Trying Not to Love You - Part Seventy Three

Chapter Seventy Three

Three groups of people had entered the pub by seven o’clock and looked intent on having a good night. Sonny smiled, being busy was exactly what he wanted, and definitely what he needed. Smiling at the woman stood in front of him holding a wad of notes and wearing a “Hen Party” banner and tiara, he asked, “what can I do for you?”

                “Ooh, a lot!” Said the woman to her left, “you could do a lot for all of us, couldn’t he Ange?”

The woman who he presumed was the bride-to-be in this situation smiled awkwardly, “sorry, they’re not always like this!”

Sonny grinned, “you’re having fun, if you can’t on your hen night when can you?” He reached for a bottle of some wondrous green liqueur, “have a shot...on the house.”

He filled a dozen small plastic glasses with the green apple smelling liquid and the women all gushed excitedly, tossing the drinks down their throats.

                “We’ll have champagne,” the bride offered with a grin, “thanks.”

Sonny pulled a forty pound bottle of fizz from the fridge and smiled, you had to speculate to accumulate, and he’d just given a couple of free shots and a little flirtation and was about to reap the rewards. Life was good.

It was at that moment that he sensed someone entering the room, when he looked up he saw Martha, he almost had extrasensory perception when it came to her. He didn’t believe in ghosts, but for a moment he wondered if she’d seen one. She looked dreadful, she’d been pale, tired when she left, but she looked horrendous, deathly pale, wide dark eyes terrified, and if he wasn’t mistaken, she was shaking, like a leaf. Ethan looked bewildered, his hand clamped in hers, he was clearly confused and something clearly had happened. Glancing around he wondered where his staff were, and rued the busyness of the early evening at that moment. Giving an apologetic smile at a man waiting in the other side of the bar for a drink, he rushed over to her, taking her shoulder in his hand.

                “What’s happened? Are you ok?”

She gave her head a shake, her wide eyes dry of either emotion or tears, he’d never seen her so exposed, so raw, so defeated.

Someone tapped the bar behind him, and he turned to see three people waiting for drinks, Where was Pam? She was due to start at seven. He glanced at the clock, it was ten to.

                “Go upstairs, ok? I’ll come up as soon as I can.”

She nodded mutely before finally speaking, “don’t tell anyone I’m here.”

He nodded, “of course. I’ll be as quick as I can.”

Pam did arrive, but they were both inundated for half an hour as the pub filled far earlier than he’d ever noticed in the times he’d frequented as a punter. As he finally had a moment, he turned to the older experienced bar maid and nodded towards the door to the living quarters.

                “I need to dive upstairs; I’ll be as quick as I can. Buzz me if it’s too hectic?”

As she nodded he noticed Carl and Stephanie at the door, both looked, well he could only describe it as frazzled, they’d done something to her. Turning back to the Pam he added insistently, “NO one comes upstairs, ok?”

She nodded, “of course.” Then turned back to the waiting patrons.

Sonny felt dread with every step that he climbed up to his new home. The living quarters were huge, three large rooms, an industrial quality kitchen and a huge lounge/dining room that was half the size of the pub downstairs, and that was where he found Martha.

She was sat on the sofa, a sleeping Ethan beside her, his head on her lap, and she was stroking his hair in a mindless fashion.

Standing in the doorway he took in the scene for a moment, he was genuinely scared, only Martha had the ability to illicit that reaction in him. Pure fear on her behalf.

She must have heard him approach as she looked up, those haunted eyes searching his.

                “What the hell has happened?”

She sighed, “my dad...”

He nodded, “what about him?”

                “I went home, I found him...in your old room...with Stephanie.”

It took several moments for him to process the intimation in her words. “Shit, Carl and Stephanie...?”

She nodded, “the image is SO vivid.”

For a moment he wondered what was so wrong. After all both her father and Steph were single, and they were anything but strangers. And this was a world where a lot of people never found a soul mate. But then he looked at his soul mate Martha, the only reason they weren’t together was through interference of others, especially those very two. He sighed, THAT was why she was so angry...part of it, the hypocrisy of it all. And he was angry himself now, who were they to dictate, then do what they did. The old Sonny wouldn’t have given a shit, but this new caring Sonny did, more than anything.

Crossing the room he squatted in front of her, “shit. I can’t believe that.”

She nodded, and sensing his empathy, she hated that the tears finally started to well.

Lifting Ethan’s head he allowed her to slide out from under him and replaced her legs with a pillow, then he pulled her to her feet.

                “Come here.” In his arms she let go, crying tears for a million reasons, willingly allowing tears to soak his t-shirt. It was several minutes before she recovered and Sonny just held her body heaving with sobs, his fingers on one hand stroking her hair gently, the other in the small of her back, she was enveloped, safe, finally.

                “Ok?” He finally asked when her body was still, holding her at arm’s length.

She had her head dropped, her face obscured by the curtain that was her hair. Reaching for the sofa he grabbed a t-shirt that was tossed over the back and tilted her head, using the clean crisp cotton to wipe her eyes. She gave an awkward smile, then shook her head moving away.

He was sat waiting for her when she finally emerged from the bathroom, holding out a glass of brandy in his hand.

She took it cradling it in her hands, then lifted it to her lips, taking a long slug.

                “I feel as though the final strain of stability in my life has gone. I’d do anything to go back to November, how can everything change in just two months?”

He sighed, “they’re consenting adults, you can’t change that.”

She nodded, “I know that. But they’ve had such a strong opinion on me, on you...it’s so bloody hypocritical...and when I close my eyes...” She stared up at him, “Ethan could have walked in...I mean they’re not teenagers. What the hell is wrong with them?”

