Trying Not to Love You - Part Forty Nine

Chapter Forty Nine

Martha was regretting dragging Ethan across the town, his small legs were struggling. But they persevered. As they crossed the main road, heading to the road that led out to the Oldbury house, Martha spotted James and his sister coming out of the corner shop across from the pub, and offered an awkward smile. Both he and Jade had their eyes trained on her, and she sighed, the last time she’d seen them both had been in the pub on the weekend when she’d kissed Sonny. Looking down to her left she smiled at the happy Ethan, and realised she was giving REAL value for money to them.

Giving them a genial wave, she gripped Ethan’s hand harder, and dragged him along the road, hoping her plastered on smile looked genuine. Then she let out the breath that she hadn’t realised she was holding. Striding towards her was Sonny. He was wearing his running gear and was sporting a dark bruise to his jaw. As his eyes flicked from James and Jade, the repulsion faded and he lit up as he saw her walking towards him.

With a sigh of relief that he hadn’t run away, she stopped in her tracks, and within seconds he was beside her, high-fiving Ethan then pulling her into his arms for a dramatic kiss that told her JUST how much he’d missed her.

                “I thought you’d gone,” she offered hating that tears threatened her eyes.

He shook his head vehemently, “never. I’d not do that to you.” Lifting his head he smiled at her, “breakfast?” He nodded to the café at the end of the road.

                “We’ve eaten, but I can always go for another coffee and something sweet.”

Nodding he threw an arm around her shoulder, “my treat. Come on squirt, you want a doughnut?”

Sonny was smiling contentedly as he threw open the cafe door, he didn’t need Michael Oldbury, he had Martha. As she made for a table, he smiled at Maggie behind the counter.

                “Hi Maggie,” can I get a couple of coffees, a coke, your sugariest doughnut, and a full English for me.”

She looked up and smiled, “no problem, haven’t seen you in here for ages Sonny.”
When he’d moved to town he ate in the cafe as often as he visited the bookies or the pub, “love of a good woman!” He announced.

Maggie glanced past him to Martha then smiled again, “lucky you.”

He turned to see what she did, Martha sitting Ethan into a seat, her smile breaking into a laugh that lit the whole room, then she glanced up at him and met his eyes and he felt a jolt of love rip him apart. He had to be honest with her about everything. That was essential, and he had to do it now.

As they ate, he apologised for his absence, then started on the truth, that Gripper had caught him off guard, knocked him out, and that Oldbury Senior had put him up for the night. Martha looked stunned beside him, unable to believe that a man grieving would be so genial. If only she knew! If only HE knew.

                “So, it was a strange one. I should have called. But I was bloody unconscious. Do you forgive me?”

Martha watched as he dug into his breakfast, a calmness descending over him once she nodded her forgiveness. The fear, the pain at losing him, at the thought of him running away was fading, but she still had the trip to visit Michael Oldbury, to introduce Ethan to his grandfather. And for a lot of reasons she wasn’t looking forward to it.

Ethan was tugging at her sleeve, and when she looked down at him he had a face full of sugar, and that made her laugh. She had to deal with a lot of things over the next few days, but Ethan and Sonny were going to make it all worthwhile.

Reaching out she grabbed for Sonny’s hand, “we should go on holiday, me, you and Ethan. Somewhere away from prying eyes.”

Sonny nodded at that, “the thought of you in a bikini is enough to make me agree to anything, and I mean anything. But, there’s the restaurant, the farm, and we have to sort things out with your dad. Ok?”

He watched her sigh, a zillion emotions cross her face, and grinning he reached for her hand, “this isn’t dirty or taboo, I love you, and that can’t be wrong. No one is going to drag us down, ok?” He lifted her hand and kissed the back of it, and even that gesture made her nerve endings jangle.

Giving a nod she tried to smile and he appreciated her attempts at bravado, “I wish it could be as easy as you say.”

                “It’ll be fine, everyone loves you Martha, nothing will change that. Where are you going now anyway? You’re up and about early.”

