He'll Come Through - Chapter 14 - The cat is let out of the bag!

14 - The cat is let out of the bag!

Quinn, standing in her home town? What did that mean? And what did he want? Lilah took a deep breath as she walked towards him, ignoring the racing of her heart, the pain even looking at him caused.

Stopping just in front of him she nodded, “Quinn!”

                “Is that all the welcome I get? I didn’t expect music and a trumpet fanfare, but I thought I might have had a hug.” He held her arms out in a tempting gesture.

Everything in her said don’t do it, don’t let him touch you. But seeing his open arms she heard herself almost mew like a kitten falling into his embrace. His arms were strong, warm, the smell that was Quinn filling her nostrils. His hard body was powerful against her and he supported her completely and she almost swooned, it was the first time she’d let her defences down in the last year, she had that feeling of security whenever he was around. Then she heard a little sound to her right and pushed herself free of him and squatted down to Maria’s level.

                “Maria, this is a friend of mine Quinn, Quinn this is Maria.” He shook her hand and Maria smiled shyly up at him.

When she stood up Quinn had a strange look on his face, “is she....?”

Lilah sighed, taking Maria’s hand, “I used to look after Maria, and now that she lives in London we spend weekends together.” She said as much as she could without stating that she was her charge since Gavin died. Maria didn’t need to hear those words, it was still a raw subject, and Lilah only brought up the issue when she had the time to discuss it at length. She was learning this parenting lark as she went along, but it was a steep learning curve!

Quinn raised his eyebrows and nodded.

                “What are you doing here?” Lilah asked him as they started to walk across the platform. It was a short walk to the village, and it seemed surreal trying to make small talk with the man she loved in an unrequited manner. She shook her head; she was starting to sound like Jane Austin.

                “I would’ve thought that was obvious. We’re friends aren’t we? I’m back in Britain; I’ve been away so long...but the first thing I wanted to do was catch up with you.”

She bit back the emotion, the harsh words that threatened to burst out of her mouth, accusations, anger and pain had no place here, not now in front of Maria, it was the last thing she needed to become embroiled in.

                “This is out of the blue Quinn, I’m busy, I’ve got so much to do, today, tomorrow...”

He nodded, “I only wanted to speak to you. I’ve booked into the only bed and breakfast in town apparently. Castle View?” When she nodded, he continued, “I was just hoping to get the chance to chat, spend a little time together.”

So that was all it was, a little catch up, for a moment she’d believed that it was more...that he’d really wanted to see her.  But nope, he happened to be here and this was a convenience for all concerned. Great. She felt sick. This was likely to be a turning point in her life. How the next few days passed would probably define the rest of her life, and she could do nothing about that. There was so much she wanted to say, so much she HAD to say, but she was tongue tied, and wasn’t overly sure she wanted to hear the answers.

                “I need to get Maria to the village...and then I have to go home.” She knew she sounded standoffish, but that is exactly what she felt she had to be.

                “Are you brushing me off?”

                “I’m saying I’ve had a long day, I’ve got lots to do, and I’m shattered. If you really want to talk can we meet tomorrow? Coffee? Breakfast?”

He questioned her with his eyes but she looked at Maria then back at him mouthing the words “not in front of her!”

They walked towards the village in silence and when they reached the bed and breakfast, she pointed it out.

                “There’s a coffee shop up on the cliff top, I can meet you there around half nine?”

He nodded, crossing his arms over his chest....his broad chest; her eyes drank him in, “if that’s all I get, Blondie.”

Lilah tried to smile but that last word had been her undoing. Hanging her head she led Maria further into the village the young girl chattering wildly now that the stranger had gone. On the horizon she saw her father with Hotdog, a small but stocky black pony, harnessed to the small trap he toured the countryside in. The whole village came out for this festival and the pub on the green was overflowing with residents enjoying the summer evening. Marquees and various tents were also constructed around the green, selling cakes, biscuits and local homemade wines. Tomorrow was the huge cricket match. Locals stepped up to take on the local team, and it was more than a game, it gave bragging rights for the rest of the year, and was followed by a parade, and then a party. The excitement was palpable, and on seeing her father Maria dropped her bags and sprinted into his arms.

                “I’ll bring her back later!” he shouted as he hoisted her onto the wagon and jumped up beside her.

Waving Lilah turned and made her way down the lane that led to her small house, a stone’s throw from her parents’ cottage.

Her mother was in her kitchen baking, she’d offered to supply cakes for tea at the cricket the following day, and the Aga in her family home was difficult to bake delicate cakes in, so she was glad of the chance to use Lilah’s electric version. Large sponges in various stages of completion adorned the table and after a quick hug she donned an apron and helped decorate the cakes, lifting them into boxes and stacking them on the table.

                “So,” her mother washed her hands admiring the stash of cakes. “So what’s happened? Why are you so quiet? Bad time at the editor’s?”

Lilah wiped her hands and pulled the apron off, “something like that! I’m...Oh I don’t know, can we catch up tomorrow for a chat? I’m so tired. Thanks for being here today, I don’t know what I’d do without you.”

Her mother pulled her into an embrace and smiled, “it’s a pleasure, we’ll make time tomorrow, ok? I did think this might all be too much for you. Have a good sleep; Maria can sleep at ours if you like?”

                “I’ll be fine. I don’t mind about that either way, if she wants to sleep at yours then that’s fine, otherwise I’m here for Dad to drop her back.” Her mother looked at her with concern for another moment, then nodded, leaving her alone.

Finally alone she slumped against the closed door. This had been the biggest shock ever, him arriving in her little world and invading her comfort zone. She’d spent months and months analysing and dissecting all that happened when she was in his presence, she’d fought emotions at every turn, ranging from hatred, love, desire, resentment often within the same thought. She was so confused, and now to see him, here, in her life....it was all a little too much.

Climbing the stairs she entered the smallest of the three tiny bedrooms, painted blue with gingham check curtains and small blue boats dotted around the wall. Looking down into the whitewashed cot, she looked at the cherubic face of her son....their son. The long lasting legacy of her ordeal. Someone she loved more than life itself, and someone his father knew nothing about.

Leaning over the sleeping child, she stroked his cheek and he stirred slightly, a chubby fist lifting to rub at his eyes. Her darling little boy four month old boy Freddy, with Quinn’s big brown eyes and his dimple in his chin, he was her little wonder.  She’d been petrified when she found out she was pregnant. The sickness, fatigue went hand in hand with the depression she struggled to fight on her return home. So she was well into the pregnancy before she realised the real reason for her lethargy and malaise. She knew it was Quinn’s there was no question of it being Gavin’s he’d been away for a couple of weeks before the trouble had seen her ousted from his home. She wondered if she’d keep the baby if there was a chance that it was Gavin’s, but now that she had Maria in her life, she knew she would have wanted the baby regardless.

Freddy was a sweetheart, he was good, slept well, fed well, laughed and smiled all day. Her parents and Maria were all besotted with him, and she felt the same way herself.

                “Hey little man,” despite her words he didn’t stir. “What a day! I missed you little man, but I’ve brought Maria back, so you’ll be spoiled all day tomorrow. But you’ll never guess what else happened. We’ve got quite a weekend ahead of us little man; can you believe your Daddy has turned up? Out of the blue. I don’t know what to say, do I tell him about you? Let him see those adorable little eyes?” She puffed, her breath blowing the hair out of her eyes, “I just don’t know darling, I just don’t know what to do!”

                “How about telling the fucking truth for the first time in your life?” The harsh words were spat from behind her, she almost leapt out of her skin, and spinning around she came face to face with the man in question, and he wasn’t happy.