Trying Not to Love You - Part Thirty Five

A/N Not getting a great deal of feedback on this story, basically it's already as long as my usual stories and I reckon it's only half way through...maybe a bit more than that. There are a lot of sub-plots happening, and due to happen, but am wondering whether people think it would be better as a more simple romance? 

Are people liking these characters? Am thinking this might be the book I take further, so any feedback is MOST welcome. Thanks for reading, MZ

Chapter Thirty Five

An angry and disappointed Martha made for a very efficient one, by the time he emerged from the office she was already at the front door saying goodbye to the last stragglers and of course Sam who was officially finishing her shift.

When she turned around Sonny felt a bolt of lust at the expression on her face, she was livid, but confused, the signs of attraction, desire that he’d witnessed earlier were still there, and instead of arguing or shouting as expected, she dropped her eyes and made for the back of the restaurant.

                “Is that it?” He goaded her, “is that all you’re giving this?”

She shook her head, her eyes still averted, “I’ve nothing to say to you.”

He leaned on the bar and watched her try to keep busy, for the second time he’d tried to confront what was happening between them, and for the second time she was in denial, running away from him. He realised that Ethan had been a huge factor initially, but he knew about him now, he understood all that entailed, and he also realised that the future wasn’t easy...not whilst Oldbury was in town, but that was about to change, he knew that too. He had to make her see that his future contained her.

But for now he was happy watching her, knowing that she was in a quandary over her feelings for him. She’d pushed him away so much, but he had never believed that their night together was a mistake, and her actions before tonight had only reinforced that. Then earlier, when he’d kissed her, it was there all over again, tension, desire and uncontrollable love. He smiled, because that was what it was.

                “Are you just going to stand there and not help at all?”

The snap of her voice caused him to focus on her. He gave a shrug, then watched as anger erupted from her.

                “We’re closed tomorrow, and I want this place sorted so I can get on with things, is that a lot to ask?”

He shrugged again and it had the required result of her storming across the room to him, squaring up, “what is wrong with you?”

He gave a slight smile, then closed the pace between them, and her protests and anger died on her lips as his mouth found hers.  And it was there, instantly, that fire that he’d never experienced until she walked into his life.

Martha’s hands clawed at him, she clung on to him as their kiss ignited everything, Sonny controlled her mouth, savouring it, devouring it, and when she let out a moan, he trailed his lips down to her exposed throat, her head thrown back in rapture. He lifted his head, wanting to savour that, her face, her desire...those moments when she couldn’t hide from him. She opened her eyes and he could see the indecision that still sat there. She wanted this, but she was scared of it, with a smile, he devoured her lips once more.

Her hands were the first ones to push at his jacket, throwing it back over his shoulders, he took a moment to throw it to the floor, then his hands returned to her, drawing her close, holding her body against him. His hands found the zipper to her dress, pulling it down to her waist, and his warm fingers slid over the smoothness of her bare skin. And that elicited a moan, a sigh against his lips.

Sonny was desperately hungry, every nuance, every subtle change drove his unquenchable ardour up a notch. A noise from the street reminded how exposed they were, anyone passing would see them, him jacket off, her dress half open, so, hands still inside the back of the open dress, he nudged her forcibly backwards to the office.

As the door closed behind them Martha panicked for a moment, and she tried to pull herself free of his drugging presence, but she couldn’t. His lips worried at hers, teasing, tasting...as his hands moved to her shoulders, dragging the sleeves of her dress down over her arms. For a moment she was stuck, the half tugged down dress forcing her arms to her side. She looked up at Sonny and he had that same look in his eyes, the one he’d had when he’d come into the office, the one when he’d stalked across the room to claim her. It made her feel like a delicious meal that he wanted to consume, and it was the greatest aphrodisiac, she’d never felt so desired, so wanted, so beautiful as she did when he looked at her like that.

And it made her compliant, she let him slide the dress down over her arms, as his smiling lips headed for her collar bone, to nibble and tease as those same hands started to pull the skirt up over the smoothness of her stockings.

Martha suddenly needed to feel him, to taste him, to feel his warm body naked against hers. she made light work of the tie, but to reach for the shirt buttons she had to dislodge his mouth from her shoulder, and that meant that he devoured her all over again, lips on hers, distracting her from the task in hand.

Eventually she got buttons open and her hands found his smooth chest, running up to his shoulder, baring more and more of him as she went.

Giving a little laugh, Sonny lifted his head to look at her, then helped her free him of his shirt, tossing it onto the floor beside them. Lowering to her deep office chair, he pulled her astride his lap, her hitched up skirt allowed the movement and her bare inner thighs felt the roughness of his suit, and the hardness of his desire for her.

Groaning, he once again ran his hands over her thighs, loving the lace tops to the holdup stockings, but his hands went further, lifting the skirt up over her buttocks, baring her. Then she was caressing his chest, reaching for the waist of his trousers, fighting to bare as much of him  as she could.

He had a condom in his trousers...for a moment she wondered if he’d planned it, if she’d fallen into some form of trap, but then she also knew that he wanted this, that to him things were far simpler, that there was no consequence that he was scared of, that he wanted her with everything in him. But, once he’d reached between them, rolled it on, he pulled her onto him, and any fragment of control she had erupted in the most amazing sensation of being chest to chest, mouth to mouth, and more importantly frantically, and uncontrollably joined, fused, and the pleasure erupted in wave after wave.

The sigh of “Oh Sonny,” was music to his ears, and he longed to hear his name as a breath on her lips on a more frequent basis than this, but at that moment there was only the here and now, and that involved her pliant and willing in his arms, and for now that was all he had, and he had to make the most of it.

