Trying Not to Love You - Part Forty Five

Chapter Forty Five

She was a minx, bewitching; he’d never known anything like this. Sonny rolled to his side, pulling Martha into his arms. She smiled at him, and he groaned, “you are killing me here.”

She wriggled, her legs moving between his, breasts dragged against his chest, and her fingers grazing over his waist, then sighed.

Sonny felt his body respond, and all he could do was groan again, “you are insatiable Miss Mansell.”

She gave him a coy smile this time, “well, I’m learning from the man who never sleeps!”

Sonny laughed at that, pulling her towards him for a kiss, “I love you Martha.”

Grinning against his lips, she murmured, “I love you too.”

It was the greatest feeling, to feel the arms and legs of the woman who professed to you him wrap around him, mouth, tongue and fingers teasing. It was everything he’d ever dreamed of and more.

                “I’m going to see Ethan,” Martha breathed against Sonny’s cheek. She’d been woken by her alarm and wondered if she’d actually closed her eyes for more than a few minutes all night.

He nodded without opening his eyes.

                “I’m taking him to the National History Museum. Do you want to come?”

Sonny opened an eye, “do you want me disturbing your time with him?”

She shrugged, “he likes you...”

He rolled towards her, lifting his head and kissing her cheek, “then I’d love to.”

Martha managed to find pyjamas in the utility room, draped over the airer drying. Last night’s clothes at the breakfast table wouldn’t look good. She had to explain to her father before he found out. Sonny had disappeared upstairs for a shower, she decided to make some coffee, if they showered together they’d never get anywhere. She was perfecting the bacon for their sandwiches; she wanted to hit the road soon, when two arms encircled her from behind. She hadn’t heard Sonny enter the room, but her body instinctively responded to him.

                “Something smells wonderful,” he breathed, his lips on the soft skin of her neck.

                “Bacon!”

He shook his head, “you.”

She turned in his arms, “I haven’t even showered.”

He smiled as his lips descended to her, “you remind me of the last eight hours, you...champagne...and loving.”

With a giggle she leapt headlong into his kiss, lips joined, arms pulling each other close, her heart lurching against her chest as he managed to kiss her with such promise. Suddenly she remembered they were in her father’s kitchen and she pushed him away gently.

                “Not here,” she whispered, “not yet.”

                “Not here is right!” A voice boomed from behind them and they both turned to see Carl Mansell stood in the doorway arms folded, an angry look on his face.

Martha’s heart stopped in her chest, she was sure. She felt like a teenager all over again, all she craved was her father’s support, his pride, and all she could remember was the last time he looked at her like that, after she’s ‘embarrassed’ him in the pub with Scott.

                “Dad...I can explain.”

He shook his head, “the opportunity for that was before I found you like that.”

                “Carl,” Sonny began, “this is all my fault.”

Martha snapped her head around to look at him, “no it isn’t, don’t do that Carter.”

He smiled at her for a split second then they both turned back to Carl, who obviously wasn’t buying things.

                “Semantics. You’re both guests in my house...and this is how you repay me?!

Martha felt tears welling in her eyes; this was the last thing she wanted. This was the very reason she wanted to avoid anything with Sonny, but now that it started she wasn’t about to pick sides.

                “Dad, I’m not a teenager, and I didn’t think we were guests in this house. We have both strived to keep this farm safe and the restaurant running well for the last six months, we’ve both put our lives on hold for you. Is that all we are to you?”

She reached out and held Sonny’s hand, both watching Carl intently.

                “All I see is two people sneaking around and taking advantage.”

She was standing for this. Her father had compounded her guilt over all that had happened with Scott, he wasn’t doing it again.

                “You’ve got such a short memory Dad, only last week you were apologising for reading things wrongly when I broke up with Scott. You helped drive me away then, don’t do it again.”

                “I don’t want you to leave, I want you and Ethan here, but I can’t have you...” he glanced at Sonny and shook his head.

                “I’ll move out,” Sonny offered. “Martha means too much to me...”

Carl laughed, “and what the hell do you know about that? YOU?”

Martha stepped between the two men, determined that this wasn’t becoming some sort of insult slanging match, “go wait by the car Carter, this isn’t your fight. I’ll change and join you once I’ve spoken to my Dad. Ok?”

She could tell he wasn’t happy, but she pleaded with her eyes, and he gave a brisk nod, leaving the kitchen. With a sigh she turned back to her father, “he makes me feel good, strong...it’s a long time since anyone made me feel so loved.” She stared at him poignantly, “only you have ever made me feel like that, and we’re doing good at the moment Dad, after a lot of ups and downs. Don’t make me choose, please.” She moved to the door, “we’re going to London, but we’ll be back, and I want you to let me know what you think.”

                “I won’t have him in the house.”

She laughed, “ha ha. You’d do that? After everything he’s done for you. He’s the key; he’s the one who’ll take the reins when I go back to my son. If you push him away I’ve wasted the last six months on you...and you’re prolonging me being away from Ethan.”

She offered a smile, “I’m an adult Dad, and I’ve learned from my mistakes of the past. I’m not looking to sacrifice people close to me again, but I won’t be blackmailed into making decisions. Do you hear that?”

With that she left the kitchen.

They were halfway to London before Sonny broached the confrontation.

                “I didn’t think he’d be over the moon, the thought of me and you, but I didn’t think he’d be that against us.”

Martha sighed turning to him, loving that once again he drove her, she’d had no one to do these things for her until now, she’d been everything to everyone, now someone was caring for her. “I’m hoping it’s the shock of the situation, discovering us like that. Maybe if we spend the night here, away from him he’ll have time to think? Realise how things are.”

Sonny shrugged, “think I have to consider moving out.”

