Trying Not to Love You - Part Sixty Two

Chapter Sixty Two

Martha had to get away, but as it was Ethan was singing Happy Birthday to Sonny and handing him the present they’d painstakingly wrapped the night before, the designer winter jacket and the iPod. She still wanted him to have them, but not with Jade wrapped around him like some attachment.

                “These are for you! Happy Birthday!” It was literally the fifteenth time that Ethan had wished the greetings on Sonny, and he laughed as he took the parcels.

                “Really? For me?”

He opened the large parcel first and gasped in surprise at the coat that was exactly what he’d choose for himself. His eyes lifted to meet Martha’s and he smiled at her, “this is amazing.”

She laughed awkwardly, “I’m sick of seeing you shivering.”

He was still smiling as he slid it on, aware that Jade and Carl were a little awkward with things, “I love it.”

                “It suits you.” Jade offered running her hands over his shoulders and almost purring like a cat. Sonny brushed her hands away as he took the other gift from Ethan who was dancing in front of him.

                “This is for me too?”

When Ethan gave s toothy grin and a nod, he smiled, “Wow.” But that only intensified when he saw the iPod. Again his eyes lifted to Martha, he’d never had gifts like this before, and for a moment there was just the two of them in the world, he looked at her and smiled.

She returned the smile, “I’ve preloaded it with things you like...and things I think you’ll like.”

                “This is amazing, but far too much. You shouldn’t have.”

Martha turned away breaking the spell of that moment of intimacy, “hah, friends buy each other gifts, and we’re friends aren’t we?”

As she turned away Sonny sighed, he’d never had anything like this, he was overwhelmed by it all, but as she moved away from him, retreating back to her place miles away from him, Carl stepped forward.

                “Probably not as dramatic as Martha’s but all the same, Happy Birthday.”

Carl’s gift was a box of chocolates and a bottle of whisky.

                “Can’t fault either, you know my sweet tooth!”

Carl laughed, “I’ve seen you devouring box after box of my chocs when I was in hospital, knew if I got you your own everyone else would have a look in.”

As Sonny laughed, Jade moved close to him and eyeballed Martha directly, almost confrontationally, then wrapped an arm around his neck and gave him a kiss, a rather obscene one on front of an almost five year old. “Wish you told me it was your birthday before we hit your bedroom...but I suppose...” she lifted her lips to her ears and whispered something equally inappropriate that made him half grin, embarrassed that they’d ended up in the kitchen at all.

 He’d almost got Jade out of the house when Carl found them, and as he looked at Martha desperately trying to ignore them, without seeming bothered or concerned, he hated himself. But last night had been one of those nights, Martha had made him look at himself; confront the realisation of who his father was, and his behaviour over her. As the red mist of anger and frustration descended he’d found himself in a scuffle with Gripper of all people, he was still casting aspersions around town about his involvement in Scott’s death, and he had retaliated predictably. He knew that Martha would be angry, reprimand him over it, but in her absence he’d pushed the idiot into a corner and it had been Jade who had dragged him away, and his resistance to that had been only temporary as in the darkness of a quiet alleyway she’d wrapped herself around him and shown him better ways to forget his woes.

As soon as was humanly possible, he extricated them from the awkward situation, dragging Jade, who seemed to be enjoying exerting her influence over the situation to the hilt. As usual, Sonny had bitten off more than he could chew.

As he watched Jade teeter off into the distance, he gave his legs a stretch, then headed off on his run, he knew he’d have to pound the punch bag a bit later, his birthday was always a lonely time, and the fact that Martha had made an effort for him made it even more poignant that he’d rejected her.

She’d promised Ethan she’d bake a cake, but as usual his attention span was limited to licking the spoon at the end, instead he was out feeding the chickens whilst she battled with her father’s temperamental oven. Now she had the two slabs of sponge sandwiched together with jam and butter icing. They’d decided - or rather Ethan had, that they would write ‘Happy Birthday’ with the icing pens she’d bought in the shop. Knowing that Sonny loved chocolate, she topped the cake with a layer of ganache, and then called in Ethan to decorate.

In the cupboard he found jelly babies, coloured sprinkles, silver balls and chocolate buttons, and all of a sudden the classy cake she’d envisaged became a kid’s paradise...and an adult’s mess! But Ethan loved it, and it was his idea.

                “What time is dinner?” Ethan asked excitedly dancing on the spot.

Sonny’s ultimate favourite meal was spaghetti, so Martha had prepared a huge pan full, and when the back door opened and Aunt Lucy stepped inside, she was never more relieved to have both cooked so much, but also, to see her Aunt after ten days.

They were mid hug when her father came in from the garden. Immediately the atmosphere was tense. Martha had to sort it, it wasn’t good for Ethan.

                “We’re having a birthday tea for Sonny and I’m not having this atmosphere ok.”

At that same moment the door from the utility room opened and Sonny walked in.

