Lost and Found - 18

18

Amelia was shocked that he still could evoke that strong a reaction in her, after all this time. She had known he was going to be here, there was no surprise like last time.  She should have just nodded slightly then dropped her gaze away from him., not met those haunting eyes, that so familiar face. As it was she found herself fixed on his gaze. He looked pale, tired, but she couldn’t allow herself any sympathy. He was nothing to her anymore.

With eyes that seemed to be burrowing into her, he locked on to hers, and it was only when he tilted his head in the direction of one of the side doors leading away from the room, that she felt anger. He honestly expected her to join him for what? A secret rendezvous?

Shaking her head in an aggressive manner she made to look away, but the hurt expression, the obvious pain in his eyes floored her. Don’t fall for it! She told herself, her internal monologue at a screeching level, warning her to get away.

                “Daydreaming?” Clay’s friendly voice appeared at her ear and despite the shock, the shame at her reaction, she was glad of the chance to drag her eyes from Sol, and back to the man who stood beside her smiling with two glasses of champagne in his hands. Lovely, generous and caring Clay, Clay who’d never let her down.

Taking one she gripped it more tightly than necessary to stop her fingers shaking. She needed a few more of these to calm her nerves. But before tossing the drink down her throat in a rush, Amelia knew she had to keep her wits about her. If she played her cards right then she could get away without seeing anymore of him.

                “Just watching my friend be such a star! I feel like a proud mother!”

Clay chuckled, tossing an arm around her and pulling him towards him, “I can imagine you as a concerned and proud mother.”

                “You think?” She turned away from the central group to smile up at him. “That’s such a nice thing to say! Now did you spot any food anywhere?”

Clay directed her back into the reception area and pointed out the buffet tables and the hot canapés being delivered by yet more liveried staff. Grinning, she clapped her hands, “I’m starving!” Hoping that eating would settle her stomach that was still churning, the champagne was only upsetting it further!

They made their way around the room chatting to a few stragglers who also were only there for the food! Clay knew one woman from when he lived in London a few years back, so that was a funny reunion. Amelia knew a few mutual acquaintances of Li, but otherwise they people watched, giggled and from Amelia’s point of view, tried to forget that ‘he who shall now not be looked at OR named’ was the other side of the wall.

Amidst rounds of applause, speeches and talks started to echo from inside the room, so they made their way to the doorway to stand and watch, clapping appropriately. When Li stood up and took the acclaim, Amelia couldn’t resist an almighty ‘Whoop’ that caused her friend to chuckle on stage, Daichi to crane over the crowds to give a thumbs up, and then of course, more attempted eye contact from Sol. But she was prepared this time, and avoided it.

Then there was a real step down in formality, and Li, dragging a bemused Daichi across the room, came dashing across to Amelia and Clay. The four people dissolved into a round of hugs, kisses and obviously congratulations.

                “I’ve barely seen you and you fly home tomorrow!” Li moaned as they broke their best friend hug.

               

                “We’ll spend time together in the summer darling, take a holiday,” Amelia reassured her with another hug. “It’s a special and unique time for you, and you should be enjoying every second of it...” she then leaned close and added, “and phoning me with all the minute details!”

Li nodded, “I do that don’t I?” When Amelia nodded, she added, Will you come out for a drink later?” Li begged. “Once I’ve got rid of the slave drivers that is!” She gestured back to the group representing the publishers. “I’ve got to circulate like hell, when all I really want to do is chillax with you guys!”

                “Chillax? Surely that’s something I should be saying as I’m the one living across the pond!”

She chuckled, “it’s my favourite word of the moment....”

With that and a dramatic wave, she dragged Daichi off again, leaving Amelia laughing, “chillax! That girl is nuts!”

Clay grinned, “She is that! But does this mean that we can leave now?”

Amelia nodded, “I think it does! I need the bathroom, can you find our coats?”

Signs directed her deeper into the museum and she was relieved to see the international sign for the ‘ladies’. Entering a cubicle she sat down onto the closed lid and placed a hand over her chest. Her poor heart had been pounding as though she’d run a marathon for the last forty minutes. She just needed to sit, breathe and calm down a little.

It did help; she was calmer, now she just had to get out of there, quickly. Standing, she used the flush...she was in the toilet after all; anyone else in the bathroom would think she was mad...or unhygienic if she didn’t, then she pulled back the lock and made for the sink.

                “I thought you’d drowned!”

Looking up her heart leapt to her mouth as she spotted Sol leaning against the entrance to the room via the mirror. Spinning around she glared at him, “what the hell are you doing in here?”

Sol tried a half smile, but it just seemed a sad grimace, “you weren’t going to speak to me were you?” The last few months had aged him, she could see more of the grey peppering the hair around his ears, extra creases near his eyes...though they could be due to the amount of frowning he was doing.

