Trying Not to Love You - Part Fifty Five

A/N This is obviously a lot longer story than my usual, and there's still a fair bit to go. Is it too long? Are you getting bored? Both reads and comments are drying up so that's my conclusion that you're all finding it a bit of a drag? Appreciate any feedback, it's so hard posting so silence, I could be way off with this and rely on you guys to keep me on track. Thanks all, MZ

Chapter Fifty Five

They’d not spent an evening together, deliberately, purposefully, and it was so nice, after everything that had happened, to be normal. They kissed in the taxi, like teenagers on a first date, then in Northbury, he led her to a pub he knew well. With drinks they sat in a booth and he turned to her.

                “So, today? How was it?”

She sighed, sipping at her glass of wine, “well Ethan loved school. That’s a relief.”

Giving her a hand a squeeze he waited for the ‘but’.

                “Then I called to Helen’s salon.”

He reached out and ran a hand through her hair, “and it looks amazing.”

She smiled up at him, “but it was my first real appearance...”

                “Since Scott?”

Laughing she reached for her glass and took a drink, “and you...and Ethan...”

                “Ah.” He took his own drink and gave her a moment to reply.

                “It was like a rollercoaster; it started with, ‘can you believe Scott is dead?’” She rolled her eyes ironically at him. “Then you were mentioned, not in relation to him, but reading between the lines I think I’m the envy of the whole village, especially the ladies, as Sylvia from the bookies was keen to tell me that you’d never shown up in the pub with the same woman twice.”

He laughed, “what did you say to that?”

Giving him a glittering smile that made his jeans suddenly far too tight, she said, “I corrected her, said that you’d turned up with many women, but you were very selective who you left with more than once.”

Bending in half he laughed loud and hard, “I wish I’d been there to see that.” He wiped at a tear, then saw her face, “how did it go with the Ethan story?”

She shrugged, “I didn’t say much, I kind of left it up to them. I’m not ready to answer questions about him yet, especially with Scott being the hot topic of gossip at the moment.”

He slid an arm around her shoulder and pulled her close, “people will do the maths at some point, but until then, just relax and ignore.”

                “You’re good at that, I’m not so.”

He nodded, “come on, let’s go eat.” The last thing he wanted was her swelling on sad feelings. This was meant to be a fun night, him showing her how special she was to him.

He took her to an Indian restaurant; it was new and had been raved about in local media.

Sitting opposite him, Martha watched him as he joked with the waiter who showed them to their seats, then ordered drinks. She was starving and the menu looked delicious, and she told him that when they were left alone.

                “Well then fill your boots Miss, tonight you are going to have EVERYTHING you want.”

She cocked an eyebrow and gave him her most flirtatious look, “everything?”

Again her comment was met with laughter, which only increased when she both ordered tons of food, but then proceeded to eat it all too.

After the meal they got a taxi back to town. They’d promised Paul they’d relieve him by eleven, and as they had half an hour, Sonny insisted they get a drink in the Royal Oak. As he threw open the door and led her up to the bar by the hand, squeezing her fingers, knowing that she hated all the eyes on them.

James was there, polishing the brass taps, the bar was quiet.

                “Vodka and a white wine.” Sonny gave James as much respect as he received and it wasn’t until Martha curled into his body then elbowed him in the side that he added a very sarcastic, “please.”

James looked between the two of them then gave his head a shake, as he poured the drinks. Martha fought the scowl that threatened to scar her face, as much as Sonny provoked the other man, he was always there looking down his nose at him, thinking the worst. It was only as she spent more time with Sonny that realised what it was like to walk in his shoes, to love his life, and it was no wonder that he was so uncaring, so antagonistic.

Sliding an arm around him, she tucked her fingers in to the back pocket of his jeans, letting her weight lean against him, and the arm around her shoulders tighten, holding her close.

They stood there sharing a drink uncaring that those present had an opinion on the two of them.

Later they closed the restaurant, prepared for the next morning, then headed home, together.

