Trying Not to Love You - Part Twenty Three

Chapter Twenty Three

Drink wasn’t helping, that was for sure, this was the second day he’d woken with the hangover from hell and Sonny still wasn’t free of his torment. Now instead of childhood demons, he had Martha size ones battling for his attention and he hated how his life had changed. 

Sonny rolled onto his back and groaned, two days ago he’d had everything he’d ever desired, now he had nothing and all that self doubt and loathing was rearing its ugly head again. In times of trouble he had always resorted to something  - drink, women of some sort of fight...that was until he met Martha, since then he’d spent time talking to her, sharing meals, ideas and stories. It was unbelievable to think that she had had such a profound effect on him.

He thought back to the time they’d spent together, those stolen moments in his old bedroom. It had been magical, and he was almost unable to believe they wouldn’t be repeating it. He couldn’t understand Martha, people would talk, she was far too good for him in everyone’s eyes, but he knew they connected, they’d become such good friends over the last few months, and even when they were arguing...she knew how to wind him up, they were that much in tune.

He’d been angry, he’d tried to force her hand, now he needed to rethink, talk to her, reason. If he knew why she was denying him, then he could counteract her protests, but at the moment he was in the dark.

Pulling himself to his feet he groaned, feeling like shit was not a prerequisite for sorting his life out. A quick shower and he was feeling human. Walking into the kitchen he smiled to see Carl stood there trying valiantly to pour himself a cup of tea. Whilst externally he looked normal, strong, Sonny knew that he wasn’t and that every day activities were still a struggle for the older man, but not as much as people realising how hard things were. He was a very proud man.

                “Tea? Won’t say no.”

Carl smiled at him, “sleeping beauty hey? Thought you’d disappeared.”

He shrugged, “took my anger elsewhere Carl, I’m not the best angry drunk.”

                “Angry?”

Sonny met Carl’s eyes, he obviously knew nothing about his tryst with Martha, “Oldbury, working out how to plot my revenge.”

Carl dropped his eyes for a moment, “it was arson.”

Sonny snorted, “like there was a doubt. He was here the night before threatening Martha. I caught him, hit him...it’s my fault that he retaliated like this.”

Carl stepped towards him and placed a hand on his shoulder, “you think that’s a bad thing? He burnt a barn, but that’s better than what he would or could have done to Martha, he hurt her before and I don’t want to see it happen again.”

Sonny sighed, “I’m waiting on information, to take him down, properly.”

That caused Carl’s eyes to widen, “really?”

He nodded, “it involved some underhand tactics, but you know it’s our only option, he’s out of control.”

                “I don’t want to see you go down for him, are you sure you’ll be safe?”

Sonny laughed, “who knows? But I’ve caused more trouble than I’ve helped here, you’ll all be fine here without me anyway.”

Carl laughed, “you’re part of the team now son, ignore Lucy’s sniping, she likes you really. I can tell.”

                “Sentimental bullshit!” Sonny laughed, but used the opportunity to take over the tea making. “SO what did the fire guys say?”

Sonny started making toast as Carl explained that there were signs that someone had used a mixture of alcohol and antifreeze to set bales of hay alight, the wooden beams stood no chance. Sonny froze as he heard about antifreeze.

                “Portia...she was killed with antifreeze!”

                “She was.” He almost swayed at the feminine voice that came from the back door. Turning slowly he took in the sight of Martha, beautiful and brave Martha. “It’s not a brilliant accelerant, but when there’s fire it ignites. Seems that it may have been a message to us.” She nodded her head to the window, “fire investigators have just left, they’re convinced that it took forty minutes to go up in smoke, which to me is frighteningly fast.”

Sonny was glad of the distraction of this to take over from the awkwardness with Martha, “What did they say? Any leads?”

She shook her head, “without evidence or witnesses it’s all speculation.”

                “We’ll get even with him Martha, I was just promising Carl that.”

Marching to the fridge she opened the door and took out a can of diet coke, popping the tab then drinking a large amount, “this isn’t gang warfare, and I’m not getting stuck in the middle, we wait for the police to act, but we’re more vigilant, that is as much as we can do. So don’t go getting any ideas.”

Sonny tilted his head and stared at her with wide eyes, that caused her to shake her head, “I mean it Carter,” then she turned to her father, “and don’t you encourage him, ok?”

Both looked sheepish as she left the room.

Martha entered her bedroom and collapsed against the closed door, seeing Sonny, being normal...it was all so much harder than she imagined.

The party was for forty people, that night they had opened up the back yard and a small marquee had been erected. As she prepared to open for the evening, Helen, who was back being good friends, and her sister Mandy turned up at the door.

                “You ok girls?”

Mandy nodded, “really good. We are organising a party, a kind of ball. My husband comes home from Afghanistan in a couple of weeks, and we wanted to celebrate, and raise money for Help for Heroes too. James has said we can use the pub for free, but he’s not keen on catering for it. Would you guys give us a price?”

Martha nodded, “just let me check the diary.” She headed into the office and was glad to see the date was empty. Returning to the women she smiled, “perfect. I’m sure we can sort you with a good price, it’s a great cause after all.”

Both women smiled back, and Mandy added, “well we’ll be selling tickets ASAP; you better get shopping for that elusive dress!”

Martha groaned, she’d much rather be behind the counter working than part of the celebration.

