Trying Not to Love You - Part Eighty Three

Chapter Eighty Three

                “I really should be getting home. Imagine if Ethan wakes.”

Sonny wouldn’t release his hold on her, not yet. He wasn’t ready to let her go, “it’s only half one.”

That was true, since he’d come back upstairs they’d spent the last three hours in bed, and it had been amazing.

                “If I fall asleep here Carter I’ll NEVER wake up. It’s just a couple more days, when she’s back, once you’ve told her then who cares where I sleep, or you , as long as we’re together.”

He groaned biting at her collar bone, “I don’t want you to go.”

She lifted his chin to meet his eyes, “have no doubt that I feel the same way, but I have to go. You know that.” After a cherishing kiss she gave him a sad smile, “Lucy’s already guessed about you. Think she heard you leaving this morning.”

                “Tell her, then at least I can come to you.”

She sighed, “sharing secrets stops them being that. Look, you’re here till late, you not working tonight was an exception, I can’t sit at a bar all night and not touch you...so we’ll have to limit ourselves to the odd moments here and there. But it won’t be for long.”

Swinging herself to sit on the edge of the bed, she searched for her clothes at the same time two hands reached around her to cup her breasts, “five more minutes?” HE breath against her spine sent tingles to her toes, as did the gentle caress of his fingers. With a groan of submission she allowed him to pull her back down to the mattress.

The next morning after dropping Ethan to school, Martha strolled into town, she’d had a barrage of texts from Sonny all morning and she was feeling adored. She almost had a skip in her step. As she reached the cafe, she looked at it longingly, the thought of a greasy breakfast really appealed.

                “It’s bad for you!” A voice at her ear set her whole body off into goosebumps. Sonny.

Turning slowly, she smiled at the sight of him, a sleeveless running top and a pair of joggers, all hot and sweaty and glowing as he looked at her.

                “Everything’s good for you in moderation, you know that Carter.”

He grinned, “some things only suffice in excess.” Giving her a wink he stretched an arm above his head, groaning at the pressure in his triceps.

                “As I said earlier you are incorrigible.”

The smile he gave her was dazzling, “can I come to yours for lunch? Paul’s working for me...”

She paused for a moment and deliberated, “not sure I’ll be there, I’m quite busy.”

Lifting an eyebrow he gave a little laugh, “there was me thinking you were bored being out of work.”

                “Well I’m looking for work, but if you are lucky you might catch me serving left over lasagne and salad about half twelve...when Aunt Lucy is in Northbury.”

He made a vomiting gesture, “leftovers and salad? Rabbit food! What do you take me for?”

Grinning she turned away from him throwing “it’s a special recipe lasagne though, given to me by Marco, my father’s old chef.”

His eyes widened as he reached for her, “you’re throwing HIM at me? The perv who took your virginity!”

                “It’s not the first man I have sex with that should be your concern, but the last.”

That made him smile as he watched her leave.

She spent the morning, on her laptop and phone scouring for jobs, there was very little available and she was feeling rather depressed. She wasn’t unskilled, but she’d done such a variety of jobs and didn’t have the most transferable or desirable skills. She SO wished that the restaurant was still running, she loved the nature of the work, she didn’t have enough money to open a business on her own. It was so frustrating.

She called Jack, he was always a distraction, and she spent fifteen minutes telling him what had happened as she’d finally managed to ensnare Sonny. He gushed appreciatively, and they both avoided her real reason for calling, work.

                “I can’t find anything, what do you think I should do? I mean I need to be around for Ethan, so long days or later evenings are out. I’m struggling to even know where to look.”

He sighed, “you are a brilliant saleswoman, but I suppose there’s a shortage of boutique’s in your town.”

                “You could say that. It’s so annoying.”

He laughed, “if I think of anything I’ll let you know.  

When the door finally was knocked Martha was feeling desperate. So she was more than glad of the distraction. Skipping down the stairs she opened the door and took in the sight of Sonny, in another thin knit sweater that clung to his muscles, and her favourite worn jeans that hugged his thighs and arse. As he demurely stepped into the hallway she ogled him openly.

                “Young lady!” He announced kicking the door shut and pulling her into his arms once they were safely ensconced behind the front door.  “You are going to get me arrested if you keep looking at me like that!”

She giggled, “I’ve been thinking about devouring you all day.”

That made him smile, a confident knowing smile, “I am all yours!”

With a soft sigh her pulled her closer, his hands flew to her jaw, securing her for his ravenous lips to devour. Within seconds they were breathless, panting, senses heightened, pulses racing.

Lifting his head, Sonny looked down at her passion driven face, eyes glazed, mouth almost swollen and groaned, “I can’t hide this anymore Martha, I can’t deny you, live without you again.”

                “We just have to wait a couple of days, do the right thing.”

He shook his head, “I don’t care what anyone thinks. Other than you. People always think the worst of me, particularly in this town. It doesn’t bother me.”

She lifted her hand to tenderly cup his cheek, “it bothers ME, I LOVE you, you’re good, you’re caring, you’re thoughtful, and I want people to know that, not to think that you’re some uncaring thug. You might be happy with people thinking you’re some sort of bastard. But you’re not that man Sonny. Maybe you’ve just got used to people giving up on you...but I won’t. I can’t let you do this. It’s a couple of days. We can be discreet Carter, you know that.”