She shook her head, “no, I wasn’t and that hasn’t changed. We have nothing to say to each other. Can you just get out of my way?”

                 “Come on Meal, I just want to talk...” he took a step towards her.

Amelia was angry now; any sympathy for Sol had long gone. This was her at her most pissed off. “You don’t get it, do you? I am here because of my friend; I had no intention of seeing or talking to you ever again. So please don’t even think of staying here and causing suspicion. I’ve had a life time worth of you Sol, I really have.”

She tried to pull the door, but he remained pressed against it.

                “I never wanted this Meal, and seeing you with someone else is breaking my heart.”

Fighting the desire to punch him, to hurt him physically to counteract the way he repeatedly hurt her, she snapped, “So it’s jealousy! Is that IT? Well let me just remind you of a few facts Sol Tanner. YOU wanted me, but then YOU chose your wife. You chose her over me and in doing so broke my heart. Now that I’m finally with someone who treats me well, someone who appreciates me...” she hit her chest with her hand to emphasise that point, “and you...you want to ruin that for me. Is that what you’re saying?”

He shook his head and reached for her hand, she snatched it away quickly but not before she felt a jolt of power, electricity almost burn her skin, “did you bring him to annoy me?”

Amelia saw red, “what I do in my private life is NOTHING to do with you. You have no right to question or comment on me. Clay is a gentleman; he treats me as though I’m the only woman in the world. He puts me first...he’s the only man I know who’s done that.”

When she saw him sniggering she glared at him, “what?”

                “What sort of name is Clay? Does he have a brother called Rock?” though he was trying to make a joke there was more animosity than humour in his voice.

                “Says the man named after the sun? Fuck off! You’re being petty and childish. Clay is the sort of name a real man has, and he IS a real man Sol. Now please!”

Lowering his head, he glanced at the floor for a moment, but when he looked up there was the same regretful and sad expression on his face, “I’m sorry, you’re right, that was pathetic. I love you; you know that, I always have. All I wanted was the chance to say I miss you, that I regret losing you...that I know I made the wrong decision.”

Shaking her head she pushed him out of the way, “this is bloody great! What are you saying? That I can have the honour of being your extramarital affair? Or are you going to leave the woman you left me for...for me? How ironic! This was all YOUR doing! You made all the decisions regardless of how I coped.” Lowering her voice to a hiss, she snarled at him, “I am happy, I don’t care if you are, or if you aren’t. And I won’t let you change that. Now I’ve asked you once, and I’ll ask you for a second and final time. Please...get out of my way.”

It took a lot of force, but she managed to push him away from the door. As she stepped out into the corridor, his voice echoed after her, “I know you feel the same way, I know it!”

The cool air of the hallway calmed her scorching skin. She was furious, but she was also hurt. As always the pain seemed fresh, raw and she knew she was struggling to regain her composure.

Throwing open the door to the reception, Amelia saw Clay loitering near the door, her crocheted silk wrap in his hand. Smiling, trying to keep calm, she wove her way through the crowds to take his arm gratefully. Out in the fresh air, the breeze cool on her face was a luxury.

                “You ok? You look a bit...how would you put it? Frazzled?”

Amelia tried to chuckle in as normal a manner as she could muster, “I’m fine, it was just warm in the bathroom, you know I hate it being too hot indoors.”

Shrugging he laid his hand over hers, tucked under his elbow and laughed, “You are a strange one Parkin, a real strange one! Now where are we meeting you bff?”

An hour later they were waiting in a wine bar near Leicester Square, a bottle of champagne on ice as they drank Margaritas on high bar stools.  

                “Wish you were staying a little longer?” Clay asked disturbing her thoughts, which was a good thing. Since they’d left the launch, she’d not been able to get the last two hours out of her head. Her mind flicked from the image of the wounded, devastated Sol she’d walked out on, to the cocky almost angry face that had initially confronted her in the bathroom. And then there was Clay. Looking up at him she smiled, he was more than she deserved, even as she’d sat there, being the worst form of company imaginable, he was striking up conversation, trying to keep her interested, alert. He was the only one who knew the impact that Sol had had on her in the past, but she’d not mentioned him that evening, yet realistically that was the main reason that he’d agreed to accompany her. She couldn’t discuss it now. She was still so emotionally charged, but turning to him with a smile, she knew she had to forget the conversation with Sol, concentrate on Clay and her future.

                “Of course! Not that I don’t love New York, I just miss Li so much!”

He nodded, “I can see that.”

As she reached out and placed a hand on his thigh, she leaned closer to him and breathed in his ear, “but if I stayed in London, I wouldn’t have you, would I?”

The potential intimacy of the moment was disrupted by Li and Daichi bursting in through the door noisily and in a cloud of what seemed like balloons and glitter!