Slumping against him, her head buried in his neck she fought to regain her breath, when Sonny touched her she lost control, it was official. All her ideas, thoughts, her reasoning all disappeared, and she couldn’t be disappointed with that, he was still inside her, they were still joined and he she had that desperate need to bolt, that was until Sonny’s arms lifted to her spine, pulling her closer to him, and his lips connected with her forehead.

                “I love you Martha, even though you fight this, fight me.”

She sighed, for a moment she wanted to do anything but fight, instead, she relaxed against him. When she lifted her head from his neck, he placed his cheek against hers, “that was amazing.”

Martha sighed, she didn’t want to play it down, but she still didn’t believe this was going anywhere, in a few weeks she’d be gone, away from this place. But for now, she wanted to enjoy her time with him, enjoy him loving her. It had been such al long time since she’d been loved like this, then she took a breath, no, she’d never been loved like this, never been desired, never had a man look at her like he did, or touch her like he did. She didn’t doubt his  devotion, and she wished life was simple, but it wasn’t and there were bigger threats to her future that he could deal with, and that was the cut and the thrust of it.

                “I’m the one being realistic Carter.”

He sighed, “look, this is special, me and you. Can’t you see that?”

As she opened her mouth to launch a riposte, he placed his lips over hers once more and relit the paths of heat and desire that were still fading. Eventually he pulled back, placed his forehead on hers and stared at her. “Will you please just trust me?”

With a sigh, she lifted her body from his, pulling the sleeves of her dress up as the other hand pushed her skirt down, “there’s more to life than me and you.”

Trying to dress herself she made for the door out of the office, and once again by the time he joined her in the restaurant, his shirt open and untucked, his trousers fastened but not his belt, eh saw her rushing to relay tables at the far end of the room. She was on a mission to leave this place immaculate, and he knew how important her time with Ethan was, hell he was looking forward to seeing the little monkey, he couldn’t imagine how desperate she was.

That aside he wasn’t about to give up, to let her once again push him away, belittle him and his role in her life.

Moving to the bar he found the bottle of brandy and poured a finger’s worth into two glasses, then placing one on the bar for her, he took a slug of his.

It was a while before she glanced in his direction and he hated that there were tears in her eyes, “you crying?”

                “Can’t you help me?”

He shook his head and folded his arms, “I’m discovering that I’ve got infinite patience when it comes to you, and I’m in no rush to walk out those doors until you promise to not turn your back on me.”

Giving a scowl, she returned to the job in hand, scrubbing the table much more harshly than was necessary. Sonny stood there watching her from a distance wondering how the hell this was going to play out.

                “You can’t ignore me forever Martha, we are sleeping in the same house. We can do this now, or when we get back to the farm...the choice is yours.”

Her head snapped up, “do what? There’s nothing ‘to do’ so get over it Sonny Carter.”

He shook his head, “no, I won’t let you do this, brush it off. In there,” he pointed to the office door, “we did it again...” he saw her roll her eyes and added quickly, “I don’t mean sex...because it was MORE than that. I am not willing to give up on the first person I’ve ever loved. You may think you feel different, but I wasn’t asleep in there. It was the same for you.”

She snatched for the brandy that he’d pushed towards her and sipped it before cradling the glass in her hand, “it wasn’t anything more than sex Carter, and I don’t see why we can’t just take this as it is. A bit of fun, a quick encounter.”

                “That is NOT how it is Martha,” his voice cracked with the emotion, “why the HELL are you keeping on with this pretence. I’m getting sick and tired of you ignoring me, ignoring this.”

Martha shook her head, walking away from him, “I have more to worry about than just you...”

He laughed, “and it all goes back to the spoilt little girl who takes what she wants and doesn’t care about anyone else.”

                “I care about lots of people, and I am NOT spoilt.” She had turned to square up to him, and saw the flash in his eyes. Within seconds he was there in front of her.

                “Why can’t you care about me?”

Martha threw back her head and sighed, when she looked back at him she had tears in her eyes again, “I DO care about you. TOO much. That’s the point, don’t you get it? All I want is to leave here in a few weeks, go back to my little boy and be a mother. DO you have ANY idea what it’s like to be away from him?”

When he shook his head she added, “it kills me...slowly...every day. In a few weeks I’ll be gone, and we won’t see each other. We can’t start something we can’t finish; I’m not strong enough for that, I’m not strong enough for you.”

He laughed, “you are the strongest most composed person I have ever met, you spend every day caring for everyone else. But who cares for Martha? When do you put yourself first?”

He stepped towards her, as she offered, “I need you here, with Dad, if I leave...”

                “Look, Martha, I want to see where this goes, I’ve never felt like this before, never wanted someone with the desperation I have for you. But I know that Ethan is the most important thing to you. I will do everything in my power to get you home to him as soon as is humanely possible, but I can’t ignore that I burn for you, that I want you, that you feel exactly the same way.”

He held his hands out towards her knowing that this was the most important pitch of his life, “please, just say you’ll relax, try us out, and see where we go. I guarantee that even if you hate me tomorrow I’ll still uphold my end of the bargain, I will help you, I’ll do anything for you.”

Martha looked from his earnest face to his open palms and for a moment wanted to run away, then he opened his mouth and completed the hard sell, “I love you Martha, I would never do anything to hurt you or anyone you care about. You have to believe that. Your happiness is all I want.”

With a sigh she placed her hands in his, knowing that this had far deeper meaning than it appeared, but as a brilliant smile swept across his face, her heart lurched, then all emotions were lost as his lips found hers again.