                “I can’t say no to you, can I?”

She grinned, “that’s how it should be...” Slowly she unbuttoned the top couple of buttons of her shirt, then started to climb the stairs, “and I can only show you my gratitude.”

As she started to run up the stairs, it took him a moment to process her words, then he was tearing off after her.

It had felt so naughty to have such unadulterated passion in the middle of the afternoon, but it had lifted her mood beyond belief. Now as she meandered around making tea for Ethan she felt so much better than she had done.

                “Can we go to the cinema?”Ethan was halfway through his dinner when he struck up conversation.

Martha paused and looked at him, “not on a school night sweetheart, maybe on the weekend, see if you’re good.”

He took that as an answer then nodding tucked back into his dinner, it was a few minutes before he added, “I thought I was sleeping at granddad’s house on the weekend.”

Trust him not to forget.

                “After your food we’ll go ask him ok?”

Ethan was the perfect diffuser; they couldn’t and wouldn’t argue in front of him, so he was the best chaperone to a conversation.

                “Cool!” Was his answer as he turned back to his dinner with gusto.

An hour later he was skipping up to the back door of the farm. Her father would have seen the car approach and as Ethan reached the house the door opened and Martha sighed as he bent to scoop the boy into his arms. As he talked into Ethan’s ear, lifting him up to his hip, he looked at Martha and smiled.

It was awkward, but she’d fought so long to be close to her father, she knew she had to deal with him soon.

                “He wants a sleep over...on the weekend.”

Carl smiled at her then looked at the expectant face in his arms, “anytime, when do you want to stay?”

They agreed it would be Friday, and eventually she got Ethan back to the house and reluctantly into bed.

                “Fancy a take away Aunt Lucy? I can’t be arsed cooking tonight.”

Lucy giggled, “note I’m not offering to cook. I’ll pay if you call and order it, then we can share the bottle of wine I won this afternoon and tell me all about your late night shenanigans.”

She groaned, “that’s the deal?”

Nodding she handed Martha the take away menus, “that’s the deal.”

Half an hour later, fresh from the bath, Martha answered the door to the deliveryman and took the box of food from him, then climbed back upstairs to join her Aunt. They sat at the small dining table, the steaming cartons of Chinese food sat between them along with two ice cold glasses of wine.

                “So? We had a visitor Monday night?”

Martha could feel the heat rise up her neck, “Aunt Luce, I can’t...”

The older woman stopped her with a raised hand, “I only want you to be happy, the last three days you’ve been glowing, two and two are making four in my head. Tell me I’m wrong.”

Martha closed her eyes for moment, “we have to keep things quiet...he hasn’t had chance to speak to Jade, she’s away. We need to do this right.”

Lucy smiled, “so you mean it was definitely him?”

She laughed, “of course. I pushed him into a corner, and he finally stopped hiding, told me he loved me...” She blushed again, that was only scraping the surface. “But we need to keep this under wraps, until she gets back and he can end things with her.”

                “She’s trash Martha, who cares?”

                “I do! He’s made her promises, told her he wanted to be with her, he OWES her an explanation...I’m not blaming him, but I don’t want us to spend the next weeks or months being judged on that. We’ve fallen foul of so many things so much gossip...I want that to stop now. Can you see that?”

She nodded, “from you I can. Just make sure that you don’t lose sight of what’s important. You two can take whatever’s thrown at you. You’ve been through enough.”

Martha leaned back in her chair and studied her Aunt, “you speak from experience...”

It was Lucy’s turn to blush. “Not really.”

Martha dished herself some of the food, then sipped her wine, “I don’t believe that.”

Lucy sighed, “I loved a man once,” her eyes looked wistful as she stared into the distance, “Henry Walton.” She sighed, “but my father didn’t approve, he wasn’t good enough for me...we tried to sneak around for a few months, but he got fed up with it, and I was too scared to disagree with my father.”

                “What happened?”

She sighed, “he moved away. I never saw him again.”

                “But you’ve never forgotten him?” When her aunt shook his head sadly, Martha asked, “and you’ve never looked for him since?”

She shook her head, “I was twenty one, and it wasn’t like it is now, I didn’t have freedom like you do. It was a long time ago, I’m over it now.”

Martha sighed, “you reckon? You hardly have the men lining up. I’ve never known you as much as go on a date.”

Smiling Lucy reached for her wine, “well I have had a few romances, but none have ever lived up to him, and it’s been a long and sad life missing him. That’s why I don’t want you to make the same mistake. You have to do this right.”

Martha smiled reaching for her aunt’s hand, “I promise to heed this warning. And I only wish you’d told me about this years ago...I might not have ended up in the half the messes I did.”

Lucy smiled, “we live and learn, but there are certain things, certain times when you have to put yourself first. This is one of those times.”

They finished their meal in companionable silence, then watched TV together.

                “Why don’t you go to him? Or tell him to come here...you haven’t stopped texting each other all night.”

Martha looked up at Lucy, “you don’t mind?”

She gave an incredulous look, “why would I mind? This is your home.”

Martha picked up her phone and called him, and a relieved Sonny promised to come over as soon as he’d locked up the pub.