Starting Over - Chapter Twenty Five - Step into my life.....

Chapter 25 - Step into my life

Three weeks later Ellen sat on the Eurostar zooming from London towards the tunnel that crossed under the channel to first France and then Belgium. Charlotte had arrived home the previous day from her whistle stop tour of the US, Ellen had explained to her via phone all that had happened, and she’d been swamped in hugs by her big sis before she dived out and hugged her beloved horse. Now free from responsibility, she was heading across to meet Jan. He’d called her every day, telling her all about his new work, asking after her and Arnold and Champagne. Despite all the arguing Ellen was missing him more than ever.

Emerging from the darkness of the tunnel, the train trundled through the flat landscape of the continent. It was quite hypnotic the ‘clack-clack’ of the rails, and she didn’t need much encouragement to fall asleep.

The announcement of the next station woke her from her snooze, and she started to gather her things. His home was in the countryside South of Brussels, but he was meeting her at the station in the City. She was glad she didn’t have to negotiate her way onto a local train service, she was shattered. Stepping down from the train she dragged her suitcase behind her. The last four months she’d virtually lived out of this case. She was like a nomadic traveller! Just as she was sighing at that realisation, she sensed Jan, and looking up she’d never been so glad to see him. Falling into his hug, she leaned into his body and let him wrap his arms around her, enjoying the moment of protection, the smell of him surrounding her, and even the kiss to the top of her head was a welcome sign.

When he finally let her go, she looked up at him, he was wearing a well cut expensive suit, a shirt and a loosened tie, his hair had been cut into a short neat style, the rebellious and very cute Mohawk was gone. She smiled, “you look rather...posh!”

Jan grinned, and suddenly he was familiar same old Jan again, “you made me go back to all this young lady!” With that he pulled the tie loose and unbuttoned the neck of the shirt. Grabbing her bags, he asked, “how was your trip?”

She groaned, “long...I’m knackered!”

He nodded, “you look fit to drop. It’s only half an hour to my house. Then you can sleep as much as you want!”

Ellen followed him to the car, happy to glance up every few moments and drink in the vision of him, how she’d missed him.

Jan knew the streets of Brussels like the back of his hand, but instead of the shortest most direct route, he decided to drive the most scenic route, at the end of the day he knew this was his chance to sell the city he loved to her. He wanted her to stay, and he knew that the city, the country, his home were all part of that. So as he drove he pointed out the various sights, the European parliament, museums, bohemian artist quarters, the university, restaurants, hotels, and the Atomium, the gigantic steel representation of an atom. He had reserved a table in the highest sphere, the restaurant in a few days time.

He smiled at the appreciation in Ellen’s eyes, as like a child at Christmas she absorbed everything with wide eyes. But as the cityscape gave way to countryside, flat fields full of various crops, she fell asleep. It was only a forty minute drive and he almost wished it was longer, she looked so peaceful.

The house was a converted mill though the water had long since dried up, in fact the mill wheel had been removed many years ago, and Jan had filled the space with an underground four car garage. As he got close he clicked a control on his dashboard and first the gates to the property, and then the garage opened to allow him to drive in. He glanced up at the terrace that sat outside the kitchen and was directly above the garage and noted that the sun was still bright, he planned for them to eat out with the view over the nearby lake. Parking the car next to his treasured motorbike, he gently shook Ellen awake.

                “Hey sleepy! I always seem to be waking you up! You ok?”

Ellen stretched and wriggled a knot out of her neck, “we’re here? Sorry I’m sleeping ALL the time at the moment.”

He nodded, rushing around to open her door, “well you’ve got a little being draining every ounce of your energy. And that’s my fault, so you really don’t have to apologise, if anything, I should apologise to you!”

 She half smiled, allowing him to help her to her feet, then followed him into the house.

