Trying Not to Love You - Part Forty

Chapter Forty

Lucy was great company, not that Sonny was surprised, she’d changed a lot over the last few months. After buying her a drink, she’d talked him into a game of cribbage, something he wasn’t overly confident in. On the other hand, she was a shark, by the time she won the third consecutive game quite a crowd had gathered to see her demolish cocky over confident Sonny. Sitting back he shook his head, “you are too good!”

Lucy smiled, “can I have that in writing?”

Laughing he stood, “another?” He pointed to her glass and she nodded.

Returning with the drinks he sat opposite her, by now the crowd and dispersed. Taking a slug of his vodka he looked at the older woman, “you reckon they’re ok?”

She nodded, “been a long time coming, they’ve both been creeping around what happened with Scott, hopefully now they’ll get it out in the open. Be honest.”

He sighed, and she looked up, “he won’t want to hear it.”

Lucy smiled, “life isn’t all about the happy bits, neither are families.”

Sonny pondered that for a moment, wondering if there were any happy bits at all from his family memories, none that he could remember. Lucy patted his hand and when he looked at her she smiled, “sometimes it’s even harder than that.”

With an awkward laugh, he reached for his drink, he wasn’t about to be reduced to tears by this woman, here, in the pub.

                “We going to risk heading back?”

When she nodded, he offered her an arm and they strolled back to the farmhouse.

Martha was in her usual place at the kitchen table when the two burst in to the house giggling. She looked up and laughed, “when did you two become best buddies?”

Sonny smiled, walking over to her, “her bark is worse than her bite. You ok?” He placed a hand on her shoulder.

She nodded, “yeah, good. Dad’s just gone up to check on Ethan.”

Lucy smiled, “well I’m glad he’s got his head out of his arse at last!” They both laughed at that, then she announced it was way past her bedtime.

As they were left alone, Sonny still stood next to her, he nodded with his head, asking her to stand, “come here.”

With a soft smile she stood, and his hand caressed her jaw as he pulled her lips to his. As kisses went it was chaste, neither wanted to be discovered, but it was also supportive, caring, understanding. That kiss caused a swell in her chest, a surge in her heart. Sonny was dangerous, but not in the way everyone else imagined, he was creeping in to her heart, and with every inch she let him in, the ability to hurt her grew.

Her hand was on his chest and she could feel the steady beat on his heart through his t-shirt. Eventually they pulled apart, breathless, speechless, eyes locked. It meant that they jumped apart as though they were burned when the door started to open. Both looked up to see Carl stood there.

Sonny crossed the kitchen to him immediately and extended a hand, “sorry for interfering earlier.”

Carl laughed and pulled him into a bear hug, “took someone telling what an idiot I was being, just never thought it’d be Lucy!” As Sonny reciprocated the hug, he added, “and I’m sorry for what I said to you, I had no right to lash out like that.”

Sonny shrugged, “nothing you said was wrong. Anyway, it’s done. Who’s for a drink?”

Carl shook his head, “not me. I’ve had a wild weekend, and now I’ve promised my grandson he can ride on a tractor tomorrow morning, early!” He sighed, “my grandson. Who’d have thought it?”

With that he left them.

Sonny made for the cupboard and pulled out a bottle of brandy, “night cap?”

When she nodded he poured two glasses and walked over to her, handing her one. As she sipped it, he pulled her into his body and she relaxed against him, letting him take the stress. They stood there for a moment, head against his chest, his lips on her head, just breathing in the moment.

                “What happens now?”  

Martha looked up at him, “you mean tomorrow?”

He smiled, swiping a kiss on her lips, “tomorrow, the next day...”

Sighing she reached up and placed her hand on his jaw, “I want you...”

                “I sense a ‘but’.”

Martha smiled, “I’m not ready to front this out, not after this weekend. Can we just keep things as they are?”

She could feel him tense as he formulated a reply, “this isn’t shady, dirty...you are what I want, and I want everyone to know about it. I’m not ashamed.”

                “I’m not ashamed, never ashamed.” She looked at him imploringly, “I just need to compartmentalise, I’ve got Dad, Ethan...I can’t add more complications.”

He turned her to face him, “that’s what I am? A complication?”

Martha sighed, “no, you - you’re the most easy thing, I promise. That’s why I know you can give me this time. I have so much to deal with.”

He loved that she trusted him, that she was confident about him, but he didn’t want to hide, he wasn’t a teenager, and he wanted the world to know that he loved her, that he was lucky enough to have found her.  Then he thought of the week ahead, if he got through this, Oldbury would be out of the equation, THEN they could re-evaluate everything.

They had another brandy, sitting together in some sort of companionable silence, but as they climbed the stairs for bed, Sonny took her hand and despite her protests led her into his room.

