Lost and Found - 5

   5

Saturday 21^st October 2007

Amelia was again ruing her bad decisions as she boarded the midnight flight home from Milan. Milan, supposedly the centre of European fashion, and all she’d seen was the inside of her hotel room and three offices. Her inability to seal her deal before five pm meant she’d missed her commuter flight home, she was extremely lucky to get a second chance on this flight. The previous day when daydreams and recollections had hampered her clarity over the business deal she was working on, she’d decided to go home, not London home, but her father’s home.

She hadn’t been there more than five times since she was sixteen.

Sol’s words had echoed in her head constantly since she’d met him earlier in the week. Now she was convinced that Alex had something to do with her father turning up, she had to confront him. The last she’d heard he was working with her father, managing the estate, had that been his plan all the time?

Amelia ordered a coffee from the air steward and opened her Kindle; hopefully this flight would pass quickly.

Landing at four am, she got a cab home, by the time she showered and changed it was after six, so she left a note for Li and loaded her battered old car and headed out of the City.

The drive should take ninety minutes, but she was so tired she had to stop several times for strong takeaway coffees, it was over two hours later that the sight of the long undulating driveway set her teeth on edge. It was a long time since she’d been back here, a long time since she’d really honestly thought about it. But here it was - Chatford house and estate, the bane of her life.

It was still dark; heavy dew soaking the foliage and grass, a heavy mist blocked the horizon. Her father was always an early riser, so she had no qualms about climbing out of the car and knocking the heavy door. Even though this was her childhood home, she had no ties, emotional or otherwise to the building, and didn’t feel she could just open the door and walk in. Amelia didn’t even know if she had a key anymore.

The house had always been imposing, and now as she stood on the doorstep she felt more small and vulnerable than she ever had as a child. Taking a deep breath she banged the door, loudly.

She was about to step back to the car and give up when the door finally creaked open, stood there was a much frailer version of her father than she had ever envisaged. He stared wide-eyed for a long time before he finally spoke.

                “Amelia? Is that you?” he squinted, trying to work it out, he’d worn glasses when she’d lived here nearly ten years ago, but he wore none now.

                “Hi Dad, I needed to talk to you.”

He nodded and smiled, “you don’t need a reason to come here, whatever you think, it is your home!”

Shrugging, she wasn’t sure about that at all, she followed him into the hall. So many memories flooded back, but the strongest was that fateful night, the night she remembered as though it was yesterday.

After Alex had discovered them kissing that day, they both knew they had to be discreet. Sol was determined to play down the relationship. It had worked for at most one day. It was hard to hide things from her father, but it also helped them calm the heat of their relationship. Over the summer of that year, they spent days walking the grounds, picnicking on river banks, trips to the cinema. All the time Sol was the perfect gentleman. They held hands in private, shared some very promising and poorly controlled kisses, and he joked about how many cold showers he was taking. But he was determined that nothing more happen between them.

They’d spent the whole summer discussing what would happen once he started University. He was studying in London, ninety minutes away, but he’d come home often, she could also travel to him. It all seemed idealistic when they were sat in the fields of her home.  In reality she knew she’d miss him like crazy. It had been the pre accessible internet era, and mobile phones weren’t a common occurrence.

As the summer came to a close, the threat of University loomed. But also came Amelia’s sixteenth birthday. Her heavily absent father had made no plans for the day, just as well, as she had plans of her own. The only gift she wanted with more time with Sol. She’d planned it all out. A visit to the doctor got her put on the Pill, a prerequisite as she had no intentions of becoming a teenage mother; her favourite foods gave her a gourmet meal. All she needed now was the perfect guest to share it with.

The only barricade was her father. In the end, the saving grace was almost a fluke. Some horses escaped from one of the fields causing chaos, there were car accidents, fortunately no one died, and the horses all survived, but her father had to rush off and was embroiled in a legal wrangle, after calling his lawyer, he apologised for missing her birthday meal, then disappeared, leaving her all alone awaiting the gorgeous Sol.

Amelia was cooking her favourite spaghetti bolognaise, complete with garlic bread, salad and strawberries with fresh cream for dessert. She’d not had much experience of these things, and so hadn’t thought through the excess of garlic, the bloating of the pasta, she’d just gone with her heart.  She was wearing her new jeans, and a fairly risqué strapless top. For someone a bit geeky/tomboy, it was a huge worry, but she had gone with her instincts.

Sol had frozen mid step in the kitchen doorway when Amelia turned at a noise.

                “Hey Sol!” She hoped the smile was sexy, but she'd had to rely on seduction advice from fellow geek Danielle, the only person she knew to have had more than three dates with the same boy. She’d toned down the makeup advice, changed the menu AND the dress code, but she kept the looks, the banter and the atmosphere. “I’ve made dinner, but Alex is in town, my father’s out.”

He looked her up and down, “so it’s just the two of us?” Raising an eyebrow he broke into a smile.

She nodded, “all my favourite foods!”

Coming into the kitchen, Sol looked at the table, “what a shame cooking on your birthday, one of us should have done it...” He tailed off as he realised no one else gave enough of a damn to even be there on her birthday.”

 Sol had opened a couple of beers and handed her one as at her direction, he sat in the place she’d designated. The food tasted good, she was glad of that, but her nerves were starting to get the better of her.

After they’d eaten, Sol had sat back and laced his hands over his full stomach. “That was top notch Hot-Meal-ia!” He sighed then smiled, “time for your birthday present then?” Her eyes lit up and he smiled, “did you think I’d forgotten?”

