Trying Not to Love You - Part Seventy Nine

Chapter Seventy Nine

                “She said you love her!” Jade was sat on his bed tears spilling down her face and Sonny was getting more and more angry.

                “Bloody hell woman, what she says and what is happening are obviously two VERY different things.”

                “But why would she say it?”

He sighed running his hands through his hair, “maybe you winding her up doesn’t help. You try to snipe at her, this is her responding. Act childishly and you’ll be treated like a child.”

That made her look at him with wide eyes, shock evident on her face, “but I...”

He sighed, “come here.” He pulled her to her feet and into his arms, “ignore her, keep away from her, then nothing can bother us, ok?”

She nodded, “and you keep away from her too. I don’t want her trying to get her claws into you...”

He shook his head, “I have to see her, her father owns half this pub, her son is my nephew...she can say what she wants, it doesn’t matter, ok?”

She looked unconvinced so he kissed her, she hadn’t asked if he loved Martha, that was his saving grace, because he wasn’t someone who lied, and truth be told, he did still love her, for what that meant.

                “How did you sleep?”

Martha was in her comfort zone now that the kitchen was usable, the coffee was brewing, porridge cooking slowly and the breakfast was almost out smelling the paint. Which was a bonus.

                “Good.” Lucy smiled, lowering herself on to one of the small kitchen chairs. It was a long way from the farm kitchen but already the women were at home.  “Most relaxing night in ages. Thanks for all your hard work.”

Martha smiled, “couldn’t see you stuck at the farm.”

Lucy sighed, “what did you say to your dad?”

Handing her a mug of tea she pondered a moment, “I told him I needed somewhere to live...he looks awful. I have to talk to him, I hate what he did, but he’s my dad...I’ve spent so long away from him, I don’t want that again. You forgave them Aunt Lucy.”

Lucy sipped her tea, “I had you to look after, when your mother died I came to help out, I didn’t know all that had happened, I pieced it together over the years. I suppose your father has been good to me, and it’s been a long time. It was the lies I hated, I wanted you to know the truth, especially when you moved to London to live with her.”

                “Have you discussed it with my dad before?”

She shook her head, “maybe I should have. But I’m at an age now where I can’t move on; I mean I’m kind of dependent on him.”

Martha smiled, “not anymore, you’re with me now, ok?”

Standing she moved to the door, “better wake Ethan up, he’s got school, then we can start unpacking and girlying up this place.”

Sonny pounded the streets hoping that the pain of exertion would kill the torment in his head. Since the previous day Jade had been clingy, that was Martha’s fault. He had to tell her to back off; he wasn’t going to back down, to lower his defences to her again. Jade was hinting at how awful her temporary accommodation was, she’d love to move into the pub with him, back into her childhood home, but it seemed too soon, and too much. But it might be the only way to settle things, to calm her down. He couldn’t cope with the hormones and jealousy.

As he reached town a car pulled level with him, and Michael’s face appeared at the window as it opened.

                “Busy?”

The two had struck up a relationship of a fashion, they spoke regularly, spent the odd evening together, but it was never going to be easier than that.

                “Just clearing the cobwebs.”

He smiled, “lot of them I imagine.”

Sonny stopped and stretched out his shoulders, “like you wouldn’t believe.”

                “Wanted to catch up with you, there’s a dinner tomorrow afternoon at the golf club. Wondered if wanted to join me, a chance to meet local business men...”

It had taken a lot to ask that, he could tell.

                “I’ll need to cover the bar. But that should be ok, I look forward to it.”

The two smiled awkwardly at each other, then Derek pulled the car away.

As he squatted, stretched a little he spotted Martha across the road, he wasn’t far from school so he presumed she was coming back from there. He was going to run off, avoid her, but she’d seen him, given a little wave. So he waited for a moment whilst she got close.

                “How’s the flat?”

She nodded, “getting there, been hard work, but worth it. Was that your dad?” She gestured in the direction the car had travelled.

                “Yup.”

Nodding she gave a smile, “things going well there?”

He nodded, “think so, it’s not easy, but then I didn’t expect the fatted calf. Though he has invited me to some golf club dinner tomorrow.”

                “Wow. That’s good news.”

                “You think?”

She laughed, “a golf club is the equivalent of meeting a girl’s parents. Don’t get pissed and make a tit of yourself and you might get a membership out of it.”

                “I’ve never played golf; it’s hardly the usual hobby of a London gangster.”

That made Martha laugh, “you were never a gangster, a hired thug at worst.”

She laughed, knowing his past, knowing everything about him she still smiled, would Jade act the same way?

Now was not the time to make comparisons, they were different people. And Jade would know what she had to know.

As he was about to jog off, get back for a shower, she added, “if you need some help...cover the bar whilst you’re out. Give me a shout. I’ve worked in many pubs in the past.”

Those words echoed in his head as he showered. As much as part of him wanted to spurn her, push her away he was new to his job, he didn’t trust people easily, and he couldn’t work every hour that the pub was open. He had Paul, and a few of the regular staff...but he trusted Martha. He’d trust her with his life. He had several times.

                “I could do with your help.”

