Trying Not to Love You - Part Eighty Five

Chapter Eighty Five

After dinner they called into several pubs, Martha drank a few G and T’s which seemed to settle her nerves, Sonny opted for vodka. It was almost an unwritten, unspoken agreement that they would leave the fourth pub and head back to the hotel. It was late, almost midnight and both felt the night had come to a natural end, or rather the public part of the night had. With his arm protectively around her shoulders Sonny led Martha back to the hotel.

                “I’m going to add those boots to the list.”

She stopped in her tracks and looked up at him, “my cowboy boots?” She was incredulous. “What list?”

He grinned, “the list of things you will ALWAYS wear in my dreams. I remember sitting in the Oak last year feeling a bit sorry for myself when I spotted this beautiful pair of legs.” He paused for a moment, “I remember the moment you walked in like it was yesterday, everything about you intrigued me...but it was those legs.” He laughed, “if you’d been wearing these boots,” glancing down he gave his head a little shake, “I think I’d have been across that room and on you in an instant.”

That floored her; she stopped, feeling the air literally leave her lungs. Sonny smiled, “what?”

She gulped erratically, “I never thought I’d hear anyone say something like that about me.”

He lifted a hand to cup her cheek, “really? You know that EVERYTHING about you fills my fantasies?”

Swallowing hard again, she shook her head, “I hoped...but...”

Sonny smiled at her insecurity, he’d never known love, never loved anyone before, not like this, but Martha, she came from a loving family for all their faults, but she was still jaded by how her last ‘lover’ had treated her. He was over the jealousy that had plagued him in the past, she had new experiences to fill her mind, Scott was a distant and definitely faded threat. But he hated that at arguably their finest moment, she was doubting how she set his world alight.

Sliding his arms around her, securing his hands together, he lifted her until her feet were off the ground then smiled against her lips as her legs wrapped around him. Using his hand he cupped her buttocks, at the same time ensuring her short dress covered her modesty.

                “Never doubt that I love you, ok? I’m not that bastard and I’m not about to let you down. If Jade still isn’t replying to my messages by tomorrow we’re telling the world, ok? I want EVERYONE to know how I feel about you.”

She gasped at that, and he grinned, “you told me I don’t care what people think, and you’re both right and wrong. I don't care what anyone thinks, except for you. I was wrong to listen to Michael, your father and Stephanie, and it’s a mistake I’ll only make once. I am willing to do anything to make you understand how serious I am about you. And how sorry I am for starting this whole mess.”

She smiled shyly, “I know how you feel, how you’ve always felt. That’s why I pushed you so hard, why I wouldn’t accept this was over.”

                “See,” he grinned at her, “we’re finally in the same place both of us, I find it hard to believe you’ve stuck by me this long, that you’ve pushed me to see sense. I don’t deserve that, but I’m grateful that you had that confidence in me, that you trusted me, especially when I’ve always done the opposite.”

Martha was smiling, that warm, sexy smile where she cocked her head to one side and seemed to see into his soul and it took his breath away.

                “I can’t talk so seriously when I’m desperate to drag you back to the hotel.”

With a sigh he allowed her legs to drop, and she slithered down the length of his body, then taking her hand he led her at an almost trot back to their room.

As the door shut she knew he wanted to pounce on her, but this was special, this was their time. It felt to Martha as though their whole relationship was based on what happened in the next few hours. She stepped away from his grasp, smiling at his confusion, the questioning raised eyebrow, she slid the straps of her dress off her shoulder.

As she stood there exposed in her brand new cerise pink underwear trimmed with purpled lace, bright yet she hoped sexy, she worried her bottom lip, waiting for him to react. With a grunt he threw off his suit jacket and by the time he’d freed his arms, she was on him tearing at the buttons of his shirt.

                “Amazing,” he breathed as he finally managed to wrap his arms around her, pull her close, kiss her. And it saw her surrender - to the moment, but definitely not to him. As he pushed, she riposted, each attempt to dominate, she over threw him, and when she forced him back on to the bed, he really did surrender, helping her remove his remaining clothing, then watching in wonder as she covered his chest with kisses, nips and tugs at his nipples, licking her way down over his abs. As she moved lower, her eyes flicked up to his and when she licked her lips eagerly he groaned, when those same lips connected with him he closed his eyes, head dropping back as  he savoured every moment as her lips drove him to the brink of both despair and ecstasy.

He fought her then, determined that it wouldn’t end yet; he wanted her in the same place as him, regardless of how hard it was to fight that receptive mouth and teasing tongue. Reciprocating, it wasn’t long till she was bucking off the bed, her hands curling into fists as they gripped the sheet beneath her.  His head was buried between her clenched thighs, his hands lifting her buttocks and his tongue and lips taking her to crest after crest of pleasure.

                “I can’t...” she breathed. She could tolerate more, it was no hardship, but she needed more, she wanted him to reach those peaks with her, that was what this was all about. Wrestling with him, she pulled him up to the pillows then slid astride him. His mouth opened in half pleasure, half surprise as she lowered herself onto him. He wanted control, as usual, but this was her time. Taking his hands, she held them above his head, pinning him to the bed as she moved steadily over him. Sonny’s eyes rolled to the back of his head as he tried to digest all that was happening, but he soon realised that Martha’s bare curvaceous breasts were bobbing near his face, the dark, tormenting hard tips teasing his mouth. With a sigh he captured one with his lips and was rewarded with a rapid change in her tempo.