                “I’m just not presumptuous!” she grinned as he pulled a large parcel out from under the table in a David Copperfield kind of gesture. Tearing open the parcel she gasped, “I LOVE it!” Waving the limited edition video of the Big Lebowski, they’d gone to see it in the cinema earlier in the year, and she didn’t even know the video was released yet. Leaping up, she dived around the table to give him a hug. Sol laughed as she landed in an undignified manner in his lap, and kissed her on the nose.

                “So you like the ‘Dude’ then?” And when she laughed, he kissed her again. They had so often got carried away with kisses, dragging themselves apart as things got too heated, but tonight she had no intention of that happening. But Sol pulled away before the kiss was even deepened. “I got you a secret present too!” He finally announced after rummaging in his back pocket. As he handed her a flat square velvet box, she felt her whole body shake, popping the lid, she gasped. Inside was a silver envelope, attached to a rather antique looking chain.

                “Here,” he whispered opening the small envelope.

She gasped as she saw there was a letter inside, pulling it out, she looked up at him tears in her eyes, inscribed into the square of silver were the words “I love you”.

                “Oh Sol!” Her eyes flicked from the necklace to his smiling face repeatedly before he pulled her into his arms for an earth shattering kiss. No one had ever given her such a thoughtful and special gift. She was torn by feeling overwhelmed at his thoughtfulness, and excited at the fact that he felt that way. She kept looking from the necklace up to his eyes, and then back down again.

                “I wanted you to have something to remind me of you, I do love you Meals, more than you know, but when I’m away it’s going to be hard...”

Amelia remembered how hard she grinned, just knowing that Sol loved her was enough, and it only confirmed that her decision for the evening had been right.

                “Amelia? Are you ok? I asked if you wanted a coffee!”

She shook her head, she’d spent so long in the past these last few days, she really needed to catch up, “I’d love a coffee thanks, black, no sugar.”

Her father nodded then disappeared into the hallway, in all her years she’d never known her father to boil a kettle, let alone make coffee, so she wasn’t surprised when he came back empty handed.

                “Martha my house keeper is up, she’s organising it.” He turned to her, “it’s good to see you Amelia, but I’m curious to know why you’ve come back, after all this time.”

She lowered herself into a chair, “I bumped into Sol last week...” She saw her father flinch, visibly recoil, but she carried on. “I’ve not set eyes on him since you dragged him from my room, what was it nine years ago? It was awkward as you could imagine. But he said something that I’ve not been able to get out of my mind. Why did you come to my room that night? You never had in the past, did you know? Did someone tell you we were there?”

She didn’t miss the flush of embarrassment that confirmed her suspicions, but he shrugged and claimed a poor memory. She’d not get any truth here, she knew that. So she started to ask a few questions, about his health, the estate. It was a stilted conversation, but they got as far as the coffee without too much difficulty.

Amelia had learned that his health wasn’t great, thought he was evasive over details. He didn’t mention Alex, but she had the deep suspicion that he was heavily involved in her father’s business, and as if on cue, the living room door burst open. Stood there looking rather angered, flustered, and flushed was her cousin.

He’d been a weedy child, skinny, blonde and pale; he was no different in adulthood. He must be twenty seven, he was several years older than her, but he was short, his eyes probably made her chin, not an easy trait for any man. And he had the small man attitude to accompany his stature.

                “Ah, so I see the deviant child had returned Maxwell, expecting a fatted calf no doubt?”

Amelia turned to glare at him, “Alex, I’m having a private conversation with my father, if you don’t mind.”

                “I do mind!” He came to place his hand on her father’s shoulder. “He’s not as well as he could be, and he really doesn’t need the trauma of you annoying him.”

Amelia now glared at her father; it was his job to defend her here, for a change.

                “Amelia’s my daughter Alex; I know you worry but its ok.”

With a scowl and a lot of reluctance the younger man left the room, and Amelia still looked at her father, “it was him wasn’t it. He was the poison in this house when I was young, and he still is.”

                “He’s been very good to me. I wouldn’t be able to manage this estate if it wasn’t for him.”

Amelia sighed, she couldn’t deny she’d abandoned her father, and in some way she was glad that someone was looking out for him, but the more she thought about things, the more conniving and manipulative she realised Alex was being.

                “I know I have no right to come back here and make demands, or even ask anything of you, I’m just...I want to get to the bottom of what happened back then Dad, you must understand that?”

The old man sighed, and Amelia realised how fragile he was, “I wish we’d not argued, I wish that man hadn’t divided us, but that’s all I regret. He had my unchecked hospitality...and what he did. Well that was the biggest abuse of that.”

                “I loved him Dad, I had for as long as I could remember, and he loved me. We were going to do so much together. I couldn’t function once you sent him away.”

Maxwell snorted, “You expected me to let him stay under my roof after that! You two...” he shook his head unable to verbalise the words, “if that wasn’t bad enough then he stole too.”

“He denies that Dad, and to be honest, he’s successful, popular...he has no reason to lie about that you know. Not now.”

                “I’m sorry love, we’re going to have to agree to disagree on that one, his father must turn in his grave at all he’s done, and I won’t forgive and I can’t forget.” When she sighed he added, “Does that mean I lose you too?”

Amelia shrugged, “it’s incidental, your hatred of him has been placed above any love for me for too long for that to change!”

Driving back down the large driveway, two things were evident, she was right that Sol had had a rough deal, he wasn’t as guilty as she’d spent the last ten years thinking, and wrong that she could make her father see sense.

Pulling over to the side of the road she called information and tried to get a number for Sol, she knew his address but it was unlisted. The best she got was a work number. Calling it she got no answer, it was Saturday lunchtime after all.  The drive back to London was exhausting and she was glad to find the flat empty. Crawling into her bed she fell asleep. Emotionally and physically exhausted.