                “Have a great day darling. Hope you have fun.” Ethan stared at her and rolled his eyes, then skipped towards the school door. He was happy. And that made Martha happy. Once he was out of view, she turned and headed back to the car. She wanted to go shopping in town, there wasn’t a great amount of food in the house, and she knew that Sonny’s birthday was around the corner. He was thirty in a few weeks. She wanted to find something special for him, show him how she felt. That was important to her.

As she was climbing into the car her phone rang. It was Michael. Taking a deep breath she connected the call, not wanting to speak to him, but he was Ethan’s grandfather.

                “Martha can I speak to you? It’s urgent.”

                “I’m just going into town.”

He sighed, “I’m in all day. Can you come here before you go home? It won’t take long.”

That hung like a sentence over her whole shopping trip. She got the two things she wanted, a designer winter coat, something that she could imagine he’d wear, he only ever wore plain jeans, dark shirts or t-shirts and his suit to work, so she had to get something that fitted that, then there was an iPod, she noticed that he’d started to borrow CD’s and listen to them as he boxed, he was discovering music, and she liked that. She also was well into her Christmas shopping, she could only really get what she wanted for Ethan if she budgeted and shopped throughout the year. So she made a few more timely additions to her growing stock.

It was one when she finally made it back to the car, and she groaned as she thought about spending time with Michael, she’d almost managed to forget.

The drive was quick, and she could see Scott’s father in the window, almost as though he knew she was coming.

                “Hi Michael,” she joined him in the lounge after being shown in. “How are you?”

He shrugged, “my life is rather empty.” He sighed, “that’s ironic I know given my relationship with Scott.”

                “A child is a child,” she offered sympathetically. Without adding even if they become a complete bastard.

                “How is Ethan?”

She nodded “good, he loved school yesterday, he’s settled.”

That made Michael smile, “I’d like to see him.”

                “Of course, we could maybe make something a little more formal, you know certain times of days. I’m flexible and happy for you to see him as often as you want, but it’s a couple of days since I was here with him and that seems to have flown by,”

                “I’d like that.” He took a deep breath, “and Sonny Carter?”

This was what she hadn’t wanted; this was the topic she wanted to avoid.

                “What about him Michael?”

He’d been staring out of the window since she’d entered the room but now he’d turned to face her, “I don’t want him around my grandson, he killed my son.”

She shook her head, “you’re wrong Michael. He didn’t. There’s no way I’d share my and Ethan’s life with him if that was the case. He’s spoken to the police...”

                “Pff!” He cut her off. “Did you ask him? About his friend?”

She nodded, “the man in the photo, he does know him but only vaguely. Apparently he’d tipped Scott off, about some deal, then Scott cut him out. He was with Sonny drowning his sorrows when it all happened. They’ve got witnesses.”

Michael stepped away from her, “I don’t believe that. I don’t want him near my grandson.”

Despite the desire to scream at him to mind his own business, she knew that this was a volatile issue, she had to manage it. “Look Michael, I am with Sonny, he wasn’t anything to do with what happened. I know you’re hurt...”

He turned to her and for the first time she saw venom in his eyes, “I’ll fight you for my grandson if you stick with him.”

That made her laugh, “I know you’re hurt, but there’s no way that’s happening. After all, I could up and leave at any point if you make that threat, and why the HELL would I consider you seeing him with my blessing?”

She sighed and walked over to him, “look, let’s talk about this tomorrow, I’ll bring Ethan over. But know that I will not be dictated to by you. Ok?”

She walked out her head held high, but wanted to crumple into a ball and cry. Was no one happy for her? Did no one care that after years alone she’d found a man she loved, and who loved her?

Ethan appearing from school was the tonic she needed, and she had decided earlier, before the confrontation with Scott’s father that she’d start introducing Ethan to her friends, after all she was anything but ashamed. He was a funny and happy little boy.

First would be Helen, and her family, Paul’s youngest was a similar age to Ethan, so she decided to start with him first. And fortunately she met him at the school gates.

