Trying Not to Love You - Part Forty Four

Chapter Forty Four

Sonny drained his glass, he needed sleep, his head was banging and he felt like shit. Throwing money down on to the bar to pay for the drinks he’d consumed, he turned to leave just as Martha appeared in front of him.

                “Hey,” she offered.

He nodded an acknowledgment, “what do you want?”

She started slightly at his aggression, “I wanted to check you’re ok.”

He laughed, loudly, “sure?”

Nodding she reached out to touch his arm, “you walked off last night...I’ve been worried.”

The laugh that followed was sardonic, almost nasty, and he glared at her hand where she touched him, “be careful. You’re a bit close to me; I mean people might get the wrong idea. People might talk. How will you live with that?”

He was snapping at her but she wasn’t flinching she knew what he was doing, pushing her away, and she knew why. He was in a bad mood, and that was making it difficult for him to control his anger at her.

                “I was wrong to compare what we have to what I had with Scott, but it’s all I knew, and he humiliated me. I wanted to protect myself, not hurt you. Despite everything you think I’m not embarrassed, and I’m not ashamed.” She took a deep breath then murmured for his ears only, “I love you.”

Despite the words he tried to not believe, didn’t want to be sucked into this. As he looked up, trying to avoid her intense gaze she touched him, and he hadn’t expected that. Her hand cupped his cheek, a gentle caress as the other hand reached for his shoulder, then reaching up on tip toes she used that hand to guide his lips to hers.

For Sonny all the anger immediately left his body. He could feel her racing heart through his chest, her lips ignited him, and suddenly he wanted her and the rest of the world to know JUST how he felt about her. This woman, after all he’d said and done, was baring her soul, showing her world how she felt about him, she was willing to confront her worst nightmares - becoming the gossip of the town again, purely to please him. And it was the most powerful aphrodisiac. He responded to her lips, a gentle insistent kiss, his hands coming up to cup her face. After a few moments he pulled back to look at her, eyes closed, oblivious to the faces around them, and everyone was staring, he could feel the eyes boring into him.

Uncaring and willing to die to protect her, he dropped his lips to hers again.

Martha became aware of the whispers around her. She’d not thought beyond kissing him, showing him how she felt, and that was what this was. Suddenly it was all so clear. No one else mattered but the man kissing her with such a controlled passion that she wanted to drag him somewhere dark and quiet to coax the full passion out of him.

Pulling back she looked up at him with a smile, “get it now?”

She was rewarded by the boyish grin that had the ability to turn her insides to jelly.

                “I’m getting it all...” he murmured, his hand still holding onto her, keeping her eyes on his.

                “Everyone’s looking.” She whispered, then gave a grin, “and I don’t care.”

He laughed at that, “well there’ll be lots of questions wanting answers.”

Martha smiled, “there’s no one I want to speak to at this moment. No one but you.”

Glancing over her shoulder he studied the room, most people were now trying not to look, but he met one pair of eyes that were staring intently, humour filled eyes.

                “Lucy’s laughing.”

Martha sighed, “she guessed. Realised you weren’t sleeping in your bed. She told me that actions speak louder than words...and since you weren’t ready to talk...”

He smiled, “you decided to act?”

As he lowered his hands from her face, she found them with her hands, entwined their fingers, “buy me a drink?

                “Any time. As long as there are no conditions.”

She raised an eyebrow, “conditions?”

Smiling he reached down and brushed his lips over hers and sighed, “not liking the sound of talking.”

It was her turn to smile, “part of being in love is sharing Carter, but I’d never push you.”

Sonny stared at her, and she smiled, “I’ll have a gin and tonic. You sitting with me and Lucy?”

He held her hand as he turned to the bar and ordered drinks for the three of them, then walked with her to the table where Lucy sat grinning. 

Sonny handed her a sherry and smiled back, “you been stirring Missus?”

Lucy fluttered her eyelashes comically, “didn’t quite think you’d set the place alight like this!”

Martha sighed, “it was always going to be shit or bust.”

The three sat there in a companionable silence watching as the other patrons in the pub got back to their own gossip, their own news.

                “See,” Lucy patted Martha’s hand, “just a flash in the pan.”

Martha couldn’t help remember the last time she was the focus of the pub, and that hadn’t blown over for a very long time.

As the evening progressed Martha was surprised that they were still hot gossip. She was in a cubicle in the ladies toilets when she heard two women discussing her.

                “No shame, I mean what is she trying to prove?”

The other voice laughed, “be interesting to see how she copes when he moves on to his next conquest, after all she left for years the last time.”

Martha took several deep breaths, she was above this. Stepping out of the cubicle her head held high, she stared at the two women, women she knew well, from behind, meeting their eyes in the mirror they faced.

                “It wasn’t splitting up with him that made me leave, it was the threats he made to me and my father if I stayed around. As for Sonny,” just saying his first name made her heart lurch, “guess you’re just jealous that he’s all mine...because believe me ladies, all the rumours are true.” With that she rolled her eyes and fake fanned herself before walking out.

