Never Again - 37

Chapter 37 -  Soul mate

After dumping the car back at his apartment, Jack took Erin by the hand and led her out into London. It was a long time since Jack had just kicked back and enjoyed being himself, and enjoying where he was. When he’d first come to London as a teenager, he’d loved it, and had spent many a day walking through the streets absorbing the hectic life that he observed. But once he’d become richer, more well known, he’d stopped appreciating the little things in life. Now, with Erin beside him, he felt like skipping like a teenager, everything was wonderful, and not even the cold day could upset his happiness.

Erin glanced over at Jack repeatedly, he was grinning, and it made her laugh. Hearing her laugh he looked at her.

                “What?”

She shrugged, “nothing, you look happy!”

He nodded, “I am.  But then how could I not be?”

                “So what have you got planned for this afternoon?” She’d been wondering since he disappeared to make phone calls before leaving Michelle’s home. And the one thing she knew about Jack was that he was no good at keeping things secret. His beaming face was a giveaway that he had something planned.

                “It’s a surprise!” he announced resolutely, “I want to surprise you, so don’t ask again! OK?”

Erin grinned and allowed him to lead her off into the distance.

As they walked along the Embankment, past the London Eye, and then Cleopatra’s Needle, several people stopped him to ask for photos or autographs. Initially he checked with her, and it tugged at her emotions that he would ignore his fans to keep her happy, but she couldn’t let him. So she paused patiently as he made the day of several men and children, loving that side of him as much as every other side.

Checking his watch, he broke into a smile, “right, Erin Bailey, it’s time!”

Taking her hand he dragged her at a jog a little further along the river, and down a ramp to the edge of the water. There a large cruiser was moored, an impeccably dressed captain, complete with peaked hat stood waiting.

                “Afternoon Mr Reilly, we’re all set to cruise...”

Jack smiled at the man then helped Erin on to the deck. She was amazed at the boat. She’d spent many a trip on various luxury yachts in the south of France, she was lucky in that way, but this was a whole different ball game. The whole of the inner level was surrounded by a wall of glass, which was tinted, so whilst you couldn’t see in, the whole of London was like a panoramic poster wrapped around them. There was a single table laid for two in the centre of the huge room, and the furthest wall housed a fully stocked bar, where another liveried man was awaiting their order.

A maitre’d saw them to the table, pulling out the chair for Erin to sit in, then smiled at Jack, who gave a slight nod. The man gestured to the man at the bar, and suddenly the barman appeared with a bottle of exquisite looking red wine, pouring a small amount into Jack’s glass. He savoured a taste, then nodded again, and they both watched the barman fill both glasses then disappeared.

Erin smiled at him as the engines of the boat kicked into action and the boat moved into the flowing waters of the Thames, “so what’s all this then?”

He smiled, “a luxury meal, drinks, dancing...somewhere we won’t be disturbed, and we can be dropped off somewhere quiet so no paps will be trying to photograph us. Just me and you, you and me!” He took her hands, “about time, hey?”

In the whole scheme of things, this constituted the perfect date, and was exactly what the doctor ordered. She felt herself relax, fully, “so what’s for dinner?”

He grinned, “well seeing as I’m thinking I know you quite well, I’ve suggested a menu to the chef here, who has two Michelin stars, I hasten to add!”

And so began the best meal Erin could ever remember eating, firstly confit of duck, a perfect start,  then braised lamb served with perfect vegetables, and a hearty French red, then there was tiramisu for dessert, her absolute favourite.

As the meal progressed, Jack managed to broach the subject that he’d avoided so carefully since finding Erin again.

                “How are you feeling now? About...what happened?”

She sighed, placing her cutlery down and sitting back in her chair, “the baby? Or rather the miscarriage?”

He nodded, glad that she’d said those words. He still couldn't bring himself to say it, which seemed stupid.

                “Well, I saw Dr Carter ten days ago, she’s happy that everything is ok. The ultrasound showed that everything has healed...there’s no reason to think I can’t get pregnant again.”

                “That’s good?” it was a question, Jack was still unsure how she felt about that.

She nodded, “Jack, I know it may not have been all that you wanted, kids, but that was the final straw in my marriage, despite everything else that he did, he refused to consider it. I’m thirty one, I want children, that’s a huge part of what I want to be. It forced me to look at things more closely, and was the start of me realising he wasn't right for me. If you don’t feel the same way...”

                “I do!” He interrupted her, “I’ve just been too nervous of admitting that, despite what you think, I want you more than children, but over the last six months I’ve been thinking about the future...when it wasn’t scaring me, and I see kids as part of that...but not instead of you. If there’s a chance of it happening again, I don’t know that I could see you even take that risk.”

She smiled, “there’s as much chance of it happening to me as anyone else. Dr Carter was confident about that.”

His relief was palpable, and she smiled as he visibly relaxed. “It’s important to you?”

Erin nodded, “as important as it gets.”

He refilled her glass, “then we’ll go for it. As many as you want!”

She grinned, at his dazzling smile, then turned back to the remains of her dessert, but could barely manage the coffee and after dinner mint that completed the feast.

Sitting back she linked her fingers over her stomach that felt distended from the rich food, “that was amazing...the best meal I’ve ever had!” With that she tried to hide a yawn.

He grinned, “Making you satiated and sleepy wasn’t my first intention...”

He’d been so attentive for the duration of the meal, and even now as he watched her intently, his love for her shone form his eyes so obviously, it was like an aphrodisiac to her.

                “It’s perfect, everything is perfect, the food, the location...” she looked to her left to see the O2 arena, lights blazing into the early evening sky. “The boat, the company...” at that she took his hands and he smiled.

                “Perfect was the intention...that’s more like it!”

At that moment some music started, there’d been background music throughout the meal, but now the big band tunes were more obvious.

                “Dance?”

