Trying Not to Love You - Part Ninety Eight

Chapter Ninety Eight

 

Michael smiled as Ethan climbed the huge tree in his garden, there were signs that Scott had probably climbed it as a child, maybe even Michael himself, there were weathered and worn footholds that looked as though they’d been purposely moulded into the bark.

                “He’s like a monkey, so nimble!”

Martha chuckled from her position behind him watching Ethan run around the garden from the safety of the huge glass windows of the dining room.

                “I think it’s because they have no fear.” She looked up at Michael, “he doesn’t believe that he can fall, therefore he doesn’t.”

He laughed at that, “life is so much easier before you reach double figures.”

The awkward paused between them that followed needed to be broken, “sorry Michael, Sonny still isn’t discussing anything with me, he’s hurt...and defensive.”

Michael sighed, “I can’t blame him, we were just starting to make some headway, he was just starting to trust me...he’s a long way from liking me, but...then that cow...”

                “You were talking to her, that was how he found out?” She prompted him, wanting to know what happened herself.

Michael sighed and looked to the ceiling for a moment, “I didn’t know...I wasn’t involved...not like he thinks. Do you believe that?”

She looked at the man and smiled, “I have no reason to think you’d lie. You never have up to now.” And that was the truth, when she contacted him to say she was pregnant five years ago, he’d stuck by her, no questions, no doubts, and other than the way he reacted after losing his son, he’d never done anything more than support her. She really had no reason to think that he’d lie. Not to her.

                “She called me. About a week after they left. Crying. She told me that she needed money, that Sonny was struggling to make ends meet. I was meeting him most weeks for lunch or a few drinks, I knew he wanted his independence and would never take help from me. She was a different case. She asked for money first of all. I of course ignored her. But then she started to threaten to take him away. Apparently she’s got relatives up North, and she tried to blackmail me, I’d lose Sonny if I didn’t.”

                “So you gave her money.” Martha could see how broken the man was, he didn’t want to lose his son, not so soon after finding him.

He nodded, “it was the wrong thing to do as then she started to blackmail me, she’d tell him I’d given her money.” He sighed, “then one day, I met her in London and I overheard her say something, and it was then I realised that she wasn’t pregnant. She denied it, but I turned up at the flat that day to make her listen, make her tell him the truth.”

Martha groaned, “and instead he walked in and heard you confront her as conspiring with her.”

                “It’d be funny if wasn’t so hard.”

Crossing the room she placed a hand on his arm, “he’s not unreasonable, he’ll understand. He just buries his head in the sand when he gets hurt. If he hadn’t grown to care about you he wouldn’t be avoiding you. I will keep working on him, ok?”

Michael smiled, “I just take heart in the fact that I see my grandson, you do more than enough for me.”

They ate dinner in the conservatory overlooking the river and Martha watched with pleasure as the two interacted so happily. But all too soon they had to leave and go back to their home there was still so much to sort out, and Sonny’s stubbornness over his father wasn’t helping.

                “It’s my birthday next week!” Ethan announced as they finally made for the front door.

Michael nodded, “so I hear, someone tells me you’re going to be five years old.”

Ethan grinned then gave a firm nod of the head, “will you come to my party?”

                “It’s going to be at the pub, I haven’t fully organised it, but you will come?” Michael looked nervous and she added quickly, “that wasn’t a question. You WILL be there; I don’t care what your stubborn son says. Ok?”

Michael looked at her in a shocked way, but she just laughed then waved as she buckled Ethan in to the front seat of Herman.

                “Can we go see Sonny? I missed him last night.”

Martha rolled her eyes but could hardly refuse, she’d turned up earlier before heading to Michael’s but he was ‘busy’ in the cellar so they didn’t see him. His avoidance of both the truth and his father was making her increasingly angry, but she didn’t want to unleash that wrath in front of Ethan...or the unaware patrons of the pub. “Of course darling, it’ll probably be busy, hopefully Sonny will be home for tea.”

