Learning to Fly - 33

Chapter 33 - You came for me?

Carly felt the world turn, she almost pinched herself to see if this was a dream, but as Lucas slipped, lost his footing for a second, her heart surged to her mouth, and she knew that this was real. He was here. He looked pale, Carly could tell, despite the hat pulled down over his ears, and the pink tinge that the gale force wind had caused. 

She watched him approach, drinking in every nuance of him. Her memory hadn't done him justice. His angled features, warm eyes, all were familiar, yet so foreign to the one dimensional figure that had occupied her dreams. 

He slipped again, sending a cascade of loose scree over the cliff, to crash on the rocks below. It was at that moment that Carly realised he was well out of his comfort zone, in fact, it may be the precarious ground and the lack of confidence in his footing that was making him look white.

Carly uncoiled from her position adn turned to him, wanting to smile, but wanting to lash out too. Let him know how much he'd hurt her.

"What are you doing here?" she shouted over the swirling wind.

"Apparently committing suicide!" he exclaimed as once again he slipped.  

She wanted to laugh, but it was too tense a moment, instead, Carly leapt over the rocks in her usual confident manner until she landed in front of him, "there's a bench up here. Will that be better?"

Lucas nodded nervously before tracing his steps back to the path above, "shit!" He exclaimed lowering himself to the bench, "your Dad said it was a path for the experienced scrambler, but I didn't believe him!"

"You've met my Dad?" Carly's heart was racing as she looked down at an increasingly more healthy looking Lucas. The thought of him in the compact lounge of her family home, talking to her father...it all terrified her, for reasons she couldn't fathom. 

He nodded, and it was only then that he broke into a real bonafide Lucas smile, "told him I was the idiot who'd let you down."

Carly groaned, "you didn't let me down Lucas."

His gloved hands reached for hers and he pulled her down next to him, "you were right Carly. About everything."

With him looking at her so intently she could barely follow the conversation, she had no idea what she was right or wrong about. When she didn't answer, Lucas panicked.

"I do keep myself aloof, and I hate to take risks. That's the truth..." This was more difficult than he imagined. "The thought of you leaving hurt, and rather than accept that I could change that, I hid behind it. I'm sorry!"

Carly didn't know what she was expecting, and didn't know what his words meant. It seemed some sort of apology, but then they were so far past that. 

"You make it sound like I wanted to go. But I couldn't stay..." she stared at him emotion ravaging her face.

Lucas smiled, "I know that, and I should never have made it sound like you did...I'm not good at this!"

Carly wanted to laugh, share in his discomfort, but she was barely breathing, "who is?"

He looked down at her hand, so small in his large ones, and ran his thumb over her palm, "why were you up here? Alone?"

Carly glanced out into the distance, "it's my escape. I find my life here so claustrophobic, but here, I can breathe, relax...see a future." She looked back to him, "do you know what I mean?"

Grinning he gave an involuntary shudder, "it seems like the end of the Earth. It scares me!"

Nodding, she moved her eyes back to the horizon, "that's what thrills me. I came back here determined that I wouldn't slot back into the life I had, I had so many ambitions, but I've..." She shrugged, "I've lost the desire for life I'd found in Austria."

Lifting one hand he pulled her chin back so that she had to face him, "you've not lost that, maybe you're just having a break, letting life move on around you? You've had such a difficult few months, been through so much..."

It annoyed her that tears threatened to fall, she always seemed only a step away from crying, "I suppose you're right."

"You wanted to travel?"

She nodded, "I want to see the World, but I don't want to see it alone, I just don't think that the person I want to see it with is willing to let go of their own ghosts."

He took a  rapid intake of breath and stared at her, "you really feel that?"

She shrugged, "you're hiding in Austria, that job is no more special than the next one. You speak four languages, you're dynamic, enthusiastic...and yet you are happy to work in a reception of a mediocre hotel. To me you're settling for some sort of security."

"You've got strong opinions on this?"

"I've had a long time to think about it."

He nodded slowly digesting her words, "I don't agree."

Carly looked at him for a long moment, she SO wanted this story to be different. "Why are you here Lucas?"

She had been so pleased to see him, but now her fear was that she was being selfish. What gave her the authority to judge him? Nothing really, but she did think she knew him now. And he was so much more genuine, intelligent, work-hardy than anyone else that she'd worked with in Austria. Surely that changed his agenda from everyone else?

He was pondering in a similar fashion, and it was a while before he answered, "I missed you. I really needed to see you. Just because I'm not in a position where I can drop everything and follow you to the ends of the earth doesn't mean I don't miss you."

That was music to her ears, and at least some sort of starting point in any relationship between them. 

She offered a smile and Lucas' face lit up, then she said, "I'm sorry if I sound like I'm bullying you...it's just..." she took a deepbreath, confession time, "I really like you, more than I thought possible. But a Konig owned resort is out of the question for me, and I don't want to think about us getting any closer and then you returning there, leaving me."

Lucas realised he hadn't thought this through, he'd come here on a whim, well a bit more than a whim, but it was on the basis that he missed Carly in a way he hadn't thought possible. But now he could see that any emotional involvement would come with a sacrifice from someone - Carly and her dreams, him and his security. 

"Can't we try and work that out as we go along Carly? I mean we have to see if there's more to this than us just missing each other's company? Neither of us can promise the other a lifetime, not now, not at this moment. We need to try, then think about what we're going to do, do you see that?"

She nodded, "that makes sense." She'd dreamt of his proclamations of undying love, him dropping eveything to be with her, and she could see how unrealistic that was. But a girl can dream...

He slid along the bench toward her, "I do speak sense sometimes..." his voice was husky as he moved closer, "I have wanted to do this for SO long..."

And with that he swept down to cover her lips with his.

Carly could barely function over the pounding of her heart. She'd been kissed before, but it had never felt like this. She felt as though she was on fire! His lips were warm, soft yet insistent and he instantly had control over her. To Carly it was mesmerising. She had a sudden need to be under his skin and she clung to him as though her life depended on it.

For Lucas it was equally overwhelming. He had to physically fight to stop his hands pulling open her coat, partly because he didn't want to ravish her here, on a desolate cliff, and partly because it was too bloody cold!

Pulling back he looked down at her face, her eyes were still closed, an expression of pure bliss occupying her features. With a delayed reaction to his lips leaving hers, her eyes blinked open adn she studied him equally intently. "I've booked into a hotel Carly, come back with me?"

Their arms and bodies were entwined in a way that it was difficult to know where one person ended and the other began. Carly knew what going with him would mean, that she'd give in to the desire and lust erupting between and around them, and whilst she wasn't sure if this was the right thing for her, if she'd come out of it with her sanity in tact, at this very moment in time her desire for him was winning the battle. Giving a nod of her head, she accepted his hand and led him across the rocky terrain towards the nearby town.