Starting Over - Chapter Seventeen - ...........never as you think

Chapter Seventeen  ...............never as you think

Ellen pretended she hadn’t said it, wanting to hide her blushing cheeks, not wanting to look him in the eyes and see rejection, so she pulled away from him and went in to hyper over the top mode, dragging him by the hand to a nearby wine bar.  This was the usual after work stop off for her colleagues, as she ordered a bottle of wine, then sighed with relief as Audrey appeared chuckling at the door, diffusing her closeness to Jan and her horrendous faux pas.

                “Oh Ellen, darling! I do so wish I’d brought a camera to record that!” the elderly woman pulled her into an embrace. “The bastard! I’ve waited years to see him brought down like that...and I always knew he was nowhere near good enough for you!”

Ellen smiled, accepting the hug, “and I hear you and Jan are in cahoots already!”

Audrey laughed, “such a gorgeous young man! SO much better for you!” Audrey fell straight into an embrace with him next, and moments later a dozen or more colleagues descended on them.

They were engulfed with people all keen to congratulate Ellen on finally putting Richard in her place, as well as those wanting to meet Jan, who looked divine suited and booted. Ellen only wished half these people had warned her six months ago about their reservations. It’d have saved a lot of time and effort, but then she knew she’d not have been receptive then. No, things worked out in the only way they could.

She was contemplative in mood as she felt an arm snake around her, and looking up she saw Jan smiling down at her.

               

                “Have I told you how yummy you look today?” She offered desperate not to get in to a conversation over the ‘L’ word.

He smoothed the lapels on his suit, “you like the smart me hey? Well make the most it’s the only time you’ll see me like this!” Chuckling he swooped into kiss her gently. “I think we should make a move though, I really want to meet you r parents, then there’s this early flight back tomorrow.”

She was shaking her head, “I can’t believe you’re here Jan, it’s all so surreal!”

He grinned, “I know I didn’t think I’d be leaving Majorca for months either, funny to think there’s still a world going on outside of the holiday world, isn’t it?”

Ellen nodded, “it has all been a bit surreal hasn’t it?”

                “Grab your coat, I’m going to the bathroom, then I’ll meet you outside?”

It took a while for Ellen to leave, suddenly she was the most popular person in town, everyone wanted to say goodbye, or hello, or at least pass their regards. By the time she got outside the door it was a while after she’d last seen Jan. It was getting dark, so she sat on a wall nearby.

She was rooting around in her bag for her mobile phone, she wanted to call her parents and warn them that Jan was coming for tea, when she heard a voice.  Turning around she spotted Jan pacing the pavement, his own phone held to his ear, his body tense, he was obviously angry. His voice was raised but he wasn’t speaking English, it sounded German or maybe Dutch?

                “Suppose you think that was clever?” A voice at her ear drew the hairs on Ellen’s neck on end. Slowly she turned to see Richard stood there, an angry yet defeated look on his face. “Getting lover boy in was an inspired touch. You didn’t waste much time.”

Ellen looked at Richard, his thick brown hair, dark eyes and rounded face had all been so appealing to her, now she saw a womanising, egotistical bastard, and she was so glad she was away from him.

                “Funny what happens on a honeymoon, hey?” her jaw was raised, she was determined to look down at him. “Good luck with Rebecca, or whoever your current love is, I can assure you I’ve never been happier, I am so glad I saw what you were before the wedding!”

He guffawed loudly, “saw what I am? You have no idea Ellen, one day you’ll come crawling back to me, needing my help, wanting to be in my bed again, and I’ll use you as little or as much as I want, then I’ll show the world what you really are, a cock-teasing slut!” His voice was raised, his eyes narrowed and he leaned over her in an aggressive manner, and she started to doubt her wisdom in even entertaining this conversation.

                “Ha!” It was Jan, and his voice cut through the quiet evening like a knife. “I think you’ll find that she’ll never want to go back to you Broughton, she’s finally found out what a real man is all about!”

                “You? Ha!” Richard snarled at Jan, “you aren’t worth shit!”

Jan laughed and Ellen could see how that was infuriating her ex even more. “She’ll never want you again if you were the last man on earth...and more fool you if you found her a tease....cos she delivers on every promise she makes me!”

With that Jan took her hand and led her away from the other man smiling at her as he walked.

They were in a taxi before she exhaled the breath she’d not realised she was holding.

                “Are you ok?” he asked taking both of her hands and looking at her intently.

She nodded, “I just thought for a minute that he might hit me...or you!”

                “Let him try!” he laughed, “I’m not scared of that man Ellen.”

Ellen looked at him, so supportive, so genuine. “About earlier Jan...what I said....that I...”

He grinned holding up a hand to silence her, “it’s been a very emotional day, you’ve been fraught, I’m not overanalysing anything. We say the weirdest things when we’re stressed! Forget it!”

Her heart sank, she’d expected to hear he wasn’t ready for the same, maybe that he didn’t feel the same way...YET, she’d almost prepared herself for that, because she believed he cared for her. What she hadn’t bargained on was such indifference, him not caring and brushing off her spontaneous outburst. This was worse than any scenario she’d thought of, what the hell did it mean?

