Lost and Found - 37

37

Amelia heard the knock at the door but was in no rush to answer it, she blew dry her freshly washed hair, dressed, even applied a little lip gloss. Then, when she was ready she strode across the room to greet him.

Before showering she’d found her phone. It was out of charge and powering it up she had found several increasingly frantic phone calls from Li and her father. It was then that she realised just how he knew she was there, and what the hell he was talking about. She’d slept so heavily that no one could get hold of her. Worried Li must have contacted Sol. He’d had as little chance from inside the same hotel as she’d had from London...the irony.

Pulling open the door she was once again mesmerised by him, his beauty, his concern...everything.

               

                “Hi Sol!”

He shook his head, “you are the most self-centred pain in the arse on times Amelia Parkin!”

                “Excuse me?”

Stepping into the room allowing the door to slam shut, he invaded her personal space instantly, “Don't give me ‘Hi Sol’ when I’ve been trying to contact you for most of the night. If you hadn’t emerged by nine am the reception agreed to enter your room. You are one infuriating lady!”

She shrugged, “that maybe so, but I was shattered, I fell asleep. Let’s not forget I dropped everything literally to come here Sol Tanner, so don’t come all attacking on me. Ok?”

Sol had started to pace, “well you had people worried. Why are you here anyway? I thought you said all there was to say months ago.”

Amelia shook her head, “no, I said what was right at the time. I came here so quickly because I wanted to tell you that you’ve finally been cleared! Alex...” she gave him a brief resume of the wedding scenario. It still pleased her to know that everything had come out in the open, this was the chance for them, and this gave them time.

Sol was surprised, “You hit him? In front of everyone?”

Laughing she nodded, “I almost floored the bastard.”

                “So you finally got your jewellery back. You must be pleased.”  He stepped back to towards the door. “I’ll sleep well tonight knowing that Maxwell Parkin doesn’t blame me anymore. Everything is restored, hey?”

The bitterness of a teenage boy was still there, still raw, and suddenly she realised this really wasn’t the walk in the park she’d hoped for. Reaching out she laid a hand on his arm, swallowing as a warm sensation washed over her.

                “It was never just about the jewellery, in fact I don’t care if I never see it again. Sol, don’t be angry, please!” the words were weak, but she couldn’t vocalise all that she wanted to say.

                “Oh no!” he announced in a tone that oozed sarcasm, “I did angry months ago, after I did devastated, hurt then destroyed all after your father had ruined my life...AGAIN!” He lifted her hand from his arm, then turned to open the door.

                “Sol, you can’t just walk away!”

He smiled at her in an unfriendly manner, “Hot-Meal-ia I am a red blooded man...I cannot put myself through any more torture, turning my emotions on and off like a tap. I’m glad that everything is sorted, but I really can’t step back into this.”

                “But I love you!” The words burst out before she could even rationalise her thoughts. “You can’t leave! Don’t I mean anything to you?”

                “You meant everything Meals, but I wasn’t enough, you made the choice.”  Past tense. Amelia’s heart sank.

The door was open and he’d stepped out into the hall when she finally voiced a reply, “Thirteen weeks and four days I’ve spent wanting to be with you, wishing I’d had the selfishness in me to put myself first. Ninety five days of regretting the guilt that made me put my father first, that’s two thousand two hundred and eighty hours of waiting for this moment. But if you want to throw it all away...then that’s fine! Head back to whoever it was you brought home from shopping yesterday. I’m sorry I disturbed your holiday!”

And with that she slammed the door. She didn’t really believe that the woman was anything more than an acquaintance, she’d had plenty of time to think about him and she knew that Sol was a very loyal man. Amelia also knew she’d wronged him by pushing him away, but there wasn’t enough time in life to mess around.

She’d barely crossed the room when the door was hammered again, smiling she made her way back to it. Sol was almost imploding on the spot, his face was red, he was deep breathing and rearing over her like some kind of dragon.

                “I’m not with her! She’s staying in the next door room. She’d dropped her bags in the reception; I helped her up in the lift! You CAN’T think anything more!” The words came out in a rush.