It was her turn to sigh and her energetic demanding bounce over him changed into a rather erotic grind. Within moments Sonny could take no more, in equal measures of anticipation and frustration, he rolled her over, took command and drove them both to a long, hard, loud release.

It was the first of many times  in what Martha knew would be a night she would always hold dear, it was the first chance for them to be a couple, no hiding, no best behaviour, no pretending. Sonny was asleep, finally, he was like a machine when it came to sleep, he needed very little and seemed to be full of energy, his stamina knew no bounds. So it was a rare treat to be awake without him, she was stiff, sore, and the thought of a shower filled her with longing. It was a greater urge than waking him, starting the pleasure all over again.

The hotel shower was huge, and the jet powerful, hot needles invigorating her skin. As she soaped her body, rubbing scented shower gel into her stiff and sore muscles dozens of memories flashed through her mind of the ways they’d loved, the enthusiasm, the energy, the desperation.

Those daydreams were disrupted by two hands circling her body from behind, a body pressing against her, and a mouth at her ear lobe, “you look like a dream, couldn’t resist joining you.”

And so she added that shower cubicle to her treasure chest of memories.

“Breakfast?” He asked.

Martha lifted her head from his shoulder, “don’t want to move.”

Sonny grinned, “me neither, but we need a little sustenance, coffee, some carbs...we may be able to get back here for a while before we have to check out!” Giving her a wink he sat up and pulled her with him.

As they dressed for breakfast, her phone beeped, a message from her father, he was taking Ethan to market with him and wouldn’t be back till lunchtime. It meant they didn’t have to rush home, and that was nice.

                “So you going to agree to the golf club thing with your dad?” They were sat opposite each other at a table in the dining room.

He shrugged; they’d both talked about their fathers the night before, and hadn’t really concluded anything. Michael was trying to encourage his son into his world, but whilst Sonny had always craved a father, he was also a loner, used to time to himself. He was finding Michael’s enthusiasm difficult to decipher. The fact that he wanted him to join his golf club seemed almost oppressive to Sonny.

                “Well I think he’s trying, that’s more than you ever imagined.”

He nodded, “I just don’t know how to do this. I don’t know how to fit in with him.”

She reached out and squeezed his hand, “he’s got to meet you in the middle too. Don’t feel like you have to try, relationships are two way. Remember that.”

He smiled, “talking of that, what about yours?”

She tucked into her breakfast, chewing contemplatively, “I don’t know. Like I said last night, I want to talk to him, but I’m so angry...”

Sonny smiled, “if he and Stephanie had a relationship twenty years and haven’t seen each other since...well it’s all a bit unrequited isn’t it? They’ve done the right thing, and whether it was right or wrong back then, how much longer do they have to be punished for?”

                “You’ve done a lot of thinking,” she commented quietly.

He shrugged, “neither of them has moved on, neither of them is dating, hasn’t as far as we know. It’s quite tragic to think that all these years they’ve been pining for each other.”

                “What about my mother? What about me?”

He sighed again, “Martha, all I know is that Carl isn’t a bad man, if he’s done wrong he’s had to live with the guilt for years.”

Was it that easy? Did she just pretend that the past hadn’t happened, that her father had told her blatant lies all her life? Could she just move past how those two had infiltrated her relationship with Sonny, forcing them apart?

                “You make it sound easy, to get past it.”

He laughed, “me? The man stressing over a golf club membership? I think it’s the classic case that it’s easier to make decisions objectively for someone else, but never for yourself.”

She sighed, and he added, “do you want to forgive him? Do you want to rectify things with him? Do you think you can? Because Martha, them’s the big questions!” HE drawled in a gangster way.

Martha was none the wiser.

It was over an hour later that she managed to drag him from the room; true to his word he dragged her again into bed once his hunger for food was satisfied. He wanted to drive her, and she was glad to be able to sit back and watch the world go by.

                “Do you want me to drop you home? Or do you want to come back to the pub? Just until Ethan’s back.”

She nodded, “I’d love to come back for coffee.”

He glanced at the clock, “we’ve got an hour before I have to open up. And Pam’s due to work for Sunday lunch.”

After spending such quality time together, she was never more reluctant to leave his company than now, and she knew he felt the same.

                “I’ll call Jade when we get upstairs,” he offered parking the car behind the pub, “if she doesn’t’ answer I’ll leave her a message, it’s not ideal, but then she’s the one who’s AWOL.” He reached out to squeeze her thigh, “and once I’ve done that...then the world can know how much I love you. Ok?”

Martha smiled; it all seemed so easy, and so perfect. Happiness was on the horizon, she just had to deal with her father.

Sneaking in the back door, they climbed up to his first floor home, and burst into the lounge holding hands, only to come to a complete stop. Sat there with a tear streaked face was Jade. Martha tried to pull her hand free of his, but Sonny refused.

                “Jade. I’ve been trying to get hold of you for days. We need to talk.”

Jade looked up at him and nodded, “we do.” She stared from him to Martha, then down to their joined hands. “What’s going on?”

Sonny glanced at Martha and gave a nod, “look, I’ve been trying to tell you, but you’re not answering your phone. It’s over...between us. I love Martha, and we’re going to be together. Sorry if it seems sudden.”

Jade paled then looked between them, “you can’t do that Sonny, I’m pregnant.”