She pulled up at the restaurant, then with their hands linked he skipped alongside her to the pub. As was usual he ran across the room to the bar and slipped through the hatch that took him behind the bar. Sonny who was serving someone immediately squatted to hug him, then lifted him on one hip as he completed the order.

                “So squirt, you ok?”

He nodded enthusiastically, “been climbing trees at my granddad’s, was fun, but I didn’t like dinner!” He added in a theatrical whisper.

Martha rolled her eyes at that, and Sonny laughing met her gaze, “you ok?”

She nodded, “good. You?”

He shrugged then found Ethan a chocolate bar from the fridge. The two disappeared so Martha slipped off her coat and dumped it and her bag behind the bar. She’d served half a dozen customers when the two males returned, Ethan carrying a huge bouquet of flowers.

                “These are for you Mum,” he offered with a smile.

She grinned back as she took them, then lifted her eyes to Sonny, the guilt on his face was so obvious, and if he thought flowers were going to make up for his avoidance tactics, the way he was becoming emotionally inept, then he had another thing coming, but, she did like flowers, so she smiled genially, then mouthed, “nowhere near enough”, before taking Ethan’s hand. “Come on darling, time to go home. We’ve got to get you ready for school tomorrow.”

Then they both left.

Sonny felt his hands grip into fists involuntarily, that woman was the only person in the world to illicit that sort of reaction in him. He knew what this was about, he wasn’t stupid, but as time passed, the longer he was back in town the more desperate Martha was for him to reconcile with his father. He shook his head, Michael. He wasn’t thinking of him as anything more than that, not again, never again. ‘And why is that?’ a Martha sounding voice echoed in his head.

Because he started to care...that was what it was. He started to trust someone. And as with the past, they had immediately let him down. He didn’t care why Michael was at the flat that day with Jade, or what role he played in everything. They’d spoken earlier that day and he hadn’t said a word, hadn’t dropped a hint that his old world was based on lies. That was what had annoyed him. Shaking his head he knew that wasn’t it, not entirely. He’d pushed Martha away more times than he cared to remember, but he’d welcomed her back, trusted her again after she’d destroyed his confidence in her. So what was he waiting for with Michael? And suddenly he knew. He needed Michael to come to him, to show him that he was worth it.

Shaking his head he felt sick, when did he become so childish and so needy? His bastard pride was once again trying to ruin his life, it had happened once too often.

It was after midnight when Martha heard the door open. She was curled up on the sofa under a blanket reading her new book, a thriller than she knew she’d struggle to put down when sleep beckoned, and looked up to see him slinking in through the door, his eyes dark and his face pale.

                “You ok?”

He shrugged as he took his coat off, “fine.” Walking to the sideboard he pulled out a bottle of vodka and tipped some into a glass, she chugged a large portion of it.

                “Carter...” she slid her legs to the floor and stood up.  “Where have you been?”

Shrugging again, he refilled the glass, then turned to look at her, “a couple of the guys stayed for a drink and a game of poker.”

                “You win?”

Nodding he drank again, “fifty quid up. Small stake.”

                “Why are you avoiding me? Hating me?”

He groaned, “I don’t hate you, but you are pushing me into a corner, and I want to scream! I want to run away. I do everything you want, I’ve stopped smoking, I eat salad, I run a business, I came HOME. For you! But it’s not enough, is it?”

Martha sighed, “I don’t give a shit whether you speak to Michael or not, not really. But I care that it affects us, that it will affect Ethan, and that it makes you angry, even now!”

He shook his head, “it’s not that that makes me angry!”

Rolling her eyes she bookmarked her page and stuck the novel under her arm, “in six days time you are hosting my son’s fifth birthday party at the pub, and his grandfather WILL be there, both of them. So I guess you won’t be angry at any of that.”

She was curled up under the duvet when the bedroom door opened, and then the mattress dented beside her. As two arms encircled her, pulling her into his hard chest, she softened, allowed it to happen, despite the argument she didn’t want to push him away, and as his lips found her neck she sighed, she couldn’t resist him, didn’t want to.

