Learning to Fly - 39

Chapter 39 - The Wedding Part Two.

The dining room was decorated in much the same way that the ceremony room had been, white roses and drapes of tulle. It was magical, and with the candle lit tables, the immaculate white table linen and the high quality crystal glassware the whole room was breathtaking. 

Carly froze in the doorway, taking a moment to appreciate the beauty of the room. When a hand slid to the small of her back and propelled her in through the door, she smiled, "Isn't it beautiful Sam?"

"Fantastic!" 

She froze rooted to the spot, fighting against the pressure forcing her toward a side door and the veranda. She'd know that voice anywhere, whether it be aggressive like this, or moaning her name in the heat of passion, but she couldn't bear to look at him. Lucas Slater. Over powering her he continued his pressure until they got to the door, then he propelled her through it. 

The rail that edged the veranda helped her to stop as she fell against it, tottering in the ridiculous heels she'd immediately regretted wearing. Slowly she turned to see Lucas stood there, arms crossed eyes blazing. She drank him in for a moment, until she realised the anger wasn't easing. 

"What?" Suddenly she felt as though she was stood in front of a headmaster facing detention. But she'd done nothing wrong...really.

"What?" he repeated through gritted teeth. "You don't open my emails or take my calls, then you turn up here with a man...I thought we were special that we could work on a relationship."

Carly sighed, "that's just it Lucas, we can't work on a relationship when we're on opposite and perpendicular trajectories. It would never work."

"So you've moved on? Is that it?" He hissed.

Carly looked at him, desperate to throw her arms around his neck and mash her lips to his, but she needed more from him, a sign that changing her plans, altering her future was reciprocal. "The invite was 'plus one', and Sam's..." She paused unable to think of words to describe him. 

"My replacement! I get it! Lucky I didn't hand in my notice, leave the only stability I have on a whim, isn't it?"

She watched him storm off to the bar, and suddenly realised that her apprehension over this plan was well placed. She'd all but thrown away any chance she had left. 

it was fifteen minute before she'd composed herself again and was able to rejoin the room. When she did, Sam was stood nervously looking around and Camilla was pacing in her usual impatient manner. 

"There you are! You disappeared!" She looked at Carly's emotion ravaged face and her concern eased. "Lucas? He took you outside? Oh! It's so romantic!" 

Sam nudged her rather inelegantly, "and she'd on her own, so that says this has hardly been the greatest success!" 

Camilla smiled, "au contraire. If he sought her out SO quickly, then he's not going to give up so easily."

Carly was thinking that Sam was right, that she'd blown it. Cam's insistence on adhering to her plan may well have been the worst thing in the world. With a groan she found her name place on one of the large round tables and slipped into sitting, filling her glass from a bottle of wine that sat on the table. When she heard a sound to her left she looked up to see Sam smiling at her. 

"Was it a disaster?"

She shrugged, "he just thought I'd instantly replaced him, and I think he had realised where he was going wrong..."

"So that's a good thing. Look I sat next to you for the duration of the service, we both know nothing more than that will happen. Just play this out, the one thing I agree with Camilla on, is that if he doesn't make enough effort then he doesn't deserve you. Hard as it may seem, it's better now than later on down the line."

Nodding appreciatively, Carly was relieved to see that someone spoke with common sense. She'd heard it repeatedly, that he may not deserve her, but she couldn't imagine that eventuality. She'd seen enough out on the veranda to make her think that he did love her, that he wanted to work something out, try and be together. 

Sipping her wine she pondered her next move. Finding him was imperative, then coming clean, explaining that this was all an attempt to force his hand. And that since they'd been separated, she actually realised she was willing to change her dreams, that he mattered more.

A round of applause caused her to look up and the bride and groom, all smiles and glowing entered the room, and as everyone sat for dinner Carly became embroiled in conversations around the table. She was sat with Sam of course, and Camilla but also Rochelle, Franz and five other members of staff from the hotel. People she hadn't spoken to in ages. 

The speeches were short, but funny, and then the newly weds were up and taking their first dance. 

"Shall we join them?" Sam was stood beside her with an outstretched hand. It had been so long since she'd seen Lucas that offering a dazzling smile she stood and accepted his hand.

"Thanks for this, I know you're desperate to get Cam up here for a dance!"

He grinned, "I'm officially here with you, I have a long time to decide how I feel about Camilla!"

"You are as besotted with her as she is with you!"  Carly announced as he took her into his arms for the slow dance. "You can't deny that! Life is for living, and you're both wasting valuable time being stubborn!"

He shook his head, "it's not as easy that. we're still feeling each other out. You know?"

Carly saw the honesty in his face and knew that if he and Camilla ever managed to work out that they fancied each other, that he'd look after her. It was a comforting thought and she smiled at him.

"What?"

Shrugging she could only offer, "I'm just thinking how lucky Camilla is, to have you. She needs friends, you know that?"

He nodded, "I know, she's a bit vulnerable at the moment."

