Never Again - 35

Chapter 35 - catching a rat

                “So how did you know where I was?” Erin asked as Jack negotiated the quiet streets, making for his City apartment.

Jack manoeuvred across a bridge over the Thames then turned left towards the suburb that housed his second home, “I went to your parents, they told me you were here.”

She glanced across, “really?”

He nodded, slowing to pull into the underground car park, “your father admitted he was wrong about me...” Stopping the car he turned to her, “I didn’t want to stay away, you have to know that. Every day I contemplated getting into my car and driving to theirs, then blasting into the house no matter what defence they put up.”

                “Really?” his words were like an aphrodisiac, pleasure coursed through her veins. He’d missed her, that was such a good sign. Then she fully digested his words. “So what changed? Why did you come today of all days?”

Jack sighed, then finished the journey into the garage, he’d hoped to have more positive news before he spoke to her, but neither his agent nor his lawyer had got back to him. “I’ll explain over dinner, let’s order some food before I pass out!”

She opened a bottle of wine as he rooted around in the kitchen drawer for a takeaway menu, and as she poured the fruity Spanish red, he phoned an order. Erin shuddered at the way he automatically knew what to order, they were so in tune with each other, they were so compatible as friends, it was his inability to commit any further than just friends that was the sticking point. As much as Erin loved their friendship, the easiness between them, she knew that it wasn’t enough, that ultimately it...he would break her heart. But she had to tell him that, make him understand, because either way she may lose him, but at least he’d know how she felt, and why she couldn’t settle for anything casual. For her Jack was all or nothing.

She moved into the lounge as Jack hung up, but his phone rang almost immediately, perching against the kitchen counter he took the call as he watched her leave. But within seconds he was tense, he turned away so that she couldn’t see his face but she knew that he was talking animatedly into the phone.

Slumping back into the chair she sighed, there was a huge part of Jack that she knew nothing about, she almost felt that the her Jack was a million miles from the World famous footballer that partied as hard as he played.

Erin sensed him at the door before she saw him, and when she looked up she almost flinched at the pained expression on his face. The phone call hadn’t been good news.

                “Erin...” it was even said in a scary manner and Erin couldn’t voice a reply.  “There’s so much I want to say to you, we really need to talk...but...” God she hated that but! “I got a call this morning about an article that’s looking like being in the papers tomorrow.”

Erin felt sick, heat rose up to engulf her face as she feared the room was starting to spin, anchoring herself firmly to the arms of the chair she shook her head gently, needing clarity, “he did it!”

Jack had prepared himself for all sorts of responses to his news, but the last he expected was complacency and resignation. “You knew?”

She laughed, “What that my moronic ex-husband has been trying to blackmail me? That he’s selling some character assassination to the highest paying tabloid? Yep, I knew he’d threatened it. I wouldn’t pay him, and I doubt there’s a word of truth in it...”

It was so much worse than Jack had anticipated, “he blackmailed you?”

She laughed again, that self degrading sound that he already hated, “he tried, but to be honest...I don’t care, not anymore. What can be worse than the headlines from a month ago?”

They were both silent for a moment as they relived that devastating moment when their dreams of parenthood were so dramatically snatched away.

                “I’m having the copy sent to me, if it’s incorrect - fabricated was the word used, then we can stop it running, with all the stink the media have had the last year or so, the last thing they want is to knowingly print bullshit...” he laughed himself, “apparently.”

That was how they ended up sat at the small dining table with Erin rather reluctantly revealing the inner intricacies of her dreadful marriage to Jack. Every story was relevant, especially in view of Max’s reports of their ‘kinky sex-life’.

She’d laughed at that comment, admitting that it didn’t happen often enough with her to be even close to kinky, then she told him about the women, the gambling, how he’d bled her of everything, even her self-respect and dignity for a while. She knew that the way she talked about something that she’d avoided thinking about so long in such a blaze manner meant that she was over it, over him.

Jack was appalled, how the hell any man got off with treating a woman like that, let alone lying so blatantly about her later on was behind him, Erin had been right earlier, this was a character assassination of the highest degree, and all due to him, or rather the public interest into his life.

                “Erin, I’m so sorry. For it all!”

                “It was hardly your fault!”

Sighing he reached for her hands, “true, but having to relive it all, the fact that you’ve had to tell me these horrible things.”

                “The only thing I feel is anger with myself for trusting him in the first place, and then letting him treat me like that. It’s my fault Reilly!”

He shook his head, “you expect someone who proposes marriage to love you and treat you with respect, you were at worst naive Erin, nothing more.”

She slugged at her wine, “I realised after a night with you that my marriage had been a sham...and that he was shit in bed! Despite all the extracurricular practicing. But I know now that I fell in love with the idea of him, he was successful, popular, and he spoiled me. For a while. Now I know there’s more to love than a man showing off and using you as a trophy.”

Why did Jack get the feeling that she meant a lot of that about him too? Well he was all that Max was, and he had been a serial womaniser. Hell was he scum just like her ex?

                “Anyway, I’ve learned my lesson, never again!!” She offered with a smile.  And as if by magic she was saved from further discussion by the door bell announcing the arrival of their food.