She lifted her eyes to meet his and smiled, “here?”

He nodded and she noticed the tune, ‘It had to be you’, the same tune they’d dance to six months ago in the Manchester hotel, before they’d booked a room and taken their relationship to the next level.

                “You’re very thorough! Aren’t you?”

Jack’s grin could stop traffic, she’d not realised he had a sentimental bone in his body, but here he was creating an evening that catered to her every whim. Sliding into his embrace, she leaned into him, resting her head into the curve of his neck, the smell that was quintessentially him was wafting through her nostrils and making her dizzy, his hands held her tight, scorching her skin through the light fabric of her blouse.

Jack sighed and she could feel every inch of his body against his, and where she was relaxed, almost draped around him, the fact that he was tense, primed, waiting made her smiled into the slightly stubbled skin on the underside of his jaw.

                “Finding something funny?” he asked his lips touching the top of her head.

She didn’t reply, but rubbed her pelvis against his, then giggled at the groan that escaped his lips.

                “You little bitch!” His voice was a hoarse groan.

Lifting his head he gestured to the barman over the top of her, and then lowered his mouth back to her ear, “for that you get part two!”

Her whole body shuddered at the thought of what that could mean, and it was Jack’s turn to laugh, “Ahh, I think we call that touché!” 

They alighted from the boat less than half a mile from his apartment, and taking her hand he led there at a pace almost too rapid for her heeled boots.

                “Impatient?” She asked as they finally stopped at the lift shaft. The antique cage appeared within moments and it wasn’t until they were safely inside that he spoke.

                “Impatient doesn’t come close! I have waited six months for this...for you...I wanted to court you properly...wait...”

Erin laughed as she slid her arms around his neck, pressing her breasts into his hard chest, “there’s be no point in that, it’d just be torture, and I’m no masochist...” the lift stopped and she waited for him to slide open the door before she stepped out and tossed over her shoulder, “and we both know it’s going to be spectacular!”

It was Jack’s turn to gulp, to fight the surges of desire that almost floored him. He’d dreamed of this moment, the time when he could finally get back to basics, strip her, love her, tease her. He wanted to hear her gasps, to see her eyes flare as passion and pleasure overtook her, he wanted to give her all of him. He almost shook himself at the thought, he wouldn’t describe himself as a lazy lover, or even that selfish, but he had never anticipated someone else’s pleasure as much as he did her. This was love!

She entered the apartment and was staring at him frozen at the doorway, his face a mask of emotions. But when he looked up, it was all worthwhile, he looked like he wanted to eat her, it was the most erotic gaze she’d ever witnessed, and she was tempted to strip off and drape herself in front of him, but that was too easy. Shaking herself, she reached out a hand to him and he took it, pulling her into his arms.

As he kicked shut the door, he backed her up to the unforgiving wood, pinning her into a corner where she couldn’t escape. As his lips found hers, that hunger that they’d always shared was lit like a fuse, and within seconds they were ripping at each other’s clothes. All thoughts of tender love, tasting, touching, teasing, went out of the window, this was pure hardcore passion, and neither of them could fight it. 

Lifting his sweater, Erin parted from his lips for the briefest of seconds, then ran her fingers all over his bare, muscular chest. When she moaned in appreciation, he chuckled, “my turn!”

His hands were like wildfire divesting her of her shirt, then bra, his face nuzzled in her cleavage as he reached for the belt of her jeans.

                “Boots!” she murmured, nudging his head away from her. He met her eyes passion causing them to glitter, and then dropped to his knees. From there he could tug off each boot, each sock, and then at eye height her belt and then jeans. His hands on her naked belly caused her to flinch, it was more than electric shocks, it was heat, fire, everything unbearable, yet essential.

Jack’s hands were rough as they slid up her calves, her thighs, and his tongue followed a damp trail over her quivering muscles. Erin’s head was thrown back against the door, but as his fingers reached for the lace of her knickers, her head shot forward to look down at him. Encouraging her to step out of the scrap of material, his fingers continued their exploration of her most sensitive parts.

Erin clamped her thighs together, blocking his access, his response was a chuckle against her tummy. Instead his fingers climbed to her pelvis and gently touched the scar there, the reminder of her recent surgery.

Looking up at her he sighed, “Can we...is it ok?”

He wanted to know if she was physically recovered. That was the easy part, wasn’t it? Holding out a hand to him, she nodded, and he pulled himself up level with her. Then in a grand gesture he swept her up into his arms and carried her to the bedroom. Tossing her onto the duvet, he chuckled as she bounced before arranging herself on the pillows watching as he kicked off his shoes then jeans, and boxers.

Erin gasped as he fully revealed himself, he was more than primed, ready, and completely beautiful, and as he climbed on to the bed, stalking towards her like a lion to prey, she ensnared him with her thighs and rolled him onto his back. Sat astride him, she took the lead, lowering herself onto him, slowly but firmly. Jack’s eyes rolled to the back of his head and he let out a primeval groan.

He tried to tolerate her slow, rhythmical pace, but it was difficult, she tormented him so. Smiling at him squirming, she took his hands and lifted them to her breasts. Even that couldn’t distract him from the need to control this, to drive into her.

“Sorry!” he muttered as he rolled her over, wrapping her legs around his shoulders. Then in an almost animalistic fashion he drove them both over the edge.

Erin clung to him, their bodies slick with sweat, touching from nose to toe. She could barely feel her body, she was definitely numb from the waist down, as she wriggled slightly, trying to wake up her extremities, Jack lifted his head.

                “You trying to kill me?”

She laughed, then pulled him down for an absorbing kiss, “I love you!” She breathed as the kiss finally ended, but by then he was ready for a repeat action.

                “That backfired!” She giggled, but her words were lost against his lips.