As time went on, Carly was starting to like Sam more and more. As he expertly moved her around the dance floor, she smiled at him, despite his repeated questioning glances, she merely shrugged, happy with her opinion of this man.

Carly had only picked at her food, and several glasses of wine had made her more than a little emotional. So once she'd danced with Franz, hugged Bernard and Marta more than a dozen times, she took advantage of the lull in the proceedings to disappear back to the veranda. It was a deceptively warm evening, and with a wrap around her shoulders she was comfortable. The view wasn't great at night, but it was pleasant to be away from the hordes of people and then inane conversations. She wanted a few moments to feel sorry for herself. 

She wasn't sure if the sound of feet behind her, or the distinct impression of someone watching her, hit her consciousness first, but when she did spin around, Lucas was lurking in the darkened corner of the same veranda.

"Lucas!" His name escaped her lips as a gasp before she had the chance to control her emotions. He looked so good, yet so awful. The immaculate dinner suit an extreme contrast to the dark rings around his eyes and the unkempt nature of his hair, even his stubble. But it didn't detract from the lithe and athletic build of the man she loved.

He was looking at her, she could tell that, but was unable to decipher his expression because of the shadows cast by the poor light that emitted from the dining room. And he didn't answer her.

"Lucas, won't you speak to me? Please? This is torture."

His laugh was harsh, and it set the hairs on her neck on edge. "I don't think we have anything to say. Do we?"

Taking a deep breath she walked toward him, "if that were the case, why have you suddenly reappeared? I'd have thought you'd have left."

Laughing angrily he stepped towards her, meeting her in the shaft of light that escaped through the curtains from the room she'd left. "I've not gone anywhere Carly. I've been here for every single minute!" 

She groaned, "Lucas...please."

Suddenly she realised he was more hurt than angry. She'd hurt him, not just that day, but in her rejections since she'd told him she hated him. "Sam is a friend of Camilla's. He came with me today so I didn't have to be here alone. My crutch. I never wanted to hurt you."

He studied her in silence, and she knew he was trying to tell whether this was the truth, looking for hints that she was lying. 

"You ignored me Carly. Do you have any idea how hard it was to have you never answer a call? Read an email? All I wanted was to talk things through."

Carly tried to smile, "but it was your inability to talk that made me so mad! I lay my heart on my sleeve, told you I loved you, I was willing to change my life plans for you. And you just...just said nothing!"

Lucas turned away, gripping hold of the railings as a way of managing his anger, "there are a lot of things I haven't been ready to share. And that's not a slight on you...but purely on me. I'm not a touchy feely person Carly. I dont' share my emotions. I thought you'd have given me more than a few days to get my head around how I feel about you."

She gulped with nervousness, "and how is that?" 

Laughing he glanced to his right to look at her, "how do you think? I've not slept since I've been back. I can't work...you've ruined my life!"

Carly couldn't help but grin, "sorry about that." She stepped towards him, "but there's one way of getting things back on track!"

He raised an eyebrow, a silent question.

"Say it! Then we can work on the rest. Tell me!"

Holding her breath she watched him fight with his indecision, "I'm not..."

"That is the whole point Lucas. If you can't tell me that you love me, that you want this to work then it won't, and you deserve any torment that you have. I deserve a man who can tell me how he feels."

As she turned away from him, he called out, "I showed you! I may not have said it, but I showed you EVERY minute we were together!"

Carly had tears in her eyes as she spun around to face him, "they say actions speak louder than words, but how could I ever know that I was more special than anyone else? Saying 'I love you' isn't uttering three words Lucas, it's a commitment, a sign that you want me. That I'm special." As she finished the sentence a tear escaped her eye, and without thinking he reached out to catch it with his thumb. She jolted away from the 'zap' that the contact caused a million memories fighting to reach her consciousness. "I love you Lucas, I want everything with you...but...well, you have to want it to."

Fighting so hard to not let another tear escape, she turned away, that was her final gesture. With shaky steps she crossed to the doors that would lead her back into the hotel and the life that was going on unaware of hers crashing down around her.

After six paces she reached the door with her right hand, and as she depressed the handle, a hand circled her wrist.

"I love you Carly. I do more than anything. You know that more than I do. I just don't know how to deal with that! It scares me!"

She let out the breath she'd been holding, dropping her head she mumbled, "that's the point, risks are scary and love is a risk. But it's one I think you're worthy of."

Lucas pulled her around to face him, "don't leave. Not now. Stay and show me how to do this...Please?"

it was greater than any of the top fifty romantic lines from films, and knocked Humphrey Bogart's "we'll always have Paris" clean out of the water. When she was facing him, she saw her own tears mirrored in his and knew that this was what she wanted. Him, a quivering mess, over her. After all that was the affect he had on her.

A brief nod preceded his lips finding hers. A passion that she knew she'd never find with anyone else engulfed them almost immediately. When she managed to lift her head, look into his eyes, Carly smiled, "it'll work out if we have this, you know!" She referenced the passion that sizzled like electricity. But Lucas was too engrossed with enjoying her kisses to even digest anything else. But he knew in that moment he'd not let her go again.