The garage opened into a small lounge that overlooked a patio adorned with a kidney shaped swimming pool, Ellen took in the beautiful dark leather sofas, brown and teal fabrics, then followed Jan up the stairs to the main level of the house. To her right was a huge modern kitchen, opening onto a large dining room and large French doors led out to a terrace, to the left was a large lounge, more traditional furniture in shades of grey. The home was stylish yet traditional, from a window she could see a lake, trees...and not much else. The place was beautiful...perfect.

                “What a lovely house!” she turned to him, “I’m even more concerned about you now!” When he raised an eyebrow in question she added, “you stayed in that crappy hotel room and worked like a slave entertaining ungrateful tourists when you had this sitting here waiting for you?”

Jan laughed, “I never thought of it like this. And to be honest, I’ve not really been here for months, two years even. I’ve been sorting it out the last two weeks trying to make it liveable!  I take it from your approval that I succeeded?”

Flopping on to the sofa she nodded, “you did!” Sinking back into the comfortable seat, she fought the desire to close her eyes and return to her sleep zone. “So what’s for dinner?”

                “Would you believe take away pizzas?”

Ellen chuckled, “really? Mr ‘Perfect’ has an imperfection? Wow!”

He swatted at her head, “I wanted to make sure you settled in ok? Show you around....talk?”

                “I’ll take the ‘showing me around’!” she offered trying to smile. Ellen was fed up with feeling so anxious, so nervous yet so fearful. She needed to talk to him, she knew she couldn’t delay much longer. But she was enjoying being here, just for the moment. She’d managed to line up an interview back in London, her safety net if this didn’t work out, but for now she’d put all her eggs in this basket and the thought that it might all fall apart scared her half to death.

Jan showed her the five bedrooms, all en suite, the largest was so obviously his, a huge mahogany sleigh bed dominated the room, set to look out through the floor to ceiling window. The lightest, most comfortable looking white Egyptian cotton bedding appealed to her tired side, but after only glancing into that room, he took her across the hallway to a smaller more simple room.

                “This is where you can sleep...unless one of the other rooms specifically appeals. This is the largest after mine!”

She nodded mutely, surprised that he didn’t expect her to share a bed with him. She should be pleased but for some reason she wasn’t.  They were disturbed by the ringing of the doorbell.

                “That’ll be our pizza, come on!”

He directed her to the terrace, then came to join her with two huge pizza cartons and a large bottle of lemonade. As they shared the oozing pizzas Jan pointed out various features on the horizon, regaling stories of his childhood holidays. His parents had rented this house for summer holidays when he was a child. He explained that the house was very different in those days, but the lake, the surrounding woods, were all still the same.

After a few pieces of pizza she sat back, full. “So what do you have planned this week?”

Jan sighed, “I’ve managed to get a day off tomorrow, but then I’ll be working in Brussels, possibly Paris before the weekend, but I will make sure that you have everything you need....and tomorrow after showing you around the village I’ve arranged to meet my mother for dinner. Louis will be there, and maybe Marta...though I’ve warned them to go easy on you. She can be rather overpowering!”

Ellen openly grimaced at the thought of meeting his family, when he saw her expression he chuckled, “at least it’s all arranged, I met you sisters and your parents without any warning or explanation! They didn’t know who I was!”

                “Ok, ok you win. Do they know?”

                “About the baby?” he shook his head, “I haven’t told anyone Ellen, that’s our news not anyone else’s. And we still haven’t talked things through, have we?”

She shook her head, “can we talk tomorrow? Let’s not spoil this evening!”

                “Oh Ellen, talking about our future will hardly spoil the atmosphere!” He tried to convince her, but she looked both sad and scared. He wanted to deal with it all now, work out how they were going to manage to keep her amused living out here in Belgium, and the sooner they worked out the small print the better. But he also knew that she was likely to bolt at the first possible mistake he made.

After eating he took her on a stroll around the house and gardens, then down to the lake. A small dilapidated boat house stored a small rowing boat as well as an infinite amount of fishing tackle and equipment.

                “My father would love this!” She laughed, “I think fishing was his escape from three daughters and a nagging wife!”

