Trying Not to Love You - Part Thirty One

Chapter Thirty One

Martha watched Sonny and Ethan run around the park like banshees and her heart melted all over again. Ethan immediately trusted the older man and she loved the innocence of that, in a world that judged him on his past, his behaviour, a child cut through all that and saw only the good in him. Since she’d found them curled up together she’d been barely holding things together. All her common sense and resolve was being questioned by these two males.

She’d hidden in the kitchen when she’d discovered, and it was once the coffee machine had filled and she could hear movement in the lounge that she re-entered the room. Sonny was awake, stroking Ethan’s hair, a look of wonder on his face.

                “He crawled in here about six. Said he was looking for you...”

Martha shook her head, “think I’ve lost any authority I ever had over him.” She moved across to him and stroked Ethan’s cheek. “He likes you.”

Sonny sighed, “he’s a lovely kid...too nice to be hidden away Martha.”

Groaning she left the room.

After a shower and changed into jeans and a sweater, she finally rejoined the boys to find Ethan sat up on the worktop in the kitchen directing a still half dressed Sonny to make him breakfast.

                “Apple juice is the GREEN carton!” He giggled as Sonny held up an orange one.

                “You sure? That looks like an apple to me!”

He pointed at the blatantly orange fruit that adorned the juice carton in his hand, and Ethan held a hand to his head and groaned, “Sonny!”

Laughing, Sonny scrunched his hair and finally produced the apple juice that Ethan was desperate for.

                “SO what you eating?” he asked handing him a glass.

                “Shall we all go out for breakfast? There’s a nice cafe near the park?”

Ethan nodded enthusiastically, “great!” Jumping down he ran towards his bedroom grinning.

Martha had looked at Sonny at that moment in the centre of her home, laughing with her son, and looked delicious in just his boxer shorts, but she couldn’t think like that. If they got out into the fresh air, her hormones would calm and she’d get over this.

But watching the two run around chasing a football, the squeals of excitement echoing around the cold morning, she wasn’t feeling any change. She was still seeing him in a different light, and for a snapshot, she saw how her life could be, life as a family. But it was never happening. She had to keep reminding herself of that.

A couple of hours later Sonny had to leave, he was still wearing the clothes he’d put on the previous morning, and he had to work in the restaurant. Martha had called her father several times; she was more worried about him being home without Sonny than she was about leaving Ethan. Though Stephanie loved him like her own child, she was the greatest ally.

As they waved goodbye to Sonny, she led Ethan back to the house, only to see Stephanie watching out of the window. Jogging up the steps to her house, she opened the door and found her godmother in her lounge.

                “Visitor?”

Martha nodded, trying not to beam, she’d been so happy with Sonny, away from everything bad, everything traumatic.

                “That was Sonny...Dad’s lodger. He...er...he was worried, I got a bit drunk and a bit emotional on Saturday...he wanted to check I was ok and I wasn’t answering my phone.” It was a little white lie, but Martha was a little bit surprised at the hostility she was sensing from Stephanie.

                “So he stayed?”

Martha smiled, not wanting to deal with this now, “on the sofa, we had a lot to talk about...”

                “Hmmm.”  It was half sigh half snort.

Sighing Martha took Ethan’s hand, “him helping Dad is what’s going to get me home. He’s the answer to my prayers Steph, don’t be mad, and don’t get the wrong idea.”

A few hours later and it was supposed to be her time to leave, but Martha had loved the extended time with Ethan, and was greedy for more. So she called Sonny. Things were good at home; her father was well, happy.

So she stayed another night.

It was even harder to leave the next morning, but to Martha the end was finally in sight, things were looking up. Ethan was devastated when she dropped him to preschool, but she reassured him that she’d be home a lot more often. She just needed to speak to her father, explain that she was needed back here. Tell him about Ethan. She couldn’t risk bringing him to the farm, not yet, but she could tell her father.

It just wasn’t going to be easy.

It was mid afternoon when she finally reached to the farm courtesy of a herd of escaped goats on the track, which held the train up for over forty minutes. She was rostered to work that evening, her and Sonny were now trying to split most things between them. The house was empty, so she made for the shower, changed and then headed for the restaurants. All roads seemed to lead to that place.

Throwing open the door, she paused at the sound of laughter, looking up she saw her father and Eamonn sat at a table giggling like two children.

                “Are you two drunk? It’s four o’clock in the afternoon!”