Four days later Ethan had gone to Paul’s straight from school and Martha was busy packing his gifts. He was having SO much, but then this was a special day for her little man, previous birthdays had seen him celebrating with just her and Stephanie. This year he had his Aunt, his grandfathers, his new school friends, Jack and Mike were bringing Evie from London too. It was going to be a full house.

Fortunately the forecast was for sunshine, so the plan for a bouncy castle in the garden was still viable, and she’d found an entertainer, party games, balloon animals. All perfect she hoped. Though she also realised that she was far more stressed than she should be. And a part of that was what would happen when Sonny finally saw Michael. She wasn’t worried about him making a scene, Sonny wasn’t like that, but it was what it would do to him.

With the final parcel wrapped, she placed them all in her wardrobe. It was then her phone bleeped.

Aunt Lucy...who had suddenly discovered how to text.

                ‘I’m staying in Harrogate. Henry has booked a hotel. I’ll be back Saturday for the party.’

She smiled, Martha was so happy that her Aunt was finally having fun, she lived a very social life, but it was so nice that she finally had someone to care for her, no one deserved it more.

                ‘Dirty Stop Out! Only kidding. Have a great time, don’t worry about us. See you Saturday!’

The next text was from Paul.

                ‘Can Ethan have a sleep over? They’re all in bed watching a movie. It’s no problem. Maybe you could have a night out?’

She sighed at that, abandoned by everyone! It was only five o’clock; there was plenty of time to plan her evening.

Walking into the bedroom she found the new top she’d bought on the weekend, her best glam jeans and the cowboy boots she knew Sonny had dreams about. Changing quickly, she spent twenty minute glamming up in the bathroom, then made for the pub. She’d barely seen him all week, they were always on opposite schedules and the last thing she wanted was things to deteriorate between them.

So she sauntered into the bar and was rewarded with a double take from her lover, his eyes wide, his smile appreciative, more than that. Then he nodded to Pam the other person working that night and stalked across the room to her.

His arms wrapped around her, his lips found her, and they were all good, because as much as they argued, as much as they fought, they were both desperate for each other. That was their saving grace.

                “You look amazing,” he whispered into her hair ignoring the wolf whistles from the patrons present.

                “All dressed up and nowhere to go.” She offered the words with a seductive smile. “Ethan’s staying at Paul’s, Lucy’s up North...”

He grinned, “it’s quiet...I can take you out?”

She shook her head, “I’m going to sit at the bar here, and have a drink.”

He watched her move to the stool and slide onto it, then with a smile she turned to him,

                “A glass of wine please.”

Sonny rolled his eyes as he poured the drink, then as he handed it to her, she gave him a smile. “I’ve arranged for Robert to come in to work at eight, and there’s a table booked at Mumbai Massala for half past...then I’m thinking of all the time we can spend at home, together...alone.”

Sonny was grinning, “I sense a but...”

She leaned forward, “I want you to go speak to your father...” as he made to protest she held up a hand, “I’ve asked you, I’ve begged you, and I’ve even threatened you. But I’ve had no luck...”

He had the decency to look a little po-faced. So she continued, “so... I’m resorting to a little bribery...”

Sonny’s eyes widened, with a lust-filled grin he shook his head in wonder, “I’m always game for a little bribery.”

She gave a smile, then leaned forward so that her lips were close to his ear and no one else could hear, “You know that list of yours?”

His eyes lit up and he gave a mute nod, he instantly knew EXACTLY what list she was talking about, his dream night list.

It made her smile, “well everything on that dream list of yours...clothes, words...and actions, ALL yours, all for YOU. If you clear the air.”

As she pulled back she loved the look on his face, his eyes were glazed over, his mouth open, jaw slack, and for that split second he was floored. Then his lips curled up into a smile and his whole face lit up, “talk...to my father...” He could barely manage any more words. With another mute nod, he reached for his coat, then took the keys to Herman that she offered dangling from her index finger.

 At the door to the car park he looked back at her, “everything?”

She but her bottom lip and gave him her greatest seductive look then nodded, “EVERYthing.”

With those same wide eyes he ran out into the car park and out of view.