How could you feel so wonderful when you’d had so little sleep? Erin didn’t know, but she knew she felt amazing before she’d opened her eyes. She’d catnapped through the night, between the explosive couplings that had been inevitable every time they touched. There was something so amazing about making love with a man that you knew REALLY loved you. It seemed to strip all her insecurities, her inhibitions and any doubt. At some point around midnight she felt that she actually became part of him, and he part of her.

Unable to wipe the grin off her face, she opened her eyes when her hands failed to find Jack in the bed. The room was empty. Groaning, she reluctantly pulled herself into sitting. Then stretched, she ached in ways she hadn’t for ages, and it was delicious. There was no clothing to hand, after all he’d stripped her in the hallway, so she rummaged in a drawer and found a t-shirt, it didn’t hide much, but it was a little more comfortable than walking out into the unknown naked!

Striding out into the lounge, she smiled to see Jack making coffee in just his boxer shorts. Creeping up behind him, she slid her arms around him and hugged him tightly. Turning  in her embrace he smiled for the brief second before his lips found hers. Like with every other time in the last twelve hours, the kiss sparked more passion and desire than either could hide, and so Jack lifted her onto the work surface, her legs around him, and they christened yet another room of the apartment.

A little later Erin had the use of her legs back, and was watching Jack fill two coffee mugs. As he handed her one, she smiled.

                “So why are we up so early?”

He smiled, “three reasons, firstly I’ve just heard that that bastard Max Thomas has been charged, with blackmail and extortion, as well as several counts of fraud. My legal man just called, he’s looking at three to five years!” When she smiled sadly he realised her conflict, at one time she’d loved Max, it was never great to know they were in such dire straits. “He doesn’t deserve your pity, ok?”

She nodded, “what are the other two?”

                “Well, I’ve got to make a TV ad, in Birmingham, so I need to be there by two o’clock.”

Erin groaned, gutted that their little bubble was about to burst, “it’s only a couple of hours away...there’s no rush!”

Pulling her into his arms, he shook his head, “au contraire, we have to go via Gloucestershire.” Jack only grinned when she looked puzzled.

                “Are you leaving me there?” The thought of being dumped unceremoniously back at her parents made her heart sink. She'd imagined going where Jack went from now on.

He shook his head, “quite the opposite. We’re getting all your things, including that overgrown mutt, then you’re coming back to Manchester with me. No arguments!”  She waved her hands in surrender, not willing to admit she liked this possessive and dominant Jack, and that those were the exact words she wanted to hear. He dropped his arms and headed for the bedroom as he muttered, “and I need to ask for your father's permission to marry you!” Under his breath.

Erin froze watching him retreat, her mind whirring. She’d swore she’d never marry again, it went against everything she stood for, but she had to admit after last night she couldn’t imagine being apart from Jack ever again. He was more than just under her skin, he was inside her, around her, above her...everywhere she looked, and she loved it. She loved him.

But marriage? Possession? Ownership? That was what she feared more than anything. Until ninety seconds ago, when Jack had told her NOT asked her that she was going to live in Manchester with him. She’d liked that. She thought of Peter her brother, her parents, Michelle and Dave, Danni and Scott, all people who were happy with their soul mate. And Jack was hers, it was never Max, he was a mistake.

Sliding her mug along the work surface she ran to the bedroom uncaring of how the t-shirt flapped up and revealed far too much of her, then almost skidded to a halt. There on one knee in the middle of the bedroom was Jack, an open box in his hand, holding the most exquisite diamond solitaire.

He was grinning, he knew that she’d needed to come to terms with his more than subtle hint, and he also knew that she’d come to the right conclusion. The fact that he knew her that well, anticipated how she’d react, was all the more ammunition in his bow. They were meant to be together.

                “Will you marry me Erin Bailey?”

Biting her bottom lip she could only nod as he flew towards her in excitement. With a sigh she met his embrace and knew in her heart of hearts that she couldn’t ask for a more perfect man than Jack Reilly.

Never Again - 36

Chapter 36 - "Don't hide from me!"

                “Don’t hide under the blanket!” He announced from the doorway, “A moment ago you had all the answers, now you’re hiding?”

Erin peeled back the duvet and snuck a peak at him; he looked glorious, stood in the doorway, hands on hips, eyes glittering.

                “I refuse to speak to you until you come out from under there! You’d swear I was some ogre or something! Are you scared of me?”

Shaking her head Erin moved to sit up in bed, hardly able to concentrate whilst he stood there half naked and looking perfect. She’d never be scared of him, and she knew he’d never do anything to hurt her, well deliberately anyway. It was herself that she didn’t trust, her own reactions that she was scared of.

Finally facing him she sighed, “I’d never be scared of you!”

The words were met with an exhale of mammoth proportions, and Jack visibly relaxed. “I wanted to make it better for you, you were so sad, so ill...It killed a part of me when you left. I came back to find you...the room was empty...I still don’t know why.”

In an instant they were both dragged back to that horrible time when they'd lost their baby, and so she thought, their future. His sadness shocked Erin, and for the first time she saw that this hadn’t been easy for him either. She’d been so absorbed in how wronged she was, and how hard done by she was. At no point had she figured Jack’s feelings into any equation.

                “I wanted to make things easier for you, believe it or not. I didn’t want to deal with us parting in front of you. It was easier for me when you weren’t there.”

He shook his head as though he could barely believe all that he was hearing, “I don’t understand.”

Erin crossed her legs, looking down at the duvet which she proceeded to weave between her fingers nervously, “you rejected me before Jack, I couldn’t cope with that again, I wanted to be the one to leave, when I wanted.”

                “I’ve never rejected you!” When he spotted her sad smile he instantly remembered the restaurant, the time he’d abandoned her rather than deal with his growing emotions, she’d told him how hurt she’d felt, but he’d not realised that this was the one moment in their shared past that she remembered more than any other. Those evenings watching TV together, laughing at the same jokes, the meals they’d shared, all the positive times, the times that now made him realise that she was everything he wanted, were all overshadowed in her eyes by that ridiculously stupid moment.