Jack didn’t like where his mind was taking him. He’d disappeared into the bedroom for a moment, needing to take a break. Was he as bad for Erin as her ex? Was he inadvertently causing her pain and suffering on a par with that bastard? He couldn’t say, he liked her, a lot, hell he’d told his mother he loved her. But he still wasn’t really sure what that meant. Was the fact that he wanted to get straight in the car and find that shit and beat him to a pulp any indication?

The wall was a less problematic target, and whilst he wanted to vent his anger on it more than anything, he knew Erin would hear punches of any description.

When he finally re-entered the dining room, she’d stacked the journalist notes neatly to one side and set out plates and chopsticks to attack the food.

                “You ok?” she asked as she helped herself to some noodles.

He nodded, “just still angry at that bastard. Tempted to go around there and punch his lights out!”

It made her laugh out loud and that eased the atmosphere somewhat, “that’s be the worst thing imaginable!”

                “I know!” And he did know that, but he felt so inadequate. Violence would bring gratification, though no real reward. “Let me make some calls, at least we can stop that hitting the news.”

She shrugged, “it’s actually not as bad as reality!”

With that he laughed, “Will I ever understand women?”

Shaking her head, she slid a plate in his direction, “join me?”

After eating Jack took himself off to the study and was engrossed in conversations for a while, so Erin turned on the TV and curled up to watch a movie she found on an obscure channel, and was almost asleep when Jack came back into the room.

                “Have you got any evidence that he was contacting you? Wanting money?”

Erin uncurled slowly, “some texts, a couple of emails.”

He grinned, “Excellent, if it’s damning enough he’ll be arrested and charged.” When he saw her reluctant face, he grinned again, “Come on! Let’s nail this bastard once and for all.”

He took her to a police station and well into the early hours of the morning many people questioned her, took statements, studied her phone, her email. At well after three am the officer who’d instigated the questioning reappeared beaming, Jack - who’d been directed to a waiting room hours earlier, by his side. Jack rushed to her and took a hand, wanting to communicate the worry he’d felt at being apart from her whilst she was being questioned.

Erin looked up at him with a warm smile and squeezed the hand that gripped hers; they shared an intimate moment, an understanding, before the police officer cleared his throat to recapture their attention.

                “The CPS is happy we have enough information to arrest and question him, it’s likely that we’ll be charging him with blackmail amongst other charges very soon.”

They both smiled.

                “Thanks,” Jack shook his hand, then led Erin out to a waiting taxi.

Suddenly she was exhausted, and fell asleep on his shoulder in the back seat. At his home, he directed her to the lift, then through the front door.

                “Hey sleepy, take my bed, ok?”

Jack made the offer genuinely, ignoring the pain tension that rocked his body, he wanted to throw her on the bed himself, but they still hadn’t changed the fundamentals of their relationship, he’d not admitted that she was under his skin, driving him mad.  As he watched her eyes widen in surprise but he looked away, he was still seeing himself in the same role as her ex husband, tormentor and the source of pain in her life. He hated that.

                “I’ll take the spare room,” she snapped at his retreating back, then disappeared inside the room.

Two hours later Erin was punching the pillow, tossing and turning, and dreading seeing daylight chink under the blinds. She’d had a difficult twenty four hours; it was amazing to think that twenty-four hours ago she’d been in her bedroom at home. Since then she’d seen her best friend’s new baby, cooked enough for fifty meals, then confronted the demons of her recent past - Jack, and her distant past - Max. Only she hadn’t, dealt with it, well Jack anyway.

She sat upright in bed, if nothing else Jack reappearing had only confirmed her feelings for him, she loved him more than anything else. She was planning to walk away from him, again, and it would hurt again, and she was about to do it without telling him how she felt.  Ridiculous!

Jumping out of bed, she didn’t care that all she wore was a large t-shirt of Jack’s, or that it was ridiculous o’clock. All that mattered was that in a few hours she’d walk out and leave him, and he didn’t know! That was ridiculous, and she had to rectify it now! Before she lost her nerve.

Opening the door she stalked down the corridor and burst into the main bedroom without knocking the door, then groaned. The bed was empty, not slept in. Her first worry was that he’d run away, deserted her, then she spotted a shaft of light coming from the lounge.

Throwing open that door, she froze.  There was Jack, stretched out on the sofa in just a pair of thin cotton pyjama bottoms, as she drank in the sight of him in just the low lamp light, his eyes flicked open and she jumped a mile.

He gave a lazy, sexy smile, “can’t sleep either?”

Erin swallowed trying to ease her dry mouth, it was futile.

                “I just want to tell you that you are an emotional cripple, and that letting me go again will be the single worst thing you’ll ever do!” With a hmph of satisfaction she turned and rushed back out of the room.  It wasn’t until she got back to the bedroom that she realised exactly what she’d said, so much for explaining how you feel. She was about to turn and go back when she heard him thundering along the corridor towards her.

Suddenly her heart was pounding and she ran to dive beneath the duvet to hide from him, just as the door was thrown open.