Trying Not to Love You - Part Twenty One

Chapter Twenty One

Martha’s heart raced, hardly able to believe she’d made that move; it was against everything she believed. But he didn’t fail her, the kiss was...everything. Her body ached and all she knew was him. His hands had lifted to cup her face, long fingers that cherished her as he anchored her still, then slid into her hair as he groaned against her lips. With every surge of his lips he pulled her closer, securing her tightly to him. His lips were furious, and she responded with fervour. It was too desperate to be sensitive or nurturing, instead it bordered on violent. And she knew she’d never known hunger like this, never wanted something or someone as much as she did this man, now at this very moment.

As he fought to dominate her lips, to control her, he backed her towards the door and she staggered at the sudden surge of movement, unable to focus on his mouth, his hands, his pelvis pressing into her AND the fact that her feet needed to move to keep up with her body. Grunting he slid his arms around her body supporting her, and pressed her against the wall.

She’d never felt so devoured, so worshipped, and that was just one kiss. She threw her arms around his neck as his teeth moved to her ear, then she pushed back, wanting a bit of control herself. Stepping back Sonny crashed into the kitchen table, hitting over a mug of tea, but neither cared about the mess, instead, he forced her with two more staggered steps that took them both towards the utility room. It was a battle of wills, both needing the other urgently, and he was dictating as Martha was swamped by his ravenous mouth.

In the safety of that darkened room, Sonny kicked the door closed locking them both in half light, then pressed her up against it, trying his best to control the ardour that threatened to take over everything, he’d never wanted to bury himself inside someone with such desperation. Then he gasped as Martha started to drag at his clothing, pushing up his t-shirt.

Lifting his head for a moment he allowed her to slide the garment over his head, and toss it to the floor. Then he devoured those gorgeous lips once again.

He wasn’t a selfish lover, but he’d always been visual, loving to look at his partners, gorging his eyes on their bodies, watching each touch and taste, but today, here, now, all he wanted was Martha’s hands on him, touching him, he craved the sensation of those small hands roaming over his skin. Once again he trailed his mouth to her throat biting at the sensitive skin, smiling at the goose bumps that were her response, she lashed out her tongue and lapped at his earlobe as her fingers sought out his nipples and tweaked them into hard points. He almost exploded on the spot.

Martha had waited forever to touch that body, those firm muscles, that smooth flesh, and she was in no rush to finish. Her heart was pounding, sensations sizzled through her like electric shocks, her legs were wobbling and she was fighting for breath. But it was amazing, and terrifying. As her legs buckled, he lowered a hand from her jaw to cup her backside, pulling her against him, hard and firm along her length.

It was a noise from behind the door that made them both freeze, “Martha?”

It was her father, they’d obviously disturbed him. She had a split second to make a decision, as her hand moved to the door handle to reassure the older man Sonny lowered his lips to her ears and whispered, “upstairs, my old room.”

She swung around to look at him, “my Dad...”

                “We can’t walk in there...I’m not letting you go,” his voice was a hoarse rasp.

Sensing her submission he lifted her up and she was once again spread against him, feeling him, instinctively her legs wrapped around him, her arms followed and she clung to him. His lips found hers, moulding, teasing, devouring all over again, as he kissed her he marched with the same determined purpose through the utility room, then the feed room, missing the sleeping Tessa by inches, then got to the bottom of the stairs.

Lowering her legs onto the first step, he felt her slide down his body, and suddenly he needed to see more of her, slipping the straps of her vest over her shoulders, he was rewarded with it disappearing down her body, slowly. Using his thumbs he dragged it over the curve of her breasts and sighed, he knew she’d be perfect. With both hands he cupped her, sliding his thumbs over each nipple he gasped as they got harder, darker in front of his eyes. His body was all set to explode all over again; he felt like a rampant teen, he had to have her now.

Their kisses were still frantic, out of control, and in desperation Sonny slid a hand up her thigh, seeking out her most sensitive parts with probing fingers, everything was so much easier with her being a step higher than him.  As he found her, slid his fingers into her he was amazed to find her warm and slick, as desperate for him as he was for her.

