Trying Not to Love You - Part Seventy Two

Chapter Seventy Two

The first day without owning and running the restaurant coincided with the official launch for Sonny and Carl taking over the Royal Oak. Whilst he’d been in there running it for a couple of days, Friday night was the day they’d decided to have the actual opening night. It wasn’t a party as such, but there was a disco, food, and the first drink for the patrons was free.

Martha arrived alone. Her father had spent most of the afternoon at the pub, Lucy was coming there from a friend’s house, and most of her old friends were arriving at various times through the night.

When Martha stepped into the pub she could feel the difference, Sonny was smiling from behind the bar, her father perched on a stool was definitely Lord of the Manor, and in the time it took her to get from the door to where they stood they’d chinked their glasses in celebration and congratulations half a dozen times as various people joined them at the bar.

Sonny spotted her first and smiled, “here she is, our inspiration.”

Lots of people looked up at that, and Martha blushed at the sudden attention. It was an attempt to make her feel involved, but it was too little too late really for her. She still had a sour taste in her mouth over this whole business. Ethan was having a sleep over at Paul’s he wasn’t bothered about coming to the pub, but Sonny had employed him to work some of the day shifts whilst the new owners of the restaurant decided what to do, and that suited him.

Helen and her sister were due to join her later, but until then she was reliant on the current crowd.

Sonny was beaming as she approached and she was pleased to see him look so happy. For someone who’d struggled to fit in to this town, he looked relaxed, content, and was conversing leisurely with all the punters as though standing behind the bar was the most natural thing for him to do, as though he’d been there all his life.

                “Champagne?” He asked propping an elbow on the bar and leaning close to her.

Giving a nod she smiled at him, “thanks. It’s busy.”

He nodded, “this place always is, but I’m glad to see people don’t seem to be staying away cos I’m here.”

She took the glass he offered and then pulled up a seat next to her father who gave her a smile.

From her seat she could observe the comings and goings, but once Jade and her friends arrived it became awkward for Martha. She’d made a fool of herself when she’d been drunk the previous week. Sonny had gone easy on her, but as soon as Jade arrived she could tell that his girlfriend was planning to take things differently.

From his place behind the bar Sonny felt his heart break for Martha, she cut such a lonely figure in the place. Everyone else had someone to sit with, talk with, but since Stephanie had arrived, and Carl had disappeared off somewhere with her, Martha had sat at the bar alone. She looked as though she was ready to leave, and he hoped that she didn’t. He wanted her to be part of this, she’d been the lynchpin, she’d kept everything together when Carl had been absent and Sonny hadn’t really cared. And now she was on the fringe. He hoped she’d come work for him, but then he’d not got to grips with the accounts yet, despite spending most of the last few days nose deep in them. He also knew she’d make light work of the pages of numbers, and be able to balance things out. But he was too proud to ask her to help.

He glanced across to where she sat and realised that she looked pained. He hated that.  As he moved towards her, hoping to cheer her up, Jade came into his view, stood next to her.

                “So drastic and SO sad Cheryl, some people don’t know where they’re not wanted. If you burn your bridges then surely you should piss off and leave everyone alone.”

Sonny shook his head, Jade was directing her animosity at Martha, and that caused a hugely defensive streak to rise up in his throat. As he opened his mouth to speak, Martha beat him to it.

                “I was SO sorry to hear your parents selling your home whilst you still live in it. Burning your bridges is an understatement, but I hear you’re sleeping on Cheryl’s floor.”

Jade was furious, and whilst he couldn't condone Martha getting between them again, he was pleased that she’d held her own; he didn’t want to see her look any sadder than she did. She gave Jade a dazzling smile and was pulling on her coat when he reached her.

                “You leaving?”

She nodded, “I’m tired. Funny really when I’ve got no job I’m more tired than when I’m working flat out.”

He smiled, “take care getting home.”

                “I will. Come for dinner one day if you can. Ethan misses you.”

He grinned, “I’d like that.”

An hour later he was in the cellar changing a beer barrel when two arms encircled his waist. Grabbing the wrists, he turned and held a rather drunk Jade at arm’s length.

                “What?” she purred rubbing herself against him. “I’ve missed you all evening.”

He gritted his teeth for a moment, “you’re drunk and you’re acting like a fool.”

Her eyes widened and he could see the flash of pain on her face, “what?”

                “You! Shouting, throwing yourself around...what are you trying to prove?”

She stepped backwards genuinely surprised, but he was still angry, He couldn’t mention Martha, it would be like a red rag to a bull, but he wanted her to know he wasn’t happy.

                “Look go back to your friends, I’ll speak to you later.”

                “You will?” she asked with desperation.

Sonny looked to the ceiling, she was so eager to please, so keen that it made him feel wanted, not something he was used to, and it only added to his confusion.

Giving a nod, he turned her and directed her out of the cellar. “I definitely will. Now go socialise. Ok?”

                “Goodnight!” Sonny finally saw the last patron out. Fortunately he had to close at midnight, so it wasn’t too late as he finally closed the door. His first week had been amazing. Hard work, harder than he imagined, but he felt such pride. Leaning against the closed door he shut his eyes savouring the moment, until he heard a noise. Looking up he saw Jade, she’d been sat by the bar, but now she was walking towards him unbuttoning her blouse as she did.

She was a beautiful woman, she wanted him almost unconditionally, but as she outstretched her hands, and he linked his fingers with hers, as she led him to the stairs, and ultimately his new bedroom, he knew that she wasn’t Martha, and he doubted that she ever could mean the same to him. But...she wanted him, and that meant a lot to him too.