                “And what happens if Oldbury comes to the farm one night, what if he starts the vandalising again?”

Sonny shuddered, like that would happen. As the days passed he knew there was no chance of him returning. Not that he was intending to share that piece of information. “If he does there’s the video, proof of arson and with Gripper being on a charge for vandalising, then the chances are slim.”

Reaching out he put an arm around her shoulders, “it’ll be fine darling, I promise. We’ll sort things out.”

Within the hour they were hugging Ethan. As he pulled on his shoes excited at the thought of the museum, Stephanie approached. Martha didn’t want more confrontation, so she encouraged Sonny to take him out into the street, to wait for her there. Then she turned to her godmother.

                “He’s phoned you?”

Steph nodded, “he thinks like me that this isn’t right.”

Martha laughed, “what you two are conspiring to stop me being happy? Where’s all this resistance coming from?”

                “You’ve hardly got a good track record in picking men.”

Martha shook her head in disbelief, “you don’t even know him. How dare you?”

                “I know that you’re upsetting everyone close to you to be with him. Is that what you want?”

                “You are upset, quite rightly so because you know that there’s a chance that I could take Ethan away and you’ll miss him, I don’t want to do that. And Sonny isn’t a part of that, but I think he’s become an easy target. I don’t want things to change, he’s at home, I’ll be down here. There’s no easy option for the future, but I care about him, a lot, and it’s been a long time since I cared about anyone like this. I’d hope that my family would support me...not chastise me like a naughty teenager. Seems I was wrong.” She laughed, “and you can pass those sentiments on to my Dad.”

As she walked to the door Stephanie followed, “where are you going?”

Martha turned back, “I promised Ethan the National History Museum, we’re going to see dinosaurs. We will be back. I’m not childish; I’m not going to take him away. I appreciate all you’ve done for me. Without you I’d be lost. But I don’t think that gives you carte blanche to make decisions for me.”

With that she walked out.

The museum was busy, but never failed to deliver. The huge dinosaur stunned Ethan, and he walked from room to room mouth open in awe. Martha had always loved the animals there, the blue whale, the elk, the roaring hippopotamus. Martha led the pace through her favoured places, but it was a little while until she realised that Sonny was as enthralled as her son.

                “You’ve never been here before?”

He shook his head, “it’s amazing!”

With a smile she stopped, “well why the hell are we rushing?”

Hours later, Sonny carrying a sleeping Ethan, exhausted from the running around, into the cafe, Martha ordered them coffees and they sat at a small table watching the world go by. Sonny readjusted Ethan in his arms and reached for his mug.

                “Thanks for today Martha; I’ve had an amazing time.”

She smiled, “I can’t tell you the times I got lost here, spent more time than was healthy wandering around.” She stared wistfully into the distance. “When I was pregnant I came here most days, it took my mind off what was happening.”

He reached out and covered her hand, “it should be a time that you’re happy, I presume it wasn’t for you.”

She sighed, “I loved the feel of him growing inside me, the movements, and the kicks. I wasn’t sick for one moment, but I did it alone, that’s what hurt. At doctor’s appointments, everyone would be sat there couple’s pouring over their scan images, or the leaflets about birth plans.”  She shook her head to clear the bad mood, “when he arrived though none of that mattered.”

Sonny could sense her bravado and hated Oldbury more at the moment. Not that he deserved what had happened to him. It was four days since that fateful meet in the countryside. Nothing had happened, no body, no Oldbury. But the guilt was still there bubbling under the surface.

Then there was his father.

Now was not the time to think about that. He’d go see him when he’d got Martha back. He couldn’t put it off any longer, and he had to do it before anything else changed. Nothing was as it seemed anymore and he wanted to control things, that were imperative.

                “I’m buying you both dinner.” He insisted as they walked out into the cold but sunny winter morning.

Martha smiled, “I won’t object, as long as they do chips, hey Ethan?”

He nodded, sliding his hand into Sonny’s, “I like sausages with my chips.”

Laughing he swung the boy’s arm as they walked, “well it won’t be the Ritz then.”

It was dark when they got back to Stephanie’s house. The upstairs was in darkness; Martha presumed she must have gone out. Letting them into the basement, she turned the heating on, then made for the fridge, there was always a bottle of wine in there, and she needed it.

                “Will you stay here with us tonight?”

Sonny nodded, “I’m not in a rush to head back to the farm, and definitely not without you.”

As Ethan ran to retrieve a variety of toys to show Sonny, the man himself crossed the room to pull her into his arms. He was determined not to touch Martha in front of Ethan, it was all too soon, but it didn’t mean that he hadn’t wanted to all day.

                “You are so beautiful.” He murmured against her lips, as she sighed a response he took over, kissing her hard, passionately, only pulling back when he heard Ethan approaching the lounge.

They watched TV until it was time for Ethan’s bed, and then the two could cuddle up together, on the sofa and talk.

Not that Sonny was really in the mood for talking.  Any time away from Martha, left him time to think, and that was as taboo as talking. His mind constantly filled with negative things.

                “So,” she sighed, slumping beside him. “What are we going to watch?”

Sunday night viewing was never that inspirational in her view, so she looked to him for guidance. He shrugged and handed her the remote control, “not a lot. Though I think there’s a film on the other side. Not sure what.”

Martha nodded, sipping her wine as she contemplated what might be on. And it was only in that moment that she noticed what was actually on the TV, and it was both painful and unbelievable.

                “A body found in woodland twenty miles outside Milton Keynes earlier today has been identified as that of Scott Oldbury, a thirty year old business man from Northamptonshire. He died from a single bullet wound. Police are appealing for witnesses to this death and are asking for any information to be passed on by calling the number on the screen.”

Martha felt the room start to spin, nausea engulfing her, as she turned to Sonny she felt things go black.