He'll Come Through - Chapter 21 - I want you to want ME!

21 - I want you to want me!

It was darker than she imagined as Lilah cut down the side of the pub to the secluded rear beer garden. She wasn’t scared, she was exhilarated, this was the most reckless, the most exciting thing she’d ever done, all that despite being kidnapped, or even on the run in the desert...how ironic. Though irony was her furthest thought as she slipped along the uneven path, the light white dress flapping behind her as she ran.

By the time she reached the secluded rendezvous spot her heart was pounding and she was breathless, due to running she tried in vain to convince herself. Slowing and taking a moment to adjust her wig, tug her dress back into place, she turned to wait for Quinn. But before she’d turned halfway, two arms wrapped around her, a hard body pressed against the length of hers from behind and warm lips found the soft and very sensitive skin just behind one of her ears.

                “Have I ever told you how unbelievably sexy you are?” he eventually managed, Quinn’s lips still touching her skin. “Even without the sexy Cleopatra thing!”

She swayed against him unable to control the level of tension coursing through her body, struggling to verbalise a response, “the lengths I’ll go to not to be called Blondie, hey?”

The chuckle against her neck was like a priceless aphrodisiac, and she could feel via the closeness of their bodies that he was feeling exactly the same level of longing, “you’ll always be Blondie to me.” His right hand massaged a circular pattern over her lower abdomen as he spoke. “I’ll always remember you as you were that night in the cave, curled up against me....”

She quivered with desire every inch of her body aware of every inch of his, remembering the intimacy that made such a scary moment so bearable was almost more seductive than the embrace she was wrapped in.

                “Quinn...” her voice was a rasp, “just a kiss...”

Lilah could tell he was smiling as he said, “oh it’ll be just a kiss, I just didn’t say where I’d kiss....or how long it’d last!”

That was her undoing, turning rapidly she slid her arms around him, under the toga and over the firm muscular contours of his back. She could barely make out his eyes in the poor lighting, but she could smell him, and it was a divine sensation.

Quinn knew he needed to give her a minute, her control, her role in this was important to her, but once her lips found his, her small hand cupped his cheek; his own precarious control was lost. He dragged her to him, his tongue thrusting into her mouth forcefully, but not one to be out done, hers battled with his, duelling for the much sought after control.

Her lips, her cheeks, her chin were sore from the assault of his stubble, but she knew she was clinging to him as firmly as he was dragging her against him. She’d never felt so overawed, so out of control, never wanted to be draped over a picnic table and be explored, made love to, as much as she did now.

She tried to drag her lips from him, to take stock, slow things down, but his insistent, sexy lips followed her every move, not letting her break away. God she’d missed this, missed him so much. All those emotions locked and never dealt with came rushing back and she felt tears of anticipation, frustration, flow down her cheeks.

It was the sensation of those tears landing on his hand that finally made him pull back.

                “Are you ok?” he kissed each eye, clearing the salty tears with his lips before studying her face in the dark. “You’re crying?”

She shrugged, “kissing you just brought back a lot of memories.”

Suddenly Quinn felt awful, “I’m sorry, I know it was a hard time for you. I...I...” he floundered, and that was when she kissed him again, because her lips were about to blurt out the truth, that it wasn’t the memories of the kidnap, the escape that she was reliving, but the pain and hurt she felt at him rejecting her, and her unrequited love that had burned away since she’d left him that day in the cafe.

Before they pulled apart and put physical distance between themselves, his hands had slid up her thighs, taking her dress with them, to cup her buttocks, hers were familiarising themselves with his shoulders, chest, spine. Quinn held her at arm’s length staring into her eyes; despite the darkness he could see the heat and the passion there.

                “I have no intention of this going any further here, outside...you deserve so much more.” He leaned in for another kiss, more chaste this time.

She dragged hair from her eyes and tried to make her appearance a little more presentable, “you’re right! I must be coming across as a right hussy....again.” She turned trying to hide the feelings of rejection that once again seemed to raise their head.  

Lilah tired to walk away, get space between them, but Quinn reached for her, “Lilah!” His voice was a hiss, “I’ve never thought of you as anything but divine, and perfect. I’m sorry that I’ve hurt you SO many times, but I really want you more than I’ve wanted anything in my life.”

She half smiled, glad for the darkness as she stared up into his beautiful face, “not as much as the enigmatic and legendary Johnny....evidently.” With that she disappeared around the building, before racing back to the marquee. She stopped briefly to collect her thoughts then re-entered the canopy to say her goodbyes, she wanted to get home and lock her heart away in the protection of her home. She was mortified at the way she’d responded to him, she was supposed to be in control, but she would have done anything he’d asked of her back then and it scared her. She’d never been in a position where she didn’t seem to have control of her mind, her body, and she had to escape that.

Her father had bought her a drink and his face lit up when he saw her, “I worried you’d left! What with your mother and Maria going I was starting to feel really abandoned!”

Lilah took the drink nervously, “I was just having some fresh air, then I nipped to the bathroom.”