They sat in silence the rest of the journey, both obviously thinking their own thoughts. How quickly the euphoria of her revenge on Richard faded....and left what?

Her mother was peeking out of the window as the taxi pulled up, she was gushing at the door when they both arrived.

                “Hi guys!” Her mother smiled, pulling the door open.

Jan extended his hand, “Mrs. Reynolds, I’m Jan Zeigler, pleased to meet you.” Once again Ellen glanced at Jan, the personification of charm, wit, all wrapped up in that rather expensive looking well cut suit.  Her mother was gushing, in a way she’d not seen her gush, but then Jan was in full on charming mode and she knew he would wrap her around his little finger. Her father shook Jan’s hand, then asked her about Richard. As she fed back the details, she followed him into the lounge accepting a glass of wine.

A few minutes later she wandered into the kitchen only to find Jan, tie loosened, jacket off, tasting the curry that was bubbling away on the hob, her mother was giggling at some joke he had made, then basked in his praise as he enjoyed the morsel of food.

                “Hey Ellen, you never told me what an awesome cook your mother is!” he held out an arm and she slid next to his body, a gesture, an action that had become so natural already. Relaxing into him, his arm held her close and she inhaled the lime smell that was him.

There really was no sight like Jan in full charm offensive, her parents didn’t stand a chance, and when he eventually left their company to visit the bathroom, they both turned to Ellen and swooned at how perfect he was.

After dinner they all sat and talked, about everything and nothing, Ellen was still reeling from the days earlier revelations, Jan’s nonchalance in the face of her slip up. Now as her parents talked about family holidays with the three girls, school escapades, family feuds, she watched Jan, laughing loudly, encouraging more, but giving nothing away. She knew only basics about him, he’d been in his Animacion job for a few months, and she had no idea what his previous job had been, or where he lived before being in Majorca, his best friend, last girlfriend. She knew nothing about him. And he knew EVERYHING about her.

It was strange to invite him into her childhood bedroom that night, and even stranger to lie with him, curled up under a duvet under her parents’ roof. She couldn’t relax, play with him as he wanted to play with her, and she blamed the tension on being in her family home, her childhood bed.

                “Who was on the phone outside the wine bar earlier? I’ve never seen you so angry.”

She felt Jan squirm, but she was determined to hear an answer so she turned to study him in the poorly lit bedroom.

                “No one, I promise.”

She sighed, “right.” This was what she feared, he was hiding something, as if it wasn’t bad enough that he had brushed off her love now he was lying to her.

He rolled over to lean over her, his arms either side of her head, “what do you mean ‘right’?”

                “Jan you were arguing with someone very passionately, yet you say it was nothing, this from the man who rushed here to fight my battles. You obviously care deeply about things, you’re a passionate man, I don’t understand what you’re hiding from me.”

                “I’m not....”

She placed a finger over his lips, “I don’t want to hear denials or lies, if you don’t want to share things with me then that’s your decision and frankly your loss.”  It took all her resolve to roll over and turn her back to him, and then close her eyes and sleep. She could hear him moving, he was unsettled, but that moment as she drifted off to sleep, she was uncaring of his unease.

Her parents were still gushing the next morning, her father had delayed going to work to drive them to the airport, and by lunchtime they were travelling back from the airport to the Palma apartment when Jan finally spoke about their argument.

                “I was talking to my sister.”

She turned slowly to look at him, he was looking at his hands, playing with the apartment key, twirling it around his fingers. “Your sister? Why couldn’t you tell me that?”

He shrugged, “I just don’t want to think about her, trivialities. It’s complicated Ellen.”

                “Too complicated for my stupid brain huh?”

Jan looked up suddenly, “no! I’m not saying that, I just...I don’t want to think about them at the moment, discussing things with you just prolongs her intrusion into my life.”

                “She wouldn’t interfere if she didn’t care!”

                “Care? Yeah right! What do you know?” he snapped a little too viciously.

The cab had stopped at the apartment and she opened the door, leaving him to deal with the bags. In the lounge she took a defensive stance behind the sofa and he sighed as he saw her stood there, pain and hurt in her eyes.

                “I was out of order Ellen, I’m sorry. She wants me to go home, to help my mother. And I told her I won’t, I can’t.” He looked up at her, “and no one seems to understand that!”

Ellen stared at him and for a moment struggled to see the man she’d fallen in love with, “yesterday you called this a holiday world, and that’s what this is. We can’t stay here forever, pretend that we don’t have family, friends, lives....Your sister, your mother...that’s the real bit, don’t you see that?”

He was shaking his head, “this is my life and I’m living it. For some reason people find that hard to believe. I’m a mature man, I’ve made my choices.”

Ellen slumped on to the sofa, “and that’s to be like a child ignoring your responsibilities?”

Jan moved to the door, “yet another person I can’t do enough for, hey? I thought you were different Ellen, how wrong was I?”

With that he walked out of the apartment slamming the door behind him.