Sonny gave a half smile, “they probably feel like teenagers, look it’s not ideal, but we can’t control who falls in love.”

She laughed then, hard, sarcastically, “tell me they weren’t involved in you abandoning me. Tell me that it was nothing to do with them that they never interfered.”

Of course he couldn’t, but he tried not to show her the truth, hoping that silence would be enough.

The laugh came again, this time even more sardonic. “Bastards. SO they can RUIN my life, make every decision for me, and then carry on doing what the hell they like?”

Sonny sighed, “I’m sure it seems that way.”

                “It is that way. I gave up EVERYTHING for this, for him, for them.” She was rambling now, and Sonny knew better than to interrupt. “So I have to play by other people’s rules and they don’t. One rule for daddy dearest another for everyone else, is that how it works?”

He sighed, “I don’t know.”

At that moment his phone rang, Pam, telling him that the bar was inundated.

                “I’ve got to go back downstairs, you ok for a minute?” He wanted to punch a wall in frustration, but there was nothing he could do at short notice, he had to abandon her.  

Martha looked up and nodded, “I’m ok. I’ll pull myself together.”

                “Stay tonight; sort your head out, yeah?”

She nodded, “I’m not rushing anywhere.”

He moved to the door, “I’ll come back as soon as I can. Ok?”

The hen night was in full flow when he stepped back behind the bar, and the ladies whooped enthusiastically seeing him return. As he helped Pam he couldn’t drag his mind from the woman struggling upstairs. He’d love to go and see Carl; give him a piece of his mind. Did no one else care about her?

He had no plan B, there was no way he could leave the bar and go back to her. It was half an hour later that he spotted her in his peripheral vision, as soon as he’d finished serving his customer, he deserted the bar and chased to her.

                “Where are you going?”

Martha held up the baby monitor, “it was in the car...if I leave one side down here will you listen out of Ethan? I have to go and talk to them. It’ll drive me insane being here.”

It was not ideal, there was no saying he could be there for Ethan if it was busy, but she had to speak to her father, that was imperative.

It was a surreal drive home for Martha, though she knew the route like the back of her hand, it felt as though she was driving there for the first time, she was seeing things through a veil of emotion and it felt strange. She’d had an hour to think in a more realistic and composed manner, her father did deserve the chance to justify himself, but not as much as she deserved the chance to confront the two.

Slamming the car door, pleased that for the first time she was in the position of power, she held all the cards.

Entering the kitchen she was rewarded by the guilty faces of both her father and Steph, not that seeing them look so obviously guilty helped her. It only reminded her of what she’d witnessed.

                “Martha.” Her father came and walked towards her. “We’ve been worried sick. Where’s Ethan?”

                “Safe.” She managed suddenly reduced to one word answers.

Stephanie stood and reached for her hand, Martha snatched it away as she offered, “it’s not what it seems.”

That annoyed her, “so when I saw you and my father screwing that isn’t what was happening?”

Her father blushed, “Martha please.”

She shook her head, “no, don’t try and make me be reasonable here. I’m disgusted, disgusted with what I saw, the fact that you’d be so uncaring...it could have been Ethan who found you! Have you thought about that?” Her father looked glum, but Stephanie walked towards her a slightly smug look on her face.

                “Martha, look, we’re all adult here.”

Martha nodded, “yes we are, though just a couple of months ago both of you...” she pointed at each of them, “BOTH of you interfered in my relationship with Sonny. For the first time in my life I was happy, safe.” She looked at her father, “for so many years you were the only person who made me feel like that, but he came along and I fell in love with him, SO hard. But my happiness was never enough, YOU had to interfere. You know that Sonny is fragile, that he’s so vulnerable under that angry exterior, yet you both abused that, he won’t tell me, but I know what happened, I’m not stupid.” She gave a self deprecating laugh,” actually I was, to ever trust ANYONE. He meant everything to me,” she breathed the last words. “And you both helped ruin it, for your own purposes or some grossly misguided effort to right by me. As you just said, I AM an adult, but you two decided that you knew what was best for me.”

She started to pace, her anger fuelling her momentum, “then I find you two in bed.” Shaking her head she tried to move the image what was still so fresh in her mind. “And you want me to understand that? I don’t care who either of you sleeps with, but I care that you can act with such hypocrisy.”

She immediate felt better for airing her anger, she planned to get some clothes while she was there. She was hoping Sonny would put her up until she knew what she wanted to do. She knew he would. Making for the hallway and her bedroom, she only stopped when Stephanie spoke.

“Martha, let me explain, me and your father...”

A voice from behind caused them all to stop, “this I can’t wait to hear. Aunt Lucy said from the back door as the two looked up at her, “don’t stop on my account.”

Martha realised there was far more going on than she realised. Turning she looked at the three adults who were staring at each other, and suddenly she felt as though decades had been ripped apart.

                “Lucy...” her father offered, but the older woman held her hand up.

                “I want to hear what’s happening from her!” She pointed at Stephanie. “That’s what I want.”

Stephanie sighed awkwardly, “Look Lucy, this is nothing to do with you.”

Lucy shook her head, “it’s EVERYTHING to do with me. You’ve upset my niece, and it’s as though you’ve learned nothing from the past. You lady are destruction personified.” She glanced at Martha, “I’ve been fearing that this would happen, I never wanted you to find them together like this though.”

Martha made to speak when Carl opened his mouth, “LUCY! Stop now. Who made you judge, jury and executioner?”

                “My sister! That’s who!” Lucy’s voice quaked as she replied.