                “Dance?” he asked as ‘Lola’ by the Kinks came on, her father loved the sixties, but hated ballads, so this was perfect for him. Taking his hand she let him lead her to the floor, and then danced naturally with him, he’d always danced with her at parties, and they were pretty much in tune. How could you remain angry when you were dancing with a Danny Zuko? Smiling she realised she was calmer now, and she rued her earlier impulsiveness. But at least she’d challenged Quinn, dropped the white elephant of his past back between them. If he came to her now wanting more, she knew that it was at least nearer her terms.

                “Mind if I cut in Tony?”

Lilah groaned as she recognised Quinn’s sultry voice disturbing her calm. Her father both the gentleman and the optimist nodded beaming at the younger man, “of course Quinn.” Leaving her to him, her father smiled before heading back to his friends.

As she stared at Quinn, he exhaled, “I wish you wouldn’t keep running away from me.” As Lola became ‘Without you’ the best version by Harry Nilsson, Lilah had no option but to be pulled into his arms. She rested her head against his chest, rathering the effects of that position to having to meet his eyes, see questions, and maybe even worse, answers there.

They moved in unison for a while neither speaking, but then Quinn dropped his lips to the top of her head and started to sing a slightly varied version, “No, I can't forget that evening...Or your face as you were leaving...But I guess that's just the way the story goes...You always smile but in your eyes your sorrow shows.”

It was her undoing, she’d been through so many things, so many emotions, and she’d kept going all that time, on her own. Now that he was here voicing her own thoughts back at her, “I can’t do this...”

He smiled, “we need to talk, let’s get out of here.”

Nodding she let him lead her out of the marquee and down the lane to her small house. 

Stumbling along beside his fast pace walk, Lilah gripped his hand for dear life. There was no conversation and Quinn was stern faced as he marched them to the house.

Her mother was making a cup of tea in the kitchen and looked up in surprise, “you’re early...” she paused when she saw the serious expressions on both their faces and started to gather her things. “Ah, Freddy’s asleep in bed, and Maria fell asleep about half an hour ago.” She kissed her daughters cheek, “I’ll call you in the morning.” Then looking up at Quinn she narrowed her eyes, a non verbal ‘don’t hurt my daughter’ flashed between them, and he nodded knowingly.

                “Tea?” Lilah asked once her mother had closed the door. He nodded a reply and she took over the almost boiled kettle. When they had a full mug each they moved into the small lounge. Quinn took the sofa but perched on the edge, his eyes never leaving hers as she finally appeared in the room behind him, minus the wig, her blonde hair a little bedraggled, but to him it made her even more endearing.

                “Delilah,” he started, but she held her hand up to silence him.

                “Quinn, when I walked out of that cafe I honestly thought you’d follow me, that you’d say you made a mistake, that you cared about me. As it was you let me do it all alone, you were horrible to me, all because I made you remember your best mate, and the fact that you never got the chance to screw her. Have you any idea how hard that was? You snubbed me, not just pushed me away, but made me feel worthless Quinn. I’ve sat here every day since with your baby here in me, with me, in this house...and all the time I felt like crap because you snubbed me, chose a memory over me.” She stood and moved to the window looking out into the small garden.

                “Now you’re back and it’s as though nothing happened, but it did Quinn....and I can’t let you rip me into pieces again, I don’t think I can take anymore. And I’d rather never see you again than go through what I have the last year again.”

                “So you’d keep me away from Freddy?”

She shook her head and smiled sadly, “no, I wouldn’t ever keep him from you, and the sad thing is that’s your priority!”

                “He’s my son, and I’ve missed so much already! Can you blame me for putting him first?”

Lilah sighed, “No, that’s exactly what I’ve been doing. But I honestly thought that earlier when you were ready to practically rape me that you saw me as more than just the mother of your son!” Moving to the door, she turned back to him, “I think you should go, it’s been a long day and I’m shattered.”

As she opened the back door, a large hand moved over her shoulder pushing the door shut, “don’t push me away!” He exclaimed, “This is you all the time Delilah, when the going gets tough you get going!”

Anger made her almost explode, spinning around she fought the impulse to lash out at him, “how dare you! You have hidden behind this bloody 'Johnny' for years. At least I have the courage to stand here and tell you how I feel, what I want from you. If you can’t give me what I need then I’m not up to a one night stand Quinn, been there and been burnt. So I strongly suggest you walk away, we can organise visits, time for you with Freddy, but that’s it.”

He shook his head, his face a breath away from hers, “I’m not looking for a one night stand Blondie, I’ve not got you out of my head since the last time, and I know another encounter will only blow my mind further. But I can’t promise you love and marriage darling, because I don’t think I’m that kind of guy, you know me, and you know what I am.  But I can promise you me, my undivided commitment, time...I haven’t thought about Johnny since the day you left. I swear. I meant what I said earlier, I’ve never wanted ANYONE as much as I want you.”

His fingers stroked her forearm gently and she moved her eyes to meet his.

                “I can’t promise you everything you want, but I promise you everything I can give.”

This confused her, she liked black and white, and here he was throwing up all shade of grey. He wanted her, he’d forgotten all about Johnny, that was music to her ears, and he looked at her she knew he was telling the truth. But the future? His work? Where did that put her?

His spare hand started to sun up and down her bare arm as he watched the confusion, the uncertainties cross her face, and it was just another persuasive force, another sensation to distract her usually logical mind.

                “What do you say Blondie?” he moved his lips to hover over hers, “am I worth a risk?”