “So what’s the score with Lucy?”

She glanced at him from her place near the sink, “what living here?” When he nodded she sighed, “when my mother died she came to live here, she’d my mother’s sister, and she promised to help my Dad out with looking after me. I mean the restaurant had only been going for a couple of years, he was flat out trying to make something of himself, and then he was abandoned by my mother.” She gave a wry laugh, “not really...she died having my brother, complications. But now I can see how abandoned my Dad must have felt, at the time I was angry blamed everyone...and really it was devastating to everyone.”

                “So she looked after you?” He watched her intently seeing the mix of emotions awash her face.

                “Of a fashion. She was here. She doesn’t cook, rarely cleans, and always nags my Dad. But she was there when I came home from school. She was here when I was ill...She’s more like a Nan to me, really. And whilst she’s grouchy, she is also devoutly loyal and despite her chagrin would defend my father to the end. You know?”

Sonny had no idea what that meant, he’d never had anyone look out for him or defend him, let alone be loyal to him. Until last month when the woman in front of you defended you in front of the town. And what did you do? Chase her away. You don’t deserve that sort of a friend.

He gave an awkward grin, “was more a case of dog eat dog in my childhood. But that’s the care system for you.”

                “So you’ve no other family? I mean beyond your parents.”

He shook his head, “my mother didn’t speak to her parents, my father...I don’t even know his name, so no, I have no family.”

                “Shame. I always wished my brother had lived, and my mother of course, it was lonely being all the way out here with no siblings, but I had my Dad, had Aunty Lucy. So I can’t complain really, can I?”

He hated that after all these years the pain of his childhood could affect him so powerfully, and he had to look away for a moment, not able to meet her eyes.

She made to place a hand on his shoulder, but changed her mind; since he’d tried to kiss her she was desperate to avoid contact with him. But this little boy lost thing was really tugging at her heart strings. All she could see was a young, lonely Sonny, fighting for everything, a ball of angst and anger. The thought upset her, and she knew it was only half way to the truth.

Sonny was dipping back into that dark place, a mother too drunk to love him, a care system too corrupt to protect him, and the desperation of the other residents that led to fights and battles for dominance. He’d been bad, one of the worst, though his cheeky smile had saved him many times. But that time inside, prison, that return to structure, oppression and control, it was all too similar, all too familiar. He didn’t want to go back there, he couldn’t go back there. He had to break free, however that happened.  

A few days later and Sonny was up to leaving the house. There were just days until Carl came home, Martha was tying herself up in knots, and Lucy was pushing for an argument with him.

                “Come to the pub with me tonight? I need to get away from here, she’s driving me mad.”

Martha looked up from the kitchen table, the accounts for the restaurant spread across the space in front of her. “I’ve got to do this; I want to be ahead of myself so that I can be there for Dad.”

He shook his head, “you’re always working. I want to buy you a beer, or a wine. A thank you for everything.”

She looked at him, the bruises were fading, darkened cheek and jaw a long way from the vivid purple bruises earlier in the week, and with that his confidence was coming back, “there’s no need.”

He walked across and closed the ledger in front of her, “all work and no play...look it’s a drink, that’s all. You embarrassed to be seen with me?”

That was preposterous and she denied it vehemently, “of course not!”

                “Okay then, ten minutes? Enough time to brush your hair and swipe on some lippy.”

With that he marched out of the kitchen through the utility room towards his bedroom. He had insisted on moving back as soon as he felt a little more human, but since Portia Martha was feeling vulnerable. She wanted him back in the house.

The pub was busy, and as Martha had feared it became silent when they entered together. Sonny had little regard for what anyone thought or said it seemed to wash over him, so he marched up to James.

                “Vodka, large, and wine?” He glanced at Martha and when she nodded he turned back to the other man and gave a sarcastic smile.

James looked at Martha but she refused to meet his eyes, she wasn’t interested in his opinion. Handing her the drink once it was poured, Sonny leaned on the bar with one elbow beside her and perused the room.