The house was quiet without the little monkey and the noise he seemed to create. But for Sonny he was glad that Martha and Ethan were away - she’d decided to spend a little time making it good with Stephanie after their argument. It gave Sonny time to finalise his plans for Thursday, the drop, or the catch, whichever way you looked at it.

And that involved being summoned to London to Marcus. He hadn’t been there for weeks, and other than this hanging over his head like a guillotine blade, he had managed to forget his decidedly dodgy past. He was getting used to managing the restaurant, earning a regular salary, being a nine to five man. He never thought he would, but then he never thought that anyone would rescue him, see the good in him and give him the opportunities that Carl and Martha had. He had to be free of this world for them. They didn’t need him dragging them into some gangland feud.

As always, Marcus was sat behind a huge desk in his office. When Sonny was shown in he looked up at him and smiled, “so, you’re on schedule.”

Sonny nodded lowering himself into the seat opposite, not waiting to be invited, “it’s all going to plan. Oldbury is involved, he wants a part of the money, his gopher is on remand, conveniently got himself arrested. So yep, it’s all going to plan.”

Marcus nodded knowingly, “and you?”

                “I’ll be in the distance, making sure it all goes to plan.”

The older man nodded again, “good. Then I’ll make sure that as soon as Oldbury is where I want him, you’ll get this.”

He held up a package, “the money I promised you, cash as requested. And this...” he indicated a large envelope on his desk. “This is what I really promised you. Information.”

Sonny was fed up with this fishing, constantly having this carrot dangled in his path, “not sure I’m that bothered anymore.”

Marcus laughed, “I hear you’ve gone straight.”

sonny felt his heckles rise, the last thing he needed was Marcus knowing where he was, what he was doing, and ok course anything about Martha, she was not part of this. “You need to leave things.”

Marcus laughed, “are you threatening me?”

Sonny shook his head, “no. I just don’t need bad things happening to the people who’ve been good to me.”

                “Not sure you’ve done enough to be completely absolved Carter, you’re an asset.”

With a sigh he rolled his eyes, “we’ve always been honest, and you agreed with my demands. I need to be released, after this.”

Marcus laughed, “I really can’t tempt you to stay? Be my right hand man?”

Sonny ran a hand over his tired face, “as appealing as that sounds, I’m enjoying my time as a nine to fiver, I’m not looking to change that.”

Marcus leaned forward, “I like you Carter, I like you a lot, always did. Appreciated your work from afar. You are right, I am a man of my word, I will reluctantly let you go, but if domestic bliss and your regular salary bore you, or you get fed up with home cooking and Sunday afternoons in front of the TV, promise you’ll come back to me first?”

He wouldn’t get bored, the thought of mundane life appealed SO much, as long as it’s with Martha, he ignored that voice, the last thing he needed was Marcus Thomas getting wind of his obsession with her. Instead he smiled, “that’s a deal.”

Marcus reached out a hand, offering it to Sonny, and Sonny took it and shook it genially, it all seemed a little easy, maybe too easy. But Sonny was too keen to get out of there to over process it.

After a busy night in the restaurant, Sonny was glad to get back to the farm, and into bed. It had been a strange day, a long day. He missed Martha; she was his oasis in the ridiculous desert of his life. But she was still in London, and there was nothing he could do about that.

Stripping off in the bathroom he stood under the hot needles of the shower and relaxed, let the heat and pressure ease away his tensions. When two hands reached around his body, teasing his skin, he almost jumped out of his skin, spinning around he gasped at the sight of Martha, as naked as him, climbing into the steamy cubicle with him.

                “I thought you were in London,” he breathed as her arms moved up around his neck.

She gave her most seductive smile, pressing her body up to his and sighed, “I missed you too much. Not complaining are you?”

Lifting her against him her feet leaving the floor, he shook his head, “oh no, I am definitely not complaining.” Her legs wrapped around his waist and he pressed her spine up against the tiles, mashing the length of their bodies together, anything BUT complaining!”

They were so cautious of being quiet, about not alerting Lucy or her father to their trysts, but it wasn’t easy. As Sonny handed her a towel, helped her out of the shower, he pointed at his shoulder and the teeth marks that peppered his shoulder, a reminder of her passion.

When she blushed, he laughed, “you can’t see the back of your shoulder; I promise you weren’t the only one struggling to hold on.”

Sonny loved that she was now a lot more confident in front of him, proud and sassy in her naked form.

They crept out of the bathroom one at a time, and then met up in her bedroom where they spent the night deliciously entwined. And despite Ethan not being under the same roof, the end was suddenly in sight. She’d miss Sonny, when she was gone, they could try a long distance relationship maybe, she wasn’t sure he’d manage, and she couldn’t think that far ahead, all she could think of was the here and now, Sonny’s strong arms holding her tight, his lips a constant fixture on her forehead, and his strong heartbeat flush against hers.