Trying Not to Love You - Part Seventy

Chapter Seventy

By seven am on Christmas morning Ethan was ecstatic, he’d had all his dreams come true and deposited in a stocking at the end of his bed. Martha still shared a bedroom with her son, which wasn’t ideal, but it did mean that she could watch him unwrap his gifts before six am without disturbing the rest of the house. Stephanie was staying for the holiday, so she was in Sonny’s room; he was back in the coach house.

Ethan could no longer be contained in a single room, so they pulled on slippers and robes and headed downstairs. There was a huge pile, or rather several huge piles of gifts under the tree, some from Santa for Ethan, but also gifts from all the adults for him and each other.

                “Can I open them now?” He asked excitedly as they came downstairs.

                “Let me get a coffee, then you can open that pile there. The ones under the tree we’ll open when the others get up.”

He was hopping from one foot to the other when she finally returned with coffee and her camera. He had half a dozen ‘big’ gifts and he’d revealed a couple of games and toys when the door opened and Sonny looked in.

Martha gave a smile and watched as Sonny came across to sit beside her.

With an extra person to show off to, Ethan proceeded to show every gift to Sonny who was suitably impressed. Martha grinned, Sonny knew exactly how to deal with Ethan, even though he looked like he’d barely slept - he’d been at the pub until after she’d gone to bed the previous night, he was still up early. Partly to witness Ethan’s excitement, but partly because for him this was the first proper Christmas for him, and she had a feeling he wanted to absorb as much of it as he could.

The last gift that Ethan opened was a remote control car, and within moments Sonny was on his knees on the floor beside him helping him to work it. Martha laughed then made for the kitchen, starting the turkey cooking, and breakfast - the rest of her day was hectically planned.

Within an hour Sonny and Ethan were dressed and trying out the remote control car outside on the yard. Stephanie and her father had both got up, and Martha was trying to supply breakfast and hot drinks whilst making sure the turkey and dinner were cooking as she expected.

She’d started to lay the kitchen table for the feast when the door opened and Lucy stood there, “is no one helping you darling?”

Martha shrugged, “seems that I do such a good job that people believe I’m part of the furniture! “

Lucy grinned and pulled up her sleeves, “well I’m here to help.”

At that moment they were both called into the lounge, as Ethan was in charge of doling out the gifts that still remained under the tree. There were winter hats, gloves, CD’s and books, some more appropriate than others, all handed out by the still ecstatic Ethan. After her father insisted that everyone had a glass of champagne and toasted Christmas, Martha retreated to the kitchen.

                “Can I help?”

She looked up to see Sonny leaning against the door frame. Giving a shrug she refilled her champagne glass, “just need to finish laying the table.”

                “I’ve had a lot of practice,” he offered, referencing his time at the restaurant. And almost immediately they fell into their comfortable working way. Within moments the table cloth was crease free, the crockery and cutlery set for every place, and the sparkling wine glasses catching the light that shone through the window.

                “Looks good.” He offered refilling her glass. Martha sighed and leaned back against the counter watching him.

                “You nervous about Michael coming?”

Sonny shrugged, “not as nervous as he probably is.”

That made her laugh, “yeah right!” But as she looked away Sonny knew she could read him better than he read himself.

Dinner was a raucous affair, with compliments being heavily laid in the direction of the tired, frazzled and slightly tipsy chef.  Ethan spent the whole time trying to escape from the table to play with a variety of toys and games, whilst the adults ate, drunk and becoming increasingly less pissed off with each other, for there were quite a few standoffs around the kitchen table when the meal commenced.

                “So what’s happening with the restaurant?” Martha with several glasses of champagne inside her finally had the courage to broach the issue of it being sold.

Her father grimaced awkwardly, “I had a buyer lined up but they’re having some sort of cash flow issue and want to delay. But if I don’t sell I can’t raise enough capital to buy the Royal Oak. James’ parents want a quick sale.”

                “I’ve told you it’s ok,” Sonny offered, “don’t feel awkward because of me.”

It was Michael’s turn to look up, “you were part of this?”

Sonny shrugged, “I was going to manage the place for Carl, but I’m happy at the restaurant, nothing has to change.”

                “Or I can make up the difference,” Michael offered, “It’d be my chance to help you out.”

Sonny shook his head, “I’m not a charity Michael, but thanks all the same.”

It changed the tone of the meal and made the atmosphere strained for a while, but fortunately Ethan was there to make everyone laugh.

                “That was a great meal,” Sonny followed Martha into the lounge, the older adults had placed themselves in charge of cleaning up the kitchen. It was getting dark and the usual run of Christmas specials were about to start on TV. “All of today has been amazing. You were right.”

                “Why don’t you think about Michael’s offer?” She dived straight in with what had been on her mind since dinner.

                “No way. He can’t buy me like that.”

Martha shook her head, “don’t be so pigheaded, hear him out. You can pay him back, make it a loan, put things on your terms. It’d mean you have something tangible, a home, a business...are you going to let that opportunity slip away out of sheer pigheadedness?”

                “I’ll owe him something...”

She shook her head, “on the contrary, he owes YOU. The question is - are you going to make him pay forever? Or are you ready to move on...get over things?”

He groaned, “you always confuse everything.”

She laughed, “confuse? I think I make things very clear for you. Didn’t you just say I was right?”

Groaning he started to pull on his coat.

                “You heading out?”

He nodded, “I’m going into the village.” He didn’t mention Jade’s name, but they both knew what, or rather who was waiting there for him.

                “Oh.” She clearly hadn’t been expecting him to rush off.

                “Michael’s going to give me a lift...not that I can’t walk.” When she offered an awkward smile, he handed her a small wrapped gift. “I got this for you...but I didn’t want to give it in front of the others.”

