Lost and Found - 2

2

After a while people seemed to move inside the house, leaving the garden. Amelia had waved at Li a few times assuring her that she was fine, pleased to see her friend was circulating like a celebrity meeting everyone there.  She’d had a couple of beers and was calmer now. Strolling to the gazebo she sat nearer one of the patio heaters. Despite it being a warm evening, it was October...in London, not known for sitting outside in the dark.  Listening to the hubbub of the group gathered Amelia closed her eyes; she’d tried to keep her mind away from the tall dark blast from her past, but to no avail. The six foot two lump of a man was not only here in the party, but he was also in her head.

Amelia could remember the first time she set eyes on Sol, he would’ve been thirteen, and she was probably nine or ten. Her father Maxwell Parkin had been an army major, and for the first part of her life she’d barely seen him, she remembered happy times with her mother, struggling to fill the huge country manor house with noise. But then he was home, fresh from military operations in the Middle East and it all changed. He was a stickler for discipline, believed that children if they had to be seen, should never be heard, this was such a stark contrast to her mother, who smothered her with love and happiness....and singing. Her mother always sang. It didn’t help that her cousin Alec would come to stay for school holidays, he was the perfect son in her father’s eyes, accomplished at hunting, shooting, captained every team in his boarding school from lacrosse to debating. And he behaved ‘impeccably’ to quote her father.

Then one day she walked into the lounge to see a man talking to her father, they were deep in debate. John Tanner had been a lower ranked soldier in her father’s charge, and one night in a dawn raid, he’d saved her father’s life. But that day as he stood in her home, he was devastated, almost at the point of breakdown, his wife had died in a car accident, he was barely consolable, and to his left was the most beautiful boy she’d ever seen, tall with shaggy dark hair, and the loveliest, saddest blue eyes. She remembered like it was yesterday barely being able to drag her gaze from him. He was looking at the floor, struggling to control his grief.

Maxwell Parkin and the word charitable didn’t belong in the same sentence, but as this man had saved his life, he felt obligated to him. John and Sol as she found out he was called, moved into the far wing of the house, starting work for the family, the estate was too big for her father to manage, he had damaged his left leg at some point in the past and physical work was too much for him. On that day the grief ridden Tanner men became part of their family.

Amelia had been a rather geeky child, but she’d always blossomed in his gaze, from the first time she’d found him sat in the garden kicking aimlessly at the dirt.

                “Hi!” she offered. “I can always show you around, if you like?”

The boy had smiled, “Amelia isn’t it?” It was the only time he’d called her by her real name, after that she’d been Hot Meal-ia, Cold Meal-ia, depending on her mood, and one of the worst being Ready-to-eat-Meal-ia when she was dressed for a family wedding at  fourteen.

When she nodded, he held out his hand, “I’m Sol.”

                “Short for Solomon?” she asked.

He shook his head, “It’s Spanish for sun. I was apparently conceived on a sunny day in Spain.”

She’d looked at him blankly completely unaware of what that meant, but she’d looked it up in her dictionary later, and when she was still confused, she asked Carla her baby sitter.  Shock was an understatement, but that revelation just added to the intrigue and appeal that the house guest had caused. That was day one of her crush.

                                                             

                “Thought you’d have run away by now!”  A hard voice dragged her back to the present with a jolt. Amelia took a deep breath before slowly opening her eyes.

                “Sol, what is your problem? Surely there’s more to do than annoy me tonight?” she was resigned, tired and far too emotionally ravaged to fight him. And was still quite amazed that despite the level of hatred he had for her, he still wanted to goad her, pester her.

He pulled out a chair and sat opposite, “you find it a surprise that after all these years I wouldn’t vent my anger on you? There have been a lot of years to rue the influences of one night on my life!”

Amelia shrugged “I was never your enemy Sol, and if you think I was....” she tailed off and looked at him. The animosity still in his eyes was raw, and she could see her words had no impact. “I should leave.”

Sol laughed now, an ugly sound, “just as predicted!”

Amelia snapped, she’d had enough in this short amount of time since she’d seen him, “God Sol, will you listen to yourself! We’re not teenagers anymore, and I don’t owe you anything! I don’t know what you think I’ve done personally, if anything it’s YOU that owes me an explanation, if not an apology! I will not sit here and listen to you talk down to me, insult me when I’ve done NOTHING wrong!”

Standing she made to move, tears prickling at her eyes, and she had no intention of letting him see her cry. But a hand circled her wrist, pulled her back, forced her to look at him, the contact was a jolt, just as it had been earlier, and as she finally met his eyes there was a little more warmth there.

                “Meal-ia, all I wanted was to see you again. But you left me to the wrath of your father.”