                “Your son?” he asked genuinely stunned as his two little girls skipped around, joking with Ethan.

she nodded, “one of the reasons I left town.”

He gasped rather theatrically and it made her laugh, “you mean?”

She nodded, “Scott’s, I just never told him. Do you hate me for that?”

Paul pulled her into a hug, “I could never hate you...and you know my feelings on that idiot. Am I the only one not surprised he’s dead?”

She gave a sad sigh, “it’s the only scenario that meant I’d come home. Do you want a coffee?” She gestured towards the cafe, and he nodded. Martha also knew that sharing spending time in the cafe would ensure that the gossips really got their teeth into her news, but that was always going to happen.

Sonny had had a weird day, he’d jogged for an hour, then showered and changed. Carl was avoiding him, as he had been for most of the week. So he’d headed to the restaurant for the early delivery, then to the bookies, after a couple of games of pool he was having a mug of tea and gassing to Eamonn about everything but his relationship with Martha, it was an automatic taboo. They were both just leaving the cafe when the door opened and the woman herself stood there looking tired, but as delicious as ever. His body jolted a now over familiar response to her and he couldn’t fight the smile that broke on to his face.

                “Hey, you ok?”

She nodded, lifting her face to meet his lips briefly, “yup, just having a coffee with Paul. You home for tea?”

He squatted down to catch a careering Ethan who was carefree in his desire to see Sonny, “I made a painting of you!” He announced as Sonny picked him up, “it’s paint, and it was wet. I’ll bring it home tomorrow.”

                “Wow!” Sonny was genuinely touched, he was growing to adore the little man, and that was probably even more dangerous than his mother. Because in Ethan he could recognise all those traits that he’d seen and lost in himself as a boy, and he wanted more than anything to help keep the fire in his eyes alight, to prevent him from a life where he constantly strived for something he couldn’t find. “I can’t wait to see that. Me and Eamonn are off home, I’ll see you for dinner, yeah?”

Nodding Ethan wriggled to be set down then joined Paul’s to children in a rush for the corner table, all three colliding in a noisy bang. Laughing he bade his goodbyes then followed Eamonn out into the fading winter sunshine.

               

“You’ve got it bad.” Eamonn muttered as they made for the farm.

Sonny stopped to stare at him, “what so you mean?”

He laughed, “well you’re all doe eyed at her and the boy...readymade family for Mr Elusive. Couldn’t write a better book than that!”

Sonny pondered a moment, breaking back into an even stride, “Carl hates me.”

Eamonn laughed, “Nah, he wouldn’t want to give Martha up to ANYONE, I mean if the unmarried version of Prince William walked onto the farm tomorrow he’d run him out of town.” Rolling his eyes and tutting heavily he sighed, “that Oldbury broke so many lives, shattered them into a million pieces. Won’t be many grieve him at his funeral next week.” He looked up at Sonny, “stick with it over Carl. He’ll come around. He’s not unreasonable, he’s just scared...and you’re one of those scary types, aren’t you?”

He laughed, “You think so?”

                “Scary isn’t always a horror film, you scare him cos Martha is so obviously besotted with you...and you’re a charming rogue...the worst combination. Just show him you’re serious and he’ll understand. You’ll see.”

They parted company at the next crossroads, Eamonn bearing left to his home, Sonny heading to the farm. As he got to the farmyard he froze, all he could hear was shouting. As he finally reached the backdoor he recognised Lucy’s voice and another female that he couldn’t place.

                “You’re not welcome here, haven’t you done enough damage to my family. Bad enough all you did back in the day without you hoarding Martha for so long.”

                “She wanted to escape.”

Lucy was laughing as he opened the door, “that’s right, and you did NOTHING to help reconcile her with us. Why’s that I wonder? You always did want this family for yourself...well they don’t want you, they want us!”

Sonny gasped when he saw Stephanie squaring up to the older woman, “I’m here at Martha’s invitation, and Carl’s, so GET over it you old witch.”

Before any pushing or shoving happened, Sonny burst into the kitchen and stood between the two women.

                “What the hell is going on here?”