Amelia burst into a smile, “so you do care!” His indignation said more than a thousand words. He would never have been so quick to clear his name if he didn’t want her.

                “You KNOW I care! All I’ve ever wanted is you. But at every cross roads in our lives you’ve chosen something else, but now suddenly your father has seen the error of his ways, or rather the innocence of mine, we’ve got a green light. But I was never good enough alone, there was always that doubt, you always held back!”

Amelia laughed out loud, “I didn’t hold anything back at Christmas. You had ALL of me Sol, that’s why this was so hard. I believed you the first time we talked about all that happened. I’ve spent the last year trying to convince my father of that. You know how I feel about you. And you’ve made as many choices other than me too! You ran away when we were kids, then chose Helena! You don’t have the carte blanche on being the pained one!”

                “At the hospital you asked me to understand the pressures on you, how you had to do the right thing by Max, but now I’m asking you to understand me, MY point of view. Because since my father died all I’ve ever been is rejected, by you, by Max, by Helena, by you for Clay, by you AGAIN for your father! I can’t take anymore of this. You have NO idea.”

He sat on the bed and slumped forward, his face cupped in his hands. She knew he was close to tears, and for the first time she started to get an insight into him and his outlook. Amelia sat beside him, and took his hands, trying to make him look at her, but he refused. Suddenly this was all so awful, she’d not really thought about his role in all this, how he’d feel at her choosing her father, or at her suddenly deciding she wanted more from him. As much as she loved him, she’d not fully anticipated the depth of his feelings, the extent of his hurt. He’d always seemed so strong, so independent, but she could see nothing but her own ignorance as she watched this strong man struggle to avoid the tears that repeated rejections had seemed to cause.

                “I never realised. Sol I’m so sorry.” Shrugging he avoided her eyes. So she continued, “If it’s any consolation, I’d decided to come here, to find you before I found out about Alex. I planned to tell my father, and Sylvia, but she’d dropped more than a subtle hint, he knew I was going to leave, come find you and he was pleased for me, BEFORE he knew about Alex. Don’t you see? I know you can never forgive him, but I’d wanted this way before the wedding revelations.” She tilted his face and his teary eyes finally found hers. “I’ve loved you since I was twelve Sol, I can’t stop that, I can’t live a lie and I can’t live without you...but if you’ve had enough I understand. I never meant to hurt you. You were always so strong; I suppose I just presumed that nothing could hurt you.”

At that very moment her phone rang, finding it connected to the charger on a bedside table she spotted Li’s number and knew she had to speak to her.

                “Bloody hell Ams, are you trying to make me have early labour here?” there was true relief in her voice.

                “Sorry Li, I fell asleep, I was so knackered I think I could have slept through an earthquake! I’ve been suitably chastised!”

                “Good! That means you spoke to Sol?”

Amelia glanced across at him, still sat in the same position as she’d left him, head down, emotionally drained. “He’s here now, it’s a difficult time. Can I call you a little later?”

Li was silent for a moment, “that doesn’t sound too good. Are you sure you’re ok?”

                “I’m fine, honestly. I’ll call you in a little while, I swear.”

Stepping back to Sol, she knelt in front of him, between his knees, “Sol? Do you need some time? I can leave...”

Reaching for her hand, he shook his head, eventually lifting his eyes to hers, “I know it wasn’t easy for you, but I suppose it’s been easier to blame you, to try and hate you all over again than to admit that sometimes life throws these curveballs, and there’s not a great deal I can do about it. I’ve spent so many years feeling alone, not lonely, I have friends, colleagues, but I had no one who knew me...as soon as I found you again, it was perfect...I’ve struggled to cope with losing you Meals, I can’t lie to you about that.”

She nodded, feeling her own tears at the knowledge that he felt the same as her. “Can we try again? Make this work? It’s all I want Sol. And I promise I’ll put you first, forever!”

                “On one condition!” He cupped her face in his large hands.

                “What’s that?” she was suddenly mesmerised by his searching eyes, his gentle smile, and the pent up passion she could almost feel surging through him.