Amelia felt pain like a lance to her chest remembering the day as though it was yesterday, “you think I waltzed away scot free? You think I wasn’t reprimanded? Let me tell you Sol Tanner, the moment my father found us in bed together my life changed too. I was sent to boarding school that same day! Every holiday I was taken to a distant relative, anything to keep me off the social map and away from you. He hasn’t looked at me without disgust in his eyes since. So don’t stand there and tell me that some harsh words and a bag of my jewellery was any worse!”

His face dropped, “you believe that? That I stole from you?”

She shrugged, “all I know is that the only things my mother ever gave me left that day, and I’ve had no real family since. I am past caring now, I have no interest in what did or didn’t happen, not anymore. It’s over, I’m over it! I’m sorry if you’re still stuck in the past!”

As she made to move he pulled her back again, “I didn’t....”

Amelia raised a hand to silence him, “you didn’t think? Didn’t know? Nah you were too busy punishing me for your own guilt Sol. That’s your problem. I’m not staying here to be your whipping boy, so...I’d like to say it was fun....”

With that she dashed into the house. Her euphoria was bittersweet, she’d appreciated the stunned look on his face, but the memory, the whole series of events she’d blocked out still hurt. She’d loved Sol, and those few days had seen her devastated by him, her family and life.

Li was talking to a few people in the lounge, she looked happier than she’d seen her in a long time, and Amelia knew that leaving would devastate her. But she’d spent enough time as a wallflower, she needed to get out, get away from this place. She’d failed to make eye contact with Li, and she couldn’t just leave. As she made for the door that same cold, analytical voice, cut through the hallway.

                “Abandoning your friend? In her hour of need?” There was less aggravation and anger in his voice, but as she turned Amelia saw he still had that look that she was starting to hate. How the hell did he know about Li anyway? She glanced guiltily at her friend then back to Sol.

                “You’ve changed, the Sol I knew would never have been this nasty!”

He sighed in an almost resigned manner, “well your father was the instigator of that Meal.”

                “Can’t you leave me alone? As my mother always said if you can’t say anything nice, say nothing at all. This is a busy party, you can easily avoid me. But no, you keep coming after me just to wind me up, be horrible.” Amelia glanced towards the house, “the presentation is starting and you’re out in the hall. Why have you come here at all if you’ve no interest in the book launch?”

Sol shrugged, “I could ask you the same question!”

Amelia sighed, she was fed up with the shame, the regret and the heartbreak that one night had caused to her life. Her father had barely spoken to her since, so much had changed, and she knew as she thought back over the years that losing Sol had been the hardest part.

“I’m glad we did meet today. I’ve hated everything about that day for so long, but now maybe I can see there are two sides; I didn’t consider that until half an hour ago. Will you meet me? Monday afternoon? Can’t we try and work things out over a coffee?”

Amelia was staggered by this complete change of events, her initial thought was to raise her middle finger and leave that party and never come back, but she also knew she had to give him the same second chance that he was willing to give her. A lot of things had been said and done, and the more she thought about it, the more she realised that neither of them could get past it until they’d heard each other’s story.   

                “Coffee? I don’t know about that. Is that your way of apologising? Forgive me if I don’t fall over with enthusiasm, I do not want to walk into another roasting from you.”

He smiled, “If for no other reason than our fathers were so close we should try and sort things out properly. There’s a great little Italian cafe,” he named a large street in town, it was a decent distance but her office, but she agreed she could be there by five.  

Sol grinned, a genuine happy face, just as another voice called his name.

                “Sol? Sol?” They both moved to the lounge entrance to see Helena stood on a small platform addressing the rest of the gathered crowds, craning to search for Sol. “Ah there he is!” She announced finally identifying him. “Ladies and gentleman, the man who lets us use his beautiful home for these wonderful launches, and of course our chairman, Sol Tanner!”

Amelia froze, this beautiful house was his. He was the owner? The host? The chairman of the publishing house? It all seemed unfathomable to her. Looking up, her eyes wide, mouth fallen open in surprise, she met his eyes and saw regret and embarrassment there. She could see he wanted to apologise, explain, but every pair of eyes were on him.

                “Monday, please!” he whispered before turning to the room and accepting the tumultuous applause.

Amelia staggered backwards, glad of the solid wall behind her to slump against. There was so much he hadn’t told, and all the time he’d been blaming her.

Monday? She thought furiously as she exited the building. Monday was a whole different scenario now. She had wanted to explain, tell him that none of it had been her fault, and hopefully hear his version of events. Now she wanted to vent her frustration, her anger on him. And at that moment it was off the Richter scale.

No, IF she met him on Monday, then at least this would be on her terms now. He’d had opportunity to tell her that he was hosting the party, that it was his house, his business, but he had chosen to argue with her, accuse her, and blame her. More fool him!