She’d run away to stop that happening again, and he felt devastated that he’d not made her realise that he cared for her. Even his mind tripped over the L word.

                “That meal...” When she nodded Jack lowered himself to the bed next to her and sighed.

                “I didn’t want to see that distaste in your eyes again.”

He was incredulous, “Erin, I could never look at you and see anything negative, you are the best thing that ever happened to me!”

She wasn’t convinced, “it took the baby to make you come back to me. Without it...”

He groaned, “Honestly! You told me in no uncertain terms where to go after that night; you told me you hated me. I did what I thought you wanted...”

                “Within days you were in the papers with some gorgeous woman...”

He literally felt as though he’d been slapped, he couldn’t remember that, but then he was so used to being photographed, most of the time strangers wanted him to pose with them, women loved him...but it wasn’t an excuse.

                “I don’t remember that. Well no more than any other photo! I’m a target, there are so many people...women who want to be seen with someone famous...not me, anyone will do.”

Erin dropped her head, she didn’t want to feel sorry for him, but that comment did make her feel sorry for him, was there much genuine in his life?

He saw her hesitation and carried on, “When I first met you, I was in a really bleak place. Moments before I ran over Barney I’d been on the phone to my legal team, a woman I’d dated for a few weeks was trying to sell her story, much in the way your ex-husband did. We’d already had the fake pregnancy, the flooded flat so she had nowhere to stay, anything to try and progress a relationship I had no interest in. I’ve become sceptical over time, I know that. But I also know that I’m not the easiest man to get on with.”

She looked at her hands, not wanting him to see her eyes, to read the self doubt, the fear there, “what about Betsie?”

When there was no response she looked up to see a quizzical look on his face. He was either a great actor, or he really did have new clue what he was on about.

                “The other week, remember we were here and you went out after your game?” He shrugged; it had happened a lot, so she continued. “I was packing our things up and her name and number fell out of your pocket...I wasn’t snooping honest. But her note thanked you for a great night...”

He groaned, “Erin, I’m sorry. There really is nothing in this, I swear to you. I often get things like that shoved in my pocket, that’s part of the life I have, but I’m not some sex addict, I’m not after any woman I can get...in the past I’ve not been as...selective as I could’ve been, but then I was young, free and single. I haven’t been that the last six months, not in my eyes anyway.

                “You were right back in the lounge,” he gestured over his shoulder. If I let you go again I am worse than a fool, but I HAVE been foolish Erin, I know that.” He sighed, she deserved the truth, “I’ve spent my life running away from commitment, I witnessed what I thought was an abusive marriage between my dominating father and devoted mother, and I had no interest in being part of so skewed a partnership. I think I also feared that there was a large part of my father in me, that my anger, my headstrong attitude that has made me the footballer I am might bleed into any family life.”

He looked so sad that Erin immediately felt pain on his behalf again, reaching out she took one of his hands and squeezed it, it caused a smile to appear on his lips.

                “That’s why you don’t see your family! It makes sense now.”

Laughing he turned over the hand that had gripped his and ran his thumb across her palm, hiding the giggle that threatened to spill when he saw her literally quiver, “it would if I knew anything about what was going on! But thanks to you, and you speaking to my mother...” He filled her in briefly on the conversation they’d had, his mother’s illness, his father’s attempts to salvage the family, and the pain his desertion had caused.

Meeting her eyes again he smiled, “so you see, you saved me! In so many ways, you made me connect with her, to find out the truth. And if I didn’t already love you to distraction, then I’d love you for that!” He laughed at her wide eyes, the surprise evident on her face, “my mother pointed out that I was the same emotional cripple that you suggest. Made me look at myself. I admit that my motives up until recently were for the baby, or to manage you in my life. But I know that since the first second you started to shout at me, berating me for hurting Barney, that I’ve needed you in my life, wanted that passion, that anger, that...” he shrugged, “I’m no good with words, but I need YOU in my life Erin, there’s nothing and no one else that I want more. And, if I have to spend the rest of my life proving that, making you realise that I mean every word I say, then I will.”

Erin was grinning, and to Jack there was no greater sight, any fear of revealing his inner emotions to her were quashed instantly as she threw her arms around his neck and pulled him close. Jack reciprocated, dropping his lips to kiss the top of her head as he tried to ignore the sensation of her bare thigh brushing his waist, her pert breasts against his chest, only the thinnest fabric separating their nudity. Now was not the time to let his libido ruin the moment.

When she lifted her face from his neck, to look at him, Erin had her own revelation; he’d revealed all his emotions without her sharing her own, she hadn’t needed to put her heart on the line to get him to admit his feelings, there was no conspiracy or hoodwinking to make his admit his feelings. She thought back to Max, she’d wanted him to love her so badly, but as far as she could remember he’d never once uttered those words, never once given her an insight into how he felt. Yet she’d rushed into marriage like a love sick teenager.

She smiled at Jack, strong, beautiful, fearless Jack Reilly, “I love you. More than I thought possible!”

Jack smiled, “I know you do, but then I’ve not got a lot to live up to, have I?”

Erin was instantly reminded of the pain Max had tried to cause, and how Jack had dealt with it so competently. “I made the wrong choice Jack, I know that now, hell I knew it moments after I’d made it, if I’m honest. But I have to confess too, I compared you to him, feared you doing what he did, I was blinded by your wealth, your popularity, and I judged you on that. Even when your actions told me you were different, I didn’t want to trust you, to believe you...”

He laughed, “And why would you have? I had no idea that I could ever feel like this, and I KNOW I haven’t done enough for you...but I do love fighting with you,” he grinned, “but not as much as I LOVE making up with you.”