For Martha it was overwhelming, she felt as though she was on fire, he smelled amazing, his hands were like velvet and his mouth was ravishing anything he could touch. A voice somewhere told her this was wrong, but then his hand was easing up the leg of her pyjama shorts, and his bare chest pressed against her own. As his fingers explored and slid into her, she couldn’t fight the way her head fell back, and a moan escaped her lips. And exposing her throat to him he responded by licking her collar bone and the moans just kept coming.

Another sound, forced them to move again, they couldn’t be discovered, not like this. Sonny took her hand and dragged her upstairs to the room that until a few weeks ago had been his home.

Reaching for the bedside table, Sonny almost roared with pleasure to find a whole packet of condoms left inside. Reaching for one, it took him a split second to roll it on. Hands under her buttocks, he lifted her again, pushing her against the wall.  Without any further thought he battled her remaining clothes nudging past her shorts and drove into her, there, stood in the doorway. It was fast, furious but when she threw her head back, moaning in pleasure he didn’t think he could hold on any longer. Adjusting his angle he was rewarded with more than a moan, a sigh. A breathy - “Oh Sonny", as she writhed around him.

As her pleasure mounted he fought to control his own, then he felt her explode, convulse around him, dragging him deeper. With a grunt of desperation he let go, let the same pleasure wash over him and he honestly felt as though he’d died and gone to heaven.

He didn’t want to leave her; it was amazing to stand there, joined, together. But she was slumped against him, and he knew she needed to lie down. Her head was buried in his neck and she gasped as he slid from her. Moving her towards the bed, he quickly disposed of the condom, and pulled back the duvet, lowering her to the mattress. He wasn’t finished yet, in fact Sonny felt like he was only just beginning.

One of the things he loved about Martha was the way she pushed him, fought him, never just accepted. And as he joined her under that thin dark duvet that was exactly what happened again. Each time he touched her, tasted her, moved her to his advantage, she’d fight back, take over, and have her way. It was like a fight, one winning, then the other. And in all his years Sonny had never felt so...out of control. Eventually he threw her back onto the mattress and finished what he’d started a long time ago, and it left neither of them unsatisfied or in doubt as to exactly how essential it had all been.

Amazing, Sonny couldn’t think of another word. He was in a fog of emotion, of pleasure, he’d never felt like that before, he knew that. He had always enjoyed sex, he was good at it, he’d had enough practice, but with Martha he felt clumsy, eager...like a novice all over again. It was different, special...as he lay there with her beside him, he felt as though he’d finally found what he was looking for, it wasn’t the house, the restaurant, the town or even Carl. Martha was everything he’d spent his life looking for.

Rolling onto his side he smiled, she was lay beside him nervously clutching the sheet to her chest. She was the most beautiful woman he’d ever seen, inside and out, yet she didn’t know it. He’d realised that somewhere in the last hour. He’d wanted nothing more than to explore her, please her time and time again, but she was nervous, self conscious all the while being insatiable too. It was a contradiction that turned him on beyond belief. Already his body was hinting that he hadn’t had enough of her.

                “You’re beautiful.”

He reached out to touch her hair, drag a lock behind her ear, she flinched and he smiled, this was difficult for her, he could tell. But he’d help her, he’d take her hand and be there for any recriminations, any more hassle that she had to face. She never had to be alone ever again. And neither did he.

                “No I’m not.” Her voice was quiet when she spoke, and he laughed.

He traced her eyebrow with a finger wishing she’d open her eyes, look at him. “You are the most beautiful woman I’ve ever met. You can’t challenge that.”

That was met with a ppfft and that made him smile. There was that feistiness again.

Martha closed her eyes again, desperately trying to squeeze out the world, she had the duvet clamped over her, nausea threatened to overwhelm everything, suddenly this felt all wrong. She’d got carried away with desire, lust, at no point had she thought this through. She’d hoped that Sonny’s deep breathing hopefully indicating he was asleep, but he wasn’t, there was no chance of her escaping, running away, and it seemed he was intent on talking it through.

Then she felt his hand, long fingers stroking the hair from her eyes and her body started to betray her.

                “You ok?”