As she re-entered the lounge she froze. Stood there at the bar shouting at Sonny who had been buying them another drink, was Gripper. She’d not seen him since he was arrested at the farm the previous week, but there he was larger than life in the middle of the pub, threatening Sonny.

As she crossed to them, needing to diffuse things, Gripper was shouting.

                “Where he is? I KNOW you know something.”

Sonny was calm, almost serene, “all I know is that you were arrested for vandalising the farm, what happens to your ‘mate’ is nothing to do with me.”

                “Walk away Gripper.”

Both men spun around when she spoke. But instead of the nasty, arrogant man she remembered, Gripper was genuinely different, “Scott’s missing Martha, he went off on business two nights ago and never came back.”

She shrugged, “so what? When I was dating him he went to get a new tyre for his car and I didn’t see him for three weeks. Neither of us knows anything about him; in fact life is great because we haven’t seen him. Go find one of your cronies who’ll miss him like you do.”

When Gripper stepped back with an “I’ll get to the bottom of this,” as though he was some sort of Einstein, Martha turned to Sonny who was lounging against the bar.

                “Well look at you...fighting my battles again?”

She leaned across and swiped her lips against his, “OUR battles. Now, I’ve been thinking...we could walk Aunt Lucy home, get the bottle of champagne I had from the suppliers last week,” when his eyes widened she smiled, “came free with the dozen I ordered for a party, anyway, it’s in the fridge, perfect temperature...” Leaning closer, she whispered in his ear, “I cleaned your old room earlier, put a few home comforts there. Can’t have Lucy listening to what I’ve got planned for you.”

St that his eyes widened even further, and lifting an eyebrow he studied her for a moment, “are you trying to corrupt me Miss Mansell?”

She gave an elaborate wink, “amongst other things!”

As she strolled across to collect Lucy, Sonny watched her sashay, deliberately swinging her arse back and forth, knowing he was watching. Taking a deep breath he didn’t know whether to loosen his collar or trousers first. When Gripper had approached he’d panicked for a split second, the last thing he needed was confrontation. But fortunately the sassy, confident and bloody ravishing Martha had stepped in and wiped the floor with him. And he did realise that the last time that had happened he’d gone crazy, but he knew that had been frustration. The thought of her, of what she had planned...well it was enough to make him forget EVERYTHING but her, even the fact that Oldbury still being missing added to the likelihood that he was dead.

                “I can’t believe I tripped!” Lucy offered quietly as she reluctantly allowed Sonny to carry her the rest of the way home. She’d caught her foot on uneven ground and fallen heavily onto her knee. She’d wanted to walk, but Sonny had sensed her pain, instead he scooped her up into his arms.

She’d giggled all the way home since, the multiple sherries contributing to her laughter as well as the original fall. Martha was beside them laughing at their shenanigans when she spotted the light on at home, suddenly remembering her father’s poker game. Suddenly she wasn’t quite ready to tell him their news.

                “Shit!” She announced almost coming to a stop. “I forgot Dad’s hosting poker...shall we go hit a club? Have fun?”

                “A club? Now?” Sonny looked at her and she gave an awkward grimace, then a nod towards the outhouse.

Lucy laughed increasingly drunkenly, “she isn’t ready to tell Carl yet.”

                “Ah,” Sonny looked at Martha, “is that right?”

She shrugged, “bloody hell Lucy, you’re right in my head tonight, aren’t you?”

Sonny laughed, “I understand, ok. You stay here; I’ll take Lucy in, carry her upstairs. Then we can go somewhere.”

When he gave a theatrical wink, she knew that he truly did understand.

Not entering the house, she crossed the courtyard instead quietening the dogs as she entered the tack room and before rushing up the stairs, she deviated into the utility room and retrieved the afore mentioned champagne bottle. She had to tell her father about Sonny, and truly had no idea how he’d deal with it. But for now, she didn’t care, they’d faced enough hurdles that evening already. She’d tell him the following day.

Martha looked around the bedroom that had been dark and dingy whilst Sonny had lived there. Earlier she’d brought up some better bedding, a dark plum duvet, matching pillows and some of her favourite high thread count sheets.  A couple of dim lamps and a tiny CD player turned it into some sort of boudoir.

And there was no one nearby to hear them, or disturb them.

Sonny was still chuckling at drunk Lucy’s antics as he climbed the stairs to his old room two at a time. The old girl had become a true sport, their standoff months ago was exactly that, a long time ago. Now she was an ally, if he doubted it, then her words as he lowered her to her feet of, “lock the door to the feed room,” proved that even slightly intoxicated she was more than aware of exactly what was going on between them. And approved. He smiled, this family knew no bounds.

Throwing open the door he froze, hushed lighting made the room glow warmly, but it wasn’t that that he fixed on, though the bed with its’ new linen looked inviting; it wasn’t that that drew the breath from his lungs. Lying on the bed in the most provocative stance, arms above head, legs, crossed, half turned towards the door was Martha, wearing just underwear, but not any underwear, the black bra and knickers covered in cerise pink flamingos that had tormented his dreams since he’d seen them hanging on the airer months back.

                “You...” he breathed. But it was all he could manage as he forgot all his worries and flew across the room, throwing his clothes as he went.