                “You pack all this stuff up and get into my room! I’m booked here for another four days, and I’m suddenly tempted to retrace my route through South America, there are so many places I’ve been the last three months that I’ve wanted you to share, to see with me.”

She grinned, “Well I’ve got nothing to rush home for, I’m all yours!”

With a growl he pulled her up into his arms, “fuck the bags, we can get them later!” Then with a caveman like grunt, he opened the door and strode along the corridor...down the stairs...along another corridor...uncaring of whoever saw them, to his room.

Much, much later, Amelia was sat in the centre of the bed, her chin on her bent knees watching the door. Sometime in the last twenty minutes Sol had left to empty her room, he was also changing her occupancy with reception, then he’d promised lunch...or breakfast...or something in between.  Every minute without him was a minute too long. Her body ached, but her mind was buzzing, they’d had such a fantastic reconciliation that she could barely take the smile from her face.  

Any second she was expecting the door to open and a tray of something delicious smelling to precede him into the room, but he was taking longer than she imagined. Not that she was worried, she trusted him implicitly. The previous night as she’d tried to digest the woman she’d seen him giggling with, carrying bags, she’d come to the conclusion that she didn’t doubt his love, never had. That was why she’d been so quick to dump everything, turn up unannounced, she knew he’d be pleased to see her, knew that once they’d ironed things out he’d love her, want her and desire her.

She hadn’t been disappointed on any of the last three, that was for sure. Straightening her legs, she tried to ease the aches, but they were aches that she loved, because they were due to him!

Suddenly a ringing sound broke the silence. Amelia glanced around but couldn’t see a phone anywhere. Concerned it may be Sol trying to contact her, she’d left her phone in her room, she wrapped the sheet sarong style around her naked body and she climbed down from the bed to follow the sound. Eventually she pulled open the bedside cabinet drawer and saw his blackberry vibrating and ringing.  Lifting it she saw the name ‘Craig’ flashing on the screen, but she had no interest in talking to Sol’s PA. Ignoring the call she made to replace the handset, when something caught her eye, reaching into the drawer she curled her fingers around a worn and well used black velvet box.

As she popped the lid and gasped at the vintage style diamond solitaire, the bedroom door opened.

                “Sorry!” she snapped the lid closed and guiltily threw the box back into the drawer and shut it, before spinning around to face him.

A leisurely smile crossed his face as he sensed her unease, her embarrassment at being caught snooping, raising a questioning eyebrow, he dumped her bags and the covered tray of delicious smelling food.

                “Your phone rang...I was just being nosey! Honest!” A flush of shame swept up her neck and cheeks. “I didn’t mean to pry!”

Sol was laughing now, stalking across the room towards her, “hoping to find some secrets? I can guarantee there are no photos of your love rival from next door!”

He’d teased her relentlessly over her initial fears that he’d met someone else since she’d been in his room.

                “Not at all!” She announced bravely, “I just saw something that looked really old and thought maybe someone had left it here. I didn’t think you’d have carried something like that with you!”

He was by her side now, opening the drawer and finding the box. Popping the lid he admired the beautiful piece of jewellery. “Stunning, isn’t it?” He glanced at her. “It was my mothers. She gave it to me in her will. The only thing I have to remind me off her... which is why I would never have stolen your own legacy from your mother.”

She nodded, “I know, and I’m sorry I doubted you. Do you take it everywhere with you?” She presumed the ring was his comfort blanket, his memory of when times were good, a link to a time when he felt loved and part of a family.

Sol shook his head, “it’s been in a safety deposit box for years, I never wanted to lose it, but never wanted for it to be used either. I collected it in January, brought it with me when I picked you and took you to the hotel from the hospital. It was my gesture to show you I could give you space but couldn’t lose you forever. But it never really seemed like the right time.”

Her hands covered her mouth as he spoke, the realisation hitting her harder than she thought possible. He wanted her to have this ring, not Helena the woman he married, or the older woman next door, but her. “But...”

As she lifted her eyes to look at him she saw he’d dropped down onto one knee, “so Hot-Hot-Meal-ia, what do you say? Will you become the next Mrs Tanner?”

What could a girl do but dive on the man she loved and agree in no uncertain terms?