Swallowing her fear, her anxiety, she turned her head, opening her eyes, “yes.” Her voice was a croak.

                “That was amazing, we work Martha, we fit.”

That was not what she wanted to hear, she wanted to escape, lick her wounds then regroup. Instead she offered him an awkward smile and rolled slightly away from him. That didn’t deter him, he slid in behind her, spooning himself to her, his hand stroking her arm.         

                “This is going to shock everyone, hey? Me and you. No one will have seen this coming. We’ll shock everyone you know, I mean you the good girl, me the town rogue.”

She turned to stare at him, eyes wide, “we can’t...”

Taking her hand he lifted it to her lips and kissed her fingers, “we can, and we will...you’ll see.”

She glanced back at him not wanting to believe this, “no.” Every word she spoke was painful. She should never have done this, allowed this dangerous man into her life. She had Ethan to think about, she’d lived apart from him for months, her darling boy, and now she was complicating things by what? Sleeping with the enemy. That’s how Scott would see it, if he knew. And the last thing she needed was for him to be any more angry than he was. She thought back to the last night with him five years ago and shuddered, at least now she had better memories of being with a man, because regardless of how she felt it had been amazing, it had been more than that. It had been years since she’d listened to her libido, since that last time with Scott she’d never imagined she’d ever trust anyone enough to let them into her life, let alone her bed.

Sonny’s hand was toying with her hair, his lips were on her bare shoulder and it was hard to fight the sensation of being dragged under water, of being smothered.

                “I’m going to look after you Martha, forever; no one will ever hurt you, or hurt us.”

She turned to look at him, he was smiling, he looked younger than she’d seen him look, fresh faced, happy. She was going to change that, when she walked away from him. But this was fun, that was as far as it went.

                “I thought you didn’t do forever.” All he’d done to date was a string of one night stands, and that was what this was, another one in a long line. She’d fought being that statistic, but now faced with the option of more, it was the choice she’d take every time. There was no future here, no way.

                “I didn’t...until I met you. I don’t know how you’ve done it.” He slid closer to her, his mouth caressing her neck, his fingers reaching for hers.

                “What do you mean?” she turned to look at him. He was so beautiful, his dark eyes, his strong jaw, that unruly short hair.

                “I love you. Can’t believe it, but I do.”

Now she was scared. Someone like Sonny didn’t love lightly, and there was far too much that he didn’t know about her. How could he love her?

Sitting up she pulled the sheet around herself until she spotted her pyjamas. Dragging them on she was dressed before he’d managed to climb out of bed.

                “Where are you going?”

She smiled awkwardly, “back to the house, I need to check on my Dad...” With that she skittered out of the room.

Sonny looked around the room unable to believe that within seconds of their post coital bliss, he was lying alone watching her retreat. She was scared, he knew that. They were in the middle of a war with her ex, there was a lot at stake, but he wasn’t letting her run off, not like that.

Pulling on his own trousers, he was out of the bed and hot on her tail within a moment, and he caught up with her in the utility room. Reaching for her he stopped her, and he could see the fear in her face.

                “Martha? What is it?”

    “Just need to get back.”

He wouldn’t let her go, no way. “Don’t do this; don’t run away from me...from us.”

                “There is no us.”

He laughed, “you don’t do casual, and I can’t ignore how I feel. There is something here, something special.”

Martha was trying to wrench free of his grip, she needed to be away from him, needed time and space to think, to regroup. But he was restraining her, all smouldering scowl and bare chest, and he was more than a match for her.

Then he dropped his head and tried to kiss her, she turned, desperate to evade those lips, but he was wise to that. With his hand he tugged her chin around so that she was forced to see him for the split second before those magical lips found hers again.

The first kiss had been no fluke, within seconds she was clawing at him, as furiously as he was dominating her, easing her back against the washer, the hand that wasn’t securing her jaw steady and found her breast under her vest and her whole body was melting into his.

                “Martha?”

Her father’s voice from the kitchen was the wakeup call she needed, pushing herself free of Sonny, she took one last glance at the obscenely sexual man who stood beside her, eyes ravishing her even as she walked away from him, then smoothing out her clothes, tying back her hair, she stepped back into reality.