An hour later Jade had fallen asleep spread out across his mattress. He uncurled himself from her and got up, pulling on his boxer shorts he left the room. This was a huge step for him, and he liked the thought of having someone with him as he went. But he wasn’t sure that Jade was the right choice. He loved Martha, to distraction, but they weren’t getting anywhere, she was pushing him away, yet never letting him go, confusing him. He poured an inch of vodka into a glass then took a long drink of it. It was all such a mess when clarity meant so much to him. He wanted this to be complete, his work, his life, his happiness. He wanted it all.

Three drinks didn’t make any difference; instead he made his way back to the bedroom, and settled down for the night. Jade felt like a compromise, but she liked him, she wanted him, and it was simple, straight forward.

As he settled down onto the mattress beside Jade she stirred, rolling next to him, throwing an arm across his stomach. As her breath caused goose bumps on his chest, he inhaled deeply; he’d not cried since he was a kid, but as he lay there, at the pivotal moment of his life, the high point, he had never felt closer to tears.

                “Take me out somewhere. A proper date.” Sonny looked up from the breakfast table his mouth half open, his toast un-chewed. Jade stood in the doorway in just a towel, running her fingers through her shower wet hair.

                “A date?” He shook his head in wonder. “I’ve just taken on this place. I can’t have a night off.”

Sauntering across to him, she slid to sit on his lap, “well what about this afternoon? Some food or the cinema?”

He shook his head, “look it’s Saturday, it’s too busy. Maybe another day, ok?”

She gave him her best forlorn look, and then kissed him, and as she did she threw off the towel that covered her. Sonny sighed and gave into her earnest pleasure.

Martha had been swimming with Ethan, then they’d gone to town, bought him new shoes and a new coat. When they started the trip back to the house she was shattered, but she’d been out most of the day, that was her motive. She hated being at home at the moment, it was all too difficult, she didn’t know what to say to her father, Lucy was always out too, and on more than an odd occasion Stephanie was there acting like Lord of the Manor.

Was it only two months ago that she’d been in love with Sonny, running the restaurant with a family who were as devoted to her as she was to them? As she hit town she diverted, pulling into the pub car park.

Ethan looked up at her, “where are we going?”

Anywhere but home was her unspoken answer, “well you complained you hadn’t seen Sonny all week. Do you want to go visit him in the pub?”

He looked up at her expectantly, “really?”

She smiled the excitement in his eyes at the thought of seeing Sonny was all encompassing. I know how he feels, it was hard to admit just how much she missed him, since he’d moved out her life had changed dramatically, and she couldn’t help linking the two things together.

                “Ethan!” Sonny was almost bowled over by the miniature whirlwind that shot through the room taking everything out in its path. He had a single mission to reach his idol as soon as he could.

Sonny squatted down and caught the boy who threw his arms around his neck, “hey mate, how’s you? I missed you.”

Standing with the boy still in his arms, the two smiled at each other, “it’s boring without you!” Sonny pulled him close and gave him a huge kiss then sighed as he whispered, “and Mum is sad without you.”

He met Martha’s eyes over Ethan’s shoulder, she was still at the door and she looked tired, why were they torturing each other like this?

He smiled as she joined them, “you ok?”

Martha smiled, “yep. Busy day though, wondered if there were any cold beers in your fridge?”

Dropping Ethan onto a bar stool, he disappeared back behind the bar and proceeded to provide a fruit cocktail for Sonny and a bottle of beer for Martha.

There were a few others in the bar so he had to go and serve them, leaving them to drink their drinks.

When he returned he handed Ethan a bag of crisps, much to his amusement. “So where’ve you been?” He leaned on the bar studying Martha.

                “Swimming, town...”

                “I had new shoes!” Ethan burst in.

Sonny watched for a minute more, “avoiding home?”

She groaned at his powers of perception, “maybe.”

He sighed, “your father doesn’t mean things, he’s trying his best.”

She sipped at her beer, “I’d like to believe that, but I don’t. He says that he’s doing things for me, but all he’s done is isolate me. I came back here to help him, now that he’s back on his feet, that he’s got you, I’m surplus to requirements. I’m wondering whether I should go back to London, at least I had MY life there, my OWN life that is.”

Sonny shook his head at that suggestion, everything he’d given up had been to ensure he kept her in his life; he’d compromised their closeness to have her as a friend, an acquaintance and a colleague. If she left town, then it was all a disaster, all for nothing.

                “Don’t be rash. Take your time and take the chance to see what you want to do. You’ve got the chance to follow your dreams.”

It sounded like ideal advice, but he knew that Martha was complex, and not the type to take anything lightly.

Half an hour later she left, after a round of emotional goodbyes from Ethan, bundling him into Herman for the short drive back to the house. As she pulled the car into the yard she groaned, Stephanie’s car was there, that meant yet again she’d be sat with her Dad, ‘ganging up’ on her. She was starting to feel dread at the thought, but when she opened the door she felt instant unease, but had no idea why.

                “Why don’t you go and get an ice lolly from the freezer?” She directed him towards the utility room. “I’m just nipping to the bathroom, ok?”

She checked the lounge but the room was empty, that surprised her Steph didn’t socialise when she was here, and her absence was what concerned her, she’d expected to find her in the lounge painting her nails, but she wasn’t.

Taking the stairs two at a time she rushed to Sonny’s old room, which was where Steph was sleeping these days. Was she ill?

Throwing open the door she froze, draped across the bed, hair fanning out over the pillow was Stephanie, but it was the fact that above her...Martha swallowed the nausea at the sight of her father...she  had to pretend that she hadn’t seen him, his mouth to her breast, their naked bodies entwined.

The gasp of shock that she couldn’t hide made them both turn to look at her, surprise, guilt...it was all there. But Martha dropped the mail in her hand that she’d picked up in the kitchen and turned, by the time she hit the stairs she was running.

Grabbing Ethan’s hand she dragged him out of the farm and as far away as she could before she lost all coherent thought.