She offered an awkward smile, “we’re going to see Ethan’s other grandfather. They’ve never met.” She paused, “do you think it’s bad taste that I take him so close to Scott...” she couldn’t say the word ‘dead’.

He smiled, “I think Ethan would make any hardship worthwhile, honestly.”

As he watched her go, Sonny sighed, trouble, that was what he was sensing. With a groan he turned towards the farm and a confrontation with Carl.

                “Wow!” Ethan sighed as they walked up the driveway to the huge imposing house. “Is that where my granddad lives?”

Martha squeezed his hand, “yep, your other granddad.”

He looked up at her, “and my dad?”

She squatted down beside him, “your dad died darling, you know that, he’s in heaven with my mother and everyone else who dies.”

Martha swallowed, if ever there was someone who didn’t deserve to make it to some post life paradise it was him, but that was what she’d agreed to tell him if he ever asked. The counsellors she saw after Ethan were born had advised her that painting a bleak picture of his father wasn’t a good idea; death seemed the easiest, fairest option.

He nodded, accepting as he always did, and skipped up the driveway.

Derek, Michael’s employee opened the door, “ahh Martha, and this must be?”

Ethan stood beside her proudly, “I’m Ethan.”

                “Ahh,” Derek smiled, “Mr Oldbury’s not here. He’s at the police station.”

Martha grimaced, “how is he coping?”

Derek sighed, “he was his son, despite everything, he was all he had.”

She nodded, “will you let him know WE called.” She emphasised the we, then handed him her phone number, “in case he doesn’t have it.”

The trip back to the house took longer than the trip out, they passed the park and so Ethan had to ride every swing and slide, then there was the shop, and sweets - he loved the selection there, and couldn’t make up his mind what to have.  Finally with a bag of bright red sweets, they made for the path to the farm, ignoring James who was outside the pub and was watching them again. She’d deal with people finding out about Ethan when she was ready, and not before.

Ethan skipped along the path pointing at trees; the animals in the distance, everything about the farm seemed to excite him.  It was so thrilling to see him so happy that she was smiling when they both arrived back at the farmyard.

As they approached the back door it swung open and Lucy stood there looking anxious.

                “What’s up Aunty Luce?”

She glanced nervously over her shoulder, “the police...they’ve taken Sonny to the police station, your father is furious.”

Martha swallowed the anxiety rising in her throat, “did they ask about me? I mean I’m his ex, I called the police on Gripper last week.”

Lucy shrugged, “I don’t know, all I know is they came and took him away.”

                “Did Dad speak to him first?”

Lucy gave an awkward shrug, then opened the back door allowing them all into the house.

It was the longest wait of her life, she baked cookies with Ethan, read his favourite book, and they even watched Finding Nemo in its entirety. Her father turned up mid afternoon and he took Ethan off to feed the chickens without making as much as eye contact with his daughter, leaving her furious.

                “Mum!” Ethan disturbed her from her distractions in the kitchen. “Look at this!”

She glanced up to see he was precariously carrying a basket full of eggs.

                “Wow! Is this what we’re having for breakfast?”

He nodded as she took the eggs, “with soldiers?”

                “Of course, how else would we eat them?” She ruffled his hair, “you ready for a bath? Aunt Lucy said she’s reading you Horrid Henry before bed?”

Ethan laughed, “she does ALL the voices!”

Ethan’s biggest complaint was that Stephanie didn’t do any animated voices, much to his chagrin, so Aunt Lucy was like a dream come true to him.

An hour later she came down the stairs, chuckling at the sounds of Lucy reading about Horrid Henry and Perfect Peter in her best and most characterised voice. In the kitchen her father was watching his hands, and she sighed, this had been coming all day.

                “SO are you going to ignore me for the rest of the week?”

She spotted the tension increase in his shoulders, but other than that there was no response.

                “Dad! Are you keeping this going?”