She smiled, despite it all he had been thinking of her again. “You shouldn’t have.”

Pulling at the paper, it revealed a black velvet box, and when she popped the lid, she sighed, inside was a charm, a four leaf clover, on a fine silver chain, and it was accompanied by the message, “A Best Friend is like a four leaf clover, hard to find, and lucky to have.” Suddenly overwhelmed by a plethora of conflicting emotions, she looked up at him, knowing that her face betrayed her inner demons.

                “It’s beautiful.”

He smiled, then lifted a thumb so swipe at a tear that escaped her eye, “you’ve changed my life. You know that, don’t you?”

She gave a little nod, not able to think beyond him being there in front of her, “and my life is better for knowing you.”

He gave a smile, “but not enough to get through all this, hey?”

The guilt, the pain that caused her to drop her eyes, and when she looked up he had gone.

The next two weeks were absolute chaos. After Christmas came New Year. Everyone had something to do, somewhere to go. In previous years the restaurant had been open for a special night, but this year no one wanted to work. Sonny was going to Northbury with the youngsters of the town and of course Jade, her father and Eamonn were heading to the Oak, and Lucy was staying at her friend’s in London and going to the Embankment to watch the fireworks. Stephanie hadn’t been around since Christmas, so Martha and Ethan faced a night in alone. That was until Paul called, he was in a similar situation, single parent, nowhere to go. But he had several large pizzas, DVD’s and a case of wine. She didn’t need asking twice.

Early in January, Sonny finally agreed to loan his stake in the pub from Michael and the exchange was imminent. Martha had no idea how she’d manage the restaurant and look after her son without his help, but she couldn’t voice that, Sonny needed his own place, his own life, his own future, but that didn’t mean she didn’t wonder about her own future.

The restaurant was closed on the Monday and Ethan was in bed when her father came in from an afternoon out.

                “I need to talk to you about taking on some more staff at the restaurant.  I mean in a couple of weeks Sonny’ll be gone to the pub, and you’ve already told me that you can’t help out; Paul is in the same boat as me. It’s going to be impossible if we don’t take on at least one other worker, someone reliable.”

Her father moved across the kitchen and opened the fridge door, grabbing a beer before he answered with a smile, “the owners, the ones who want to buy are struggling with finances, so we’ve changed the plans, they’re leasing the place. It means we get some money from them, enough to cover the pub stake, but we keep the building and the collateral. I think it works well for us, and soon we’ll be free of the graft there.”

That shocked Martha, “when does this happen?”

He sighed, “next week we sign. Two weeks it’ll be someone else’s responsibility. And they’ve agreed to keep the kitchen staff on for six months, see how it works out.”

She stared at him, unable to believe that yet again he hadn’t discussed this with her, he was pulling the rug from under her feet once again and she was struggling to control how she felt. Taking a deep breath she managed to say, “so as of next week I’ll be unemployed? What the hell am I supposed to do?”

Laying a hand on her shoulder, he smiled, “be a mother...shop...have fun...”

Martha glared at him, “Shop? Have fun? I spent months grafting, abandoning everything for you to keep that restaurant healthy. I have put blood sweat and tears into that place, and you sell me down the river now? Without a discussion or explanation?”

                “I thought you’d be pleased.” Carl had the decency to look embarrassed, but it was too little too late for Martha.

She shook her head, “pleased? No I’m not pleased.” Rather than shouting as she thought she would, she was eerily calm. Looking at her father her anger was devastating her. Turning she made for the door, “thanks Dad, for undermining me and making me feel worthless. Ethan’s in bed, I need fresh air.”

There was nowhere to go but the pub, everywhere else was closed, and a Monday night wasn’t the busiest. Walking in to the lounge of the pub she was gutted to see that she was the only one there. James was behind the bar filling the fridge with bottled beer.

                “Early start? You’re not usually here at this time.”

Martha sighed, “needs must. Can I get a wine please?” She threw a note down onto the counter and slid onto a stool at the bar.

                “Gonna be strange when I’m out of this place.” He offered as he placed the drink in front of her. “Been home for so long. You all moving in?”

She hadn’t discussed what was happening with her father, or rather he’d not discussed it with him, so she had nothing to share with her friends. Rather than exploding, she shrugged, “haven’t thought about it yet. Do you feel ok at moving?”

Again he paused and looked at her, “I don’t know. Haven’t really got a plan B. Going to stay with a cousin in London when the sale happens, have to see after that where I go.”

                “So you’re definitely leaving town?”

He nodded, “this is the wakeup call I need. I was angry my folks did this to me, but I can see that it’ll open doors for me.”

A group of five men arrived and absorbed James for a while, fortunately he’d left the whole bottle of wine beside her, so she helped herself so another glass. Sitting alone all she could do was think about how angry, how cheated, how hard done by she was. She hated feeling so morose, but it was hard to shake off the weight that sat on her shoulders. Self pity was a lonely place, but the wine helped on both counts.

                “You’re knocking back the vino.” James commented as he took a moment to pause at her side. “Anything you want to talk about?”

She shook her head, “I’m just not good company at the moment.”

He laughed, “post Christmas blues, I know all about that.”

A commotion from behind James made them both look up as the door to the living quarters burst open to reveal Sonny and Jade, entwined, laughing and almost falling into the pub. Martha stared at them as Jade draped her arms around Sonny and planted a kiss on his lips. He laughed, then looked up suddenly realising that they were the centre of attention. 

                “Martha. What are you doing here?”

She shrugged, “having some time to myself.”

With that she looked down at the newspaper nest to her, unshed tears blurring her vision, but knowing that she couldn’t meet Sonny’s eyes again. She couldn’t see the bewildered look on his face at her unexpected appearance in the pub, or Jade draping herself around him, so obviously adoring in a post coital haze.

Hell.