Gripper and his band of idiots were sat in the corner and kept looking up and sniggering. It wasn’t until one of them made a gesture, a punch into his open palm that he fully realised that they were responsible for beating him up. Immediately he tensed, poised to rush across the room and pound their smug faces, but a hand on his arm restrained him.

                “You’re not at full strength, they’d hurt you again.”

He looked down at her and saw understanding there, she’d seen the gesture too, she was astute. “I want to kill him!” He hissed under his breath.

                “Don’t let him win.” He only wished he had her calmness, he was about to implode. “Revenge is a dish best served cold. You will have your time. And hopefully by then you’ll be able to punch without holding you presumably broken ribs.”

He looked at her again; he thought she’d condone him for that, well wasn’t Martha Mansell a contradiction?

But then she was more than that. Since he’d tried to kiss her she occupied far more of his time and thoughts than was healthy. The pain of her rejection still stung, but he wasn’t convinced that the door was closed to him. She liked him, he was sure of that. But there was Carl...he was the priority now. And having Martha as an ally was a good thing for two reasons, she was a good person, and so was good for him, and then there was the fact that being close to her wound up James. And that pleased him more than anything.

He ordered another drink for them both, and they stayed at the bar, talking, watching. Martha could sense that Sonny didn’t drop his guard once. But he was more relaxed than earlier.

                “So you’re Dad’s home on Monday?” James came and stopped the other side of the bar near them.

Martha turned to him, “yes. He can’t wait.”

James gave a quick derogatory glance in the direction of Sonny then sighed, “I’m sure he’ll be glad to be home to protect you.”

                “From who?” Sonny turned and snapped, “me? Or your bastard friends over there?”

James followed his glance immediately intrigued, “what?”

Martha smiled, “ignore him; he got out of bed the wrong side.” Then she gave Sonny a glare, she didn’t want James knowing about things.

Shaking his head he grabbed his drink and stormed across the room to the unoccupied dart board. From the bar she watched him throw aggressively, and ironically, or rather typically hit some really high scores.

                “He’s dangerous Martha, you really should watch out for him.”

She’d forgotten James was there. Shaking her head she sighed, “I put you down for more than an idle gossip James. He’s not a bad person. You don’t know him like I do.”

                “And why’s that? He’s been in town for months and NO one knows him, other than the women, and all they know is the size of his dick!”

”James!” Martha exclaimed, “anyone would swear you were jealous! We all know that the green eyed monster can make you do and say irrational things. You and everyone else made your mind up about him before ever speaking to him, so don’t come all petty and childish with me, you hear? I’ll have another vodka make it large, and a wine for me.”

When she paid for the drinks she followed Sonny to the corner of the room.

                “Darts, snooker, poker, brag...is there any element of pub warfare that you don’t dominate?”

He half laughed as he threw a bull’s eye, then turned to her, “I’ve been hanging out in pubs since I was sixteen, I’ll be thirty next month...that’s a lot of practice.”

Martha laughed, “that it is.”

A couple of hours later they were sat opposite each other in one of the booths in the pub, talking like they hadn’t before, about everything and nothing.

                “Come on, this night must finish with a curry. My final treat?”

The next morning Martha was meeting with the man her father had employed to break in his prize foals. It wasn’t a quick process and she didn’t know how they were going to afford it. So she was preparing her best begging face to speak to him.

As she pulled on her boots in the feed room, Tessa came and rubbed against her.

                “You still missing the old girl?” The dog looked at her forlornly, “me too!”

“Then I couldn’t have had better timing!” They both looked up at the voice, and Martha’s heart melted. Sonny stood there, a bundle of fluff in his hands. “This is Mickey. And he’s a collie...ten weeks old, and desperate for a new home.”

Martha walked towards him, “hello darling.” As she reached out a hand to stroke the puppy, Sonny held him out to him, and she was rewarded by the dog nuzzling in to her.

“He’s gorgeous!”

Smiling Sonny stepped back, “I’m not a dog man, but even I can see that he is adorable, and what with everyone around here missing Portia, I thought that he might be the thing that cheers you all up.”

It gave Martha the lift in her step that she’d been lacking and she spent the rest of her free time securing the feed room, making it puppy proof.