Martha had expected anyone BUT Sonny to be at the door when the bell rang. She’d just finished hanging curtains in the lounge and was hot, sweaty and dusty again. “Help?”

He nodded, “earlier, you offered to help at the bar...but it’s more than that. I’ve never run a business, ordering, accounts, rotas...it’s all a mess to me. Would you show me how to do it? I only wish I’d paid more attention when I worked at the restaurant.”

She smiled, “of course I’ll help...but it might upset things.”

Jade.

He sighed, “I’ll keep her away from you as long as you don’t wind her up.”

                “Sounds great in an ideal world, but she winds herself up.”

                “That maybe so. But I need you to cut me some slack. Ok?”

She gave him a dazzling smile, “I’m not doing anything Sonny, not really. Seems I’m a permanent fixture in her head...and yours! That’s not my problem. I’ll shower then be over, get the paperwork ready?”

With that she shut the door, leaving him Sonny yet again in that almost perpetual state of frustration, he only got that around her, that was why he needed Jade, life with her was simple, straight forward, and nothing got to him.

The spent three hours together at the kitchen table in the pub, Sonny trying to absorb the instructions that Martha offered.  She surmised that he needed at least one more member of staff, and she’d worked out his tax details, the pays.

As she closed the account book and turned to him, he groaned, “I wish I’d finished school, maths is really not my strong point.”

                “Well I can help you for a while; keep things up to date for a few weeks. You’ll get the hang of it.”

Sighed in frustration, Sonny closed his eyes, and that made her laugh.  “We work well together Carter, we always did.”

He shook his head, “it’s temporary, just until I work things out.”

Martha leaned back in her chair, “this may be temporary,” she pointed to the accounts books, “but this isn’t.” She moved a finger between them, “why are you fighting this?”

                “There’s nothing to fight. You rejected me, told me it was over, and then you disappeared. There is only so much shit I can deal with, and that is all you ever give me.”

Laughing, she gathered her things together, “really? You love excitement, you love hassle and you love me. What more do you need?”

He was staring at her, emotion ravaging his face, he was wavering, she could tell. She was penetrating his defences.

                “What is SHE doing here?”

They both glanced up at the shriek from their right to see Jade stood there, furious. The shutters fell on Sonny’s face, and she groaned to herself.

Watching the other woman, stood there, hands on hip, aggression on her face, Martha gave a knowing grin, the worse Jade behaved, the more Sonny would realise that he was wrong, that he was hiding from her. Jade was going to annoy him, drive him away; all she had to do was wait...and make things as difficult as possible.

                “I’m helping him, with the business,” she said it in a very derogatory voice, looking down her nose at Jade, before turning back to Sonny with a smile. “I’ll speak to you later; see if it’s starting to make sense.”

Sonny nodded a goodbye, then she gave Jade her best smile. Sonny groaned as she disappeared, at the same moment that Jade exploded in front of him.

Ethan was asleep by seven that night, so Martha joined Lucy in front on the TV.

                “Not going out tonight?”

Lucy shook her head, “I’m tired, feel like a night in. Why don’t you go out? Go see how that boy’s doing in the pub?”

Martha smirked, “what are you planning Aunt Lucy?”

The older woman smiled, “nothing, just know that woman he’s hanging around with is wrong for him.”

                “That’s what I’ve been telling him.”

Lucy nodded, “don’t let ‘doing the right thing’ destroy what could be the best thing to happen to you. Go get changed.”

Martha was tired, but she knew that Lucy was right; she had to fight for him, and not waste time.  She had to beat Jade on every level she could, clothes, glamour she failed on, so that left her knowledge of Sonny, he was a good friend, she knew him better than anyone. They were friends, shared so much together, but they were lovers too, and that meant she knew everything about him. She also knew that he liked certain things, and MORE than liked others -  her black and cerise bra for a start, also her slim jeans, and her red ‘fuck-me’ heels as he’d termed them once. So that made up the bulk of her outfit. An off the shoulder sheer top maximised her assets, and she straightened her unruly hair. She was going to be herself, fairly understated yet hopefully sexy, with enough glimpses that he realised what he was about to let go. She knew they were destined to be together, but she also knew he was a principled man; he hated admitting he was wrong. His damned pride could ruin everything.

The pub was quiet, but then it was a Monday in February, hardly a reason for most to be out and about. When she walked into the pub Sonny was restocking the fridges with bottles of coke and fruit juice. Eamonn was stood at the bar and smiled at her.

                “Looking good Martha, you off somewhere nice?”

As she smiled at him, she could feel Sonny’s eyes on her, “felt the need for a quiet drink, been invited into Northbury, but it’s a bit grim out so may not bother.”

                “Bill’s heading that way later if you need a lift call him.”

She smiled, “I will, thanks. Can I get you a drink Eamonn? Not even close to repaying you for all your help yesterday.”

He nodded, “great, I’ll have a pint please Sonny.”

As he poured it, Sonny looked at her questioningly, “what do you want?”

She gave her most sultry smile then answered, “the most?” She gave a little giggle, “guess!”

He rolled his eyes as a response, but Martha could see the flush that warmed his neck, and the way he gritted his teeth. She affected him, and she was going to spend the evening reminding him of that fact.