                “And there’s a golf course ten minutes away! I think I’d be favourite in his book!”

She laughed, “well there’s not a lot to beat!”

Sensing she was tired, he encouraged her to head to bed after eating, assuring her he had some work to do first. Ellen was tired, and she did go quite quickly to sleep.

It was pitch black when she opened her eyes, and for a moment she couldn’t remember where she was. Jan’s house....the words came to her in a flash, and she sighed. Her watch told her it was three am. Too early to get up, she didn’t know her way around the house well enough to negotiate the dark. She’d left her book downstairs, so she couldn’t slide on the light and read. And as she lay there she had nothing more to think about than him, their baby, and their future.

It’s a bad idea! She told herself as she crossed the hallway and paused outside his bedroom door. She was just feeling lonely she told herself, that’s all it was, she wanted a little warmth, a hug some comfort.

Once she’d opened his bedroom door there was no going back. She remembered the bed was across the room, she could barely see it was so dark. Feeling tentatively she found the foot of the sleigh, then felt her way along. It was a huge bed and there was enough room this side for her to slip in, so she lifted the duvet and climbed in.

Jan was in the centre of the bed flat on his back. A stray hand reached out and Ellen encountered his flat hard stomach.

                “Wha....” he began but she silenced him with a finger to his lips.

                “I was lonely, I need a hug...”

With a groan he opened his arms and pulled her close to him, resting his chin on her head, there were no words, just the comfort of his arms around her. He smelt so good, and it was so relaxing being in his arms, in his bed, that it seemed so natural to tilt her head and place her lips on his. For a second his lips were still, she knew he was surprised by her actions, but she seemed to have left her rational thought in Brussels train station.

After a few seconds pause where her lips stayed moulded to his, he moaned, a satisfied sound, then rolled to hover over her. Then he kissed her.

Oh by the power of Greyskull! How she’d missed him! Within moments her pyjama’s were off, he she soon realised was naked anyway, and he was adoring her body in a way only he could, and punctuating his exploration, re-familiarisation with little compliments, loving the changes already taking place with her body.

As he finally slid into her it was a cathartic moment for Jan, all the endeavour of the last month had paid off. He had her, here in his house, in his bed.....it was all he wanted in life.

Ellen was pacing the patio the next morning, ruing her decision the night before. Not that she hadn’t enjoyed every second of it. She paused from her pacing at one particularly vivid memory. No she’d remember last night for a long time....forever? But she knew there was a short sharp conversation ahead.

Jan appeared as if he could read her mind, she ignored the voice that murmured in the back of her subconscious he can read your body so why not your mind?  

                “Where did you rush off to?”

She glanced up and gasped at him, naked bar a pair of boxer shorts. She’d showered and dressed after sneaking out of his bed. “Hardly sneaking!” she muttered.

Jan was halfway towards her anticipating a rather warmer welcome, and stopped dead in his tracks, “don’t DO this Ellen!”

                “Do what?”

He shook his head, “since your revelations in Majorca you’ve had the upper hand over me, thinking you know what I’m thinking, acting like the poor wounded swan. YOU came to my room last night, YOU initiated things...I’ve been nothing but a gentleman, despite the fact that I’ve wanted to make love to you dozens of times. Now after getting your way with me last night, I’m back to enemy number one! Is that your game? Or do you really not think I have feelings, emotions too??”

Ellen staggered backwards slightly, suddenly the shoe was on the other foot, she was stunned, “I...”

Jan laughed ironically, “speechless? Ellen....you may not realise it, but I chose to come to you, for you...not through guilt, or obligation, not through the baby, but because I want to be with you...”

She merely stared wide-eyed, unable to formulate a coherent sentence.

He nodded knowingly, “just as I thought...‘Jan the bastard uses me, just to add to everything else he’s done!’ I REALLY am Public Enemy Number One.....well pray for lightening to hit me or some other cataclysmic event to justify my bastard-ness!” He shook his head and tossed a small velvet box on the table in front of her. “What a waste of time and money!”