Trying Not to Love You - Part Seventy Seven

Chapter Seventy Seven

Martha was shaking as she climbed the stairs away from the debacle that was her life. Had she honestly thought he’d be pleased to see her? Yes was the answer. Had she expected Jade to be there? No. She could hear Ethan’s voice echoing from the kitchen and she gave herself a moment to regain her composure. She was a fool to think that nothing would have changed in the time that she was away, or that Sonny wouldn’t be hurt. Now that everything was so clear it had all seemed so easy. But he loved her; he told her that just two weeks earlier, you don’t fall out of love in that time. She WOULD make him see that they were meant to be, because she hadn’t gone through eleven months of hell to lose him at this final stage. And he was what she wanted, if she doubted it the two weeks without him had proved it, she needed him like oxygen. Wasn’t part of the fun the chasing? She had to make herself a plan...amongst everything else she had to do, she liked nothing more than a challenge.

Pasting on her best and most hopeful smile, she entered the kitchen were Lucy was sat and looked up with a smile. The two women embraced as Ethan opened the cupboard looking for goodies.

                “I’m so glad you’re back.”

Martha smiled, she was thinking on her feet, she’d honestly believed her and Lucy may have been able to stay at the pub, now that wasn’t an option. She sighed, that left her original plan - the flat above the restaurant. It meant she’d have to speak to her father, but that was always going to have to happen, Ethan was desperate to see those damn chickens.

                “Glad to be back. I’m going to move us about the restaurant, are you still with me?”

Lucy nodded, “I’, not ready to look either of them in the face.”

Martha smiled, “will you stay here until I get keys off my father?”

Martha was trying to rack her brains to work out how the hell she was going to manage to pay for things, the whole time she’d run the restaurant she hadn’t claimed a proper salary, but had used the restaurant profits to run the house. Now that her father had sold the lease on it she had no official source of income.

                “Of course. Is Ethan staying?”

She glanced down at him, he’d found some biscuits and was proceeding to eat them. She didn’t want him to witness this confrontation so she nodded, “that would be great. I won’t be long. I think the flat is empty, I’ve some stuff in storage, but I can get it up here soon.”

                “Have a coffee before you go.”

Grabbing a mug she half filled it, “a quick one.”

Lucy smiled, “tell me about your trip.”

She lowered herself into a seat at the table, “it was JUST what we needed. Wasn’t it mate?”

Sonny tried to control his racing heart, he had no idea how it would be when he finally faced Martha, and he was glad to see her, he knew that. But he was angry too.

He looked at Jade who’d wandered down through from his home upstairs through the bar to the cellar in just a towel.

                “What are you doing wandering around in just a towel?”He was angry with her for being there, for spoiling his chance to tell and show Martha how angry he was.

                “I came out of the shower and that boy was there.”

                “His name is Ethan.”

She rolled her eyes, “but he just walked in, I mean this is your home!”

He shook his head, “get two things straight, that boy IS my family, he’s my nephew, and even if he wasn’t, I lived with that family for a long time, they are welcome here ANY time.”

She stepped back, “does that mean I’m not?”

HE scowled, “you’re here aren’t you? Just don’t interfere with my business, that’s nothing to do with you, ok? And get some clothes on.”

It wasn’t her fault, but she had pushed him on to the back foot, and he could barely contain his frustration, without her being there barely dressed.

Leaving the cellar he closed the back door and headed upstairs.

He could hear voices in the kitchen as he approached, Martha talking about the sun and the beaches. Taking a deep breath he entered the room. Ethan looked up and saw him instantly.

                “Sonny!” He flew across the room and Ethan stooped to scoop him into a hug.

                “You ok Champ?”

Sonny was glad of the distraction of the youngster for a moment.

                “Yep! I’ve been on holiday. We were on the beach. You HAVE to see me swimming!”

Sonny grinned, “sounds like great fun.”

When he placed Ethan back on the floor, both pairs of female eyes were on him.

                “I shouldn’t have shouted at you.” He offered, “but you disappeared, I was worried...and angry.”

Martha gave him what seemed to be a knowing smile, “you hardly shouted, and well you’re the King of disappearing, I’m surprised you were that concerned.”

Turning to Lucy she gave a beaming smile, “I won’t be long, Ethan - be good. Ok?”

Then she flounced out of the room leaving Sonny feeling as though he needed to punch a wall. 

Martha stopped Herman in the yard, there wasn’t much sign of life in the house, and suddenly she was wondering what she was about to walk into. Last time she’d been here she’d heard the unthinkable, before that she’d see the unbelievable.

She knocked the door with a laugh, she hadn’t knocked the door in her twenty eight years, and there was no answer. So she opened it, walked in. She’d not made it to the lounge when her father appeared, he was pale, almost deathly so, and gaunt looking.

                “Martha,” he sighed. “You’re back?”