Eamonn shrugged, “not drunk...but our lunch has become a bit more than two pints of beer!”

Rolling her eyes Martha crossed the room to her father, “are you ok?”

He nodded, “never felt so great. I worked for a few hours last night...I’m getting back to normal Martha, and it’s all due to you!”

He stood and pulled her into his arms, “you are the greatest daughter a man could ask for.”

Martha absorbed that hug and forced away the memories of his distaste at the words of Scott all those years ago. A lot had happened since then and she had to fully forgive him, it wasn’t until she told her whole sordid story to Sonny that she realised how much she resented James for telling Scott where she’d parked, without his interference she’d have got away unscathed, and not pregnant she warned herself, and her father for doubting her, for believing and caring about Scott’s bullshit.

Time had moved on, and life was what it was. She now had to make everything else right, tell her father that he was a grandfather, introduce the two men in her life.

                “On Friday we’re going to Cheltenham, for the races.”

She moved out of his father’s embrace and held him at arm’s length, “we?”

He nodded, “a couple of days, I won’t get drunk...I just need some fun Martha, you understand that, don’t you?”

What she knew was that she wouldn’t be able to go and see Ethan for a whole weekend, or that her father wouldn’t get any closer to getting back to work. He wanted fun, but what about her? Then she chastised herself, he’d had a stroke, he’d been SO ill, then he’d had to come back in a compromised way. None of it was easy for him and he’d done it all in such an uncomplaining way.

                “Of course I don’t mind.” She turned to Eamonn, “and if ANYTHING goes wrong Mr O’Malley I will hold you personally responsible. You hear me?”

Eamonn laughed then gave a mock salute, “come on Carl, let’s get back to the house and plan!”

Martha checked over the books, monitored the stock and then chatted to Tom the chef as he arrived to prepare for the evening. Everything was running smoothly. She sighed; she’d tell her father after his weekend away, let him have his fun. Then she’d start spending more time in London, it was no longer a choice, it was necessity.

Sonny had travelled two hours away to meet Johnny and discuss their plans. Now that he was well and truly ensconced in the Oldbury camp - a little quicker than they expected, so Sonny was rightly wary. Walking into a city centre pub he ordered a pint of beer then moved to a corner table, opening the newspaper he’d bought at the station, straight to the racing pages.

                “All right mate?” Johnny’s arrival pulled him from his deep concentration.

He nodded at his friend, “tell me it’s good.”

Laughing he took a swig from his own pint, “going on a job with them tonight. They want us to cause a little damage somewhere out your neck of the woods.”

Sonny’s ears pricked up, “where?”

He shrugged, “some land Oldbury’s after.”

                “Shit! That could be Carl’s place; he’s been quiet since he set the barn on fire, almost confessed to arson. If it is I’m going to have to fill you in again, you know that?”

Johnny laughed, “I let you hit me last time, remember that quirt!” But he could see the seriousness in Sonny’s eyes, “this family really got to you, hey?”

Sonny shrugged, “they’ve been good to me, they deserve better.”

                “I’m meeting that idiot Gripper at ten; we’re going for a few pints first...won’t let them get to the house till after eleven. If it’s your place you’ll be ready, yeah?”

Sonny nodded, “but not TOO ready, if this is your initiation you have to succeed.” He thought for a minute, draining his pint. “Another one?”

When Johnny nodded he moved to the bar still thinking.

                “This makes me think they’re suspicious of you, think you might know me.”

Johnny looked up surprised, “really?”

He nodded, “why else would they go after Carl’s place again after leaving it for a month or so? I think that if you don’t cause maximum damage then they’ll not accept you, and all this is a waste of time.”

Johnny thought for a moment, “so?”

                “You need to instil maximum damage with the least impact.”

He lifted an eyebrow, “so you mean you leave us a treat?”

                “Almost. They’ve tried vandalism, arson, what they thinking of tonight?”

Johnny shrugged, “Gripper said they’re ‘bringing in the heavies’, make of that what you will.”

Sonny was undecided, if they damaged fences again, then the animals were at risk, the only other out houses at the farm were stone, so arson was likely to be less successful.

                “Machinery...do you think they might want to damage that?”

Johnny shrugged, “maybe I could influence that?”

Sonny nodded, “if I get Eamonn to move the best stuff to one of the barns but leave the stuff they can face losing elsewhere, then we both win?”