And that was something Erin agreed with. Sliding her arms around his neck she smiled seductively at her. But Jack shook his head.

                “For once I’m going to do things right!” He slipped her hands back into his, and held them, “we are going to do this right. I’m taking you out, for dinner, tonight!”

Erin groaned, her body was so in tune to the man sat in front of her that to not touch him, to not devour him after all this time was the worst type of torture.

                “Welcome to my world!” he grinned as he kissed her lips in a fleeting gesture then left the room.

The next morning Erin woke after what she could loosely term sleep, but was little more than a turbulent rest. There was a divine smell, and as she left her bedroom and headed for the lounge, she could hear Jack...singing!

Opening the door she could see across the room in to the kitchen, and stopped to take in the sight! Jack, the kitchen virgin, was stood at the stove cooking something that smelled divine, and dancing at the same time to “Night Fever” by the Bee Gees, that blasted out of his state of the art stereo in ridiculously high quality. His singing was a not as faultless!

                “If I had a video camera I could make my own fortune filming this!”

               

Grinning he danced across the room and wrapped his arms around her, lowering his mouth to her ear, he carried on singing, “Here I am, praying for this moment to last,” then he swung her in an arc, before pulling her back in to his arms. “Living on the music so fine, borne on the wind, making it mine.”

When he finally deposited her on a stool across the breakfast bar from the stove and returned to the breakfast he was creating, she was laughing hysterically.

                “You are crazy!”

He looked over his shoulder with a killer grin, “crazy for you!”

An hour later they drove to Michelle and Dave’s house. Dave was ecstatic to see Jack, and the two men settled into an easy banter as Michelle dumped a sleeping Isobel into Jack’s arms, the brief panic left his face as the baby stretched, raising an arm that rested on his chest. Erin smiled at the look of devotion on his face, and then turned to follow Michelle out to the kitchen.

                “SO?” she asked, reaching for Erin’s hands. “What the HELL has happened here?”

Erin grinned, “He came for me, told me he loves me...”

                “I TOLD you! But you don’t ever believe me!” Pulling out a chair from the kitchen table, Michelle turned for the kettle and growled, “Spill! Now! EVERY detail!”

So Erin did.

As they were leaving later, Michelle pulled Erin to one side and whispered, “I’m now a mother, nappies are as exciting as it gets. I want to hear ALL about the date tomorrow, OK? ALL about it!”

Thank you all!

Sorry at the delay - Christmas has been particularly hectic here!

Thanks all for your comments and reads! Really appreciate you all!

A couple of chapters left I'm sensing, so a new story hopefully by the New Year! Hope you've all had a happy holiday - those that do Christmas, and those that don't hope you're all well!

Will post soon as I'm now in the post celebratory lull, and not working!! :)

Thanks again!

MZ

Never Again - 35

Chapter 35 - catching a rat

                “So how did you know where I was?” Erin asked as Jack negotiated the quiet streets, making for his City apartment.

Jack manoeuvred across a bridge over the Thames then turned left towards the suburb that housed his second home, “I went to your parents, they told me you were here.”

She glanced across, “really?”

He nodded, slowing to pull into the underground car park, “your father admitted he was wrong about me...” Stopping the car he turned to her, “I didn’t want to stay away, you have to know that. Every day I contemplated getting into my car and driving to theirs, then blasting into the house no matter what defence they put up.”

                “Really?” his words were like an aphrodisiac, pleasure coursed through her veins. He’d missed her, that was such a good sign. Then she fully digested his words. “So what changed? Why did you come today of all days?”

Jack sighed, then finished the journey into the garage, he’d hoped to have more positive news before he spoke to her, but neither his agent nor his lawyer had got back to him. “I’ll explain over dinner, let’s order some food before I pass out!”

She opened a bottle of wine as he rooted around in the kitchen drawer for a takeaway menu, and as she poured the fruity Spanish red, he phoned an order. Erin shuddered at the way he automatically knew what to order, they were so in tune with each other, they were so compatible as friends, it was his inability to commit any further than just friends that was the sticking point. As much as Erin loved their friendship, the easiness between them, she knew that it wasn’t enough, that ultimately it...he would break her heart. But she had to tell him that, make him understand, because either way she may lose him, but at least he’d know how she felt, and why she couldn’t settle for anything casual. For her Jack was all or nothing.

She moved into the lounge as Jack hung up, but his phone rang almost immediately, perching against the kitchen counter he took the call as he watched her leave. But within seconds he was tense, he turned away so that she couldn’t see his face but she knew that he was talking animatedly into the phone.

Slumping back into the chair she sighed, there was a huge part of Jack that she knew nothing about, she almost felt that the her Jack was a million miles from the World famous footballer that partied as hard as he played.

Erin sensed him at the door before she saw him, and when she looked up she almost flinched at the pained expression on his face. The phone call hadn’t been good news.

                “Erin...” it was even said in a scary manner and Erin couldn’t voice a reply.  “There’s so much I want to say to you, we really need to talk...but...” God she hated that but! “I got a call this morning about an article that’s looking like being in the papers tomorrow.”

Erin felt sick, heat rose up to engulf her face as she feared the room was starting to spin, anchoring herself firmly to the arms of the chair she shook her head gently, needing clarity, “he did it!”

Jack had prepared himself for all sorts of responses to his news, but the last he expected was complacency and resignation. “You knew?”

She laughed, “What that my moronic ex-husband has been trying to blackmail me? That he’s selling some character assassination to the highest paying tabloid? Yep, I knew he’d threatened it. I wouldn’t pay him, and I doubt there’s a word of truth in it...”

It was so much worse than Jack had anticipated, “he blackmailed you?”

She laughed again, that self degrading sound that he already hated, “he tried, but to be honest...I don’t care, not anymore. What can be worse than the headlines from a month ago?”