Martha sighed, “this place gets more like a hotel every day. Right now you are all here, we are having a meal for your birthday Carter in about fifteen minutes. Ethan has spent all day telling me what he wanted me to prepare for you. We’ve all had issues over the last few weeks, and to say it’s hostile here is an understatement, so can we all agree to get on, if nothing else but for Ethan’s sake. He wants this party more than anything.”

All three had the good grace to look guilty, and she was glad to see them nod solemnly, just as Ethan reappeared. He’d rushed out of the room when Lucy had arrived.

“Right, wash hands, get changed...whatever you need to do. Dinner will be fifteen minutes.”

Everyone file out of the room and Martha moved to the fridge pulling out the champagne that was chilling, and then put the garlic bread in the oven. When she stood back up she realised Sonny was still there.

                “Do you need help?”

She shook her head, “it’s all in hand.”

He nodded, “thanks so much for all this. I’ve never had a celebration like this.”

                “I always had big parties when I was a kid, I couldn’t let this milestone birthday pass without making a fuss.”

He sighed, “about earlier...”

Martha held her hand up to silence him, “what you do and who you do it with is no concern of mine.”

                “But I...”

Again she stopped him, “I can’t talk about this. Not now.”

                “Let me speak. Please. You looked upset this morning.”

 That made her turn to him, “look you chose this, you chose a separate life from me. I’m sure that means you’re going to have lots of women staying here. It’s got nothing to do with me.”

                “I don’t want to hurt you Martha, and this morning you looked sad.”

She laughed at that, “I’m a little stunned that you can move on so quickly, but that’s not my business, is it?”

                “I care about you; I don’t want to make things hard for you.”

Martha sighed, “you care about me, but don’t love me. I get it Carter.”

Shaking his head he took her hands and she flinched, snatching them away, “you know I love you, more than I’ve loved anyone else, but you’re better off without me. You know that.”

She denied that immediately, “no, I don’t know that. But I appreciate that you’ve made the decision based on whatever YOU feel is right. And of course you should move on, all I ask is that you don’t rub my face in it, don’t push me, and don’t make me discuss it. Ok?”

He wasn’t finished, she knew that, but Ethan running in extending his recently washed hands ended the conversation abruptly.

Sat around the table the five of them talked, Lucy was full of news from her time in Harrogate, her father of his first nights back in work, and Sonny stories of his time on the Med. Ethan listened and laughed, not really understanding a lot of things being said, but drinking champagne, eating the meal she’d prepared, it was the closest to a happy family meal that they’d shared in ages.

                “Will you come to the Oak tonight?” Carl asked Sonny as they finished the meal.

Sonny put down his fork and folded his hands across his stomach, “Martha, that was amazing.” She gave a nod of recognition, then he turned to Carl, “I’m sure I can be persuaded to join you for a drink, but I’m working.”

                “No one booked in,” Martha reassured him, “first night in ages, so I’m giving everyone the night off. Pointless all turning up for the possibility of a walk up trade. Enjoy your night.”

                “Mum?”

She looked down at Ethan who was squirming beside her; she gave him an elaborate wink, then led him out to the utility room. Lighting the twelve candles - all that they could fit on the cake, they carried it into the kitchen, knocking out the lights as they went.

Ethan’s voice echoed loudly and everyone joined in with his singing Happy Birthday. Then a beaming and surprised Sonny blew out the candles, helped by Ethan who’d climbed onto his lap.

                “This is amazing!” He announced as the lights came back on.

Ethan looked up at him, “I decorated it myself.”

Sonny pulled a jelly baby from the frosting and slipped it into his mouth, “and it is perfect. Thank you Ethan.”

His eyes met Martha’s, the real organiser behind quite definitely the best birthday he’d ever had.

Two hours later, Carl insisted on taking Sonny for a couple of games of pool. It gave Martha and Lucy chance to get to the pub. James had promised a buffet, karaoke, and most of the town had agreed to come. Sonny was growing on those who didn’t fancy him, and if they were unsure the promise of free food seemed to do it.

Eamonn and his wife Sarah arrived at seven, their sixteen year old daughter Carla was babysitting for Ethan. After Martha had given her a quick guided tour, she left her with Ethan on her lap watching Finding Nemo.

Sonny had trounced Carl three times, quite embarrassingly, he was only too glad to leave the pool hall and make for the Oak. As he walked into the room he saw a banner wishing him a Happy Birthday, and the staff from the restaurant gathered, as well as guys from the farm, people he played pool or gambled in the bookies with. In all everyone he knew in town were gathered, all smiling and cheering. He felt a flush of embarrassment, he hated being the centre of attention, but then Eamonn stepped towards him holding out a glass of champagne with a smile. He took it and his eyes finally found Martha, her face a smile as she raised her glass across the crowd to toast him.

He mouthed the words ‘thank you’, as she was swamped by people and he had to turn to accept everyone’s good wishes. The first birthday party he’d ever had. Martha was making this a year of so many firsts. How could be walk away from her?