Half an hour later they were all ready to go, Tom had the food prepared, Paul and Sara were ready to wait the tables, and Martha had the bar stocked and was bracing herself for the onslaught, tonight was a birthday party, a thirtieth of guy she recognised from school, she didn’t know him, but as the room started to fill she recognised a lot of the group.

She was talking to someone who’d been in her class at school, Alex, she hadn’t seen him in ten years or more so she spent a little while chatting to him as the restaurant filled with revellers. It wasn’t Alex’s family and friends calling him over that ended their conversation, but the sensation of eyes on her, from the door.

Looking up she met the glare of Sonny. He was supposed to be working, she felt it was important that they had all hands on deck for these first few parties, their success was everything. So she shouldn’t have been surprised to see him there, but after his disappearance two nights ago, she wasn’t sure whether he’d come to work again. But he was there, and the glare was back. They had to sort out this animosity soon. But amidst a room full of people was neither the time nor the place.

Instead she nodded in his direction, an acknowledgment at him taking his place meeting and greeting the arrivals, impeccable in his dark suit and dark shirt.

Glancing over a few minutes later Martha sighed, his hand in his pocket, talking to a couple of guys she didn’t recognise, Sonny looked relaxed, charming, the man she knew he could be. But it was the fact that his jacket was pulled open and revealing a rather suggestive hint of his firm torso, a body she remembered only too well, that made her turn away. This was harder than she ever thought.

Fortunately they were both busy and didn’t get the chance to spend too much time in the proximity of the other, and Martha was relieved to know they could still work together. That was vital. And work together they did, there seemed to be an understanding between them in that she would circulate and he would take over bar duties, then they’d almost telepathically swap roles.

It all made for a smooth night until one of the partygoers decided to pinch Martha’s bum. She was both furious and insulted, but Sonny, who’d witnessed it all flew across the room and manhandled the person outside before anyone was aware of what had happened.

Martha stood there hand on her lips watching the door that he’d disappeared through, he’d acted instinctively and decisively, and in that moment she was relieved he was there. Whilst she wasn’t scared, wasn’t about to let the man take advantage over her  - she was more than capable of standing up for herself, she felt a little pride at the fact that he’d defended her honour in such a definitive way. She’d been on her own for so long, that she felt flattered and grateful.

Sonny threw the drunk man in the gutter with a few expletives and words of warning, then stormed back into the restaurant. He couldn’t describe how he felt seeing the man grope Martha, it may have only been for a split second, but it was a second too long. Rushing over to her he had to rein in his emotions, she looked amazing tonight, understated in simple black trousers and a dark blue shirt, that hugged the body he’d not stopped dreaming about.

                “You ok?” He wanted to hold her, support her, but as he reached out to touch her, he pulled back his hand, he couldn’t do that.

She looked up and his heart wanted to break at the look in her eyes, part scared, part concerned, “is he ok?” she asked after nodding that she was fine.

He rolled his eyes, “what do you take me for? An animal?”

He made to walk away and she reached out, restrained him with a hand, and there it was that spark in the touch, he knew it’d be there. Staring at her hand his whole body was overwhelmed with the sexual tension that flashed between them.

                “I don’t want you getting into trouble. Ok?”

Her voice cut through his reverie and he looked up, met her eyes. Could she feel it too? If she did she was doing a great job of hiding it.

                “We need to talk Martha.”

She nodded, “later.”

The rest of the night passed uneventfully, but there was that charge between the, that seemed to connect them as they worked diligently.

Once the last punter had left, Sonny closed the door, turning around he surveyed the room, another several hours of clearing and it would be ready for the following day’s trade. But not now. He grabbed a bottle of vodka and a couple of glasses and carried them through to the office, to Martha.

She was sat at the desk, the night’s takings spread across the desk, and her head in her hands. This wasn’t going to play out as he hoped, any thoughts that she’d change her mind vanished at that moment.

                “You’re not going to give in to this, are you?” He sounded calmer than he felt. But he’d never felt so helpless in his life...not since he was a kid, and that wasn’t a time he even chose to remember.

She looked up and sighed, “Sonny we can’t, I can’t. I should never have...” She sighed, “it’s been a long time since I was with a man, the adrenaline, the moment.”

He glared at her, “don’t belittle me, what happened was special, don’t do that.”

She shrugged, “it can’t happen again, no matter what you think, but I want you here, I don’t want to lose you. You’re so important to us.”

She grouped her father into that, the plea to ignore the strongest emotions he’d ever felt, she was good, he’d give her that.

                “I can’t brush it off that easily.”

She stood and paced ignoring the glass he’d pushed towards her. “You have to. I’m sorry if I led you on.”

                “If?” he rolled his eyes again. “Hmm.”

Tilting back his head he knocked back two fingers of the clear spirit, then stared at her again, “I’m going away for a few days. Need to think.”

He stood and walked to the door, only pausing when she said, “I want you to come back.”

Come back to them; come back to the farm and the restaurant and her father. That was what she wanted, him as part of the team Carl talked about. Him as the hired hand.

Leaving her in the restaurant almost killed him, but he had to get away. He should go back to the farm, sleep. But he knew he couldn’t, so he grabbed a cab, headed to Northbury. There were clubs and pubs that opened most of the night. He could find oblivion then worry about tomorrow, tomorrow.