They were both silent for a moment as they relived that devastating moment when their dreams of parenthood were so dramatically snatched away.

                “I’m having the copy sent to me, if it’s incorrect - fabricated was the word used, then we can stop it running, with all the stink the media have had the last year or so, the last thing they want is to knowingly print bullshit...” he laughed himself, “apparently.”

That was how they ended up sat at the small dining table with Erin rather reluctantly revealing the inner intricacies of her dreadful marriage to Jack. Every story was relevant, especially in view of Max’s reports of their ‘kinky sex-life’.

She’d laughed at that comment, admitting that it didn’t happen often enough with her to be even close to kinky, then she told him about the women, the gambling, how he’d bled her of everything, even her self-respect and dignity for a while. She knew that the way she talked about something that she’d avoided thinking about so long in such a blaze manner meant that she was over it, over him.

Jack was appalled, how the hell any man got off with treating a woman like that, let alone lying so blatantly about her later on was behind him, Erin had been right earlier, this was a character assassination of the highest degree, and all due to him, or rather the public interest into his life.

                “Erin, I’m so sorry. For it all!”

                “It was hardly your fault!”

Sighing he reached for her hands, “true, but having to relive it all, the fact that you’ve had to tell me these horrible things.”

                “The only thing I feel is anger with myself for trusting him in the first place, and then letting him treat me like that. It’s my fault Reilly!”

He shook his head, “you expect someone who proposes marriage to love you and treat you with respect, you were at worst naive Erin, nothing more.”

She slugged at her wine, “I realised after a night with you that my marriage had been a sham...and that he was shit in bed! Despite all the extracurricular practicing. But I know now that I fell in love with the idea of him, he was successful, popular, and he spoiled me. For a while. Now I know there’s more to love than a man showing off and using you as a trophy.”

Why did Jack get the feeling that she meant a lot of that about him too? Well he was all that Max was, and he had been a serial womaniser. Hell was he scum just like her ex?

                “Anyway, I’ve learned my lesson, never again!!” She offered with a smile.  And as if by magic she was saved from further discussion by the door bell announcing the arrival of their food.

Jack didn’t like where his mind was taking him. He’d disappeared into the bedroom for a moment, needing to take a break. Was he as bad for Erin as her ex? Was he inadvertently causing her pain and suffering on a par with that bastard? He couldn’t say, he liked her, a lot, hell he’d told his mother he loved her. But he still wasn’t really sure what that meant. Was the fact that he wanted to get straight in the car and find that shit and beat him to a pulp any indication?

The wall was a less problematic target, and whilst he wanted to vent his anger on it more than anything, he knew Erin would hear punches of any description.

When he finally re-entered the dining room, she’d stacked the journalist notes neatly to one side and set out plates and chopsticks to attack the food.

                “You ok?” she asked as she helped herself to some noodles.

He nodded, “just still angry at that bastard. Tempted to go around there and punch his lights out!”

It made her laugh out loud and that eased the atmosphere somewhat, “that’s be the worst thing imaginable!”

                “I know!” And he did know that, but he felt so inadequate. Violence would bring gratification, though no real reward. “Let me make some calls, at least we can stop that hitting the news.”

She shrugged, “it’s actually not as bad as reality!”

With that he laughed, “Will I ever understand women?”

Shaking her head, she slid a plate in his direction, “join me?”

After eating Jack took himself off to the study and was engrossed in conversations for a while, so Erin turned on the TV and curled up to watch a movie she found on an obscure channel, and was almost asleep when Jack came back into the room.

                “Have you got any evidence that he was contacting you? Wanting money?”

Erin uncurled slowly, “some texts, a couple of emails.”

He grinned, “Excellent, if it’s damning enough he’ll be arrested and charged.” When he saw her reluctant face, he grinned again, “Come on! Let’s nail this bastard once and for all.”

He took her to a police station and well into the early hours of the morning many people questioned her, took statements, studied her phone, her email. At well after three am the officer who’d instigated the questioning reappeared beaming, Jack - who’d been directed to a waiting room hours earlier, by his side. Jack rushed to her and took a hand, wanting to communicate the worry he’d felt at being apart from her whilst she was being questioned.

Erin looked up at him with a warm smile and squeezed the hand that gripped hers; they shared an intimate moment, an understanding, before the police officer cleared his throat to recapture their attention.

                “The CPS is happy we have enough information to arrest and question him, it’s likely that we’ll be charging him with blackmail amongst other charges very soon.”

They both smiled.

                “Thanks,” Jack shook his hand, then led Erin out to a waiting taxi.

Suddenly she was exhausted, and fell asleep on his shoulder in the back seat. At his home, he directed her to the lift, then through the front door.

                “Hey sleepy, take my bed, ok?”

Jack made the offer genuinely, ignoring the pain tension that rocked his body, he wanted to throw her on the bed himself, but they still hadn’t changed the fundamentals of their relationship, he’d not admitted that she was under his skin, driving him mad.  As he watched her eyes widen in surprise but he looked away, he was still seeing himself in the same role as her ex husband, tormentor and the source of pain in her life. He hated that.

                “I’ll take the spare room,” she snapped at his retreating back, then disappeared inside the room.

Two hours later Erin was punching the pillow, tossing and turning, and dreading seeing daylight chink under the blinds. She’d had a difficult twenty four hours; it was amazing to think that twenty-four hours ago she’d been in her bedroom at home. Since then she’d seen her best friend’s new baby, cooked enough for fifty meals, then confronted the demons of her recent past - Jack, and her distant past - Max. Only she hadn’t, dealt with it, well Jack anyway.

She sat upright in bed, if nothing else Jack reappearing had only confirmed her feelings for him, she loved him more than anything else. She was planning to walk away from him, again, and it would hurt again, and she was about to do it without telling him how she felt.  Ridiculous!