She shrugged, she couldn’t pity him, not yet, “I’m back in town. I’m not ready for anything more than that...” She gave an awkward smile, “I want to stay at the restaurant. I presume the flat there’s still empty.”

He nodded, “it’s not that nice though, no one’s been in it for ages.”

She shrugged, “I can paint it, clean it, that’s not a problem. I’ve never shirked hard work.”

                “This is your home...I’m sorry.”

Shaking her head Martha looked at him, “we need to talk, I know that, but I’m not ready. I need to sort my life out. I can’t be put in a position where you can pull the rug from under me so easily, I’ve always been independent, worked, been self sufficient, and then you threw it all up in the air. I can’t even begin to think about the rest of it, it’s abhorrent, if I think about it I won’t sleep, won’t function. I love you Dad, but I’m not ready to talk to you. Ok?”

He nodded sadly, “but you will be?”

Giving a sad shrug, she said, “I hope so. You don’t look great.”

He sighed, “I missed you, hate everything...”

Martha ignored the pain she felt at his sadness, “where’s she?”

Her father groaned, “she HAS been looking after me, but she had a meeting in London. She’ll be back this evening.”

                “Ok. I’ll send Ethan around later. He’s missed you...and I need the time to get on with things.”

He moved across to the sideboard and found a set of keys, “the door to the street is stiff, give it a shove. Ok?”

She nodded then took the keys, never more glad that her father hadn’t completely sold the restaurant.

Her optimism didn’t last long. The flat was a mess. On the plus side it had three bedrooms - two large and a very small one, which meant that she wouldn’t have to share with Ethan. But the kitchen was disgusting, dusty, dirty and very unloved. The lounge was filled with junk, filing cabinets, broken furniture and the like. Before she returned to the pub she got out her phone. It was Saturday lunchtime; she had time to get on the case.

Before returning to the pub she’d hired a skip, it was being delivered at any time, ordered some paint so that she could freshen up the bedrooms, then called Mike in London to arrange for her furniture and belongings to be delivered two days later. It didn’t leave much time, and she had to work hard, but she wasn’t scared of that. Ethan had two grandparents and an uncle, they’d have to step up and help out with him whilst she decorated and made a home.

Once she had a stable home she could relax and concentrate on making Sonny realise that they were meant to be together. But her home was her priority.

The bar was busy, but then a Saturday afternoon with a London football derby on the TV was always going to be hectic. Most people looked at her and smiled, but it was Paul behind the bar who made the greatest fuss.

Martha gave him a brief hug then asked about Sonny.

                “He’s upstairs with Ethan, Lucy had to go out and he's babysitting I understand?”

She nodded, “Ethan would love to see the kids, he’s missed them.”

                “Bring him over tomorrow? I’m not working.”

                “Can’t. I’m moving into the flat above the restaurant, and it needs SERIOUS work. That’s my weekend.”

He nodded, as usual not asking the questions she imagined were utmost in his mind, “well if you need some help I’m great with a paint brush, or I can have Ethan.”

She smiled as she let herself behind the bar, “thanks. I’m just going upstairs...”

Sonny was sat on the threadbare sofa, Ethan on his knee and they were watching a film, Monsters University she could see as she got closer.

                “Thanks for helping out.”

Both looked up at her voice, and Sonny slipped out from under Ethan, “I just need to talk to your mother, ok?”

Ethan slumped back against the sofa, reaching for a handful of popcorn from the bowl she hadn’t spotted without even looking up. She marched into the kitchen and was waiting for him there. With a smile.

                “Martha...”

She kept the smile, “Carter. I can’t put Lucy up at the flat tonight. It’s a tip. Ethan going to spend the rest of the day with my father...” she stumbled over the word, then rediscovered her smile, “then I’m going to start on the flat. It’ll take me as long as I have.”

                “I can help.” He offered.

                “Don’t think that Jade would like that.”

He groaned and rolled his eyes, “don’t do this Martha. You made your choices, I made mine.”

She laughed, “I did make my choices, but when I wasn’t seeing things as they are.”

                “What do you mean?”

Her laugh was louder this time, “exactly that. I made my decisions based on what matters to everyone else. Not me...or you, us.”

                “There is no us, I’m with Jade, I’ve made my choice, and I’ve chosen her. She’s what I want.”

Martha stepped towards him, “who are you convincing here? Cos I think he doth protest too much, to quote the bard.”

Through gritted teeth he snarled, “I don’t! I know what I want.”

Walking towards him she gave her most sultry smile, “and I know what I want...YOU.” She placed a finger on his chest. When he stepped back, anxious, terrified, she added, “and it’ll happen. I’ve got to sort some things out, and you’ve got to appreciate how wrong for you Jade is. But I’ll be waiting, and I’m VERY patient.” With another dazzling smile, she made for the door, then looked back at him, “it may take a while, for everything to conspire to let us finally be together, but it’ll give me time to plan exactly what I want to do...and you to wonder what that will be...like a promising yet agonising foreplay!”