He turned slowly, “I lost you Martha, for five years because I let you get into a relationship that was destructive with a man who was a glorified thug.  I also didn’t know about my grandson, my only grandson because of that. Now you want me to sit back and watch it happen again? You expect me to condone you ruining your life all over again.”

She sighed, “no Dad, I don’t expect that. I gave up six months of my own son to come back here and help you, I lost my job, abandoned my life to come here and keep your life up and running. Life is full of sacrifices, and whether or not Sonny is the right man for me is incidental. He’s MY choice, and if I stayed away for five years because I knew it was right, what makes you think I’ll give up what I want in this situation because you tell me it’s right.”

He groaned, “I don’t want to tell you what to do, but Sonny, he’s the same as Scott. Trouble, he’ll drag you into trouble and I’m not well enough to pull you out of it.”

She shook her head, “not Sonny Dad. He’s not the same, you know that. He loves being part of this family, he loves me, you, Ethan, even Lucy. He’s not as people see him, you know that, YOU were the one who had confidence in him. How do you think it must feel to him to have you take him in, make him believe in all you said, only for you to pull the rug from under him. If we’re talking about integrity then you need to look in your mirror.”

He studied her as she moved around the kitchen, feeling his eyes watch her, but it was a while until he said, “the police have taken him...”

She turned around and snapped, “what and that makes him guilty? You think HE killed Scott?” When her father looked a little embarrassed, she added, “you think the man we’ve shared out home with for months is capable of murder?”

Shaking her head she move to the fridge and pulled out a bottle of wine, filling a glass, “Dad, he went to prison for being in a fight, so he’s had a hard life till now, that does not make him a suspect in this. If you think that he is, then I’m not sure I want to stay here with you.”

Her father’s eyes widened, “are you threatening me?”

She shook her head, “no, I just want to live my life and be surrounded by the people I care for, no one should make me choose who I share my life with.”

                “I don’t like this, I worry about you...”

She shook her head, “don’t make this about me, this is purely you. You don’t want to feel responsible if things go wrong. It won’t, but if it does, then I’ll deal with it. I've grown up so much since Scott, I’m protecting Ethan from pain and hurt in the same way you want to protect me, I can understand why you are worried, but I’m not the person that I was, I’m not the person who lived in fear of Scott. And I’m insulted that you’d think that I was.”

It left her father speechless, but she wasn’t about to give in to his dictating.

As she was clearing up the dishes, her father still formulating a response beside her, headlights shone across the yard. Rushing to the window, she saw a police car stop near the door and a tired and pale Sonny got out. With a nod and a wave, he watched the car depart. When he turned back towards the house she was in front of him, wrapping her arms around him with relief.

Sonny had been through hell, the questions, the insinuations, he knew how the police worked, trying to confuse him, trick him, looking for any chink in his story, fortunately he had been consistent, he’d played down his friendship with Johnny, gave his alibi - them having a fight in the pub, then answered questions all over again until they corroborated his stories, had his alibi confirmed by the people he’d reported were at the pub that night. They’d reluctantly let him go, after rehashing his past convictions and his incarceration.

The offer of a lift home surprised him, but after getting back from his breakfast with Martha and Ethan, the police had been waiting. He had gone without them with nothing more than his phone, no money, no food. He was starving, but as soon as Martha wrapped her arms around him he forgot that.

                “You ok?” she breathed against his neck.

Sonny sighed, “I am now.”

                “Hope you’re hungry, I made sausage casserole...your favourite.”

He groaned, “you are amazing. Can I get a shower first?”

She nodded as his lips found hers in a sweet, desperate kiss. As their lips entwined, he clung to her like his life depended on it, and in that moment, it felt as though it did.

                “Shower,” she pushed him gently, “then after dinner if you’re up to it we can go to the pub? I’m not up to arguing with my dad again. Ok?”

He nodded; it was about all he could manage at that moment. He owed Martha a lot, but for now, he just wanted to spend time in her company, away from the house.