Jumping out of bed, she didn’t care that all she wore was a large t-shirt of Jack’s, or that it was ridiculous o’clock. All that mattered was that in a few hours she’d walk out and leave him, and he didn’t know! That was ridiculous, and she had to rectify it now! Before she lost her nerve.

Opening the door she stalked down the corridor and burst into the main bedroom without knocking the door, then groaned. The bed was empty, not slept in. Her first worry was that he’d run away, deserted her, then she spotted a shaft of light coming from the lounge.

Throwing open that door, she froze.  There was Jack, stretched out on the sofa in just a pair of thin cotton pyjama bottoms, as she drank in the sight of him in just the low lamp light, his eyes flicked open and she jumped a mile.

He gave a lazy, sexy smile, “can’t sleep either?”

Erin swallowed trying to ease her dry mouth, it was futile.

                “I just want to tell you that you are an emotional cripple, and that letting me go again will be the single worst thing you’ll ever do!” With a hmph of satisfaction she turned and rushed back out of the room.  It wasn’t until she got back to the bedroom that she realised exactly what she’d said, so much for explaining how you feel. She was about to turn and go back when she heard him thundering along the corridor towards her.

Suddenly her heart was pounding and she ran to dive beneath the duvet to hide from him, just as the door was thrown open.

Never Again - 34

Chapter 34 - a baby girl

Max had followed up his phone call with several others, each threatening, but it seemed this was a bluff, as he hadn’t so far sold his story. Erin ignored every call, deleting the threatening messages, and pretending none of it was happening, and she could cocooned on the vast space of her family farm. But when a phone call came from Dave, warning her that Michelle had gone into labour a few weeks early, there was no question of her diving into her car and driving to London.

It was a horrible day, lashing rain, dark and gloomy, and Erin was never more appreciative of her new car than in weather like this, driving it made her think of Jack and the day they’d bought it, and then everything that happened in between. It was still like prising open a raw wound, but at least she was remembering the good times they’d shared, the times they’d laughed, and not just the pain of losing their baby.

The weather made the journey long, and she was very relieved to see the Women’s Hospital than that day. There was an underground car park, so she swerved into it then called Dave.

                “It’s a girl!” He squealed, “I was just about to call you Erin, she’s beautiful...”

Erin couldn’t control the grin that swept over her face, “I’m at the hospital, can I visit?”

He laughed, “of course, you know Michelle would rather you had been here not me!”

Erin giggled too, “no she wouldn’t! We may be best buddies, but there are definite boundaries! And that’s one!”

She visited the hospital shop en route to the ward and came out with a huge balloon, a gorgeous pink puppy cuddly toy, and a bag of goodies for Michelle, she may be approaching bankruptcy, but Michelle and her beautiful baby deserved it all.

Michelle was half asleep, a smile permanently on her face, Dave in the seat beside her, a tiny bundle wrapped in his arms. He looked up when he felt Erin’s presence at the door and found her smiling at the scene.

                “I am so pleased for you both!”

Michelle’s eyes popped open and the two women rushed into an embrace. Despite the offer, she declined a cuddle, Dave wasn’t ready to give her up, she could tell.

                “We’ve called her Isobel,” Michelle smiled, “Isobel Erin Blackheath, how does that sound?”

Erin felt her jaw drop open, words couldn’t describe that sort of a gift, instead a hug replaced the words.

Despite all his plans, Jack had no idea how to find and approach Erin, he was committed to his training, there was nothing he could do immediately. As he finished training two days after his mother had arrived, he was just getting in his car to drive home when his phone rang, Mike his agent beckoned a hello loaded with foreboding.

                “What is it Mike?” He leaned against the car, his phone at his ear.

Mike sighed, “had a tip off from a red top tabloid this morning, your young lady...”

                “Erin?” Suddenly Jack felt fear, real fear. “What about her?”

The other man sighed, “she’s got an ex?” When Jack gave a worried grunt, he continued, “he’s bleating, selling his soul...or rather hers for the highest price. I’ve emailed the copy to you.”

Jack fought his nausea, this was exactly what Erin had feared, that her life would become public domain, and it seemed she was right. “Can we stop it? Get an injunction?”

Mike was non-committal, “not sure, but I’d forewarn her if I were you. I’ll do my best. I’ve contacted your lawyer; he’s on the blower to the editors as we speak.”

Jack knew he had to go find her at all costs, “I’m heading to Gloucestershire, keep me posted?”

The other man agreed.

Getting into his car he hooked up his hands free phone kit and started calling around, by the time he hit the motorway heading south he’d spoken to his lawyer who was in the process of trying to block the story. Now he had to warn Erin, as much as he wanted to see her, to tell her how he felt about her, this wasn’t about him; this was about her past becoming public knowledge, and possibly an embellished version at that. All he wanted was to see her, to make sure she didn’t find out by walking down the street, and to explain that it wasn’t his fault. He knew she’d blame him, and indirectly it was his link to him that made this a desirable story.

It took a few hours to get to her parents farm house, the traffic had been heavy and the gloomy early winter night was miserable, but finally he spotted the lights in the distance at the end of the rough track. Fortunately his four wheel drive made light work of the road, and soon he was skidding to a stop outside the house.

A light came on and the front door opened at the sound of the car, as he climbed out of the vehicle he looked up to see Sara, Erin’s mother, stood there an awkward expression of her face.

                “Sara, I know Danny told me to keep away, give Erin a wide berth, but I really need to speak to her.”

                “She’s not here Jack, she’s in London.”

He groaned, raking a hand over his face, “do you know where?”

                “What’s wrong? Has something happened?”

Jack had no choice but to share this with her family. “Sorry, it’s just that her ex-husband...”

                “What’s the bastard done to her now?” The deep voice of Danny Bailey boomed over his wife’s shoulder.