                “I’ll try my best, as long as you turn up within fifteen minutes you’ll limit what gets wrecked.”

Carl was as pissed as a fart, Sonny laughed as he swayed along to the radio, Lucy rolling her eyes in disgust.

                “You should turn in Carl, you don’t want Martha catching you like this, she’ll never let you go to the races if you’re this pissed.”

He laughed, “you’re right mate!” Throwing an arm around his shoulder, “she’ll bloody kill me!” As Sonny helped him in the direction of his bedroom, Carl looked up at him, “thanks Sonny, I appreciate all you do to help me here, help us.”

Sonny was humbled. Since Carl had found him intend on at least causing physical and criminal damage, he’d had a roof over his head, now a regular salary, and a feeling that he belonged somewhere for the first time in his life. As he watched the older man stumble slightly, he sighed, he loved everyone of the Mansell family.

Once the two older family members were despatched off to bed, Sonny felt the panic rising. He didn’t want to abandon the two in bed, but he feared for so many things. An hour away in a pub, the thought of Oldbury’s cronies attacking the farm was an idle threat. Now back at the house he realised the vulnerability, Carl and Lucy in bed, but then there was Martha, her car was in the yard, so she’d be walking back from the restaurant. He glanced at his watch, just after ten. She was the one at risk from anyone entering the farm, so he grabbed his coat to go join her. As he strolled up the road to the village, he was glad that Ethan didn’t live with them, Martha was right, as long as Oldbury was around then he wasn’t safe. He had to push on with this plan.

Tuesday night was never a busy night, and by just after ten the last of the diners were organising their bills and making to leave. Tom and his assistants had cleaned the kitchen and Paul had re-laid the empty tables for the morning.

                “Go home Paul, I’m sure you’ll be glad to see those kiddies tucked up in bed.”

He smiled; the younger waitresses had gone half an hour earlier, “I don’t like leaving you here alone.”

                “I’ll help her lock up.”

Both heads snapped up at the voice and Martha couldn’t hide the smile that spread across her face, she didn’t realised how much she’d missed him that afternoon.

                “Sonny! Didn’t expect you here tonight.”

He shook hands with Paul who was donning his coat, “dark night, fancied a drink, but the clientele in the pub wasn’t up to much.”

Behind the counter she reached for the vodka bottle, “the usual?”

He nodded, lowering himself on to the stool the patron side of the bar he watched her move, cashing up the till, restocking the wine fridge. The weekend had changed things between them, he understood her, respected her, and to be honest, it had only made his love for her grow. He’d never felt like he did about anyone else, he liked sex, he lusted after women and he’d had lots of encounters, usually to force away him demons, but he’d never wanted to just BE with someone before. Sitting watching her work, exchanging pleasantries, it was the greatest feeling. All he had to do was get rid of Oldbury then make her realised that he could be everything she needed.

He was so distracted that he didn’t realised the time, glancing at the clock he saw it was just before eleven, he’d intended to get her home safely, then confront Johnny and whoever else Oldbury sent to attack the farm. He was under no illusion that they were coming for the farm, the more he thought about it, the more he realised it was an initiation for his friend. Proof that Johnny was nothing to do with him.

                “Come on, it’s late. Let’s get home. I’ll come in tomorrow afternoon and clear up the rest.”

                “What’s the rush?” He shrugged, “it’s cold...you know how thin my coat is. Plus there’s a bottle of red wine at room temperature back at the farm.”

                “And that’s what sold it to me!” She beamed, and went into the office to get her coat.

As they walked back across the dark path towards the farm, Sonny could hear the revving of a car in the distance, and saw some lights on the road that linked the farm to the main road.

                “Who’s that?” Even in the dark he could make out Martha’s fear in her eyes.

                “Not sure,” they entered the yard. “Go inside Martha.”

                “If it’s someone up to no good then I want to be there.”

He shook his head, “listen to what you’re told for once in your life. If for no other reason do this for your kid, you need to think of that.”

                “Don’t start using Ethan against me!” She squared up to him.

His laughter was out of place in the situation, but he couldn’t resist, “someone should really have slapped your arse a lot more often as a kid. Now get in the house.”

Giving a scowl she made for the front door, not wanting him to see the smirk as she turned away from him. He’d not need to know the vision his chastisement brought to her mind, or the fact that it made her more than a little excited.

Must be the tension of the evening, she convinced herself.