There was some relief in the fact that her parents had no love for the ex, but he knew that this was still a difficult situation.

                “Sold his story, or rather her story...” as Danny made to shout he added quickly, “look I know that this is all due to me, and I know she deserves better, but I have to warn her, prepare her. My legal team are trying to block it...”

Danny placed a hand on his arm, “you misunderstand me, Max was a complete bastard, but it took us all a long time to realise that...he damaged her badly, emotionally. The fact that he’d do this is no surprise. I don’t think I’d be happy seeing anyone with her again, after all he did, but I do admit that I was wrong about you.”

Jack was floored, words didn’t appear and so he merely gawped at the older man. Danny sighed, “I thought you were self obsessed like that bastard, the way you’ve dealt with everything...I was wrong ok?”

Jack nodded, “do you know where she is?”

It was Sara’s turn to speak, “Michelle had her baby, so she is either at the hospital, or probably staying at their house.”

He nodded, “I’ve got to go...” With that he shook Danny’s hand, “I love her Mr Bailey, more than she knows.”

Danny smiled, “I know you do son, and she loves you, she’s just scared.”

Jack climbed back into the car and shook his head; this was turning out to be a very strange day!

After her visit Erin had spent the day shopping. A little girl could never have too many things, Michelle was staying in hospital for one night but was coming home the following day, so she planned to fill her freezer with food, tidy the house top to bottom, then disappear so that the new family had time to themselves to settle in.  Erin loved having purpose, she’d been in limbo for the last month, even before that when she’d been unable to work, she’d been at such a loose end, now she had drive. And it felt great. Life would go on, and she’d deal with it all again, she knew that.

As she walked up the road to the small terraced house her phone rang, with a groan she recognised Max’s number.

                “Max! I am NOT giving you any money; I don’t care what you do!” She didn’t even wait to hear his voice. And she realised she didn’t care, really. He was desperate and was willing to highlight the sham of their marriage? Then it said more about him than it did about her. And she would carry her threat to sue him for libel if he lied about her.

                “You don’t know what’s good for you!” He spat, “it’s too late anyway!”

A cold shiver ran through her at the thought of what this could all mean, but she couldn’t let him bring her down, she knew now that she never loved him, not the way she loved Jack, so he couldn’t hurt her, she had to keep telling herself that.

                “So let me get this right, a specialist orthopaedic surgeon is appearing in a tabloid newspaper talking about his failed marriage? That’ll so your professional reputation the world of good!”

He grunted a response, and to Erin it sounded like he was fighting with himself, finally he muttered something about not working then he hung up. She glanced at the phone in her hand, he’d run away backed down, Wow! That felt good!

As she picked up her bags to finish the walk to Michelle’s house, she froze. There stood in her path was the man she’d longed to see for the last few weeks. Jack Reilly stood in her path. And he looked dreadful.

                                                                                                                                                                       

This was the sight she’d longed for, and she took a moment to savour him, there’d be arguments and battles ahead, but for the last month all she’d really wanted was to see the man she’d missed so much. His eyes were dark, his expression moody, but she didn’t care.

Striding up to him she stopped right in front of him and looked into his eyes questioningly.

Jack was experiencing a similar sensation as he watched surprise turn to wonder, and then a hint of anger as she stormed up to him. She looked amazing all fiery eyed and sassy, and it took him a moment to appreciate her unwritten question. He needed to tell her about her ex, needed to ask her why she’d left, but now at the exact moment he had the opportunity all he wanted to do was kiss her.

Lifting his hand, he cupped her cheek, his long fingers sliding under her winter hat to her sensitive scalp, and at the second she gasped from the contact, he sealed his lips to her. Jack threw everything into that moment, his concern, his pain, his anger, and mostly his desire. He couldn’t hide how he felt from her, and for the first time in his life, he didn’t want to.

Erin groaned against his lips, the kiss was off the scale, his tongue was teasing her, his lips cajoling, and she was powerless to fight her arms sliding around his neck, draping her body around him, clinging to him.

It was Jack that finally ended the kiss, resting his forehead on hers he took a few steadying breaths before he managed, “I’ve missed you Erin.”

She half smiled, “I’m sure you’re too busy to miss little ole me!”

As he made to protest to the contrary, she suddenly gasped, her hand covering her mouth. “I’m supposed to be cleaning up for Michelle...” Looking up at him she smiled, “she had the baby a couple of weeks earlier than she expected, so she’s nowhere near ready. I’ve been cleaning, tidying and trying to fill her fridge with yummy things!”

He looked at the excitement for her friend reflected in her eyes and couldn’t help but be proud of Erin; within weeks of losing her own baby she put her own tragedy aside to support her friend. She was amazing, he just wished it hadn’t taken him this long to realise.

                “Well I can help you. Let me take those bags, tell me what you want me to do.”

And that’s exactly what they did, as she cooked shepherd’s pie, curry and lasagne ready to freeze, they rushed around the house giving it a good spring clean. As they moved the sofas so that Jack could vacuum behind them, Erin smiled at him.

                “Who’d have thought you’d be so good a cleaner Reilly?”

Jack was torn between feeling a little indignant at her put down, and chuffed to bits at the use of her nickname for her, it was a sign of affection, and he couldn’t hide the grin that thought conjured.

By nine pm they were sorted, Erin was happy that the place was good enough for baby Isobel. So she turned to Jack who looked shattered, “want some food? My treat?”

He laughed, “you are NOT buying me dinner!” Then his face fell, “we need to talk Erin, that’s why I’m here, will you come back to mine, I’ll order us a take away?”

Reality, back to Earth with a bump. But he was right, there was so much to say, she was wrong to run away as she had, she knew that now. She didn’t want to burst the bubble, because since he’d arrived they’d worked well as the team she knew they could be.

Nodding, she grabbed her coat and followed him out to his car.